I. An Assignment from President Nelson
Elder Gilbert: Christine and I have been given the assignment to speak together in commemoration of The Family: A Proclamation to the World, which was first introduced 30 years ago today. We will share our witness as well as our personal experiences with the proclamation. We also recognize that each person has their own unique circumstances and family situations. Know that each of you is a beloved son or daughter of God and will always have a place in His eternal family.
Sister Gilbert: We will start with a story from an earlier assignment. Ten years ago, in this very auditorium, President Russell M. Nelson announced my husband as the new president of BYU-Idaho.
Elder Gilbert: Fittingly, the title of President Nelson’s message that day was, “The Lord Uses the Unlikely to Accomplish the Impossible.” [1] On the morning of the announcement, we had arrived early with our entire family. President Kim B. Clark had been concerned that people might anticipate the announcement. He wasn’t even sure if we should bring our family for fear it would lead to speculation. And to avoid signaling anything to his staff, he decided it was best not to save seats for us. So, we arrived early and scrabbled to find seating for all nine Gilberts when the doors opened. The closest seats we could secure were all the way into the middle of the main plaza. After President Nelson announced my role, he had our entire family come to the podium. We looked like the Von Trapp family singers walking to the stage. Our friend Leon Parsons captured this portrait of that moment.
Sister Gilbert: The significance of that painting is more than just a poignant moment for our family. Prior to the announcement, we met with President Nelson to discuss our new BYU-Idaho responsibilities. President Nelson only gave us one specific charge: Teach the importance of the family. In fact, when it was unclear whether to bring our family to the announcement, it was President Nelson who said, “Bring them. They are part of your assignment.”
Elder Gilbert: How would you have responded to President Nelson’s invitation? Here are a few of the ways Christine and I felt impressed to respond:
We started with home evenings that had long been a tradition on campus since President and Sister Bednar. A new president’s home had just been completed with expanded space for hosting. Christine and I felt to move these gatherings from campus into our home to provide a more intimate experience of family life. Here is a picture of Sister Gilbert sharing a message at one of those home evenings. We estimate that over 10,000 students gathered in our home during our time at the university. Christine and I also taught the Eternal Family course. With my president’s schedule, it was hard to hold regular classroom meetings, so we worked with the teaching group to combine every section of the university in the Taylor Chapel twice a semester. We focused several of our devotionals on the family proclamation, including this message entitled, “Happiness in Family Life.” [2]
Sister Gilbert: We also included our children in activities at the university. Here are my husband and our son John judging the dunk contest in the Hart Gym and another picture of our children participating in a ropes course activity on campus. Also, because we knew not every student would have the opportunity to come to our home, we created a family introduction video called “Meet the Gilberts.” Here’s a clip from that message. We later launched the first BYU-Idaho Date Night, and an additional event for married students. Here is a picture of us with the Bednars as they shared advice on marriage and dating. Of course, the Merediths have continued that tradition, and they invited us to join them last year. For that event, we created this invitation video. If you don’t have a date for tonight, there is still time to ask someone!
II. A New Assignment
Elder Gilbert: We have again received an assignment to teach the importance of the family at BYU-Idaho. Today marks the 30th anniversary of the family proclamation. Our assignment comes directly from the First Presidency. Even as we gather here, Elder Ronald A. Rasband is speaking on the same subject at BYU. Commemorative messaging will also be marked across the entire Church Educational System.
Sister Gilbert: I remember that night 30 years ago when the Family Proclamation was introduced. Clark and I were newly married and had recently graduated from college. We lived in Santa Monica, California, and could only imagine our future family. President Gordon B. Hickley, in counsel with the Relief Society leadership, determined to introduce the proclamation at the women’s session the week before general conference. [3] I drove that night to our ward building with a group of young married sisters and we watched the broadcast together on a large screen in the chapel.
