My motto for myself since coming to work here has been, “Nothing but fun at BYU-Idaho!”
Recently my life has had many surprises—this talk one of them—and while adjusting to them, I have been praying to know and do Heavenly Father’s will, so this talk gives me an opportunity to focus.
A favorite author of my days as a student at BYU, Richard Bach, once wrote, “You teach best what you most need to learn.” [1] So why don’t you come with me and we’ll see what we learn?
I graduated high school at 17 and went to Idaho State University Vo-Tech in Pocatello. I lived on campus in the dorms that were right
There was a very large hill, called Red Hill, right next to the institute building, with fake Greek ruins on top, and I would climb up there occasionally to be by myself and feel lonely.
I vividly remember sitting up there in the cold late one Sunday afternoon, watching the students coming to sacrament meeting down below—that was when it was separate and late in the day—and thinking to myself how I wished I was going there to church. I sat up there the beginning of one sacrament meeting into the next, watching
I learned that year the easiest place to be truly alone is in a crowd. Who among us is feeling alone, and how do we recognize and help them?
It wasn’t until my second year at school that an elders quorum president found me and made an effort to get me out when I was there and I became somewhat active in the student ward, but I still went home as often as I could.
At this time, I turned 19 and my home-ward bishop called me up at school and told me to come home to be ordained an elder and so they could send me on a mission. Again no one ever asked if that was what I wanted to really do; they just assumed I would go. After all, the “good” boys went on missions. Five months later, I found myself looking out the window on the third floor of the Salt Lake City Mission home, watching my parents drive away. I wondered why they had bars on the inside of the huge third-story sleeping room filled with bunk beds. Who would ever want to break into there! And did I really want to go on a mission?
Up to this point in my life, I had just followed my parents and trusted in their testimonies and their faith. I was a fifth-generation Mormon and lived in a mostly all-Mormon town. I trusted everyone knew what was good for me: my parents, my school teachers, my church leaders.
On my
Jacob in the Book of Mormon tells us:
"Therefore, cheer up your hearts, and remember that ye are free to act for yourselves . . . . Wherefore, my beloved brethren, reconcile yourselves to the will of God."[2]
“Agency is the ability and privilege God gives us to choose and to act for ourselves.” [3]
After my mission was over, I felt strongly I should go to BYU in Provo. So off I went and forced my way into
I had discovered Heavenly Father loved me and all I had to do was seek His will in my life. Yes, bad things still happened to me, I made a lot of mistakes, but I felt I finally had direction in my life. I had sought to align my will with God’s will for my life, and I was mostly happy.
So how does one find God’s will for themselves? We want heaven’s help and answers for everything, but we still want our agency.
A few weeks ago I went out on campus to find out what some students thought about God’s will and how to find it.
What about those who seek God’s will and then disobey it? Alma in his discourse on faith to the Zoramites said:
"And now, how much more cursed is he that knoweth the will of God and doeth it not, than he that only believeth, or only hath cause to believe, and falleth into transgression?"[4]
The Nephites in 3 Nephi were getting “in a state of awful wickedness.
"Now they did not sin ignorantly, for they knew the will of God concerning them, for it had been taught unto them; therefore they did
"Verily I say, men should be anxiously engaged in a good cause, and do many things of their own free will, and bring to pass much righteousness;
"For the power is in them, wherein they are agents unto themselves."[6]
One of my favorite stories of the Old Testament is a very unusual one. It comprises three chapters in Numbers and is about a non-Israelite prophet named Balaam and his talking donkey. [7] Many lessons can be taken from the story. For me today, it is an example of seeking and knowing the Lord’s will and then going against it, seeking the recognition and riches of the world. As we join Israel, they have stopped “[wandering] in the wilderness,” [8] and are making their way to the promised land, wiping out any opposition they meet, and they pitched their tents against the Moabites and the Midianites. Balak was the king of Moab. He sent word to Balaam, a prophet who was living in the mountains of the east in Mesopotamia, to come and curse Israel, for they were too mighty for him, that he may smite them, “and that I may drive them out of the land: for I wot that he whom thou blessest is blessed, and he whom thou cursest is cursed.” [9]
So the elders of Moab and Midian went to Balaam with a reward if he would
So he sent the elders back to Balak.
