I just spent winter semester at home with our baby. It was the most fulfilling period of my life. I wanted to bottle up and save every day I got to spend with this precious baby. There was a time (or rather, times) in my life when I wondered if I would ever be a mother. First, when I was an Old Maid by Mormon standards (28), with no real prospects. If I couldn't even get a date, how could I ever get married, I wondered. Then again, after five years of marriage, my husband and I wondered whether we would ever have children. I don't know why I had to wait so long or why the Lord's plan for me didn't include a household full of children by this time in my life as my own plan did. Maybe He wanted to make sure I would cherish every minute with my son, as I have, and offer up my gratitude for the blessing he is in our lives every day. What I do know is that the Lord has directed my path at each step of the way. I know He has a special purpose for me and my life just as he does for you and yours.
Unfortunately, many of God's children have no idea of His plan for their lives. A leading scholar on adolescence and human development recently reported the results of a study indicating that, in general, youth in America lack purpose. William Damon, Stanford Professor of Education, writes:
In our interviews and surveys, only about one in five young people in the 12-22-year age range express a clear vision of where they want to go, what they want to accomplish in life, and why. The largest portion of those we interviewed -- almost 60 percent -- may have engaged in some potentially purposeful activities, or they may have developed some vague aspirations; but they do not have any real commitment to such activities or any realistic plans for pursuing their aspirations. The remaining portion of today's youth population -- almost a quarter of those we interviewed in the first of our studies -- express no aspirations at all. In some cases, they claim that they see no point in acquiring any.[1]
It's easy to see how many of the common complaints about your generation could be blamed on this lack of purposefulness and direction. Fortunately, you don't have to wonder hopelessly about the purpose of your life. The restored Gospel teaches us that life has a purpose, that God has a plan--even a plan for happiness--for all of His children. Furthermore, we know that God has a special individual purpose for each one of us. Former Presiding Bishop H. Burke Peterson said:
You were preserved to come to the earth in this time for a special purpose. Not just a few of you, but all of you. There are things for each of you to do that no one else can do as well as you....If you will let Him, I testify that our Father in Heaven will walk with you through the journey of life and inspire you to know your special purpose here.[2]
I'd like to talk with you today about finding and fulfilling the Lord's special purpose for our lives. Let me begin with an example of a young adult who was inspired to know of his special purpose. Joseph got a preview of his purpose at a young age from two dreams showing that someday his family of mostly older brothers would one day bow at his feet. Joseph might have imagined a life spent raising livestock in Canaan near his family would lead him to great wealth that would cause his brothers to plead for his help, or perhaps he imagined gaining great knowledge and understanding that would cause his older brothers to seek his counsel. The Genesis account doesn't get specific, but it seems unlikely that Joseph could have ever imagined the course that would lead to fulfilling his life's purpose.
We know Joseph was a man of great faith who trusted in the Lord's plan for him. When his own brothers sold him into slavery, he might have wondered how becoming a slave could fulfill the Lord's purposes. But he remained faithful, working hard as Potiphar's servant and continuing to gain the Lord's favor. Then when he demonstrated great righteousness in the face of temptation, Joseph landed in prison. The scriptures tell us, "But the Lord was with Joseph, and shewed him mercy, and gave him favor in the sight of the keeper of the prison."[3]
At this point, I probably would have been thinking something like my own brothers sold me into slavery, but I tried to stay positive. I did what the Lord asked, I worked hard, I avoided temptation, and then I got thrown in jail. I'm supposed to become the leader of my family, and here I am sitting in prison, and I'm supposed to be thankful that the prison guard is nice to me? How can this possibly be part of the Lord's great plan for my life? Has he forgotten me? Does my life really have a purpose? Maybe He did have a plan for me, but I have done something to be unworthy of the plan, and now I will never obtain it.
Certainly these are the kinds of thoughts the adversary would have encouraged. And think how the temptation to give in to such thoughts would have increased as Joseph's time in prison stretched to two years. These were probably not the best two years of Joseph's life. Given Joseph's situation it would have been difficult, at best, to see how things could ever work out.
