Brothers and sisters, it is an amazing experience to stand before you today. The invitation to speak to you is one of which I have worried about, studied for, prayed over, and desired to know how to appropriately respond to. I pray now for the windows of heaven to open that you might hear the things that the Lord would have you hear and that I may say the things He would have me say in a way that would be pleasing to Him and helpful to you.
I love BYU-Idaho! It has changed my life, and I know it can and will change yours, too. I have worked for and with some of the greatest men and women of this generation. You have the opportunity to study and learn from them both through their words and their examples. Indeed, we are a very blessed group!
I love to be happy! Don't you? It seems to me that I spend all of my time trying to be happy. In fact, I think all of my choices are centered around my desire to be happy. Two years ago at this very pulpit Elder Jeffrey R. Holland delivered a talk entitled, "Living After the Manner of Happiness." He said,
". . . your best chance for being happy is to do the things that happy people do. Live the way happy people live. Walk the path that happy people walk. And your chances to find joy in unexpected moments, to find peace in unexpected places, to find the help of angels when you didn't even know they knew you existed, improves exponentially."[1]
What a beautiful formula for happiness: "Live the way happy people live. Walk the path that happy people walk."[2]
In my life, I have known great times of happiness. One of the greatest joys of my life came just 11 days ago when my youngest son Tanner returned home from his mission to Thailand. Choices can lead us to happiness. I am confident that Tanner's decision to serve a mission will continue to bring him great happiness.
I have also known times of sorrow and sadness that came about because of choices that didn't lead to the path of happiness. I have had firsthand experience with some of the consequences of choices that don't lead us toward God, including the associated heartache and despair.
Early Life
When I was in sixth grade, my family moved to Jeddah, Saudi Arabia, for my father's work. I was 11 years old, and the country was just coming into its oil money. It was still very much a "third-world" setting; and to a young girl, it was very strange and hot! Although we had lived overseas a few years before that, nothing had prepared me for Saudi Arabia. Ultimately, however, in spite of different customs and a drastically different culture, I had a very good, healthy, and happy childhood in Jeddah. I was strong, knew who I was, had plenty of diversity in my life, and I wasn't afraid or ashamed to be a Mormon even in a country where I did not have one other LDS friend or know another LDS youth! During those early years, there was a time when we were perhaps the only members of the church in Jeddah.[3]
I had grown up in the Church, and my mother saw to it that the gospel was the center of the teaching in our home. My father was not active in the Church, so the only opportunity we had to take the sacrament was either when my older brother, who was at boarding school in Germany, was home for a visit or when a member of the Church who sometimes did business in a nearby community would come to Jeddah with his wife. During those visits we would have a sacrament meeting in our home. Those services were so joyful to my mother. I quickly learned that the sacrament was very important, and sacred and that it was a special privilege to have the opportunity to partake of it. My mother's joy taught me and instilled deep in my heart that there was something remarkable in her life and ours about partaking of the sacrament. So early in my life I knew in a very unique way that the gospel was related to our happiness. I knew that I was a child of God. And I knew that my mother knew that Joseph Smith was a prophet, that the Church was true, and that families could be together forever. And I wanted to know that, too.
My parents were extraordinary people, and my mother was exemplary in her faith and commitment to the Lord. She went to great lengths to make sure we had the gospel in our lives, that we lived in a home of unity and peace, and that we loved one another. She loved my father with all of her heart; and we knew it, and he knew it.
My father was also strong and good. He taught us to respect the country and people where we lived, to be honest and live lives of integrity, to work hard, and to take care of ourselves and sacrifice wants for needs. But he did one thing that made all of the difference in our lives in Jeddah--he enabled my mother to bring the gospel into a country where you couldn't declare that you were a Mormon; you couldn't receive through the mail materials focusing on Christ (like Church magazines); and you couldn't gather to worship outside your home. Had my father not been supportive, my mother wouldn't have been able to be such a powerful source for good in our lives.
