The principle of agency is central to our Heavenly Father’s plan. We know from the scriptures the War in Heaven resulted from differences in how agency would be applied. Our agency gives us the right to choose. Those of us who followed Jehovah stood firm for the right to make our own choices. As a result, when Adam and Eve were placed in the Garden of Eden, in order to prove them to see if they would do whatsoever the Lord their God would command them they were given choices. So now, here we are in mortality for that same purpose. Life is full of choices. Some we make ourselves and sometimes circumstances are thrust upon us. For example, I didn’t choose to get to this stage of life and have my eyes such that I would need to wear glasses in order to see very clearly beyond the first row of this auditorium; but I did get to choose what kind of glasses I would wear once I got to this point. We start making choices at an early age and make a lot of choices throughout our lives. Some choices are easy while others are hard. Some are daily choices that are generally simple or routine. Some involve long-term commitments. Some are life-changing experiences that require significant thought and prayer.
Education, career choices, missions, marriage, and family are all big decisions. Today, I would like to have you think some about life’s most important choices. I will start by commenting a little on these big decisions just mentioned.
Making Choices
First, education and career choices. You students are all at this stage of life right now. Prophets have encouraged us to get as much education as possible. Why is education so important? The concepts of education, teaching, learning, knowledge, and intelligence are mentioned repeatedly throughout the scriptures. When you think we are going to have to know enough to create worlds some day, we have so much to learn. The Prophet Joseph instructed:
"Whatever degree of intelligence we attain unto in this life, it will rise with us in the resurrection."
"And if a person gains more knowledge and intelligence in this life through his diligence and obedience than another, he will have so much the advantage in the world to come."[1]
I believe one of the purposes of a college education is to stimulate an interest in learning and to help us learn how to learn. Real learning is both intellectual and spiritual. The Lord said, “Seek learning, even by study and also by faith.”[2] I think that means you cannot successfully get through your finals with faith alone; you also have to prepare by studying.
While it is important for you to study hard and do well in your classes, many of the facts and details you gain while here will either be forgotten or outdated over time. Although some things change, the process of learning remains fairly constant. The spark of intellectual interest will ignite the light in the lamp learning and open our minds to the many things there are to learn. Knowing how to think and to learn allows us to keep updated or to expand our knowledge by learning new things or to think about things in new ways. Thus, the desire to learn will continue to burn within us throughout our lifetime. And the more we learn the more we will marvel at the knowledge and majesty of God and His creations. If we value learning and make it an integral part of our being, we will keep growing and in the process, we will prepare to be of greater service to Him in His kingdom.
Elder Maxwell has stated:
"For the disciple of Jesus Christ, academic scholarship is…actually another dimension of consecration. Hence one who seeks to be a disciple-scholar will take both scholarship and discipleship seriously...For the disciple-scholar, the first and second great commandments frame and prioritize life. How else could one worship God with all of one’s heart, might, mind, and strength?"[3]
Touching on career choices, Elder Maxwell stated, “Whether one is a neurosurgeon, forest ranger, mechanic, farmer, or teacher is a matter of preference not principle.” So how do you choose when there are so many options? I am occasionally asked how I ended up in my current assignment and what I did to prepare for it. Honestly, it has been a rather circuitous route, as you could tell from my background given in the introduction. There is still more to the story. I knew what my aptitudes were and had confidence Heavenly Father would guide my footsteps as I sought His guidance in making choices. When I first started in college, I majored in chemistry and thought I wanted to go into dentistry and become an orthodontist. After a while, I reached the conclusion that for me personally I would be “down in the mouth” too much in that profession, so I decided perhaps I would become a chemistry teacher. Then I went on a mission.
After I came home my interests were different, so I changed my major to accounting and ended up going into the business world. Several years into my career, I started working for the Church.
One day after a meeting, President Hinckley invited me into his office and asked if I would take this assignment within the Church Educational System. Like you would be, I was anxious to do whatever the prophet wanted me to do, so here I am.