Despite these hardships, a great man like Joseph probably said daily prayers of gratitude for the prison guard's favor as he kept faith that somehow sitting in jail was part of fulfilling the Lord's plan for him. Eventually an unlikely opportunity presented itself to use his spiritual gifts to assist the Pharoah, and Joseph suddenly found himself governor of Egypt. At this point, maybe some of the events of his life were starting to make more sense. If he had entertained despairing thoughts during his prison sentence, Joseph probably looked back now with a wish that he hadn't wasted time worrying about his future. He should have known and trusted that the Lord would ultimately deliver him.
Finally, Joseph's brothers arrive seeking his help, bowing down at his feet as the dreams foretold. Now the reasons for Joseph's slavery and prison time become perfectly clear. When Joseph reveals himself to his brothers, he tells them, "be not grieved, nor angry with yourselves, that ye sold me hither; for God did send me before you to preserve life...And God sent me before you to preserve you a posterity in the earth, and to save your lives by a great deliverance. So now it was not you that sent me hither, but God."[4] Not only did God have a plan for Joseph, but God had a plan for the entire House of Israel in which Joseph was to play an indispensible role.
What strikes me most about this story is that the trials Joseph faced were not just the result of men being allowed to exercise their agency, not just tests of Joseph's faith and obedience, and not just learning opportunities for Joseph. What looked at the time like obstacles in Joseph's life turned out to be key events leading to fulfillment of Joseph's special calling. Like Joseph, I have often looked back on events in my life that didn't make much sense at the time to discover that they were key events in the Lord's plan for my life. If only I had been more faithful at the time, I would have avoided so much worry and stress.
I'd like to share four principles suggested by Joseph's story that might help you avoid some unnecessary worry as you seek to fulfill the Lord's special purpose for your life.
Principle #1: Draw upon all of your spiritual resources
We've been given abundant spiritual resources to help us find and fulfill our life's purpose. They include, among others, the Gift of the Holy Ghost, scriptures, temple worship, meaningful prayer, and inspired leaders and friends. One way the Lord gives us some very clear direction is through our patriarchal blessings. When I received mine as a teenager, I remember getting the distinct impression as it was given that I would not serve a full-time mission as a young woman. Nothing in the blessing specifically said that, but the impression was clear. I was a little disappointed, but happily thought it must mean I would be married by the time I reached mission age, ready to start the large family I'd dreamed of. A few years later when I turned 21 and was not married, I decided it was time to find out if I should submit mission papers. I had one semester of school and an internship yet to go. As I prayed about my decision, I was reminded that I had been given an answer six years ago when I received my patriarchal blessing. I felt slightly chastened for asking the Lord for an answer I'd already received. Turn with me to D&C 3:4. We read, "For although a man may have many revelations, and have power to do many mighty works, yet if he boasts in his own strength, and sets at naught the counsels of God, and follows after the dictates of his own will and carnal desires, he must fall and incur the vengeance of a just God upon him." If we want God to guide our path, we have to recognize and act on the direction He gives, even if it's not to our liking.
Once I accepted the answer I had received, I was quickly rewarded with an internship opportunity in Alabama where I could live with my grandparents. I spent a semester getting to know grandparents who I had only seen about once a year while growing up. The week before I left, I helped Grandma take Grandpa to the doctor to check out some pains he was experiencing. About two months later, Grandpa passed away from liver failure. I had not been given the opportunity to wear a missionary badge, but I spent three valuable months with my non-member grandfather that no full-time missionary could have had. The Lord knew when I was 15 what my mission call would be.