President Hinckley’s introductory remarks included the following: “With so much of sophistry that is passed off as truth, with so much of deception concerning standards and values … [we] now issue a proclamation to the Church and to the world as a declaration and reaffirmation of standards, doctrines, and practices relative to the family which the prophets, seers, and revelators of this church have repeatedly stated throughout its history.” [4]
He then read the nine-paragraph family proclamation in full. By way of overview, “paragraph one [states the family is ordained of God]; paragraph two introduces the topic of gender and eternal identity; paragraph three discusses covenants and ordinances tied to marriage; paragraph four covers chastity [and the importance of bearing children]; paragraph five reminds us of the sanctity of life; paragraph six outlines marital roles; paragraph seven introduces the concept of ‘happiness in family life;’ paragraph eight presents a prophetic warning [not to ignore] family responsibilities; and paragraph nine provides a call … to strengthen the family as the fundamental unit of society.” [5]
Elder Gilbert: In the 30 years since its introduction, the prophetic significance of the proclamation has only grown. For example, the warnings originally given about the disintegration of the family have largely been borne out in the social science. [6] Scholars have repeatedly linked the decline of marriage and the dissolution of two-parent homes to increases in poverty, abuse, incarceration, and diminished outcomes for children. [7] Still, as Elder D. Todd Christofferson stated, “The social science case for marriage and for families headed by a married man and woman is compelling … But our claims for the role of marriage and family rest not on social science but on the truth that they are God’s creation.” [8]
Sister Gilbert: Let us first say a word about the authorship of the proclamation where the opening sentence reads, “We, the First Presidency and Council of the Twelve Apostles of the Church of Jesus Christ solemnly proclaim.” [9] In his general conference address entitled, “The Plan and the Proclamation,” President Oaks reminded us that the “President of the Church and 14 other Apostles of the Lord issued these important doctrinal statements.” [10]
President Nelson taught this important role of prophets in teaching the love and laws of God: “The Lord Jesus Christ, whose Church this is, appoints prophets and apostles to communicate His love and teach His laws … Sometimes we as leaders of the Church are criticized for holding firm to the laws of God, defending the Savior’s doctrine, and resisting the social pressures of our day. But our commission as ordained apostles … means we are commanded to teach truth. In doing so, sometimes we are accused of being uncaring … But wouldn’t it be far more uncaring for us not to tell the truth—not to teach what God has revealed?” [11]
Elder Gilbert: To further emphasize the revelatory nature of the proclamation, President Dallin H. Oaks recently explained, “Those who do not fully understand the Father’s loving plan for His children may consider this family proclamation no more than a changeable statement of policy. In contrast, we affirm that the family proclamation, founded on irrevocable doctrine, defines the mortal family relationship where the most important part of our eternal development can occur.” [12] Since its introduction 30 years ago, the family proclamation has been cited in general conference more than 250 times. [13]
III. Finding the Savior in the Proclamation
Sister Gilbert: Even with such prophetic clarity, our message is not that we won’t struggle or make mistakes. In fact, it is just the opposite. Part of mortality is tied to agency. We will often fall short and so will others. We will need forgiveness and will need to forgive others. And even if we don’t yet see ourselves in the proclamation, if we will look to the Savior, He will make up the difference. As BYU professor Jenet Erickson recently reminded us about the proclamation, “It’s not about perfect families. It is about redemption through Christ and all the different ways that we will find Him in our story.” [14]
Elder Gilbert: Our message today is that as you look for the Savior in the family proclamation, you will see yourself in God’s plan for His family and learn more of His plan for your eternal family. Let us share three ways we can find the Savior in the family proclamation: First, covenants and ordinances bind us to Christ and to our families; second, we can find happiness through the teachings of Jesus Christ; and third, sacrifice in marriage and parenting helps us become more like the Savior.
A. Covenants and Ordinances Bind us to Christ and to our Families
Sister Gilbert: To emphasize the centrality of the Savior in the plan of salvation, the Church has created a graphic to help visualize His role across the entire path of progression. How do families enter this plan? President Nelson explained that while “in God’s eternal plan, salvation is an individual matter[,] exaltation is a family matter.” [15] The first paragraph of the proclamation states that “the family is central to the Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of His children.” [16] The third paragraph of the proclamation states, “Sacred ordinances and covenants available in holy temples make it possible for individuals to return to the presence of God and for families to be united eternally.” [17] Families are bound through the sealing ordinance, which symbolically ties families to the Savior Jesus Christ.
Elder Gilbert: This is a picture of my grandparents, Mary Deane Peterson and Art Gilbert. They met at BYU and were sealed in the Salt Lake Temple in 1941. Art was the captain of the BYU football team and was drafted to play professional football for the Detroit Lions. Unfortunately, when he was simultaneously drafted into the Navy, Art was diagnosed with leukemia. My grandma described the loneliness she felt taking the ferry back from the medical center in San Diego. Art would die two years later, leaving my grandma a widow with two young children, including my father. After a lifetime of devoted family service, Christine and I visited her with our own two young children. We noticed Grandma had placed that original picture on her kitchen countertop. She counseled us to cherish our time together. Looking at the picture, she said, “Clark, I’m falling in love all over again.” Grandma would soon pass, and she is now reunited with Art after nearly 60 years apart. Because of temple covenants and ordinances that bind us as families through Jesus Christ, Art and Mary Deane will be bound together for eternity.