Although educational interests and career choices are a matter of personal preference, our Heavenly Father is interested in the details of our lives. He knows us and He understands what our talents are. He also knows where we need to be stretched in order to accomplish His purposes. He will help us as we make these important choices if we earnestly seek His guidance.
Elder Maxwell continued:
"While…career choices are clearly important, these do not mark your real career path…[you] have been invited to take the path that leads home…but the capacity to work and work wisely will never become obsolete. And neither will the ability to learn."
Next, let’s talk about missions. 4,748 of you have already served a mission. Others still have that opportunity waiting in your future. Who should serve a mission? Prophets have said that every young man should be worthy and serve a mission. It is a priesthood responsibility. Young women may serve, but they are not under the same obligation as the young men of the priesthood. More recently, prophets have indicated the importance of raising the bar of spiritual preparation. That does not mean there should be fewer missionaries. Simply put, there is a need for more and better prepared missionaries and proper preparation takes time.
If a person grows up with the idea in mind of just going on a mission, then he or she may not start thinking much about what is required for a mission until just a few months before meeting with the bishop and stake president for the interviews concomitant with the missionary recommendation. There is a big difference between going on a mission and being a missionary. A person who is concerned about becoming a missionary (or in other words, being a disciple of Christ) will always live the kind of life that will prepare him for life-long service, not just missionary service. Then when the call comes – a mission call or any other calling in the kingdom – whenever, wherever, or whatever the call may be, he will be ready.
Even if you are ready, it may not preclude you from feelings of anxiety, fear or inadequacy when the time arrives, however. I had prepared from a very young age to be a missionary. But on the day I was supposed to meet with my bishop to start the recommendation process, I started thinking about how significant the responsibility was. I had to make sure this was really what Heavenly Father wanted me to do and to receive His assurance that I could handle such a sacred calling. I found a secluded spot where I could be alone to ponder and pray and received a very clear message that serving a mission was the most important thing I could be doing with my life at that time.
Hopefully, each of you has been preparing for a long time. A pattern for the necessity for proper preparation is demonstrated by the law of the harvest. For example, if I want a fresh peach pie in September I can’t plant a tree in July and expect it to produce fruit immediately. The law of the harvest requires planting, watering, fertilizing, nurturing, pruning, and preparing. It takes significant planning and preparation over an extended period of time to produce the desired outcome. In the case of the peaches, it takes a number of years. The same is true in preparing to be a missionary or to enter the temple worthily. President Faust stated, “Making a wrong choice early may limit making the right choice later.”
If for some reason you have not been focused properly on preparing to serve, or have not been a member of the Church your whole life to have the advantages of gospel living, or have made choices that you think will preclude you from serving, now is the time to decide what you will do. There is no room for ambivalence. You cannot consciously put off preparing with the anticipation of getting things in order later. You must start today. If you prepare well now and serve faithfully, you will have no regrets later on. But you must thrust in your cycle with all your might.[4] This is the Lord’s work and He will not let you fail. Sometimes circumstances may preclude some from being able to serve a mission.
Does serving a mission or not differentiate a person as either a saint or a sinner? Not really. I know many returned missionaries who are not saints and many who never served a mission who are. However, those who do serve are generally better people than they would have been otherwise. The difference is the kind of attitude one has about such service. Missionary service, faithfully performed, helps lay a spiritual foundation to build upon the rest of our lives. Young men, there is no substitute for being prepared and serving faithfully. A mission will help you learn service, sacrifice, caring for others more than self, and hard work. Young women, if you are attracted to someone with those qualities and who will listen and respond to the spirit (not as well as you do, but at least he is learning), then encourage all the young men you know to serve a mission. And when the time comes, find a worthy young man to marry who is totally committed to serving the Lord.
Now, we come to marriage and families. The marriage decision is a critical choice. Heavenly Father’s plan anticipates each of us gaining eternal life. Eternal life means having an eternal companion and eternal increase. The scriptures tell us, “Neither is man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord.”[5] In order to attain the highest degree of the Celestial Kingdom, we must have a worthy eternal companion. How do you know when the choice is right? Some worry so much about making a mistake on such an important decision that they want to date every eligible person of the opposite sex trying to find the “right” one. Some procrastinate facing the decision even if the Spirit is beating them over the head.
