Students, staff, and faculty, my brothers and sisters, my friends, it is inspiring to be with you today. I would like to start by testifying of the immense love that our Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ have for you. Part of my witness comes from my own experiences in preparing for this devotional. When I was asked to speak, I began praying to know what to share with you. The response was quick and confirmed over and over. I know God loves you and is aware of each of you. I pray that the Holy Ghost will inspire you, individually, to learn what you personally need.
I completed my graduate work at Texas A&M University, where I studied asphalt pavements. So, naturally, my wife and kids know more about asphalt than they ever could have imagined.
One of the first projects I studied in my career was a pavement failure in Parley’s Canyon, just east of Salt Lake City on Interstate 80. The road had been paved with asphalt in the fall and was now, in the spring, starting to rut and fail. We were charged with finding the cause. To do this, we took cores from the pavement. This, however, is what we found. The black binder that holds it all together had separated from the aggregate, or the rocks and sand, in a process called “stripping.” This resulted in little support for the trucks that were traveling down this canyon at around 70 miles per hour!
Stripping occurs when water gets between the binder and the aggregate. The aggregate has a stronger attraction to the water than the binder. Since there is nothing to bind the aggregate together, the structure of the pavement fails, and it can no longer hold significant loads.
Love is like the binder in an asphalt mix. It holds us together, allowing us to carry heavier loads than we could alone. The Prophet Joseph Smith said, “It is a time-honored adage that love begets love … Friendship is like Brother Turley in his blacksmith shop welding iron to iron; it unites the human family with its happy influence.” [1]
Just like welding iron to iron, love binds us together. However, if hatred, contention, anger, contempt, or indifference are allowed to consume us, they can strip love from our hearts, leaving us vulnerable as individuals and as a society.
In our most recent general conference, our beloved prophet, President Russel M. Nelson, said, “Anger never persuades. Hostility builds no one. Contention never leads to inspired solutions … Hateful words are deadly weapons. Contention prevents the Holy Ghost from being our constant companion.” [2]
Charity, or “the pure love of Christ,” [3] on the other hand, “suffereth long, and is kind, and envieth not, and is not puffed up, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil, and rejoiceth not in iniquity but rejoiceth in the truth, beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.” [4]
How do we avoid stripping love from our hearts? May I suggest two areas that we can focus on to increase love in our lives:
- Learn to love ourselves
- Learn to love others at BYU-Idaho
Learning to love ourselves and others at BYU-Idaho will then lead to loving others in the world.
First, we must learn to love ourselves.
Before you can mix all the ingredients of an asphalt pavement together, you have to prepare the aggregate. If the aggregate has any water surrounding it, the binder will not adhere to it. To remove the water, the aggregate is conveyed through a furnace until it is completely dry.
For us to truly become a part of a community of love, we must remove the things from our lives that prevent us from feeling and sharing love. This is sometimes easier said than done and requires work and effort on our part.
It’s hard to love or be loved when we are angry, contentious, or when we judge those around us, so how do we overcome this? For me, it is a lifelong pursuit, but here are a few things I have found helpful.
First, know and accept that you are a child of God who loves you. Some of you may wonder about or even doubt His love for you, but I assure you that He does love you. Difficult things will and do happen in our lives, but it is, by no means, evidence of a lack of love. On the contrary, it is strong evidence of his love!
Elder James B. Martino of the Seventy said, “Our Heavenly Father, who loves us completely and perfectly, permits us to have experiences that will allow us to develop the traits and attributes we need to become more and more Christlike. Our trials come in many forms, but each will allow us to become more like the Savior as we learn to recognize the good that comes from each experience.” [5]
The Lord promised the Saints who were being persecuted in Missouri that “all things wherewith you have been afflicted shall work together for your good, and to my name’s glory.” [6]
One of the greatest challenges in my life was the loss of my son, Michael, who died in an accident when he was two-and-a-half years old. It was a difficult experience for my family, and we still deal with the pain of our separation from him. But the Lord has taught, helped, and strengthened me in immeasurable ways. My testimony of eternal families is strong, and I look forward to being reunited with Michael. While it has been a difficult life experience, over the years, it has shown me in countless ways how much my Heavenly Father loves me. I would not be the disciple I am today, nor would I be here at BYU-Idaho, without that experience, and I am grateful for God’s tender mercies toward me.
Gratitude is another tool that will help you to love who you are. When we are grateful, it enhances our ability to see the good in our lives. We begin to more readily recognize God’s love for us, and when we know God loves us, it is much easier to love ourselves.
