My dear brothers and sisters, it is with great humility and respect that I approach this pulpit. I pray for the Spirit to be with us today--that I may successfully portray the feelings of my heart and that you may hear what the Lord would have you hear. Know too that it is an absolute honor and privilege for me to be able to stand and bear testimony of Heavenly Father, Jesus Christ, latter-day prophets and apostles, and of the divinity of this church, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
I would like to address my remarks to those who feel frustrated and overwhelmed, who are searching for faith and comfort. I desire to reassure you that Heavenly Father lives and that He loves you dearly.
I would like to set the stage for my remarks by reading to you a few questions, the answers to which I hope will become evident as I proceed through my address. Think of these questions as if you were asking them yourself:
Question #1: Why does Heavenly Father allow me to suffer?
Question #2: I'm doing my very best; why do I struggle so much?
Question #3: Doesn't Heavenly Father love me?
Question #4: How can I find peace in my life and become like Heavenly Father and enjoy what He enjoys?
Have you ever asked yourself any of these questions? Are you entertaining any of these questions now? If you are, rest assured that most people have contemplated these very questions, including me. Let me illustrate by sharing with you the following tragic event that happened to me when I was three or four years old. It happened on a peaceful day when my older brother and I were milling around the backyard, looking for something to do. My brother came upon the idea of exploring my father's cupboard in the garage that was, by the way, strictly off limits. I reluctantly followed my brother into the garage and watched as he climbed upon the workbench and pulled the stick from the latch on the cupboard.
As he opened the cupboard door, he quickly located the test tubes of chemicals that my father kept there. I began to feel very uneasy and ran for the back door of our house. Unfortunately, the back door to our house was difficult to open. And weighing a mere 40 or 50 lb., there wasn't a chance that I was going to get it opened. I cried out to my mother while pounding on the door, but she, at that very moment, was vacuuming the floor and was not able to hear me.
After a few moments, I resolved to return to the garage to see what my brother was doing. He had, while I was away, secured a test tube, climbed down from the workbench, and removed the tube's lid. He motioned for me to come and smell its contents. I reluctantly moved forward. As I drew near to him, he--not knowing the bottle was filled with dangerous acid--threw it on me. I was badly burned and rushed to the hospital. I still vividly remember the ambulance ride. My mother later said that she had never heard a child scream so loudly. I ended up spending many days in bed, wrapped in white bandages. And I still carry the scars of those burns to this day.
That was a traumatic experience in my life, one that was followed by a number of others. Time will not permit me to relate those. Nevertheless, it is sufficient to say that I seemed to be a magnet for tragic events. And many times I have had the occasion of crying out to Heavenly Father for comfort and for answers. Let me share with you some of the things I have learned. I hope that you will find them helpful.
First, understand that agency is a fundamental principle of life and of Heavenly Father's plan for us.
Agency is vital to our personal development and feelings of joy. Understand too that with agency comes some amount of volatility and, of course, some bumps and bruises. Misfortunes will happen as we live and as we interact with others, and Heavenly Father is not going to step in and control every situation. Surely, a wise and loving father would not do that. To be overly controlling would rob His children of freedom, individuality, and personal development.
As stated by President Spencer W. Kimball:
If all the sick for whom we pray were healed, if all the righteous were protected and the wicked destroyed, the whole program of the Father would be annulled and the basic principle of the gospel, free agency, would be ended....
Should all prayers be immediately answered according to our selfish desires and our limited understanding, then there would be little or no suffering, sorrow, disappointment, or even death, and if these were not, there would also be no joy, success, resurrection, nor eternal life and godhood.[1]
Here's the bottom line: You cannot have godhood without agency, and you cannot have agency without some amount of volatility, misfortune, and pain.
Not many of us can remember the time in our lives when we took our first steps. But surely, as we learned to walk, we had a few falls. And when we fell, we had a loving father or mother there to comfort, teach, and encourage us.
(Now, think of the eternal parallels.) In time, we learned to walk without falling and experienced a new level of freedom. If our parents had spared us from falling, we likely would not have learned to walk. This same principle applies to our eternal development. Please know that Heavenly Father is not going to spare us from every tragedy, especially if we stubbornly pursue unwise and unhealthy courses. But know too that He will be there to comfort, teach, and encourage us and help us to develop into beings like Him.
Reflect on these instructive words from the hymn "I Am a Child of God":
Lead me, guide me, walk beside me, (Note: It does not say, "do it for me," or "take away all of my trials," or "solve all of my problems.")
Help me find the way.
Teach me all that I must do
To live with him someday. (And may I add "to live like him someday.")[2]
Surely, bumps and bruises will come. But that will not be a sign that our Heavenly Father does not exist or does not love us. He does exist and will be there for us and will comfort, teach, and encourage us and help us to develop into beings like Him. Of this I bear my solemn witness.
Second, understand that problems in our lives come from a variety of sources--and that most of these are not directly from Heavenly Father.
