My heart is so full of gratitude, that I hope you don't mind if I start with two quick thank you notes...
Thank you, President Clark, for the past 3,509 great days here at BYU-Idaho! Since 2005, your inspired vision has made them great! You will be greatly missed!
Thank you, random student, for shouting out "remember who you are" at 7:00 in the morning. Your shout out inspired me!
True story by the way. It happened just a few weeks ago as I was walking from the Clarke building to the Manwaring Center for a meeting. It was about 10 minutes to seven and I was just passing the child lab when I heard someone holler "remember who you are!" from the crosswalk behind me. I knew the student was not shouting directly to me (at least I don't think so), but the message stopped me in my tracks and I laughed out loud. It had been a long time since I had heard that phrase with that level of imperative, but it was just what I needed! What inspiration and happiness filled my heart! Remember who you are. This is the message I want to share.
But more than just remembering who you are -which to me is a more passive appreciation for something you've forgotten; I would like to explore rediscovering who you are - which more actively reconnects you with what you already deeply know. And this is why: The world wants you to forget that you - as choice spirit - were reserved for this time. The adversary wants you to doubt; doubt yourself, doubt your faith, and doubt you even belong.
In 3 Nephi 18:18 we read:
Behold, verily, verily I say unto you, ye must watch and pray always lest ye enter into temptation; for Satan desireth to have you, that he may sift you as wheat."[1]
When we doubt our core purpose, our nature as sons and daughters of God, we become in a sense malnourished, weak, and vulnerable to bitterness, anguish, and regret. Remember President Clark's warning at the beginning of the semester? He implored that we all need to hold tightly to the iron rod and the shield of faith with both hands as "[Satan] hurls...his fiery darts of discouragement, doubt, fear, ridicule, scorn, and distraction to try to stop you from doing the good things God wants done."[2]
I testify that President Clark shared an inspired message that day. His counsel rang especially true in my heart because it happened to me. It is something like the experience of donning sterile gloves, as soon as you put them on your nose inevitably starts to itch. It takes all the fibers of your being to resist that urge to scratch. I think you know what I'm talking about. Reflecting back on my life, I can see how times in my life I have white knuckled that iron rod and how for a time, I let go all together.
I have been face-to-face with discouragement, doubt and fear and there were times when I felt aimless and couldn't see the places where I belonged. Perhaps you recognize that line from the song Glorious. When I first heard David Archuleta's cover of the song for the movie Meet the Mormons- I was captivated and could immediately relate to the lyrics. And as my kids will attest, for some time I played the song on continuous repeat mode. Not because of David Archuleta...well maybe just a little bit- but rather because of the message. The first few lines completely capture the essence of what I am trying to describe to you. The song begins:
There are times when, you might feel aimless, can't see the places where you belong.
But you will find that there is a purpose, it's been there within you all along.
And when you're near it... you can almost hear it.It's like a symphony... just keep listening, and pretty soon you'll start to figure out your part.[3]
So at 19 years of age, I left the University setting to travel and figure out my part. On one adventure, I set off for a month-long stay in the ashram of a Hindu Holy Man in Puttaparthi, Andhra Pradesh, India. With the hopes of discovering the "truth", I meditated, I fasted, I chanted, and I prayed. While I had hoped to somehow vet the teachings of my youth, I found in the end, that I came full circle. The Holy Man essentially told me to go back to the teachings of my youth. To be honest, I was a bit stunned! However on further contemplation, I realized I was being schooled! Just like the Lord schooled Oliver Cowdery as he began the work as a scribe in translating the Book of Mormon:
Verily, verily, I say unto you, if you desire a further witness, cast your mind upon the night that you cried unto me in your heart, that you might know concerning the truth of these things.
Did I not speak peace to your mind concerning the matter? What greater witness can you have than from God?[4]
What greater witness did I need? From that point on, my journey changed- I no longer needed to find my purpose; I just needed to rediscover it. While, it still required time on my part to reconcile and heal, I ultimately discovered the truth was within me all along; I didn't need to have further witness. The Lord directed me to the fact that I already had the truth; I just needed to reflect on it and allow my spirit to recognize it.
The Power of Rediscovery
Hence, the power of rediscovery! For a moment, just think about the purpose and inspiration that comes with initial discovery. For instance, it could be the simple, sheer thrill of finding a $5 bill in your pocket. The wonder and awe that accompany the impressive spray of Old Faithful for the first time. How does it do that? Think about discovering the texture and warmth of beach sand beneath your feet on your first journey to the Ocean. Or imagine those first eureka moments! Like my daughter Kady who has been learning Spanish in school. Not long ago while making dinner, she had an epiphany! "Oh" ... she said, "salsa Verde actually means salsa green"! The look on her face was fantastic!