Remember, my friends, that “the worth of souls is great in the sight of God.” [7] This means you! You are loved! So much so “that he gave his only begotten Son” [8] for you.
Now, this is an ongoing process. Be patient with yourself and practice. It will get better and easier. As my mission president, Jack Lake, used to tell me, “You need to stop being so hard on yourself!”
As you learn to love who you are, you can begin reaching out and loving others. I hope you all know the mission of BYU-Idaho, but just in case, here it is. Would you all please read this with me? “[The mission of BYU-Idaho] is to develop disciples of Jesus Christ who are leaders in their homes, the Church, and their communities.” [9]
While there are many ways we could define what it means to be a disciple of Jesus Christ, Jesus taught us that there is a way we can know who His disciples are when He taught His Apostles, “By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.” [10]
In the most recent general conference, Elder Michael B. Strong said, “To be the Lord’s disciples, we must intentionally imitate His thoughts and actions every day … Of all the many divine attributes of Jesus Christ we are to emulate, one stands preeminent and embodies all others. That attribute is His pure love, or charity.”
Have you ever watched the First Presidency and the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles before, during, or after a session of general conference? Watch this tender example of then-Elder Nelson supporting his fellow quorum member, Joseph B. Wirthlin, during the October 2007 general conference.
While you watch, also note the message: “The means of this refinement is our Christlike love. There is no pain it cannot soften, no bitterness it cannot remove, no hatred it cannot alter. The Greek playwright Sophocles wrote, ‘One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: That word is love.’ The most cherished and sacred moments of our lives are those filled with the spirit of love. The greater the measure of our love, the greater is our joy. In the end, the development of such love is the true measure of success in life.” [11]
Did you catch what Elder Wirthlin was speaking about? Love. I know of no greater example of a group of people on the earth today unified in love than the Apostles of the Lord Jesus Christ. When you witness their love, is there any doubt that they are true disciples?
We, too, should be constantly striving to reach a new level of love and charity here at BYU-Idaho. Our love, kindness, and compassion are a hallmark of who we are!
When creating new asphalt pavement designs, we often create test strips on isolated tracks where we simulate millions of loadings on the pavement in a short period of time. This allows us to determine if the design will hold up to the traffic it could experience in a real application.
BYU-Idaho is our discipleship test track, where we can all learn and grow in our testimonies and commitment to Jesus Christ. In fact, Elder David A. Bednar described BYU-Idaho as a Disciple Preparation Center. [12] As such, this becomes a place where we can practice showing love in a safe environment. A place where we can see the effects of love on communities large and small, from our program communities and our college communities, all the way to the university community and everything in between. This is where our individual efforts can change the community as a whole!
I already see this in many ways here at BYU-Idaho: the student who smiles and says hello to others as they walk across campus, and the faculty who leave their doors open to the students and give their precious time to serve them. People holding doors for one another, waiting at the crosswalk to give some vehicles the opportunity to go by, helping and serving each other in the classroom, and noticing someone who is having a bad day and stopping to see how they are doing. Notice that in all these situations, the individual looks beyond their own needs to put the needs of others first.
There are times when our own needs have to be met, but perhaps, even in these instances, these times when we have to make a choice, we can make that choice out of love. But how do we do that? How can eating a cinnamon roll (something I really enjoy) be done with love?
When the Pharisees asked Jesus which was the great commandment, Jesus responded, “Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.” [13]
If the choices we make meet these two conditions, we can be confident that our choices are out of love. So how can I apply this to eating a cinnamon roll?
First, I ponder on the question, “How does eating this cinnamon roll show my love of God?” While eating my cinnamon roll, I could show love to God by being grateful for my sense of taste and smell, and the world around me that provides the ingredients.
Second, “How does eating this cinnamon roll show my love to others?” I could show love to others by being grateful to the person who took the time to prepare it and share it with someone else.
However, if I eat two cinnamon rolls, perhaps I’ve overstepped what is good for my body, and I selfishly took something that could have been shared with others. As you can see, I’m still working on this one.
Jesus taught us that if we want to show our love for Him, we should keep His commandments. [14] The second commandment is to love our neighbor. So, by loving others, we are also keeping the first and great commandment! Isn’t that interesting how that works? If we want to keep the first commandment, we must keep the second!