True, at times they may come directly from Him. But, in my experience, they usually don't. They usually come from other sources. They may come from our physical weaknesses, genetic makeup, or temperament. They may come from the culture or environment in which we were raised. They may come from occurrences of nature, such as a forest fire or a snowstorm. They may come from our own choices. They may come from the choices of others. Regardless of the source, Heavenly Father can help us to discover and overcome these problems. As stated by the Book of Mormon prophet Ether: "And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble, and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them."[3]
Again, as I stated before, Heavenly Father does exist and will be there for us and will comfort, teach, and encourage us and help us develop into beings like Him. Be especially careful not to blame Him for all of the problems in your life. Be careful not to foster a spirit of bitterness, negativity, and skepticism and openly or subtly fight against Him, the very source of your relief. Not only would that approach be extremely unproductive; it is not right. If your life is filled with bitterness toward God, now is the time to address it. Humble yourself, have courage, trust that He loves you, and ask Him to teach you.
As so aptly expressed by the great prophet Nephi, "And it came to pass that I, Nephi, being exceedingly young, nevertheless being large in stature, and also having great desires to know the mysteries of God, wherefore, I did cry unto the Lord; and behold he did visit me, and did soften my heart that I did believe all the words which had been spoken by my father; wherefore, I did not rebel against him like unto my brothers."[4] Heavenly Father really can help us create a wonderful life as we ask for and follow His counsel.
Third, understand that the process of becoming like Heavenly Father takes time.
It is not going to happen instantly. God is not going to wave a magic wand over your head and resolve all of the problems in your life. Not only would that rob you of your agency and personal development, but it would rob others of their agency and growth. Understand that it takes time and effort to create a life like God's--to think as He thinks, do as He does, and enjoy what He enjoys. While there are many things that He will help us to resolve in our lives straightway, most of the problems in our lives will not be resolved the very day we pray about them.
As so beautifully stated by Elder Orson F. Whitney:
No pain that we suffer, no trial that we experience is wasted. It ministers to our education, to the development of such qualities as patience, faith, fortitude, and humility. All that we suffer and all that we endure, especially when we endure it patiently, builds up our characters, purifies our hearts, expands our souls, and makes us more tender and charitable, more worthy to be called the children of God ... and it is through sorrow and suffering, toil and tribulation, that we gain the education that we come here to acquire and which will make us more like our Father and Mother in heaven.[5]
The prophet Joseph Smith expressed it this way: "I am like a huge, rough stone rolling down from a high mountain; and the only polishing I get is when some corner gets rubbed off by coming in contact with something else."[6]
Remember, the process of becoming like Heavenly Father takes time. It is not going to happen instantly. It takes time and effort to create a life like His--to think as He thinks, do as He does, and enjoy what He enjoys.
Fourth, understand that you may have to be patient and just "make do" for a time. You may not get life just the way you want it.
Life may not deal you the cards that you like. (Believe me, I know this.) Understand that you may have to just cope with the problem before you and progress as best you can. Remember, the test of life is not in what cards you have in your hand but how you play the hand that you've been given. Work with the problem at hand, ask for the help and inspiration of heaven, do the very best you can, and move forward.
Reflect again on the words of a hymn, this one titled "Though Deepening Trials," with text written by Eliza R. Snow:
Though deepening trials throng your way,
Press on, press on, ye Saints of God!
Ere long the resurrection day,
Will spread its life and truth abroad,
Though outward ills await us here,
The time, at longest, is not long
Ere Jesus Christ will reappear,
Surrounded by a glorious throng,
Lift up your hearts in praise to God;
Let your rejoicings never cease.
Though tribulations rage abroad,
Christ says, "In me ye shall have peace."[7]
Fifth, understand that trials can, if we allow them to, help us develop and feel compassion, love, and joy.
Don't bemoan the challenges of mortality. There is so much that can be gained by experiencing challenges, solving problems, and facing opposition. One of my favorite quotes regarding this idea comes from President Brigham Young. It reads:
There is not, has not been, and never can be any method, scheme, or plan devised by any being in this world for intelligence to exist eternally and obtain an exaltation, without knowing the good and the evil--without tasting the bitter and the sweet. Can the people understand that it is actually necessary for opposite principles to be placed before them, or this state of being would be no probation, and we should have no opportunity for exercising the agency given us? Can they understand that we cannot obtain eternal life unless we actually know and comprehend by our experience the principle of good and the principle of evil, the light and the darkness, truth, virtue, and holiness--also vice, wickedness, and corruption? We must discern and acknowledge that the provinces of the Lord are over all the works of his hands--that when he produces intelligent beings he watches over them for their good. He has given human beings an intelligence designed to become eternal, self-existent, independent, and as Godlike as any being in the heavens. To answer such design, we are given our agency--the control of our belief, and must know the darkness from the light and the light from the darkness, and must taste the bitter as well as the sweet.[8]
The stretching and often painful experiences of mortality can be such a tremendous blessing in our lives. They can help us grow and develop. They can expand us and enlarge our capacity to feel the sweet feelings of love. They give us the opportunity to feel the love and compassion of our Father in Heaven and to develop a meaningful relationship with Him. And they give us the opportunity to reach out and love and serve our fellow brothers and sisters on this earth. Ultimately, trials give us an opportunity to express and have expressed to us the sweet feelings of love, compassion, and connectedness for which we truly long.
