Jonah Goldberg, an author and comedian, said, “If hypocrisy were helium, we'd all have funny voices and some would float away.” [1] While I hope my voice doesn’t go super high, I am glad to have my wife close by in case I start to elevate—she’ll just hold on to my suit coat. On a serious note, I am honored to share an important message I believe heaven wants many in this audience to hear, including me.
Elder Matthew Cowley, a former member of the Quorum of Twelve Apostles, said, “The gospel of Jesus Christ is simply beautiful and beautifully simple.” [2]
One of my favorite beautifully simple scriptures is found in 2 Nephi 2:25, which states, “Adam fell that men might be; and men are, that they might have joy.” [3]
Isn’t that beautifully simple? Because Adam fell, we are here. What a great blessing! Oh, and because of the Fall, all of us get to experience all that life offers, challenges of being fallen men and women. We will have times of illness, suffer emotionally, lose loved ones, and deal with disappointment. We will have all sorts of aches from toothaches, backaches, headaches to heartaches. Life will often be hard, and, through this all, we might have joy. Notice the helping verb might, which could be translated to maybe. “Maybe we’ll have joy”—that is not very positive!
So how do we get to joy?
I believe our Heavenly Father has provided a simply beautiful plan for finding both joy and peace and He has always shared this with His children who seek Him. One of my favorite examples of this is the hall-of-fame pro football player Gale Sayers.
Gale played for the University of Kansas, where he earned the nickname the “Kansas Comet.” He gained over 4,000 yards and was a two-time All-American. He was drafted by the Chicago Bears in 1965, and in his rookie year, he scored an NFL record 22 touchdowns and gained 2,272 all-purpose yards. Sadly, in 1968 he suffered a serious knee injury that cost him the final five games of the season. Helping him through this challenge was his fellow running back, Brian Piccolo.
Brian’s path to the NFL was much different than Gale’s. Brian played at Wake Forest, and at that time there was only one African-American player in the ACC—Darryl Hill, who played for Maryland. In 1963 when Maryland visited Wake Forest, the home-team student section began to taunt Darryl Hill. Noticing this, Brian Piccolo went over to the Maryland bench and approached Darryl and said, “I want to apologize for the behavior of my fans. . . . Then, draping his arm over Hill’s shoulder, he began walking him toward the Wake Forest side of the field, where the jeering was at its worst. By the time the two of them reached the middle of the field, the . . . screaming dropped to near silence.” [4] Two years later, Brian signed with the Chicago Bears as an undrafted free agent and made the practice squad.
Gale and Brian were the first interracial roommates in the NFL. While Gale was injured, Brian saw more playing time. Once Sayers returned, they played together as the starting tailback and fullback. After scoring a touchdown against the Atlanta Falcons, Brian pulled himself out of the game, complaining of shortness of breath. A medical examination revealed that he had an aggressive form of cancer that, in spite of surgery and treatment, would spread throughout his body. It was now Gale’s turn to help and serve his friend.
The month before Piccolo's death at the age of 26, Gale Sayers was accepting the George S. Halas Courage Award and told the crowd that they had selected the wrong person. He said, "I love Brian Piccolo and I'd like all of you to love him too. When you hit your knees to pray tonight please ask God to love him too." [5] Brian left behind a wife and three daughters.
Inspired by his friend, Gale wrote his autobiography titled I Am Third, which stands for “God is first, others are second, and I am third.”
This book was the inspiration for the 1971 movie Brian’s Song.
“I am third”—could this be the simple answer to finding joy? Didn’t the Savior Himself teach:
Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.
This is the first and great commandment.
And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. [6]
It is common for us to read these scriptures as if they actually contain three commandments:
- love God (“love the Lord thy God” in scripture)
- love neighbor (“love thy neighbour” in scripture)
- love yourself (“thyself” in scripture)
The Lord did not command us to love ourselves; He just stated that we do. And, this is the exact order of “I am third.”
Let’s return to 2 Nephi 2:25 and the declaration that we “might have joy.” In a recent devotional, Brother Dan Christensen suggested one way to remember this simple instruction is to turn joy into the acronym JOY—which could remind us to put Jesus first, others second, yourself third.
Regarding the value of finding peace through JOY, President Spencer W. Kimball taught:
Daily unselfish service to others is one of the . . . mechanics of the successful life. “For whosoever will save his life,” the Galilean said, “shall lose it, and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it.” What a strange paradox this! And yet one needs only to analyze it to be convinced of its truth. . . .