Great joy comes with the accomplishment of reading the Book of Mormon for the first time, cover to cover. Peace and gratitude accompany that mighty change of heart when we discover our personal testimonies of Jesus Christ. Consider the safety in knowing deep within your soul that you are indeed a child of our Heavenly Father. There is so much value in discovery, in the knowledge that comes from it. It can be beautiful, new, interesting and unexpected.
But, now, let's consider rediscovery. To rediscover is a gift by its own right, allowing you to discover over and over again. Rediscovery allows you to recapture and re-live moments in your lives as though they were happening again for the first time. Rediscovery can also be a process, much like conversion; leading to greater knowledge, a keener understanding, and a change or rebirth in your very nature. President Kimball shared his conviction in discovering the scriptures not just once, but rather again and again.[5] Only then do you begin to really see the big picture and become able apply the messages to your own life. Continual rediscovery is what keeps life exciting and meaningful!
Experiencing a change of heart again and again nourishes your spirit and exercises your faith, keeping you grounded and moving forward. Rediscovering who you are makes you "spiritually strong, sound, and steadfast."[6] It gives you direction and deepens your commitment to serve the Lord. Rediscovering truth not only for yourself but also of yourself chases the darkness from you so that "the light groweth brighter and brighter until the perfect day."[7] During Elder Russell M. Nelson's recent BYU-Idaho address, he confirmed that most of us do not appreciate how precious we really are or how important we are. Most of us, he said, do not fully appreciate who we really are and our potential for greatness![8] Too many of us may be lost in our imperfections or in our strivings to be perfect, which, in some instances, is all it takes to lose our grip, our testimony, and the light. And as you know, it begins with small choices and decisions until you find yourself lost altogether. You begin to rationalize, become cynical, and doubt your faith.
The process of rediscovering what you once knew or have begun to doubt requires you adopt a plan of action. It takes effort to reclaim the necessary conviction to keep the commandments, stand firm in the faith, and trust in the Lord. In my story, I had to awaken the courage and faith to stand firm in the standards determined by the Lord, not by the directions of the wind.[9] I found it required the effort of one who "digged deep" laying a solid foundation upon which the winds and the storms could not ruin.[10]
I would like to share with you three strategies that made the difference for me and continue to make the difference. I would also like to frame these restorative strategies around the analogy of digging deeply by using an acronym created by Brené Brown, a qualitative researcher in social work.
D = Be Deliberate and develop authenticity
I = Get Inspired and create calm and stillness
G = Get Going and practice gratitude and joy[11]
Be Deliberate
Be deliberate in developing authenticity. I have mentioned Brené Brown. Much of her work has been grounded in human behavior and relationships and the difficult emotions we all experience. She writes that love and belonging are essential to the human experience. An important concept that emerged from Brown's research was that worthiness was what separated those who feel deep love and belonging from those that do not. Said she, "If we want to fully experience love and belonging, we must believe that we are worthy of love and belonging."[12]
I mention this because a lack of feeling worthy poses one of the greatest barriers to self-discovery. Satan has increased the intensity of his attacks on your identity and is actively engaged in evoking in you dismay, discouragement, and distraction.[13] Feelings of unworthiness easily become toxic and blinding. And when you base your worth on the opinions of others for example, you can seldom measure up.
A dear friend put it into perspective for me this way: when you seek approval and validation from external sources; when you view yourself always through the eyes of others, it is just like looking into the mirrors at the Carnival fun house. The reflection you see back is distorted. It is not real. My dear friends, you must look at yourselves through the eyes of the Savior to see your true reflection; seeing beyond imperfection and self-doubts of worthiness.[14] Seeing through the Savior's eyes, you see how much better life is and can be by living on a higher plane.[15] This is the first step to becoming authentic. By this I mean, letting go of what other people think and embracing who you already know you are - sons and daughters of God, created in His image. Developing authenticity is also about representing your true selves with honesty, humility, deep love and concern; which may feel uncomfortable and vulnerable to you at first. But in the end, you will find it becomes a great gift of freedom. Lifting the burden and energy it takes to carry your fears and hide behind a facade of someone you are not.
