I would like to thank Sister Bjorn for that beautiful musical number, Hannah for the scripture, and Kiersten for her prayer. I also want to thank the many people who work every week to make devotional a success. They have been so kind and encouraging as I’ve prepared for today.
I hope that some of you got the chance to visit the devotional discussion board this past week. There were many inspirational stories and thoughts shared. Thank you to everyone who participated. What a blessing.
I am humbled to be standing before you today. I am grateful to have my husband and family members here to support me. I am also grateful to many of my co-workers for their encouragement.
I appreciated Brother Steve Price’s devotional talk last week. He taught us what a miracle it is to have our Heavenly Father, the Savior, and the Holy Ghost in our lives. His message fit perfectly with what I have prepared to talk about today. I particularly liked the following statement that he made:
With Christ and our Heavenly Father, there are no random events. They are in the very details of our lives. [1]
The first thing that came to my mind when I was trying to decide what to talk about was, “Talk about the people I see every day on their cell phones, some with their ear buds on, who step out into traffic without ever looking.” By a raise of hands, how many of you have seen this happen? Okay. Now, how many of you have done this?
When I have seen this situation, I have wondered if the pedestrians are even aware there are cars coming.
It is to this thought that I have chosen to talk about today: being aware.
Ever since President Russell M. Nelson announced the changes to home and visiting teaching earlier this year in the April general conference, I have had the impression we are being asked to be more aware of others. Let’s listen together again to what our prophet said when he made the announcement:
We have made the decision to retire home teaching and visiting teaching as we have known them. Instead, we will implement a newer, holier approach to caring for and ministering to others. We will refer to these efforts simply as “ministering.”
Effective ministering efforts are enabled by the innate gifts of the sisters and by the incomparable power of the priesthood. We all need such protection from the cunning wiles of the adversary. [2]
Did you hear the prophet’s words “newer, holier approach?”
I would like to offer some thoughts on how being aware of others, ourselves, and our Savior might help us as we strive to find “newer [and] holier approaches to caring for and ministering to others.” [3]
I would like to start by sharing a story related by Stephen R. Covey in his book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. He said:
I remember a mini-paradigm shift I experienced one Sunday morning on a subway in New York. People were sitting quietly—some reading newspapers, some lost in thought, some resting with their eyes closed. It was a calm, peaceful scene.
Then suddenly, a man and his children entered the subway car. The children were so loud and rambunctious that instantly the whole climate changed.
The man sat down next to me and closed his eyes, apparently oblivious to the situation. The children were yelling back and forth, throwing things, even grabbing people’s papers. It was very disturbing. And yet, the man sitting next to me did nothing.
It was difficult not to feel irritated. I could not believe that he could be so insensitive as to let his children run wild like that and do nothing about it, taking no responsibility at all. It was easy to see that everyone else on the subway felt irritated, too. So finally, with what I felt like was unusual patience and restraint, I turned to him and said, “Sir, your children are really disturbing a lot of people. I wonder if you couldn’t control them a little more."
The man lifted his gaze as if to come to a consciousness of the situation for the first time and said softly, “Oh, you’re right. I guess I should do something about it. We just came from the hospital where their mother died about an hour ago. I don’t know what to think, and I guess they don’t know how to handle it either.” [4]
Brother Covey said:
Can you imagine what I felt at that moment? My paradigm shifted. Suddenly I saw things differently, and because I saw differently, I thought differently, I felt differently, I behaved differently. My irritation vanished. I didn’t have to worry about controlling my attitude or my behavior; my heart was filled with the man’s pain. Feelings of sympathy and compassion flowed freely.[5]
End of story.
I am the second to youngest of five children in my family. When I was 13 years old, my sister Joyce, who was just 3 years older than me, and our neighbor who was her best friend were killed in a car accident on the way home from a high school football game. As you can imagine, it was devastating to my parents and to our family.
There are two things I vividly remember about that night. I remember the moment my father told my younger brother and me that Joyce had been in a car accident and that she had died. The next thing which has always stuck with me was watching my little brother clinging to my mother, crying, while she was trying to greet the many people who started coming to our home. The news of the accident had traveled quickly through the ward. My parents had barely made it home from the hospital and broken the news to my brother and me before people started to come to our home to express their sympathy. Someone that I did not know took my little brother and me down the hall to a bedroom. We sat alone, shut away in the bedroom with each other crying, and waited for what seemed a long time before the crowds cleared and our mother was able to come and comfort us.