Only when you lift a burden, God will lift your burden. Divine paradox this! The man who staggers and falls because his burden is too great can lighten that burden by taking on the weight of another's burden. You get by giving, but your part of giving must be given first. [7]
More recently, Elder David A. Bednar stated that this selfless giving is the essence of the character of Jesus Christ. He said:
The greatest indicator of character is the capacity to recognize and appropriately respond to other people who are experiencing the very challenge . . . pressing upon us. Character is revealed, for example, in the power to discern the suffering of other people when we ourselves are suffering; in the ability to detect the hunger of others when we are hungry; and in the power to reach out and extend compassion . . . when we are in the midst of our own spiritual distress. Thus, character is demonstrated by looking and reaching outward when the natural and instinctive response is to be self-absorbed and turn inward. [8]
And Elder Jeffrey R. Holland stated:
True love blooms when we care more about another person than we care about ourselves. That is Christ’s great . . . example for us, and it ought to be more evident in the kindness we show, the respect we give, and the selflessness and courtesy we employ in our personal relationships. [9]
I was recently made aware of Jason and Clarissa Osborn’s story of the power of both putting trust in the Savior and in the healing power of selfless service. Both Jason and Clarissa are alumni of BYU-Idaho. As you watch this short video clip from KSL News, please note the principles of JOY.
I have found that when I am discouraged or anxious, my natural fallen-man tendency is to put JOY in reverse.
When I was called to serve a mission in 1980 to the Philippines, I was the oldest son and the oldest grandson on both sides of my family to accept a call. The last missionary to serve was my father, who served in the 1950s. I had never been away from home for more than a night or two in my life. Sensing my nervousness, my bishop told me I would be the best missionary ever to have served from our ward. That gave me some confidence. I am pretty sure he deliberately gave that message to every missionary. Fast forward two months, I am now serving in some very remote village hours from the mission home and across the planet from my family. There was only one telephone in town, no email, and we received our mail in batches, a month's worth of letters at a time. I was not only very homesick but became both anxious and depressed. Best missionary—not hardly! I began to doubt and, true to my fallen-man nature, became very focused on myself. I beat myself up for every negative thought. I tried listening to hours of church music, memorizing scriptures, and doing countless pushups—all trying to make myself feel better. When I shared my challenges with my mission president, he invited me to “cross the bridge.” He told me, “You are on the man-to-man side of the bridge. You are only focusing on yourself, your happiness, your baptisms, your chances for leadership. When you cross the bridge, your whole focus shifts to bringing others to Christ. Your investigators, your companion—everyone you have been asked to serve. On your side of the bridge, it is all about yourself; on the other side of the bridge, it is all about others.
After my mission, I learned that as a discouraged young missionary Gordon B. Hinckley received this simple counsel from his father: “Dear Gordon, . . . I have only one suggestion: forget yourself and go to work.” [10] Like Elder Hinckley, I took my mission president’s advice and poured myself into the work. And though it wasn’t immediate, my homesickness, anxiety, and depression lifted. Regarding the value of serving God by serving others, Sister Ester Rasband stated, “It is still true that we must lose ourselves to find ourselves. There is no “I” in PEACE.” [11]
Through the years, I have faced other trials and naturally fell into times when I became very “me” focused—on the wrong side of the bridge. As I prayed, Heavenly Father always reminded me, “Forget about yourself and serve others,” yet I stubbornly would focus on myself, often neglecting those I cared about most, including my family. When my wife and I were sealed in the Seattle Temple, the officiator stood in front of me and said, “There is one word that starts with the letter “S” that will ruin many marriages. Do you know what that word is?” I blurted out, “Sin!” He said, “No, it is selfishness.”
I started this talk by implying that living the gospel should be simple, but the adversary counters with so many easy things that can keep us from practicing JOY and finding peace. It is so easy to just go to mindless diversions. As President Henry J. Eyring shared in last week’s devotional, our electronic devices can either “be a godsend . . . or ensnare us in mindless gaming and morally destructive [activities].” It is usually much easier to just find ways to be entertained than to go and serve others. When I am discouraged, I am just a click away from the latest game, Netflix show, or social media, almost always masking my feelings and providing only temporary relief. I am on the wrong side of the bridge—the selfish “me” side.
In preparation for this talk, I conducted three experiments to explore how we find both JOY and peace. My first experiment was to look at how the world seeks peace. There is a strong movement some have called spiritual but not religious. I have a meditation app on my phone that I often use. It averages nearly 500,000 daily users, with over 15,000 guided meditations and nearly 100 mini-courses. In sampling these offerings, I discovered that 89% of them were “me” or “I” focused, 9% were about serving others, and 2% had anything to do with faith. Some of the recent popular titles were “30 days to a Happier, More Fulfilled You,” “Coming Home to Yourself,” and “Inner-Child Healing Meditation.”