Authenticity is not something you either have or don't have, it is a daily practice of consciously choosing how you want to live.[16] It requires that you acknowledge your weaknesses and then seek to eliminate them. It requires humility and even repentance. It requires you embrace your imperfections and do your best. The grace of Jesus Christ is sufficient to compensate for the rest. In Ether 12:27 it reads:
And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them.[17]
In an October 2014 conference address, President Uchtdorf shared this assurance:
God loves you this very day and always. He is not waiting to love you until you have overcome your weaknesses and bad habits. He loves you today with a full understanding of your struggles. He is aware that you reach up to Him in heartfelt and hopeful prayer. He knows of the times you have held onto the fading light and believed- even in the midst of growing darkness. He knows of your sufferings. He knows of your remorse for the times you have fallen short or failed. And still He loves you.[18]
This knowledge of Christ's love for us is what keeps our grasp firm on both the iron rod and that shield of faith. This knowledge - when you believe it and when you know it in your heart- and apply it....makes you authentic, not only in the person you are today, but also for the person "of glory and light you have the potential and desire to become."[19]
Get Inspired
Get inspired to create calm and stillness. When I was in grade school or Jr. High I had a Snoopy poster in my bedroom that depicted Snoopy and Woodstock beating on drums. Snoopy was in the lead and the caption read, "I march to the beat of a different drummer". That phrase seemed a rather accurate depiction of how I felt as a young adolescent. I struggled, like many do at that age. I grew up in Helena, Montana and while there was a good sized group of strong LDS youth, I struggled to fit the mold. Or perhaps, I fought against fitting the mold. This led me to act out in ways that was quickly noticed by my dear parents.
My father approached his concerns to me through a handwritten letter. I honestly don't recall much of the letter now except for one specific piece of counsel that has dwelled in my heart and mind ever since. My dad wrote, "Sara, don't ever let the beat of the drums drown out the still small voice of the Holy Ghost." As you know, the voice of the Lord is not in the thunder, or in lighting, or in any spectacular display, it comes as it did to Elijah, in a "still small voice."[20][21] My father could see what I could not see, likely because I lost my moxie. I lost my capacity to believe in myself and above all, I lost sight of my potential.
There is boundless noise in the world today designed to distract and confound you. Anxiety, fear, anger, and regret cloud your minds; technology preoccupies your focus and may even cause you to doubt the simple clear messages of the Gospel. Until you create calm and stillness in your life; simplify and focus on what matters most, you may fail to recognize and understand the thoughts and ideas, warnings and comforts that come from the inspiration of the Holy Ghost; in fact you may altogether lose this "unspeakable gift."[22] Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin once described:
If [you] would open [your] hearts to the refining influence of this unspeakable gift of the Holy Ghost, a glorious new spiritual dimension would come to light. [Your] eyes would gaze upon a vista scarcely imaginable. [You] could know for [yourself] things of the Spirit that are choice, precious, and capable of enlarging the soul, expanding the mind, and filing the heart with inexpressible joy.[23]
How do we create calm and stillness in our lives? Make the decision to do it! Simply don't allow the clatter of the world to overwhelm the promptings of the Spirit. Begin to let go of anxiety, fear, anger, and regret- ...and limit technology! Make time to meditate and to contemplate even as the Savior did in Matthew 14: 23, "And when he had sent the multitudes away, he went up into a mountain apart to pray: And when the evening was come, he was there alone."[24] Get enough sleep. Eat well and move your bodies, detox from addictive substances and avoid addictive distractions.
Stay focused on the essential truths of the Gospel and simplify your lives. Repent and seek the blessings of Christ's atonement. Only when we are "calm as a summer's morning; ...have a conscience void of offenses towards God, and towards all men"[25] can we create calm and stillness. Don't quit, don't look for escapes and excuses. Don't search for someone else to blame.[26] Instead, accept His grace to buoy you up.