As an adult, I recognize that the outpouring of sympathy and the bringing of food was my parents’ friends’ and neighbors’ way of reaching out to be of service to our family. And I am not unappreciative of all of the kindness that was shown. However, I have often wished that we could have had some time to ourselves as a family to cry and be together as we tried to grasp the tragedy that had just hit us.
My reason for sharing these two stories with you is because sometimes I wonder if we are too quick to act and respond to others and their needs in ways that are familiar and comfortable for us, without taking the time to be aware and find out what is really needed.
You’ve heard the saying “Things are not always as they seem.” Just like the story of the man on the train, we cannot always know what circumstance someone is facing. And just like my own story, not always are our good intentions the right ones at the right time.
It could be easy for me to drop off a plate of cookies to someone I have been asked to minister to in my ward and think I’ve done a good service. Maybe I attached a catchy saying of encouragement or a scripture. But what if I had taken the time get to know the person first and found out they were diabetic or on a restricted diet? My service would probably not seem like a very good deed from their end.
In July of this year, Brother Nels Hansen gave a devotional talk about ministering. You may recall it. He asked some students to participate with him in making concentrated efforts to minister to people for two weeks, and then those students talked about what they had experienced and learned. As I listened intently to their responses, many of them commented about praying for help to minister and that they had been impressed to listen. I thought to myself, “Yes—listen, be aware. Be aware when the Spirit is prompting us. Be aware of other people, whether they are someone you have been specifically asked to minister to or whether they are someone you just met. Be aware.”
In D&C 76:19 we read:
And while we meditated upon these things, the Lord touched the eyes of our understandings and they were opened. [6]
Have you ever stopped yourself from being offended by a roommate, spouse, friend, or the seemingly rude clerk at the store and wondered if they are behaving that way because they are having a bad day? Maybe they didn’t sleep well. Maybe they have a sick child, or are worried about school, bills, or a relative.
Have you ever looked around at church and thought, “I wonder why so-and-so isn’t here?” Maybe you have a roommate that never seems to make it to church. Are we aware of who is missing? Do we know their story? Could they be in need of love and friendship?
I have several close friends who suffer from anxiety. There are days that they cannot physically leave their homes, not even for church. One friend is almost incapable of going anywhere alone, especially somewhere new. Are you aware of someone who just needs a friend to sit by? Are you aware that the smile or kindness you shared with someone might be all they needed to feel accepted and welcomed?
I believe that we all have something that is challenging for us. Some of us have many things. One of my challenges is that I am claustrophobic. It is hard for me to be in large crowds of people and in confined spaces. Sometimes just sitting in the middle of the row in church rather than on the end of the row or very close to it is a challenge for me.
I would like to share a few examples of things I have become aware of through experiences that I have had in my life. I know that I am more sensitive and aware of others because I have learned from these experiences.
My father died in 1982, when he and my mother were both 55 years old. She is now nearly 92. I have become aware that the loneliest part of her day is the evening hours, when most couples are settling down for the night. This has made me more aware that widows and widowers might appreciate a call during those lonely evening hours.
As I mentioned earlier, a dear friend of mine has anxiety and suffers from panic attacks. I am aware that if we go somewhere where there is a crowd or that they are not familiar with, it is easier for them if I stay close to them. I am aware of similar symptoms in others and hopefully have been a friend or calming influence when I’ve been prompted to sit by or talk to a stranger.
I am aware that if I smile at someone when I pass them, they will usually smile back.
I am aware that everyone is a child of God.
I believe we have been asked to go beyond what we have always done in the past, which might include some of the traditional responses and acts of service that we have done before. I believe we need to learn to pay attention, be aware, and listen to the promptings of the Spirit if we are going to be able to minister with a “newer, holier approach to caring for others.” [7]
I would now like to shift my focus to being aware of ourselves.
One evening recently my husband and I were relaxing after dinner in our family room. I was watching the TV, looking at Facebook on my iPad, having a text conversation with one of my children on my cell phone, and in the back of my mind thinking about giving this talk, all while sitting right next to my husband on the loveseat. All of a sudden I became aware he was talking about he and a friend going to Montana the next day so they could chase cows and horses. I said to him, “What in the world are you talking about?” He said, “I knew you were not listening to me. I’ve been talking to you for the last five minutes.” Honestly, we were literally sitting inches apart and I had not even been aware that he was speaking to me.
