In the entryway at the back of this auditorium is a mural I call “Man’s Search for Happiness.” It displays the journey through life from birth, youth, marriage, family, career, old age, and death. This progress is the source of happiness. I reflected on this after listening to Brother Thiebaud’s question about how we know that God loves us.
I appreciate all of the comments and insights shared in preparation for this devotional. One point that is helpful is when monitoring your own progress it is best to compare with yourself and past performance rather than others.
I have always loved stories and I'd like to share this one that I heard when I was very young.
The Wolf You Feed
One evening, an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people.
He said, "My son, the battle is between two "wolves" inside us all. One is evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego. The other is good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith."
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: "Which wolf wins?"
The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one you feed."
After you have lived much of your life and look backwards, you will recognize the truths that are found in this simple story. This has a lot to do with maturing. I believe it is part of the process for which our Heavenly Father chooses that we follow as we mature spiritually. It is very important that we are always looking for ways to improve and draw near to our Savior as He will lead us back to our heavenly home.
Today, I would like to share some ideas that can help us understand more fully the special and sacred position we're in while trying to return to our Father in Heaven.
I find this quote from Elder Marvin J. Ashton to be helpful as we talk about maturity in general:
I am not quite sure who has the right or responsibility to declare someone an adult, but I am quite certain that often the least qualified to make the declaration would be the individual himself. If a person is mature, he or she will not need to announce it. Personal conduct is the only true measurement of maturity. . . . Perhaps it is not too far off the mark to say adult conduct is a process. Mature conduct is generally developed through self-discipline, resilience, and continuing effort. [1]
Elder Neal A. Maxwell added this thought, which I really appreciate given the world we live in that is so full of information which tries to not only inform but sometimes to misinform us:
Just as the capacity to defer gratification is a sign of real maturity, likewise the willingness to wait for deferred explanation is a sign of real faith and of trust spread over time.” [2]
We live in a time when a situation can be resolved in a 30- or 60-minute television show. Or the Avengers can save the world in a 3-hour movie. Most things you face don’t work themselves out that quickly.
Finally, Elder Boyd K. Packer shared this thought about the impact of the decisions we make in our lives:
You are growing up in enemy territory. When you become mature spiritually, you will understand how the adversary has infiltrated the world around you. He is in homes, entertainment, the media, language—everything around you. In most cases his presence is undetected.” [3]
Great counsel.
We all love it when we see any young person who carries themselves well and shows signs of being mature. They interact with others in an adult manner. So, what are the marks of maturity?
Now would be a great time to do a self-assessment. We will make this easy. Our scale will be never, 1; sometimes, 2; mostly always, 3.
A mature person is able to keep long-term commitments.
One key signal of maturity is the ability to delay gratification. Part of this means a person is able to keep commitments even when they are no longer new or novel. They can commit to continue doing what is right even when they don’t feel like it.
A mature person can say no to something good today hoping for something better tomorrow.
A mature person possesses a spirit of humility.
Humility parallels maturity. Humility isn’t thinking less of yourself; it is thinking of yourself less. Mature people aren’t consumed with drawing attention to themselves. They see how others have contributed to their success and can even sincerely give honor to their Creator who gave them the talent. This is the opposite of arrogance.
A mature person expresses gratitude consistently.
I have found the more I mature, the more grateful I am for both big and little things. Immature children presume they deserve everything good that happens to them. Mature people see the big picture and realize how blessed they are. They even see trials as opportunities for growth.
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A mature person’s decisions are based on character, not feelings.
Mature people live by values. They have principles that guide their decisions. They are able to progress beyond merely reacting to life’s options and act as they live their life. Their character is master over their emotions or environment.
A mature person is unshaken by flattery or criticism.
As people mature, they sooner or later understand that nothing is as good as it seems and nothing is as bad as it seems. Mature people can receive compliments or criticism without letting it ruin them or sway them into a distorted view of themselves. They are secure in their identity.
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A mature person knows how to prioritize others before themselves.
A mature person is one whose actions revolve around others, not self. I believe a pathway out of childishness is getting past your own desires and beginning to live to meet the needs of others.
A mature person seeks wisdom before acting.
A mature person is teachable. They don’t presume they have all the answers. The wiser they get, the more they realize they need more wisdom. They’re not ashamed of seeking counsel from other sources. Only the wise seek wisdom.
A mature person knows that success comes as a result of work (usually hard work).
I wish every adult (leader) modelled maturity for the generation coming behind them.
Susan Peters once said, "Children have a much better chance of growing up if their parents have done so first."
How did you do? Over 20 is very good.