Although my parents were in Jeddah for 22 years, I was there for only four years as I had to leave the country to go away for high school. The Saudis wouldn't let the Americans build a high school in their country. And so my friends and I left our families--most going to boarding schools in Europe or the United States. I was blessed to come to Idaho and live with my aunt and uncle in Idaho Falls. I was 15 years old and terrified, scared, and so terribly sad to be leaving my family. And while I was grateful to be with my aunt and uncle and they were good to me, I had lost my familial identity. I was once again in a new culture, a new place, and feeling very alone. I stayed active in the Church during those years, but when I left high school I didn't know myself as well as I had in Jeddah and it didn't take long before the path I chose was not "living after the manner of happiness."[4]
Post High School
I didn't go straight to college after high school. Instead I went to work, and through that work I ultimately let myself get very distracted by the world and by voices who didn't speak truth and certainly didn't believe and trust in God. In a very short time, I put at risk not only myself but my future family. I put myself in danger of losing my eternal destiny. I had pulled up my anchor from the security of the teachings of my mother and had begun to drop my anchor in the sandy sediment of uncertainty and indecision.
Fortunately, the Lord never left me. He continued to reach out to me and whisper truth to my heart. Ultimately, because of the power of the Savior's love and my parents' constant pleas and faith, many rescues came into my life, ranging from personal spiritual experiences to the Lord sending tender mercies and even angels to assist.
The Rescue
During those years, the Lord repeatedly reached out to rescue me through a pattern of interventions that, over time, saved me. I would like to share a few of the rescues that defined my path. I will then share some of the choices that had to be made in order for the rescues to effectively change my life and move me forward on the path of happiness.
Rescue #1: A New Life
The first rescue came with the birth of our oldest daughter. She brought with her the resounding testimony that we are children of God--that she was and is a daughter of God. She was perfect and filled with light, and her life gave my life new meaning and purpose. My heart was instantly changed as I remembered who I was and my desires returned to the teachings of my mother and the gospel of Jesus Christ. Through my daughter I felt the love of the Savior flood my heart and bring new hope.
Rescue #2: Time to Move
The second rescue came nearly two years later when I removed myself and my daughter from a situation that was not good for either of us. It required physically driving away from Texas in the middle of the night with my little two-year-old. On that drive and through what seemed to be endless tears, I felt the hand of heaven guiding our path and protecting us straight into the arms and security of a loving and supportive family.
Rescue #3: Time to Change
The third rescue came as I dealt with getting my life back on the path to God. It included repentance, lots and lots of do-overs, and was enabled by the power, mercy, and grace of God. And, again, it was enhanced by my incredible parents and family.
Rescue # 4: Second Chances
The fourth rescue came when I met and married my husband, Jeff. We were a very unlikely match, or so I thought, but by the end of our first "blind" date, I felt something in his presence that I had never felt before, and I found myself not wanting to say goodbye. The Lord was with me on that journey; and eight months after we were married, Jeff was baptized a member of the Church. We were sealed in the Los Angeles Temple a year later after he legally adopted our daughter. Today this good man helps me to do things I never dreamed I would have the chance or opportunity to do. I am eternally grateful to him for his sacrifices for our family and for me, for his steadiness and consistency in life, and for his loyalty and devotion to our family and to the Lord.
Rescue #5: A Work in Process
The fifth rescue is still in process. It is linked to BYU-Idaho for here, at this school, in this special and set apart place, I feel the love of the Lord and the goodness of His grace and mercy every day. I experience firsthand the enabling power of the Atonement as I serve in my current assignment. I literally receive help from Heaven as the Lord brings people and resources into my path to expedite His work and to enable me to do more than I should be able to do.
Here at BYU-Idaho all of us have the opportunity to witness the Lord leading the work of this university. We have the opportunity to gather and gain strength from other like-minded people and to be taught by people of faith and belief. We have the opportunity to learn about things secular and things eternal. And we have the opportunity to be in an environment where the Holy Ghost can be felt in every classroom, activity, and home if we will choose to invite Him. We have the opportunity to come to know the Savior and ourselves much more intimately.
Choices to be made
Every time the Lord rescued me, I had to make a choice. The Lord was and is literally standing at the door and knocking,[5] but all of us have to choose to open the door and let him in.
Following are five choices that I made associated with my pattern of rescues. These are choices that took me back to the teachings of my mother and the reality that I am a child of God. These are also choices I am still making today and invite you to make in your personal rescue as well.
Choice #1: Remember Who You Are
You are in a new time and place in your life. Remember who you are and where you came from. You are literally a child of God. I had to remember who my mother taught me to be, who I already knew I was.