One young woman was concerned because she was dating three different returned missionaries, all of whom proposed marriage. All three indicated they had prayed about it and each knew she was the right one for them. She went to see a priesthood leader to find out how it could be possible that three different young men could all get the same answer about her. The priesthood leader reported that she was a lovely young woman. When she walked into his office, he sensed it was obvious the inspiration these young men were receiving was hormonal revelation, not necessarily spiritual revelation. He then counseled this young lady appropriately, indicating that personal revelation is personal. No one is entitled to receive revelation for someone else unless there is a stewardship relationship. Between a man and a woman, that doesn’t happen until after marriage covenants are made. She needed to find out for herself who was right for her.
Sister Ardeth Kapp related the story of an experience while she was serving with her husband as he presided over a mission in Canada. Following a Zone Conference, a few of the sister missionaries gathered around to visit with her while the president was conducting interviews. These missionaries, I’m sure thinking about this important decision they would eventually make in finding a worthy husband, commented, “Sister Kapp, your husband is so wonderful. Where did you find a man like that?” Her response was classic. She said, “Well, he wasn’t like that when I found him.” The implication is that you don’t find a perfect spouse. You pray about it, you make a choice, you marry someone who has the potential of becoming perfect and then work together throughout life to make it happen.
If you follow all the right steps, does that mean you won’t have problems in your marriage? No. Life is full of challenges and problems. Getting married doesn’t end problems; it provides you with a companion to help you work through life’s problems together. We are guaranteed happiness, however, if we choose someone who inspires us to be better whenever we are either in their presence or away from them, someone who we want to spend eternity with, and together both are striving to live the gospel. I am grateful for a wife who is willing to overlook my faults and weaknesses; one who inspires and encourages me to be better. I can tell you from personal experience that with that kind of relationship, marriage keeps getting better all the time.
President Kimball said there is a pattern for success and happiness in life. It includes attending seminary, serving a mission, getting married and starting a family, finishing school, having a career, and serving in the Church. I understand that a significant number of students here at BYU-Idaho understand the plan.
Regarding having families and the nature of intimate relationships within marriage, the Brethren have stated:
"It is the privilege of married couples who are able to bear children to provide mortal bodies for the spirit children of God, whom they are then responsible to nurture and rear. The decision as to how many children to have and when to have them is extremely intimate and private and should be left between the couple and the Lord. Church members should not judge one another in this matter."
"Married couples also should understand that sexual relations within marriage are divinely approved not only for the purpose of procreation, but also as a means of expressing love and strengthening emotional and spiritual bonds between husband and wife."
I hope all of you had the opportunity to listen to Elder Nelson’s address to young adults he gave just over a week ago on Faith and Families. It was a powerful message related to these issues.
I encourage you to get a copy of his talk to study and to live by those principles in your own marriages.
There are a few who do not have the choice of whether they marry in this life. Sister Sheri Dew has stated that if worthiness, prayer, and temple attendance were all that were required to find an eternal companion, she would have been married a long time ago. For reasons known to the Lord, the opportunity for marriage seems to elude some while in mortality. If you find yourself in this category, just know that if you always remain faithful and worthy of all of the blessings God has to offer, He will not deny you the gift of a righteous eternal companion.
Throughout life, you will encounter many choices which will require important decisions. Personal perspective or the filter we use in evaluating and making major choices in our lives can have long-lasting consequences and make a significant difference in the outcome and the associated blessings. The decisions you make will determine the direction you go. Understanding who you are and the degree to which you rely on the Lord in making your decisions will influence not only the direction, but also your final destination. Elder Maxwell illustrated very clearly the importance of our choices when he stated, “If you don't choose the Kingdom of God first, in the end, it won't make any difference what you choose.”