But Balak sent more honorable princes to tempt Balaam, saying:
"Let nothing, I pray thee, hinder thee from coming unto me:
"For I will promote thee unto very great
"And Balaam answered and said unto the servants of Balak, If Balak would give me his house full of silver and gold, I cannot go beyond the word of the Lord my God, to do less or more.
"Now
Balaam really wants the reward and
"And God came unto Balaam at night, and said unto him, If the men come to call thee, rise up [if thou will], and go with them; but yet the word which I shall say unto thee, that shalt thou
So Balaam got up next morning, saddled his donkey, took his two servants, and went with the princes of Moab.
"And God’s anger was kindled because he went: and the angel of the Lord stood in the way for an adversary against him."[13]
Evidently, animals can see angels that humans cannot, for the donkey sees the angel standing in the path with a drawn sword ready to do something bad to Balaam and, wanting to protect her lifelong master,
And now, as a young child reading this in a Bible Stories book, this is where the story gets really interesting. The Lord opens the mouth of the donkey:
"And she said unto Balaam, What have I done unto thee, that thou hast smitten me these three times?"[14]
And Balaam replied:
"Because thou hast mocked me: I would there
To which the donkey says:
Am I not yours, and have I ever mocked you?
Balaam says no.
Then the Lord opened the eyes of Balaam, and he saw the angel of the Lord standing in the way, and his sword drawn in his hand: and he bowed down his head, and fell flat on his face.
And the angel of the Lord said unto him, Wherefore hast thou smitten thine [donkey] these three times? behold, I went out to withstand thee, because thy way is perverse before me:
"And the [donkey] saw
"And Balaam said unto the angel of the Lord, I have sinned; for I knew not that thou
"And the angel of the Lord said unto Balaam, Go with the men: but only the word that I shall speak unto thee, that thou shalt speak. So Balaam went with the princes of Balak."[16]
Now, if my donkey started to talk to me and I saw an angel with a drawn sword ready to kill me, I would think maybe I should go back home and forget about the whole affair. But Balaam evidently really wants the reward and honor promised even though he knows the Lord’s will.
The next two chapters tell the story of how three times in three different places Balaam tries to gain favor with Balak but
Balaam sought the will of the Lord, went against it when told several times not to go, and finally suffered the consequences. Yes, he did good by blessing the Israelites, but that never outweighed his rejecting the Lord’s will and, in the end, helping the Midianites cause problems for Israel.
Choose your consequence. Every decision has an outcome, every choice a consequence. How wonderful it is that Heavenly Father’s plan provides a Savior and the Atonement for our less-than-right decisions and choices.
How do we find God’s will for us individually and collectively? Prayer; the Holy Ghost; scripture study; general conference; sacrament meeting; our other church meetings; service for others; following Jesus’s example “who went about doing good” 18; through our leaders, especially the prophet and apostles.
And whatsoever they shall speak when moved upon by the Holy Ghost shall be scripture, shall be the will of the Lord, shall be the mind of the Lord, shall be the word of the Lord, shall be the voice of the Lord, and the power of God unto salvation. [19]
A patriarchal blessing can be a wonderful guide. Cultivating a broken heart and a contrite spirit can be perhaps our greatest asset.
The wonderful thing about being here at BYU-Idaho is the Lord’s will being sought and followed by those who lead, teach, and work here. All seek to do God’s will. Many serve on campus on Sundays as well, and they additionally seek Heavenly Father’s will in their callings.
Last week’s devotional speaker, Steve Clark, urged us to come to devotional. Physical attendance can allow the Spirit to work on us collectively to know Heavenly Father’s will for us as a campus and as individuals.
When I was married for only a short time and we had our first child, I had just finished three wonderful years doing a show “It’s a Miracle” for Janice Kapp Perry and Joy Lundberg. I found myself working two somewhat part-time jobs to get by while I looked for more permanent work in my field. I was in serious conversations with several different employers over the span of more than a year, including BYU, the Church, and a large drugstore chain in California. All were very serious about hiring me and had wonderful jobs for me that seemed exactly what I wanted to do. It seemed only a matter of time before I was back to a job I was suited for.