Part of this mortal journey is coming to know yourself--your personal likes and dislikes, your gifts and talents, your strengths and weaknesses. I believe that BYU-Idaho is one of the best places on the earth to come to know yourself through the courses you study, the activities you participate in, the wards and stakes you serve in, and in how you live your life every day. BYU-Idaho is also a place where you can learn how God talks to you and grow confidant that you are literally His son or daughter and that He has a plan for you and your life. I pray that you will use this time to focus on becoming your best self as you follow in the path of the Savior. Quoting Elder David A. Bednar from this October's general conference:
We come to know the Savior as we do our best to go where He wants us to go, as we strive to say what He wants us to say, and as we become what He wants us to become.[6]
Choice #2: Choose to Believe and to Exercise Faith
When you choose to believe, you exercise faith. And when you exercise faith, your belief will become knowledge. Elder Holland said:
The easiest and the earliest [step of coming unto Christ] comes simply with the desire of our heart, the most basic form of faith that we know. "If ye can no more than desire to believe," . . . that is enough to begin. Just believing, just having a "molecule" of faith . . . that simple step, when focused on the Lord Jesus Christ, has ever been and always will be the first principle of His eternal gospel, the first step out of despair.[7]
I love that. Faith is the first step out of despair, and it starts with a desire.
Faith also enables us to enjoy the blessings associated with obedience.
This past summer I was able to connect with some dear friends, Bruce and Julia Hobbs. They had just returned from serving over the California Rancho Cucamonga Mission. I asked Brother Hobbs what the one thing was that had been the most helpful to him from his previous employment at BYU-Idaho in his service as a mission president. He responded that it was doing what Elder Bednar had taught him. This is how Brother Hobbs described it:
When you are invited to act by the Lord's servants, do it. Go forward with faith and act even if you do not understand the reason in that moment. As you submit your will to God and act in accordance with His teachings, He will enlarge your capacities and increase your understanding. You may not fully know the reason why, but as you press ahead with steadfast faith in Christ, the Lord will send peace and reassurance that you are doing His work.[8]
Acting in faith allows Father in Heaven to teach us powerful lessons that we couldn't learn any other way. When I first felt the Lord reaching out to rescue me, I had to choose to exercise faith to follow Him. I had to choose to believe. I had to be patient with myself and willing to allow the Lord to tutor me. I pray you will choose to believe and exercise faith in all aspects of your life.
Choice #3: Choose to Change
If you are in a bad place, a place where the light doesn't seem to be shining in your life or if you are feeling despondent or dejected--make a change, move. There are two things I often reflect on that Elder Bednar taught me during his time as president of this university that can help.
#1: He drew a line and labeled one side of the line the Lord's side and the other side of the line the Adversary's side. He then taught that we are either on the Lord's side or we are on the Adversary's side. As we turn away from the Adversary and move closer to the Lord, the Adversary comes to have little or no influence on us.[9] And so I say to you today, if you are not on the Lord's side--move. Get up and walk away--make a change. My rescue is a witness that the deeper you go into the Lord's side of the line, the safer and better able to experience happiness you will be.
#2: In 1998 Elder Bednar gave a talk on this campus entitled, "In the Path of Their Duty." In that talk he shared a principle that continues to inform my thoughts and actions today. He referenced four phrases from the scriptures: Double minded; Double heart; Divided heart; and Double tongued."[10]
He said: "Each of these . . . describes the problems and consequences associated with saying one thing and doing another--with attempting to serve two masters--with dividing our loyalty and allegiance between God and the world."[11]
Are you saying one thing and doing another? Are you attempting to serve two masters? Are you dividing your loyalty and allegiance between God and the world? If so, get up and move--make the change. It is time to turn away from the world and toward the divine nature you inherited from God. It is time to be true to yourself and go further into the Lord's side of the line.
Choice #4: Repent and Seek Forgiveness
As you make changes in your life, don't be afraid to take that step of faith and repent. Elder Holland said that the word "repent [is] perhaps the most hopeful and encouraging word in the Christian vocabulary."[xii] I know firsthand that there is nothing more liberating and freeing than giving your sins and burdens to the Lord. You don't have to feel the despair of poor choices.
Elder Dale G. Renlund said:
"Real repentance must involve faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, faith that He can change us, faith that He can forgive us, and faith that He will help us avoid more mistakes. ... Without the Redeemer, the inherent hope and joy evaporate, and repentance becomes simply miserable behavior modification. But by exercising faith in Him, we become converted to His ability and willingness to forgive sin."[13]
As you repent, it will be important to remember to forgive yourself. That may be the hardest part. But I can promise you that through true repentance you can become a new person. Through His power and Atonement, you can move on so completely that you will struggle to even remember the details of the life you left behind.