Clearly, the most important choice we make then is to choose to follow God “at all times and in all things and in all places.”[6]
Choose to Follow Christ
When the Savior called his disciples from the shores of the Sea of Galilee, they had a choice to make. He said simply, “Follow me.” Each of us must decide will we choose to follow Him?
President Kimball gave some insights into the urgency of this invitation. His perspective was, “Leave the fishing nets and come, not after the fishing season, not after the next catch, but now!”
If we choose to follow Christ, we choose to be changed. It changes the way we look, the way we think, the way we act, and the way we talk. It changes the way we dress, the way we treat others, the way we honor our covenants, and the way we fulfill our callings. It changes the way we see ourselves, the way we see others, and the way we see the world. It changes the way we make choices in our lives.
All of us here chose to follow Christ in our premortal existence. As a result, we were changed from our first estate to this mortal second estate. Unfortunately, some who followed Christ then got to mortality and chose to change sides! What irony. After being valiant in one sphere of our existence, why would anyone throw it all away in this sphere? Obviously, the person who makes those choices doesn’t understand who they really are or there is some aspect of the doctrine of Christ they do not fully understand. After rejecting the father of lies once in their lives, they start to listen to and perhaps believe in what he has to offer. One of our roles as members of the Church is to live our lives so we become living examples of having faith in Christ. We need to teach by precept and example the blessings that come from continuing to follow Him. We know that if we choose to follow Christ faithfully during mortality, we will have glory added upon our heads for ever and ever.[7]
When we choose to follow Christ, we must learn to become like him. If we want to become like Christ, we have to develop Christ-like attributes. Many of these Christ-like attributes are described in Moroni 7. They include things such as being meek, lowly of heart, kind, humble, not puffed up, not easily provoked, thinking no evil thoughts, rejoicing in the truth – not in iniquity, believing all things, hoping all things, enduring all things, being full of faith, hope, and charity.
As we become more Christ-like, we are worthy to take His name upon us, which we covenant to do at baptism and then thereafter whenever we partake of the sacrament. What does it mean to take upon us the name of the Savior? Selecting a name for a child according to Hebrew custom was an important and sacred occasion. Many names included reference to Elohim or Jehovah as either a prefix or a suffix to the individual’s name, for example, Jeremiah, Daniel, and Jonathan or Hannah, Rachel, and Sariah. The anticipation was that the person would reflect upon the nature of God and acquire His characteristics and emulate His attributes in their daily living. As we take upon us the name of Christ, we should reflect upon His nature, acquire His characteristics, and emulate His attributes in our lives. When you think about it in that context, it gives a renewed meaning to the commandment, “Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain.”[8]
The Savior always provides the perfect pattern. He said, “I have given you an example, that ye should do as I have done to you.”[9] As you think about the power of the atonement, if the Lord were to take upon himself each of our names, He would have a perfect understanding of our nature, character, and attributes; as well as all of our pain, sorrow, and sins. As we stand before Him in judgment, we will not be able to hide anything from Him, because He will understand everything about us perfectly.
Through the redeeming power of the atonement, He can literally change us. As Alma noted, we can receive His image in our countenances.[10] Each one of us needs to have this redeeming experience. Whether the change occurs early in our lives or later on, it must happen for every one of us.
However, I would caution, as did Alma, “do not procrastinate the day of your repentance until the end.”[11] President Packer stated:
"Some worry endlessly over missions that were missed, or marriages that did not turn out, or babies that did not arrive, or children that seem lost, or dreams unfulfilled, or because age limits what they can do. I do not think it pleases the Lord when we worry because we think we never do enough or that what we do is never good enough. Some needlessly carry a heavy burden of guilt which could be removed."
Through the atonement He allows us to see ourselves in a new light and to turn our hearts and will to God. And as Elder Maxwell has stated, “The submission of one’s will is really the only uniquely personal thing we have to place on God’s alter.”