When I asked my husband to repeat the things that he had been talking about that I obviously missed, he said he had already forgotten. He’d just wanted to talk to me because I had been gone all day. He needed my attention, and I had missed the opportunity. It had slipped by.
In 2 Nephi we are told, “Take heed, and be quiet.” [8] And in Hebrews it says, “Therefore we ought to give the more earnest heed to the things which we have heard, lest at any time we should let them slip.” [9]
If we are not making an effort to be aware of those around us, how can we be aware if they need us?
I am sure you are all familiar with the story of the woman who was ill and touched the border of the Savior’s garment. Jesus said, “Who touched me?” [10] And Peter said, “Master, the multitude throng thee and press thee, and sayest thou, Who touched me?” [11] In other words, there were a lot of people around them all jostling to get close to the Savior. How in the world could they know who had touched him?
The Savior answered and said, “Somebody hath touched me; for I perceive that virtue is gone out of me.” [12]
The Savior was aware that there was someone who was in need. He knew from just a touch of His garment, someone had reached out for help. Are we aware of those around us who might be reaching out for our help?
In President Nelson’s announcement, he said:
Effective ministering efforts are enabled by the innate gifts of the sisters and by the incomparable power of the priesthood. [13]
I looked up the definition for innate. It means natural, inborn, or instinctive. President Nelson is telling us that we sisters have these gifts. Are we aware of our natural instincts? Are we confident to act on them? Are our instincts in line with the teachings of the gospel?
What are we doing to strengthen them? Are we praying for help to exercise these gifts? Are we aware that these gifts can help us to minister, sometimes before we even realize that we are?
Men, are you honoring the priesthood so that you have the “incomparable power” [14] to which President Nelson spoke? The Savior’s incomparable power helped Him to know when someone in need had simply touched His garment. The priesthood has power, and you have the priesthood. Are you aware of what that truly means and the responsibility we all have to honor that power?
I would like to say one other thing about being aware of ourselves.
Elder Robert D. Hales said:
The gospel plan requires giving and receiving. . . . Individuals in difficulty often say: “I’ll do it alone,” . . . “I can take care of myself.” It has been said that no one is so rich that he does not need another’s help, no one so poor as not to be useful in some way to his fellowman. The disposition to ask assistance from others with confidence, and to grant it with kindness, should be part of our very nature. [15]
Is it easier for you to do something for others than it is to let others do for you? Do you have a hard time asking for help or accepting help? Are we willing to let others minister to us?
In January of this year, my husband was hospitalized with a very bad case of pneumonia. Shortly after we were able to get him home, I was scheduled for surgery on my shoulder. The day before my surgery, a good friend of ours asked if they could bring dinner for us. I declined the offer.
The next day, our daughter went with me to the hospital because my husband was still recuperating. She asked if I had anything planned for dinner, knowing her dad was still too weak to do much and I would not be in shape to fix anything. I told her our friends had offered to bring dinner for us but I had turned them down so I would just figure something out.
She reminded me of something I know I myself have said to other people many times: we need to accept help from others when we need it, because they get blessed when they serve others, too. So, I asked her to contact our friends and tell them if the offer was still open, we would appreciate it if they brought us dinner that evening. At 6:00 pm the doorbell rang, and there they were, dinner in hand. In thanking them, I apologized for the short notice and inconvenience that I felt we had put on them. Our friend replied she had prayed that morning and had asked Heavenly Father to bless her to be aware of someone who needed her help. She said until our daughter had called, she had not been able to think of anyone. She thanked me for the opportunity to serve, which was an answer to her prayers.
In April general conference, right after President Nelson made the announcement about ministering, Elder Jeffery R. Holland in his talk said:
Brothers and sisters, we have a heaven-sent opportunity as an entire Church to demonstrate “pure religion . . . undefiled before God” —“to bear one another’s burdens, that they may be light” and to “comfort those that stand in need of comfort,” to minister to the widows and the fatherless, the married and the single, the strong and the distraught, the downtrodden and the robust, the happy and the sad—in short, all of us, every one of us, because we all need to feel the warm hand of friendship and hear the firm declaration of faith. [16]
I would like to reiterate his last statement: “we all need to feel the warm hand of friendship and hear the firm declaration of faith.”