Sister Bonnie Parkin teaches that the Lord's plan for each of us includes a personal mission to minister to God's children. She quotes President Kimball who states:
Remember, in the world before we came here, faithful women were given certain assignments while faithful men were foreordained to certain priesthood tasks. While we do not now remember the particulars, this does not alter the glorious reality of what we once agreed to. You are accountable for those things which long ago were expected of you just as are those we sustain as prophets and apostles![5]
Sister Parkin explains:
How can we know what was entrusted to us at that time? As we accept callings and love and obey the Lord, our personal ministry unfolds. It is a sacred and precious thing. It embraces the people who come and go across the path of our life. It extends beyond our temporary callings as presidents, counselors, secretaries, teachers, and so on. It is illuminated by our patriarchal blessings. And while each of our ministries is unique, they allow us to become extensions of the Lord's love.[6]
Joseph had a personal ministry that included saving Egypt and his own family from famine. Through Joseph, the Lord extended His love to the House of Israel. We may not have the chance to save an entire people from famine, but we will have opportunities to save souls and to "lift up the hands that hang down."[7]
Principle #2: Endure faithfully knowing that God will deliver you
My Book of Mormon teacher at BYU suggested that the thesis statement of the Book of Mormon is set forth in 1 Nephi 1:20: "But behold, I, Nephi, will show unto you that the tender mercies of the Lord are over all those whom he hath chosen, because of their faith, to make them mighty even unto the power of deliverance." Beginning with Lehi's family, The Book of Mormon provides one example after another of the Lord making his children mighty unto deliverance. Our own lives offer further proof. When we come to the end of the Book of Mormon and remember, as Moroni admonishes, "how merciful the Lord hath been unto the children of men"[8], our testimony that the Lord has always delivered his people "from the creation of Adam even down until the time that ye shall receive these things" confirms that the Lord will also deliver us if we but have faith in Him. This does not mean, of course, that there will always appear to be a happy ending in this lifetime.
We have heard repeatedly on this campus the doctrine taught by Joseph Smith that faith is "the principle of action in intelligent beings"[9] and that we are agents who must act rather than be acted upon.[10] Deliverance does not simply occur while we sit around waiting for things to happen. Turn with me to D&C 58:27: "Verily I say, men should be anxiously engaged in a good cause, and do many things of their own free will, and bring to pass much righteousness."
When my friend Leslie graduated single from BYU, she started working on a PhD at Wake Forest University in Winston-Salem, North Carolina. There was no young single adult ward in Winston-Salem. Instead, there were two wards, each with a small group of five to ten young singles. And, of course, most were female. The possibility of finding a husband under such circumstances didn't seem especially promising. To make matters worse, Leslie's field of study required her to spend four to seven months out of the year on a (literally) desert and deserted island doing research with about three other scientists. During one of her research trips, a tour boat wrecked near the island. The tourists were evacuated, but a couple of young men were sent to watch the boat. And--you guessed it--one of them got to be friends with Leslie, accepted a Book of Mormon, went home, took the discussions, was baptized, and to make a long story short, was sealed to Leslie about a year later. They now have a two-year-old and are expecting another baby shortly. I don't think anyone expects to meet their spouse on a desert island--neither did Leslie. She's glad she didn't wait around after her college graduation, hoping for her dream man to show up. She moved forward doing productive things with her life that eventually led her to fulfill parts of the Lord's plan for her. Being anxiously engaged eventually led her to being happily engaged.
Now, lawyers like disclaimers, so allow me to include one here: The important thing about Leslie's story is not that she found a husband. God's plan for Leslie could have just as easily included life as a righteous single woman. The important thing about Leslie's story is that she sought for and discovered God's will for her by working hard and seeking His guidance.
Principle #3 Seek to find God's will by understanding the pattern for personal revelation
God will deliver us as he did Joseph of Egypt. But, like Joseph, we will not know the full plan from the beginning. During college, I recall a friend who faced a difficult decision asking, "why can't we just get an email from heaven telling us what to do?" It might go something like this: Dear Ann, Don't worry about dating Bob, Fred, or Stan; focus on studying biology for now; watch for Ted in dental school at State College University. Marry him and make plans for 3 boys and 2 girls. Wouldn't that be nice! We may laugh, but I think sometimes we expect revelation to be nearly this direct.