Once our feet are planted on the straight and narrow path, we “must press forward with a steadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of hope, and a love of God and of all men.”[12] If we then hold firmly to the “rod of iron”[13] and “press forward, feasting on the words of Christ, and endure to the end, behold thus saith the Father, [we] shall have eternal life.”[14]
If we are firmly anchored in Christ, we will always be on safe ground. President Howard W. Hunter noted, “If our lives and our faith are centered upon Jesus Christ and his restored gospel, nothing can ever go permanently wrong. On the other hand, if our lives are not centered on the Savior and his teaching, no other success can ever be permanently right.”
Our constant focus should always be to strive to become more and more like Him in all aspects of our lives. The familiar Primary song summarizes how we should approach our discipleship to Him.
I'm Trying to Be Like Jesus:
I'm trying to be like Jesus, I'm following in His ways
I'm trying to love as He did, in all that I do and say.
At times, I am tempted to make a wrong choice, but I
Try to listen as the still small voice whispers,
Love one another as Jesus loves you.
Try and show kindness in all that you do.
Be gentle and loving in deed and in thought,
For these are the things Jesus taught.
Therefore, What
Here are just a few scriptural references to His teachings that indicate what the Lord promises to those who choose to follow Him.
"I, the Lord, am bound when ye do what I say; but when ye do not what I say, ye have no promise."[15]
"Prove me now herewith…I will open the windows of heaven, and pour you out a blessing, that there shall not be room enough to receive it.
"I will rebuke the devourer for your sakes, and he shall not destroy the fruits of your ground; neither shall your vine cast her fruit before the time in the field."[16]
"There is a law, irrevocably decreed in heaven before the foundations of this world, upon which all blessings are predicated.
"And when we obtain any blessing from God, it is by obedience to that law upon which it is predicated."[17]
"All saints who remember to keep and do these sayings, walking in obedience to the commandments.
"And shall find wisdom and great treasures of knowledge, even hidden treasures;
"And shall run and not be weary, and shall walk and not faint.
"And I, the Lord, give unto them a promise, that the destroying angel shall pass by them, as the children of Israel, and not slay them."[18]
"You shall have eternal life, which gift is the greatest of all the gifts of God."[19]
"Therefore, all that my Father hath shall be given unto [you]."[20]
The promises of the Lord are clear. The doorway to God's blessings turns on small hinges. The choices we make now, today, will determine the blessings we eventually will receive tomorrow.
It is left up to us what we will choose to do. God does not judge us on our abilities, but on our choices. If we desire to inherit the blessings of God, we must strive to become more Christ-like and follow Him. I will conclude with the words of a hymn that convey this spirit.
More Holiness Give Me:
More holiness give me, more strivings within;
More patience in suffering, more sorrow for sin;
More faith in my Savior, more sense of his care.
More joy in his service, more purpose in prayer.
More gratitude give me, more trust in the Lord;
More pride in his glory, more hope in his word;
More tears for his sorrows, more pain at his grief;
More meekness in trial, more praise for relief.
More purity give me, more strength to o’ercome;
More freedom from earthstains, more longing for home.
More fit for the kingdom, more used would I be;
More blessed and holy, more, Savior, like thee.
May we choose to be more like Him. We know that he is coming and "When he shall appear we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is... may we be purified even as he is pure."[21]
Notes
[1] Doctrine and Covenants 130: 18-19
[2] Doctrine and Covenants 88:118
[3] Luke 10:27, emphasis added
[4] Doctrine and Covenants 4
[5] 1 Corninthians 11:11
[6] Mosiah 18:9
[7] Abraham 3:26
[8] Exodus 20:7
[9] John 13:15
[10] Alma 5:14
[11] Alma 34:33
[12] 2 Nephi 31:20
[13] 1 Nephi 8:19
[14] 2 Nephi 31:20
[15] Doctrine and Covenants 82:10
[16] Malachi 3:10-11
[17] Doctrine and Covenants 130:20-21
[18] Doctrine and Covenants 89:18-21
[19] Doctrine and Covenants 14:7
[20] Doctrine and Covenants 84:38
[21] Moroni 7:48