Then the strangest things started to happen. One position was frozen, just minutes before the manager, who had flown out from California to Salt Lake to make me an offer, met with me. Another was given to a different person when I was already temporarily hired and the new position created using me as the template and the managers assuming I would get the job automatically. The third job just kept stringing the offer out, promising a decision at some future date, but assuring me they really wanted to hire me, but not just yet.
I was looking heavenward, wondering what I had done to offend God that this was happening to me. I remember my wife asking me if I had done something wrong to bring the wrath of heaven down on our family. I felt like the Prophet Joseph in Liberty Jail, asking God where He is hiding. What was going on? Why were these perfectly matched jobs slipping through my fingers? Why were my prayers going seemingly unanswered? I’d been good.
During the
My wife wouldn’t let it go and asked me repeatedly over several months if I had applied. Finally in late spring one day, I grabbed an old résumé—those were the days you had to type them on a typewriter, get them printed on nice paper costing a small fortune, and handwrite the cover letter—put them in an envelope right in front of her, licked a stamp, and asked her if she now was happy and to get off my back. In the mail—end of story. Nothing will ever come of it.
Years later I found out the other side of my story. Virginia Tech had this All-American musical-performing group of 22 singers, a 12-piece show band, a full technical crew of 25, and lots of equipment, sets, and costumes, doing about 25 shows a school year around the eastern United States. They had suddenly lost their Technical Director and for about half a year had conducted two national searches and countless interviews, finding no one that fit what they wanted, someone who fit what they were trying to portray: the All-American image, “Mom, Home
I had just decided I would quit the daytime job, even if I
My wife almost wouldn’t believe me when I called to tell her the news. They hadn’t even made me an offer yet, and the pageant committee at the Church was mad because they found out I was interviewing for another job. Monday morning the offer came, and Wednesday I left Provo for Blacksburg for 13 wonderful years. Thirty years later I realized, while cleaning out a stack of rejection letters from that time period, that while seeking heaven’s will and help in my employment, that we must abide heaven’s timing as well. Although I was being considered for many good jobs that fit me, Heavenly Father knew the best job was still in the future, not quite ready for me yet. And sometimes he speaks through my wife!
President Dallin H. Oaks’ “Good, Better, Best” principle was happening right there in my life. [20]
Elder Neal A. Maxwell of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles has said:
"The issue for us is trusting God enough to trust also His timing. If we can truly believe He has our welfare at heart, may we not let His plans unfold as He thinks best? The same is true . . . with all those matters wherein our faith needs to include faith in the Lord’s timing for us personally, not just in His overall plans and purposes."[21]
President Oaks has said:
"Indeed, we cannot have true faith in the Lord without also having complete trust in the Lord’s will and in the Lord’s timing.
"In our service in the Lord’s
My brothers and sisters, I have learned by looking back that Heavenly Father is interested in all I do and willing to help in all aspects of my life if I but seek His will and timing. Perhaps I have known this all along but never truly learned it. Quoting again from Richard Bach:
"Learning is finding out what you already know. Doing is demonstrating that you know it. Teaching is reminding others that they know just as well as you. You are all learners, doers, teachers."[23]
May we all learn to seek God’s will in all we do and abide His timing, help others to do the same, and as one of my co-workers always says, “Have joy in the journey,” I pray in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.
Notes
[1] Richard Bach, Illusions: The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah, 1977.
[2] 2 Nephi 10:23-24.
[3] “Agency and Accountability”; lds.org/topics/agency.
[4] Alma 32:19.
[5] 3 Nephi 6:17-18.
[6] Doctrine and Covenants 58: 27-28.
[7] Numbers 22-24.
[8] Numbers 32:13.
[9] Numbers 22:6.
[10] Numbers 22:12.
[11] Numbers 22:16-19.
[12] Numbers 22:20.
[13] Numbers 22:22.
[14] Numbers 22:28.
[15] Numbers 22:29.
[16] Numbers 22: 31-35
[17] Numbers 31:8
[18] Revelations 2:14; 2 Peter 2: 15-16
[19] D&C 68:4
[20] Dallin H. Oaks, October 2007 Conference talk “Good, Better, Best”
[21] Neil A. Maxwell, Even As I Am (1982) Deseret Book, p. 93
[22] Dallin H. Oaks, from a devotional address “Timing”, 29 January 2002, Brigham Young University
[23] Richard Bach, Illusions: The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah, 1977