Sister Gilbert: This is my Aunt Janet. She is separately pictured as a young girl with her parents and my father. Janet never married, though she sought that blessing. She lived a remarkable life and stayed true to her covenants. She was a star student and eventually became the executive assistant to five consecutive BYU presidents, including President Oaks and President Holland. Here’s a picture of President Holland with Aunt Janet at my husband’s BYU-Idaho inauguration. When Janet passed away, all five of those presidents came to pay tribute to her life. She lived without the companionship of marriage, but because of temple covenants and ordinances that bind us to Christ as families, she is sealed to my grandparents and will always be part of our family. I love my Aunt Janet and I take comfort in President Nelson’s profound statement: “In the Lord’s own way and time, no blessing will be withheld from His faithful Saints. The Lord will judge and reward each individual according to heartfelt desire as well as deed.” [18]
B. Happiness in our families through the teachings of Jesus Christ
Elder Gilbert: A second way we can find Christ in the proclamation is through His teachings: “Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ.” [19] One way to share the Savior’s teachings is by simply loving our children. Christine and I focus on what we call “threshold moments,” those times when children come and go from our home. [20] No matter what else we are doing, everything stops in those moments. That means phones go down, the TV turns off, and the entire focus turns to that child. Sometimes this leads to formal teaching moments, but it always reminds our children that we love them and they are valued in this home.
Sister Gilbert: Of course, we also focus on the teachings of Jesus Christ through scripture study. In our family scripture reading, we often start individually and then ask our children to share insights gained in their reading. It’s like our own version of the BYU-Idaho Learning Model! As parents, we teach study habits, discipline, respect, and hard work. But if we are looking to the Savior in the proclamation, we will also anchor on Christ’s teachings with our families.
C . Becoming More Like the Savior through Marriage and Parenting
Elder Gilbert: The proclamation charges us to become like the Savior: “Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities.” [21] Marital and parenting roles require sacrifice. There is something about giving yourself to a spouse or to a child that changes you.
Throwing off the natural man and becoming more like the Savior isn’t easy. Much like missionary service, marriage and parenting are hard work. One of my former young men from Boston served a mission in Zimbabwe. Years later, our son John was called to that same mission, and we invited Emmanuel to share a message with John. At the end of the evening, Emmanuel said the following, “John, all we heard from your dad growing up was how amazing missions are. How they will change your life. That is all true! But I wish just once your father would have told us how hard missions are.”
Sister Gilbert: Emmanuel was right. Missions, and marriages, are hard work, but they also provide some of the most meaningful purpose in life. Unfortunately, narratives around marriage and parenting often only focus on the demands of these responsibilities and often miss the deeper fulfillment and purpose tied to these sacred roles. As sociologists Jenet Erickson and Justin Dyer note in a recent Wheatley Institute report, “Mothers in our study were more likely than other women to say they felt ‘overwhelmed’ and ‘exhausted’ every day. They were more likely to report that they wished they had more time for themselves. But these same women were also most likely to feel that ‘what I do in life is valuable and worthwhile,’ and that ‘my life has a clear sense of purpose.’” [22]
Clark and I can both attest to moments of exhaustion in our marriage and parenting responsibilities. Here’s a picture of our young family at a Red Sox game—look at those dark bags under my husband’s eyes! He was a new faculty member at the Harvard Business School. We had young children, yet he was always up early with our babies. He took night shifts with bottles and changing diapers. He always came home from work ready to focus on me and on the children. He was present in our lives, and I knew he was putting me and our family first, even with his considerable responsibilities at work. It wasn’t always easy, and sometimes he was really tired.
He wasn’t the only one. This was particularly true when we had our twins. Those early years were such hard work! Here I am holding our twins. Those years now feel like a blur. These are our twins today, graduated from high school and starting college. They are smart, independent, faithful, hardworking young women who have grown and been nurtured in our home. When I look back at all of those late nights and early mornings, I sit in awe at who those girls have become. I marvel at the role I was allowed to play in their lives as their mother.
To the young women in this audience, I want to speak directly to you for a minute. You will receive an onslaught of narratives that will make you feel like marriage and parenting will diminish you and lessen your worth. Do not believe those false narratives. They fail to look at the real lived experience of so many women whose lives witness meaningful impact and purpose. [23] In my own life, I have felt a profound sense of purpose as I have partnered with the Lord and with my husband in bringing children into this world and nourishing them the best I knew how in the light and teachings of our Savior.