The Apostle Paul taught this to the Romans in this way: “Owe no man any thing, but to love one another: for he that loveth another hath fulfilled the law. For this, Thou shalt not commit adultery, Thou shalt not kill, Thou shalt not steal, Thou shalt not bear false witness, Thou shalt not covet; and if there be any other commandment, it is briefly comprehended in this saying, namely, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. Love worketh no ill to his neighbour: therefore love is the fulfilling of the law.” [15]
Now, in our pursuit of perfect, Christlike love, there are always areas where we can improve. Remember to be kind to others in their spiritual journey. My dad used to read stories to us when we were kids. One of my favorites was the fable of The North Wind and The Sun. [16]
The north wind and the sun were arguing about who was the strongest. They saw a man wearing a coat walking through the countryside. The north wind suggested that whoever could get the man to remove the coat would prove to be strongest. The north wind went first and blew and blew and blew, trying to blow the coat off the man. But the harder he blew, the more the man just pulled his coat on tighter. Finally, the north wind gave up, and the man continued, still wearing his coat. The sun then took his turn. He gently shone brightly down upon the man. Soon, the man became hot and took the coat off himself. The moral of this story is that persuasion is better than force.
In the Doctrine and Covenants we read, “No power or influence can or ought to be maintained by virtue of the priesthood, only by persuasion, by long-suffering, by gentleness and meekness, and by love unfeigned; By kindness, and pure knowledge, which shall greatly enlarge the soul without hypocrisy, and without guile.” [17]
Please be careful with your corrections of others, whether it’s regarding the dress and grooming standards, the Honor Code, or the commandments. The damage we may do through force may take years to repair; rather, be a kind example with gentle reminders. If correction is absolutely required, be sure they know you love them, the reason behind the correction, and the consequences of their actions. (President Meredith provided a beautiful example of this in his opening devotional this semester.) Then allow them to make their own choice. You will do more by taking them by the hand, having them walk with you, than by pushing from behind. The bonds I have with others who have done this for me are some of the strongest in my lifetime.
Now I know that there are some of you out there today who are thinking, “Why should I show love for other people when no one has shown love to me?” I get it! That’s a tough spot to be in, and one I’ve been in myself, but I promise that if you can set that thought aside and reach out to others with love, you will begin to feel and recognize the love others have for you.
My brothers and sisters, we can change the world! Just as hatred and contention spread darkness, isolation, and loneliness, love can spread light, connection, and understanding. Love is contagious.
Please take some time to evaluate how you can show more love. Don’t be afraid to express it to others. Saying, “I love you,” doesn’t have to mean, “Will you marry me?” It is an expression of our deep connection and commitment. I love my wife, Melinda, and my children. I love my family. But I also love my friends, colleagues, and students. And I love you! I don’t have to know the details of your life to express that! You are my sisters and brothers. You are my family, and I am yours. We are all, both here and around the world, each other’s.
It is possible to love everyone. God does it, and aren’t we all striving to become like Him? May we make choices based on our love of God and our love for our neighbors. May we forgive each other of our faults. May we remember that Christ has paid the price for all of that already. It is simply our job to love, and we will be blessed with peace, joy, and increased love for it.
Joseph Smith stated, “Let us pour forth love—show forth our kindness unto all mankind, and the Lord will reward us with everlasting increase; cast our bread upon the waters and we shall receive it after many days, increased to a hundredfold.” [18]
As a final emphasis on our mission, “By this shall all men know that ye [the people at BYU-Idaho] are [his] disciples, if ye have love one to another.” [19] In the name of Jesus Christ, whose pure love we strive to emulate, amen.
Notes
[1] Joseph Fielding Smith, Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith, 1938, 532.
[2] Russell M. Nelson, “Peacemakers Needed,” Liahona, May 2025.
[3] Moroni 7:47.
[4] Moroni 7:46.
[5] James B. Martino, “All Things Work Together for Good,”Ensign, May 2010, 101.
[6] Doctrine and Covenants 98:3.
[7] Doctrine and Covenants 18:10.
[8] John 3:16.
[9] BYU-Idaho Mission Statement.
[10] John 13:35.
[11] Joseph B. Wirthlin, “The Great Commandment,” Ensign or Liahona, Nov 2007.
[12] David A. Bednar, “Brigham Young University-Idaho: A Disciple Preparation Center,” BYU-Idaho Speeches, Aug. 31, 2004.
[13] Matthew 22:37–40.
[14] See John 14:15.
[15] Romans 13:8–10.
[16] “The North Wind and The Sun,” Fables of Aesop.
[17] Doctrine and Covenants 121:41–44.
[18] History of the Church, 5:517.
[19] John 13:35.