I believe that one of the great Book of Mormon prophets Moroni gives us some wise counsel. His greatest sermons weren't even contained in the book of Moroni itself but rather in the book of Ether. When we look at this verse in Ether 12:5, it reads:
And it came to pass that Ether did prophesy great and marvelous things unto the people, which they did not believe, because they saw them not.” [4]
Why did they not believe? “Because they saw them not.”
Verse six is the key to spiritual growth and maturity:
And now, I, Moroni, would speak somewhat concerning these things; I would show unto the world that faith is things which are hoped for and not seen; wherefore, dispute not because ye see not, for ye receive no witness until after the trial of your faith. [5]
So, what is faith?
“Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” [6]
I love the teachings out of this verse that teach that “faith is [an] assurance of things hoped for.” This word “assurance” opens a new meaning for me. It conveys a much more appropriate message when bearing testimony than the more-often-used words “I know.” Too often we confuse the knowledge that we gain with our physical senses and we try to understand when someone bears testimony and says that “I know.” How did their physical senses capture that information? The word “assurance” isn't used a great deal, but it helps me to understand better that these teachings come by revelation from the Spirit.
Joseph Smith taught, “Faith is . . . the principle of action in all intelligent beings.” [7] So for us to have faith, we must exercise that faith and do something. As I've come to try to understand how to progress and to grow in spiritual maturity, it has become increasingly obvious that growth only comes when we serve others.
Elder Bednar explains this principle best.
Assurance, action, and evidence influence each other in an ongoing process. This helix is like a coil, and as it spirals upward it expands and widens. These three elements of faith—assurance, action, and evidence—are not separate and discrete; rather, they are interrelated and continuous and cycle upward. And the faith that fuels this ongoing process develops, evolves, and changes. As we again turn and face forward toward an uncertain future, assurance leads to action and produces evidence, which further increases assurance. Our confidence waxes stronger, line upon line, precept upon precept, here a little and there a little.
This spiral inspires me as I come to recognize what it really teaches us about progress and spiritual maturity--moving us upward on our spiritual maturity pathway.
Elder Bednar then continues,
I describe these three components of faith in the Savior as simultaneously facing the future, looking to the past, and initiating action in the present.” [8]
This might make more sense if we look at it in the form of a table showing the past, present, and future.
Let's start with the future, recognizing faith as the assurance of things hoped for. Rewards comes in the form of promises from the scriptures and from God's prophets; as I'll mention later, it also comes personally to us in the form of patriarchal blessings.
The next element of our table is to look to the past and remember the definition was faith as “evidence of things not seen.” [9] During our lives we get to witness many things, but usually it comes after some type of trial or an experience that we don't understand fully while we're going through it. The greatest witnesses that we can receive relate to the confidence that we obtain as we follow God's will; He will grant us the assurances that help us to feel stronger and more in line with His desires for us as His children.
That leads to the last element of the table, the present, where we remember what Joseph Smith taught that faith is a principle of action. When we have evidence that causes us to want to act, then it is our duty to act. When we delay, it will damn our progress. Sometimes people talk about what they're going to do tomorrow, but it's obvious that only today may we act. Sometimes we recognize that we must face trials as we mature spiritually; we recognize that those trials become opportunities to expand our faith and to grow closer to God. When bearing testimony, I hope that we can recognize the power of the evidence of God's hand in our lives, causing us to have a desire to act in doing good which then leads us to that assurance.
Moroni does a magnificent job of helping to give examples of these. I have asked Alec Aultz and Mckinley Nicoll to help read these slides. First, let’s talk about the righteous Nephites and Lamanites who were able to see the Savior. You can see the assurances they had, followed by their actions, leading to the evidence.
Alec Aultz: Assurance: they believed prophets such as Samuel the Lamanite and Nephi.
Action: they repented of their sins and did not fight against the prophets.
Evidence: they witnessed the resurrected Christ at Bountiful.
Mckinley Nicoll: Assurance: “the power of God was upon Alma and Amulek.” [10]
Action: Alma prayed, “O Lord, give us strength according to our faith which is in Christ, even unto deliverance.” [11]
Evidence: they “broke the cords with which they were bound . . . and the earth shook mightily, and the walls of the prison were rent in twain.” [12]
Alec Aultz: Assurance: Nephi and Lehi remembered and truly believed their father’s testimony that salvation could come to people only through Jesus Christ. [13]
Action: they went on missions to preach this central message to the Lamanites.
Evidence: their words were given “great power and authority,” and 8,000 Lamanites were convinced and converted. [14]
Mckinley Nicoll: Assurance: the sons of Mosiah received a remission of their sins and believed that if they, the vilest of sinners, could be changed, then certainly the vile Lamanites could be converted too.
Action: they went on missions to the Lamanites and preached for 14 years.
Evidence: thousands upon thousands of Lamanites were converted. [15]
Thank you.