Elder Gilbert: Building on Christine’s witness to the sisters, let me share some additional counsel to the young men. University of Virginia sociologist Bradford Wilcox points out that fatherhood essentially pulls men out of themselves and into something far bigger than themselves. It reduces excessive time spent on solitary leisure, often linked to depression and social isolation, and replaces it with structured, reciprocal commitments. [24] As the Apostle Paul taught, “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it.” [25] It is also true that you have a responsibility to educate your mind and provide for your family. [26] But your first responsibility will always be as a husband, father, and priesthood holder. President Boyd K. Packer gave me this counsel years ago when he saw me overinvesting in my work responsibilities at the Deseret News: “Brother Gilbert, you will lead this media group for a season, but you will be a husband and a father for eternity.” [27]
IV. What if I Feel Like I Don’t Fit in the Proclamation?
Elder Gilbert: We realize that even as we have spoken today, there will be some who feel like they don’t fit in the proclamation. President M. Russell Ballard has acknowledged that “more than half of adults in the Church today are widowed, divorced, or not yet married.” [28] Still, his charge was to press on with a hope in Christ. So, whether you face a broken family, feel uncertainty around your identity, or wonder if you will ever marry, have faith in the Savior and keep your covenants. As President Holland has taught: “To those who are alone or feel alone or, worse yet, feel abandoned. … To all such, I speak of the loneliest journey ever made and the unending blessings it brought to all in the human family. I speak of the Savior’s solitary task of shouldering alone the burden of our salvation.” [29]
Sister Gilbert: Look for the Savior in the proclamation. Sister Kristen Oaks who did not marry until she was in her 50s, counseled young adults to “worry less about marriage than about becoming a disciple of Christ.” [30] She later stated, “If you find yourself marking time waiting for a marriage prospect, stop waiting and start preparing. … Seek out opportunities for service and learning. And most important, trust in the Lord.” [31] Find Christ in the sealing of your parents or in the sealing of your ancestors. Find Him in the call to anchor on His teachings in your own family. And find Him in the call to be more like Him. We are all part of a family, and if your current circumstances or immediate family situation isn’t what you hope for, recognize you are part of God’s family.
V. Conclusion and Testimony reinforcement
Elder Gilbert: Let me conclude with our witness that Jesus is the Christ. He is central to the plan and the proclamation. He will make all right as we look to Him. Find the Savior in the family proclamation. Our Father loves you. He sent us His son because He loves you. And through the Savior, we can find joy, connection, and belonging in God’s family. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.
Notes
[1] Russell M. Nelson, “The Lord Uses the Unlikely to Accomplish the Impossible,” BYU-Idaho Speeches, Jan. 27, 2015, https://www.byui.edu/speeches/russell-m-nelson/the-lord-uses-the-unlikely-to-accomplish-the-impossible.
[2] Clark G. and Christine C. Gilbert, “Happiness in Family Life,” BYU-Idaho Speeches, Jan. 12, 2016, https://www.byui.edu/speeches/clark-g-gilbert/happiness-in-family-life.
[3] For a review of those early discussions with the Relief Society, see Sheri L. Dew, Insights from a Prophet’s Life: Russell M. Nelson (Salt Lake City: Deseret Book, 2019), 208. The first two paragraphs of this quotation were written by Sheri L. Dew, while the third paragraph contains President Nelson’s words. See also Barbara Morgan Gardner and Olivia Osguthorpe, “Delivering the Family Proclamation: Insights from Form Relief Society President Elaine L. Jack,” Religious Educator: Perspectives on the Restored Gospel 24, no. 2 (2023), https://scholarsarchive.byu.edu/re/vol24/iss2/11.
[4] Gordon B. Hinckley, “Stand Strong against the Wiles of the World,” Ensign, Nov. 1995.
[5] Gilbert, “Happiness in Family Life.”
[6] “The Family: A Proclamation to the World,” Gospel Library.
[7] Natasha Cabrera et al., “Rebalancing: Children First,” Brookings, Feb. 8, 2022, https://www.brookings.edu/articles/rebalancing-children-first/. See also W. Bradford Wilcox et al., “The Family-To-Prison-Or-College Pipeline: Married Fathers and Young Men's Transition to Adulthood,” AEI Center on Opportunity and Social Mobility, June 13, 2024, https://cosm.aei.org/the-family-to-prison-or-college-pipeline-married-fathers-and-young-mens-transition-to-adulthood.