Get Going
Get going and practice gratitude and joy! Recall, I said that when we are deliberate and authentic, we can choose how we want to live? Choose a joyful life! To quote Brené Brown, a joyful life is made up of "moments gracefully strung together by trust, gratitude, inspiration, and faith."[27] No better way to achieve this is than through inspired service; becoming sensitive to the promptings of the Holy Ghost in knowing who needs our help and what we can do for them.[28]
President Gordon B. Hinckley said this, "If we want joy in our hearts, if we want the Spirit of the Lord in our lives, let us forget ourselves and reach out."[29] Hence, I submit to you again, that the greatest way to rediscover yourself is to lose yourself in service. The Joseph Smith Translation of Mark 8: 37-38 reads:
Whosoever will save his life, shall lose it; or whosoever will save his life, shall be willing to lay it down for my sake; and if he is not willing to lay it down for my sake, he shall lose it. But whosoever shall be willing to lose his life for my sake, and the gospel, the same shall save it.[30] Service with all of your heart and mind is free of selfish ambition and motivated by the pure love of Christ.[31] In recent months, there have been many instances when I have been overcome by the pressures of being a wife, a mother, a Nurse, a Department Chair, a doctoral student, and so on. My sweet husband has patiently listened to my complaints many times about the pressure I sometimes feel. It is in those moments that I complain about my life however, that I realize just how selfish I am. President Hinckley once referenced a great quote about this saying, "I complained because I had no shoes until I saw a man who had no feet."[32] How quickly I still slip into old habits of allowing discouragement and fear to overshadow my faith and testimony of our Lord and Savior. During these times, it is most important to get going in practice of reaching out to others. When we do, I testify, we find the tender mercies of gratitude and joy fill our wells. As in John 15:11: "These things have I spoken unto you, that my joy might remain in you, and that your joy might be full."[33]
Conclusion
I bear testimony of Christ's love for you and in His desire for you to experience love and belonging, calm and stillness, and gratitude and joy. Repeatedly, I stand all amazed,[34] in Christ's love and that He rescued a soul like me; full of selfishness and transgression, impatience and imperfection. Through His grace I got my moxie back! I testify that His grace is sufficient, if we but do our part to DIG deep.
The simple strategies I've discussed today have been key factors in my own emotional and spiritual growth, as well as in my personal successes as a wife and mother, and professional successes as a nurse. Consider them tools for your own lives now or in the future. Be deliberate and become authentic. Ensure your behaviors reflect your beliefs. Get inspired and create calm and stillness in your lives. Safeguard the gift of the Holy Ghost. Get going and practice gratitude and joy by serving others. Rediscover the pure love of Christ that exists within you. What greater witness is there, when you rediscover who you are?
Brothers and sisters let me conclude with this point spoken in 1987 by Neal A Maxwell, "events and circumstances in [these] last days make it imperative for us as members of the Church to become more grounded, rooted, established, and settled."[35] May we all dig deep and "settle on this determination,"[36] I pray in the sacred name of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, amen.
Notes
[1] 3 Nephi 18:18
[2] Kim B. Clark, "The Iron Rod and the Shield of Faith", January, 2015. BYU-I Devotional
[3] "Glorious", from Meet the Mormons. Songwriter: Stephanie Maybe
[4] D&C 6:22-23
[5] Spencer W. Kimball, "How Rare a Possession- The Scriptures!", Ensign, September 1976, 4
[6] Dean R. Burgess, "Do You Know Who You Are?", April, 2008. General Conference
[7] D&C 50:24
[8] Russel M. Nelson. "The Lord Uses the Unlikely to Accomplish the Impossible". January 26, 2015. BYU-I Devotional
[9] Helaman 5:12
[10] Luke 6: 46-48
[11] Brené Brown. (2010). The gifts of Imperfection. Center City, MN: Hazelden
[12] Ibid
[13] Elaine S. Dalton, "Remember Who You Are!", April, 2010. General Conference
[14] Dieter F. Uchtdorf. "The Reflection in the Water", November 1, 2009. CES Devotional
[15] Brad Wilcox, "His Grace is Sufficient", July 12, 2011. CES Devotional
[16] Brené Brown. (2010). The gifts of Imperfection. Center City, MN: Hazelden
[17] Ether 12:27
[18] Dieter F. Uchtdorf, "Living the Gospel Joyful", October, 2014. General Conference
[19] Ibid
[20] S. Dilworth Young. "The Still Small Voice", April, 1976. General Conference
[21] 1Kings 19:11-13
[22] D&C 121:26
[23] Joseph B. Wirthlin, "The Unspeakable Gift", April, 2003. General Conference
[24] Matthew 14:23
[25] D&C 135:4
[26] Brad Wilcox, "His Grace is Sufficient", July 12, 2011. CES Devotional
[27] Brené Brown. (2010). The gifts of Imperfection. Center City, MN: Hazelden
[28] M. Russell Ballard, in Prophets and Apostles: "Serve God by Serving Others", www.lds.org
[29] Gordon B. Hinckley, "Words of the Prophet: Forget Yourself and Serve", New Era, July, 2006
[30] JST, Mark 8:37-38
[31] Dallin H. Oaks, in Prophets and Apostles: "Serve God by Serving Others", www.lds.org
[32] Gordon B. Hinckley, "Words of the Prophet: Forget Yourself and Serve", New Era, July, 2006
[33] John 15:11
[34] "I Stand All Amazed", Hymns of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, 193
[35] Neal A. Maxwell. "Overcome... Even As I Also Overcame." Ensign, May 1987
[36] Ibid