Elder Christofferson shares this insight about Adam and Eve: “Adam and Eve acted for all who had chosen to participate in the Father’s great plan of happiness. Their Fall created the conditions needed for our physical birth and for mortal experience and learning outside the presence of God.” [16]
What are those basic insights? This slide shows the change in our conditions as we grow and transform.
This table shows three conditions mankind are in. Before the Fall, we were immortal. We lived in God’s presence as innocent, childless beings. After the Fall, we experience mortality with both physical death and the possibility of spiritual death. We have a knowledge of good and evil and the power to procreate. After the Atonement, we have the ability to be resurrected and we can also overcome spiritual death, both conditionally and unconditionally. We have a mature understanding of good and evil and the blessing of eternal increase.
This is so helpful, but it won’t help us return if we don’t go through similar experiences to grow our faith.
While serving as a mission president, I had the responsibility to interview any individuals who were studying the gospel who came from Muslim backgrounds. The reason for this was certain countries could persecute and cause severe problems for not only the investigators, but their immediate families. On one occasion, I interviewed a man, his wife, and daughter—we will call him Zara and her Ali and their daughter Sara.
While talking to Zara, I became impressed with his understanding of the doctrines of the gospel and even more impressed with the depth of his spirit. As I explained our concern for his safety while studying the doctrines of the Church and what might be imposed from some of his family or country officials, he made a statement that I'll never forget. He said, “No man, not even you, can keep me from being baptized if this is what God wishes.”
He was right, and I was more than happy to allow him and his family to enter into the gospel of Jesus Christ. They were baptized and lived the gospel for a time in our mission and then moved to Melbourne, Australia.
Zara saw evidence in the lives of the members of the ward and the teachings of the missionaries. He acted boldly on that evidence and was then blessed with a strong assurance from God through the Spirit.
We must also go through this faith cycle on our Pathway to Spiritual Maturity
Sometime this week, I invite you to write your own verse.
Here is a simple example from a patriarchal blessing promise.
Alex Aultz: Assurance: in my patriarchal blessing, I was promised if I stayed close to the Lord then, in the Lord’s time, I would be led to one of God’s choice daughters to marry.
Action: I tried to stay close to the Lord and repented quickly when I didn’t.
Evidence: I was led at the right time to one of God’s choice daughters.
So again, I invite you to write your own using the pattern taught by Moroni and Elder Bednar.
Remember, faith, action, and assurance can impact us over time.
Elder Packer shares this insight and challenge:
“Ordinances and covenants become our credentials for admission into His presence. To worthily receive them is the quest of a lifetime; to keep them thereafter is the challenge of mortality.” [17]
I did this needle point when I was first married. I found this poem much later that teaches a valuable principle in our spiritual journey.
My life is but a weaving
Between my God and me;
I may not choose the colors,
He knows what they should be;
For He can view the pattern
Upon the upper side,
While I can see it only
On this, the under side.
Sometimes He weaveth sorrow,
Which seemeth strange to me;
But I will trust His judgment;
And work on faithfully;
'Tis he who fills the shuttle,
He knows just what is best;
So I shall weave in earnest
And leave with Him the rest.
At last, when life is ended,
With Him I shall abide,
Then I may view the pattern
Upon the upper side;
Then I shall know the reason
Why pain with joy entwined,
Was woven in the fabric
Of life that God designed. [18]
[1] Marvin J. Ashton, “I Am an Adult Now,” Ensign, May 1987.
[2] Neal A. Maxwell, “Willing to Submit,” Ensign, May 1985.
[3] Boyd K. Packer, “How to Survive in Enemy Territory,” Seminary Centennial Broadcast, Jan. 22, 2012
[4] Ether 12:5.
[5] Ether 12:6; emphasis added.
[6] JST, Hebrews 11:1; emphasis added.
[7] Joseph Smith Jr., Lectures on Faith, (Standard Works LLC, Sept. 9. 2009), 1:9.
[8] David A. Bednar, “Seek Learning by Faith,” Ensign, Sept. 2007; emphasis added.
[9] JST, Hebrews 11:1.
[10] Alma 14:25.
[11] Alma 14: 26.
[12] Alma 14: 26-27.
[13] See Helaman 5:4-5; 9-14.
[14] Helaman 5:18-19.
[15] See Alma 17-26.
[16] D. Todd Christofferson, “Why Marriage, Why Family,” Ensign, May 2015.
[17] Boyd K. Packer, “Covenants,” Ensign, May 1987.
[18] “Life’s Weaving {Author Unknown},” All Poetry, uploaded 2009, https://allpoetry.com/poem/4898791-Lifes-Weaving--Author-Unknown--by-Katie-Lazette