A few years ago Elder Bednar taught BYU-Idaho students:
Let me suggest that many of us typically assume we will receive an answer or a prompting to our earnest prayers and pleadings. And we also frequently expect that such an answer or a prompting will come immediately and all at once. Thus, we tend to believe the Lord will give us A BIG ANSWER QUICKLY AND ALL AT ONE TIME. However, the pattern repeatedly described in the scriptures suggests we receive "line upon line, precept upon precept," or in other words, MANY SMALL ANSWERS OVER A PERIOD OF TIME. Recognizing and understanding this pattern is an important key to obtaining inspiration and help from the Holy Ghost.[11]
I have heard attributed to Elder Packer the teaching that revelation typically comes as a conclusion, not as an explanation. Thus, you may feel directed away from a particular major without any idea why. In fact, you may feel prompted to avoid that major without any idea at the time which major you should choose. Furthermore, these conclusions we receive come incrementally, as Elder Bednar taught. You will need additional "small answers over a period of time" to discover the field of study that will set you in the Lord's direction for you.
Joseph's experience follows this pattern. Elder Perry has noted that even the idolatrous Pharoah recognized Joseph's spiritual gifts because "It was easy to recognize the special spirit in him because of the way he lived and heeded the voice of the Lord to direct him."[12]
Have you ever worked on a big jigsaw puzzle? You have what seems like an endless supply of these little pieces that all look about the same. First you turn over all the pieces and look for the edge pieces and corners. Once you find the corners, you can start putting the edges together to create a framework, then you go about the tedious process of searching for the middle pieces that fit together. It is much easier to figure out how to put them together when you look at the finished picture on the box. Our lives are a little like a jigsaw puzzle. The Lord has the finished picture on the box, but we don't. We can begin turning pieces over and putting in place the corners and edges that make up the framework already revealed to us through the words of prophets, ancient and modern. Then we might start to guess at how the middle pieces should go together. If we get our mind set on the picture we envision, we may completely miss the picture the Lord intends. Although we can do much to discover which pieces fit where, we need His guidance to complete the picture. As we work on the puzzle and struggle trying pieces together for a fit, He guides us as he helps us see a fit here or there that we hadn't noticed before. Occasionally He will show us that an entire section of the puzzle fits at the top of the picture, not at the bottom as we had imagined. Then we keep working.
Principle #4: Trust in the Lord and in all thy ways acknowledge him
Turn to Proverbs 3:5-6: "Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths."
When I graduated from law school, I felt like I should move back to the West. I researched various cities and decided on Portland or Seattle. I felt good about this choice and went to work applying for an internship that would hopefully lead to a job. West Coast firms were not recruiting at Wake Forest, but I was determined. While my friends were interviewing constantly with firms on campus, I was getting rejection letters. A Seattle lawyer explained to me that firms weren't interested in having East Coast students spend the summer interning only to return to a permanent job in the East. After saving 50 rejection letters, I just started throwing them away. Still undeterred, I flew to Seattle for my fall break on my meager student budget. I hand delivered resumes to law firms all over the city. My main memory of that trip is of sobbing in my hotel room, feeling discouraged, overwhelmed, and lonely in a big city filled with fancy lawyers who didn't want to hire me. Perhaps Joseph felt similarly when he arrived as a slave in Egypt. I prayed that I would have the courage to keep trying and that I would find the job the Lord had in mind for me. As I concluded the trip, I found much to be grateful for: I had overcome a number of fears and realized I could do things like figure out a city bus system on my own.
About the time I decided I had been rejected by every firm I'd applied to, and maybe even a few others, I got a call from the recruiter at a Portland firm asking if I'd be willing to drive to another North Carolina school to interview the following day. The interview went well, and the firm flew me to Portland for a longer round of interviews. The next week I got a call offering me the internship. I was ecstatic. The lawyer who called asked if I could please let them know within two weeks whether I'd be accepting. I was afraid to say that of course I would accept, I had no other options, so I called back with my acceptance a few days later. In hindsight, I realized this was probably the law firm I would have chosen to work for even if I had faced a large pile of job offers instead of rejection letters. However, the choice would have been difficult and confusing for a person who agonizes over a choice between ice cream flavors.