Last, understand that Heavenly Father is there to assist you, to comfort you, and to love you.
Please know that He is there. Just because your problems aren't resolved instantly--or you don't get help in the way you think you should--does not mean that He is not there and not helping you. Also, understand that His assistance may come to you in a variety of ways. Don't expect an angel (in the traditional sense) to answer all of your prayers. Heavenly Father can communicate with you and assist you in more ways than that. Assistance from Him may come in the form of a book or an article that you feel prompted to read. It may come in the form of a hymn. It may come in the form of a miraculously coordinated event in your life, where things seem to be guided by heaven itself. It may come in the form of a thought placed in your mind by the Holy Ghost--the Liahona in your head.
Understand too that oftentimes God's assistance will come to us in the form of another person, another one of His earthly children, our fellow brothers and sisters (e.g., through a spouse, son or daughter, daughter-in-law, bishop, friend, neighbor, co-worker, medical doctor, or a licensed counselor). As so beautifully stated by President Spencer W. Kimball: "God does notice us, and he watches over us. But it is usually through another person that he meets our needs."[9] Regardless of the way he communicates with you and assists you, please don't overlook the help He sends that is right before your eyes. Heavenly Father loves you. Please know that Heavenly Father loves you.
In the immortal words of Robert Keen:
Fear not, I am with thee; oh, be not dismayed,
For I am thy God and will still give thee aid.
I'll strengthen thee, help thee, and cause thee to stand,
Upheld by my righteous, ... omnipotent hand.[10]
In closing, may I say my greatest desire is to further Father in Heaven's purposes on this earth. In this ideological war being waged in mortality (having continued from premortality), I proclaim my allegiance to Him. I am on His side. I choose to view things thru His eyes, not the eyes of men's philosophies--as helpful and inspired as some of them may be. I trust Heavenly Father. He has been so good to me, even among my many trials. He has been so loving, such a true friend. I may never be able to repay Him for His goodness, but I will never cease in honoring and loving Him for the blessings that He has given me.
I have learned, in a very personal way, that Heavenly Father lives and loves us. Please believe--listen to the whisperings of the Spirit to your soul at this very moment--that Heavenly Father knows you and loves you. He is aware of your life and your challenges. Let me say that again. Listen to the whisperings of the Spirit to your soul. Heavenly Father knows you and loves you. He is aware of your life and your challenges. Furthermore, He is there for you, as your friend and guide, to walk beside you and help you to face and overcome the challenges of mortality.
I conclude with the words of the hymn "Be Still, My Soul," which we will be singing for the closing hymn. Please notice how the Lord reassures His children that He is there to help and assist them:
Be still, my soul: The Lord is on thy side;
With patience bear thy cross of grief or pain.
Leave to thy God to order and provide;
In every change he faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul: Thy best, thy heavenly Friend
Thru thorny ways leads to a joyful end.
Be still, my soul: Thy God doth undertake
To guide the future as he has the past.
Thy hope, thy confidence let nothing shake;
All now mysterious shall be bright at last.
Be still, my soul: The waves and winds still know
His voice who ruled them while he dwelt below.
Be still, my soul: The hour is hastening on
When we shall be forever with the Lord,
When disappointment, grief, and fear are gone,
Sorrow forgot, love's purest joys restored.
Be still, my soul: When change and tears are past,
All safe and blessed we shall meet at last.[11]
My dear brothers and sisters, be still. Truly, the Lord is on your side. I bear my testimony that Heavenly Father lives and that His gospel is true. In the sacred and holy name of His Son, Jesus Christ, amen.
Notes
[1] Spencer W. Kimball, Faith Precedes the Miracle (1975), 97; italics added
[2] "I Am a Child of God," Hymns, no. 301; italics added
[3] Ether 12:27; italics added
[4] 1 Nephi 2:16; italics added
[5] As quoted in Spencer W. Kimball, Faith Precedes the Miracle (1972), 98; italics added
[6] Joseph Smith, History of the Church, 5:401
[7] "Though Deepening Trials," Hymns, no. 122
[8] Brigham Young, Journal of Discourses, 7:237-238; italics added
[9] Spencer W. Kimball, "Small Acts of Service," Ensign, Dec. 1974, 5
[10] "How Firm a Foundation," Hymns, no. 85
[11] "Be Still, My Soul," Hymns, no. 124.