I would like to end by talking about being aware of our Savior.
How do we become aware of our Savior? We can read the scriptures; we can study his life. We can learn about him by becoming aware of how He treated others.
Sister Linda K. Burton shared a story that I have always loved. The story is about Elder D. Todd Christofferson’s grandfather. I would like to read the story to you.
One evening a man called his five sheep to come into the shelter for the night. His family watched with great interest as he simply called, “Come on,” and immediately all five heads lifted and turned in his direction. Four sheep broke into a run toward him. With loving-kindness he gently patted each of the four on the head. The sheep knew his voice and loved him.
But the fifth sheep didn’t come running. She was a large ewe that a few weeks earlier had been given away by her owner, who reported that she was wild, wayward, and always leading the other sheep astray. The new owner accepted the sheep and staked her in his own field for a few days so she would learn to stay put. He patiently taught her to love him and the other sheep until eventually she had only a short rope around her neck but was no longer staked down.
That evening as his family watched, the man approached the ewe, which stood at the edge of the field, and again he gently said, “Come on. You aren’t tied down anymore. You are free.” Then lovingly he reached out, placed his hand on her head, and walked back with her and the other sheep toward the shelter. [17]
Just like the man in this story cared for his sheep, I believe our Savior feels the same way about us. He loves each of us, all of us, even those of us who have been wild or wayward. He is aware of those who need a personal touch or invitation, who need Him to take time to be aware of them individually. Jesus said, “I am the way, the truth, and the life” [18]—“ come, follow me.”[19] He is asking us to be like Him: to be accepting of others, and to be aware of them and their needs. He has shown us how to do it; we just need to be aware of His example and follow Him.
Sister Jean B. Bingham said in the last conference:
Sometimes we think we have to do something grand and heroic to “count” as serving our neighbors. Yet simple acts of service can have profound effects on others—as well as on ourselves. What did the Savior do? Through His supernal gifts of the Atonement and Resurrection . . . “none other has had so profound an influence [on] all who have lived and who will yet live upon the earth. [20]
But He also smiled at, talked with, walked with, listened to, made time for, encouraged, taught, fed, and forgave. He served family and friends, neighbors and strangers alike, and He invited acquaintances and loved ones to enjoy the rich blessings of His gospel. Those “simple” acts of service and love provide a template for our ministering today.
In Moroni 8 we read:
My beloved son, Moroni, I rejoice exceedingly that your Lord Jesus Christ hath been mindful of you, and hath called you to his ministry, and to his holy work. [21]
In April of this year, were we not all called to His ministry by our prophet?
I hope that as each one of us contemplates how we can “take heed to the ministry which [we have] received in the Lord,” [22] that we will be aware—be aware that we are all different, be aware that we need His guidance in order to minister to others, be aware of the promptings to act, be aware that we need to accept help, be aware of the Savior’s examples as He loved others, and above all, be aware that we are all His children, we need each other, and as President Nelson said, “We all need such protection from the cunning wiles of the adversary.” [23]
To this I humbly testify in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.
Notes
[1] Steve Price, “Inspire, Be Inspired,” Brigham Young University—Idaho devotional, Aug. 21, 2018.
[2] Russell M. Nelson, “Ministering,” Ensign, May 2018.
[3] Ibid.
[4] Stephen R. Covey, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, 1989, pages 30-31.
[5] Ibid.
[6] D&C 76:19.
[7] Russell M. Nelson, “Ministering,” Ensign, May 2018.
[8] 2 Nephi 17:4.
[9] Hebrews 2:1.
[10] Luke 8:45.
[11] Ibid.
[12] Luke 8:46.
[13] Russell M. Nelson, “Ministering,” Ensign, May 2018.
[14] Ibid.
[15] Robert D. Hales, “We Can’t Do It Alone,” Ensign, Nov. 1975.
[16] Jeffrey R. Holland, “Be With and Strengthen Them, ”Ensign, May 2018.
[17] Linda K. Burton, “The Power, Joy and Love of Covenant Keeping,” Ensign, Nov. 2013.
[18] John 14:6.
[19] Luke 18:22.
[20] Jean B. Bingham, “Ministering as the Savior Does,” Ensign, May 2018.
[21] Moroni 8:2.
[22] Colossians 4:17.
[23] Russell M. Nelson, “Ministering,” Ensign, May 2018.