Turn with me now to Isaiah 55: 8-9. "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts." When we're being guided to put puzzle pieces together that don't seem likely to fit, we have to remember that we can only see parts of the puzzle while the Lord is looking at the complete picture.
As thrilled as I was to have landed a great job in Portland, I started working as a business lawyer without any real preparation to work in that area of law. I did minor in business (let me emphasize minor), and I didn't even take some of the fundamental business law courses in law school. But when I went to work, business was booming (this was before the dot.com crash), and my firm needed corporate lawyers. So I went to work. It was clear to me that the Lord had led me to this job at this time in my life. I remember thinking to myself as I tried to catch a short nap on my office floor after a long work night, what could this possibly have to do with my life's purpose?
A few years later when I felt led, even called, to teach at BYU-Idaho, it was truly a miracle that a job became available for which I could qualify. The job description asked for applicants with experience practicing business law as well as the ability to teach a business communications course. The time I spent practicing corporate law along with my undergraduate degree in communications allowed me to meet the minimum qualifications. The Lord wanted me to be here, and He knew that back when I was choosing a major as an undergraduate, when I was deciding to go to law school, and when I wound up practicing corporate law. It was all part of a master plan that I could only understand in hindsight. Like Joseph, I could look back and say with confidence, "for God did send me." Now I only wish I had been more faithful during the process. If I had trusted more fully that the Lord was guiding me, I would have better appreciated my time working in the business world; I would have been a better lawyer because I would have been more focused; and I wouldn't have wasted time worrying about my future.
Elder Richard G. Scott taught:
The Lord has placed currents of divine influence in your life that will lead you along the individual plan He would have you fulfill here on earth. Seek through the Spirit to identify it and carefully follow that direction that the Lord has put in your life.... Oh, how I would encourage you to weave deeply into the fabric of your soul the recognition that your life now is a part of a much bigger plan the Lord has for you. You lived part of it in the premortal existence. You were valiant there and came here because you wanted to grow and enjoy greater happiness. What you decide to do now will affect how well you fulfill that divine, personal plan He has for you.[13]
I am still discovering the divine, personal plan the Lord has for me as I treasure up the moments I spend with my little family that seemed so long in coming. May we all make the choices now that will allow us to grow and enjoy greater happiness as we apply the four principles: Principle #1: Draw upon all of your spiritual resources, #2 Endure faithfully knowing that God will deliver you, #3 Seek to find God's will by understanding the pattern for personal revelation, and #4: Trust in the Lord and in all thy ways acknowledge him.
Notes:
[1] William Damon, The Path to Purpose: Helping Our Children Find Their Calling in Life, Free Press 2008
[2] H. Burke Peterson, "Your Life Has a Purpose," New Era, May 1979, 4
[3] Gen. 39:21
[4] Gen. 45:5,7-8
[5] Spencer W. Kimball, "The Role of Righteous Women," Ensign, November 1979, 102
[6] Bonnie D. Parkin, "Personal Ministry: Sacred and Precious," Brigham Young University Devotional, Feb. 13, 2007
[7] Heb. 12:12
[8] Mor 10:3
[9] Lectures on Faith [1985], 1
[10] Elder David A. Bednar, "Ask in Faith," Ensign May 2008, 95
[11] "...Line Upon Line, Precept Upon Precept..." 2 Nephi 28:30, Elder David A. Bednar, Brigham Young University-Idaho Devotional, September 11, 2001
[12] Elder L. Tom Perry, "Becoming Men in Whom the Spirit of God Is," Ensign, May 2002, 39
[13] Elder Richard G. Scott "He Lives," Ensign, Nov 1999, 87