So, my next question, naturally, was to ask, “How are we doing here at BYU-Idaho?” To determine this, I posted a one-question survey on the BYU-Idaho LinkedIn page:
Life can be challenging and stressful, especially as a college student. When you are stressed out and perhaps discouraged, what is your number-one activity to find relief?
In just days, nearly 500 of you responded. I then took your answers and broke them down into the JOY categories. Now, as I share your responses, I want to make this very important disclaimer: almost all “Y” activities are not bad; in fact, many of them are very good and in the end can help us be better at serving God and others. But this experiment did reveal that our natural tendency is to focus on things that will make us feel better.
As this chart illustrates, 83% of your stress-relief activities were “Y,” with the top three being exercise, media, and sleeping. Eating was number four. As I have anticipated this talk over the past couple of days, I have done all of these, except sleep! Ten percent of you shared that your top things were “O,” with spending time with family and friends leading the way. And 7% of you responded with “J” activities, with prayer, attending the temple, and reading scriptures as the most common.
My third experiment was to re-read the Book of Mormon and to mark and tally each verse that referenced the Savior with a small letter “J,” each verse that invites us to serve others with an “O,” and each reference to serving ourselves with a “Y.” Interestingly, this is almost an exact inverse of both the world’s ideas and our survey responses, with 72% references for serving and loving God, 25% for serving others, and only 3% looking out for ourselves.
In summary: while we can love God and learn of Him, the only way we can serve Him is by serving His children, and we will have more peace if we actually practice JOY. Here are some suggestions:
With “J” I believe we should:
- seek Him (Ether 12:41)
- try to be like Him (Mormon 7:10)
- serve his children (Mosiah 2:17)
With “O” we can:
- serve His children (Matthew 25:40; D&C 42:38)
- be forgiving (D&C 64:10)
- live the golden rule (Matthew 7:12)
And, if we do things in this order, we become a better “Y,” a better version of ourselves. We become more:
- kind (1 Corinthians 13:4)
- charitable (D&C 121:45)
- like Him (Alma 5:14)
One of my favorite primary songs is “I’m Trying to Be like Jesus.” Because I have no musical talent I have asked my wife to help us with this song. She is going to sing both verses, but she’ll invite all of you to joyfully join her in singing the chorus. You’ll see the words on the screen. Again, as you listen to and sing these words, notice the elements of JOY.
In summary: if we want to simply live the gospel beautifully, we will find peace by practicing JOY. And as illustrated in this song, we’ll try to be like Jesus by following in His ways, loving as He did, in all that we do and say. We will love our neighbor and learn to serve our friends. We will then be able to watch for the day of gladness when Jesus will come again. [12]
In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.
[1] “Jonah Goldberg: If Hypocrisy Were Helium, We'd All Have Funny Voices and Some Would Float Away,” The Glenn Beck Program, May 17, 2017; glennbeck.com/2017/05/17/jonah-goldberg-if-hypocrisy-were-helium-wed-all-have-funny-voices-and-some-would-float-away/.
[2] Glen L. Rudd, “Keeping the Gospel Simple,” Ensign, Jan. 1989; lds.org/ensign/1989/01/keeping-the-gospel-simple?.
[3] 2 Nephi 2:25.
[4] John Greenya, “Black Man On A White Field,” Black Athlete Sports Network, June 19, 2005; blackathlete.net/2005/06/black-man-on-a-white-field/; see also “Brian Piccolo,” Wikipedia.
[5] "Sayers, Halas Praise Piccolo's Courage," Milwaukee Sentinel, June 17, 1970.
[6] Matthew 22:37-39.
[7] Spencer W. Kimball, "The Abundant Life," commencement at Safford, AZ, High School, 1939; see TSWK pp. 250-51.
[8] David A. Bednar, “The Character of Christ,” BYU-I Religion Symposium, Jan. 25, 2003.
[9] Jeffrey R. Holland, “How Do I Love Thee?,” New Era, Oct. 2003.
[10] “Sweet Is the Work: Gordon B. Hinckley, 15 th President of the Church,” New Era, May 1995.
[11] Ester Rasband, Confronting the Myth of Self-Esteem: Twelve Keys to Finding Peace, 1998.
[12] See “I’m Trying to Be like Jesus,” Children’s Songbook, 78.