[8] D. Todd Christofferson, “Why Marriage, Why Family,” Ensign or Liahona, May 2015, 50.
[9] “The Family: A Proclamation to the World,” Gospel Library.
[10] Dallin H. Oaks, “The Plan and the Proclamation,” Ensign or Liahona, Nov. 2017, 28.
[11] Russell M. Nelson, “The Love and Laws of God,” BYU Devotional, Sept. 17, 2019.
[12] Dallin H. Oaks, “Kingdoms of Glory,” Liahona, Nov. 2023, 26.
[13] Michael A. Goodman and W. Justin Dyer, “The Family Proclamation, The Secular and Spiritual Context”, Religious Educator 24, No. 2 (2023).
[14] Mary Richards and Joel Randall, “Episode 258: BYU’s Jenet Erickson on the divine design of the family and ‘The Family Proclamation,’” Church News, Sept. 16, 2025, https://www.thechurchnews.com/podcast/2025/09/16/episode-258-byu-jenet-erickson-family-proclamation-divine-design-mothers-wellbeing/.
[15] Russell M. Nelson, “Salvation and Exaltation,” Ensign or Liahona, May 2008, 7.
[16] “The Family: A Proclamation to the World,” Gospel Library.
[17] Ibid.
[18] Russell M. Nelson, “Celestial Marriage,” Ensign or Liahona, Nov. 2008, 92.
[19] “The Family: A Proclamation to the World,” Gospel Library.
[20] Gilbert, “Happiness in Family Life.”
[21] “The Family: A Proclamation to the World,” Gospel Library.
[22] Jenet Jacob Erickson and Wendy Wang, “A transition of loss: What surveys reveal about young married women and motherhood,” Deseret News, Sept. 8, 2025. See also, “In Pursuit: Marriage, Motherhood, and Women's Wellbeing,” BYU Wheatley Institute, Aug. 26, 2025, https://wheatley.byu.edu/motherhood-report.
[23] Catherine Ruth Pakaluk, Hannah’s Children: The Women Quietly Defying the Birth Dearth (New York City, NY: Gateway Editions, 2024).
[24] Brad Wilcox, “Why Marriage Is Good for Men,” Institute of Family Studies, June 10, 2024, https://ifstudies.org/blog/why-marriage-is-good-for-men.
[25] Ephesians 5:25.
[26] “The Family: A Proclamation to the World,” Gospel Library.
[27] Quentin L. and Mary G. Cook, “Facing Life and Faith Challenges,” Worldwide Devotional for Young Adults, Nov. 19, 2023, https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/broadcasts/worldwide-devotional-for-young-adults/2023/11/12cook.
[28] M. Russell Ballard, “Hope in Christ,” Liahona, May 2021, 53.
[29] Jeffrey R. Holland, “None Were with Him,” Ensign or Liahona, May 2009, 86.
[30] Kristen M. Oaks, “To the Singles of the Church,” CES Devotional for Young Adults, Sept. 11, 2011.
[31] Dallin H. and Kristen M. Oaks, “Stand for Truth,” Worldwide Devotional for Young Adults, May 21, 2023.
About Elder & Sister Gilbert
Elder Clark G. Gilbert was sustained as a General Authority Seventy on April 3, 2021. He currently serves as the Commissioner of the Church Educational System. At the time of his call, he had been serving as an Area Seventy in the Utah Area.
Elder Gilbert has served in a number of Church callings, including full-time missionary in the Japan Kobe Mission, elders quorum president, counselor in a stake presidency, and bishop.
Elder Gilbert received a bachelor’s degree in international relations from Brigham Young University, a master’s degree in Asian studies from Stanford University, and a doctorate from Harvard University. He worked as a professor of entrepreneurial management at Harvard University. He was later the chief executive officer of the Deseret News and Deseret Digital Media. In 2015 he became president of BYU–Idaho and was subsequently appointed as the inaugural president of BYU–Pathway Worldwide in 2017.
Sister Christine C. Gilbert graduated from BYU in Family Science and taught elementary school before becoming a full-time homemaker. Sister Gilbert has served in multiple ecclesiastical roles, including Stake Young Women President, Primary President, early morning Seminary Teacher, and Sunday School Instructor. Sister Gilbert has a love for learning and a passion for her family, and a commitment to the gospel.
Elder and Sister Gilbert were married in 1994. They are the parents of eight children and the proud and delighted grandparents of one.