An important even vital part of repentance is experienced each week as we partake of the sacrament and renew our covenants with the Lord. As we exercise that sacred privilege, additional strength and protection will come.
In this past general conference, President Henry B. Eyring said:
"Of all the blessings we can count, the greatest by far is the feeling of forgiveness that comes as we partake of the sacrament. We will feel greater love and appreciation for the Savior. ..."
"The blessing of love we receive will make it easier for us to keep the commandment to 'always remember him.'"[14]
I know today what my mother knew almost 50 years ago in Saudi Arabia--that through the sacrament, power comes into our lives--including His power to cleanse and heal and His "power to do all things"[15] by faith. I hope and pray that you will do all you can to never miss the opportunity to partake of the sacrament.
Choice #5: Choose to Be Happy
Coming to work at BYU-Idaho is a joyful experience for me every day. I know that from the moment President Gilbert enters the office I am going to feel his energy and excitement for the work of this university and his love for you students and for all those who work here. And I know when I see Sister Gilbert and their children that same energy and enthusiasm is going to be present. I honestly don't think I have never met a happier family than the Gilberts. When you ring their doorbell, you will be greeted by a flood of joy, smiles, and giggles.
The Gilberts are not happy because their life is easy, rather they are happy because they choose to be happy. And being around them and watching them has taught me a lot about how they do that. There are three things that I watch the Gilberts do routinely that I offer to you as a mini formula for happiness.
First: follow the Savior. Choosing to be happy means following the Savior. Go where He wants you to go; do what He wants you to do.[16] The Gilberts have moved their family three times in ten years and in the process let go of friends and other responsibilities to go where the Lord has called them. Let the Savior be your guide, your light, and your example. Follow the Savior.
Second: be positive. Choosing to be happy means that when you encounter negative situations, you don't dwell on what you can't do. Look for the possibilities and the things you can do. Every day I watch President Gilbert deal with challenges and hard situations, but he never takes a negative approach. He thinks in terms of seeing the opportunities and creating solutions.
Third: serve others. Choosing to be happy is a choice to serve others. President and Sister Gilbert model this for you and for me every day. They don't say, "We are too busy." Instead they reach out to serve and take time to lift and help others. They are genuine and sincere. They think of and remember the one.
When you choose to be happy, you will see and feel the light within you growing and the right people will be drawn to you--whether it is someone you want to date or marry, someone looking for a good employee, or maybe even someone seeking the gospel.
The Atonement
To experience the rescue and make the choices I have shared, each of us needs to utilize the power of the Atonement in our lives every day--both to repent and be forgiven and to be enabled to do hard things. The Savior is the perfect role model. His Atonement personifies His love for each of us. The Atonement is the reason for the joy I feel in my life and in my heart. It is what lets me become a new person and sink my anchor into the foundation of the Lord. It is what allows me to be rescued and to enjoy the journey of life. The Atonement is truly the greatest gift ever given to man and to me personally. It is personal, and it is infinite.
The Atonement takes ordinary men and women and allows them to do extraordinary things and become worthy in time to enter into the presence of God. It is what gives us strength to go through trials and endure. It is what heals us when we are broken. The Atonement is what allows our minds to stretch and learn when we don't think we can. It is what makes the difference in our lives between darkness and light--what turns our sorrows into joy, our weaknesses into strengths.[17]
The Savior is steady and true and sure. He came and continues to come to my rescue, and He wants to come to your rescue. He is at the door knocking, but we must choose to open the door and let him in. Choose to remember who you are; choose to believe and to exercise faith; choose to change; choose to repent; and choose to be happy.
I love my Father in Heaven. I am grateful to Him for His mercy and grace; for His son and His Atonement that blesses my life every day; for a mother who taught me truth and a father that even today continues to believe in me and provides strength and support; and to my wonderful husband and family who are a true source of joy in my life. And I am grateful for the opportunity to be here at BYU-Idaho with you where together we learn truth and how to live after the true manner of happiness.
And moreover, I would desire that ye should consider on the blessed and happy state of those that keep the commandments of God. For behold, they are blessed in all things, both temporal and spiritual; and if they hold out faithful to the end they are received into heaven, that thereby they may dwell with God in a state of never-ending happiness. O remember, remember that these things are true; for the Lord God hath spoken it.[18]
In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.
Notes
[1] Jeffrey R. Holland, "Living After the Manner of Happiness," BYU-Idaho Devotional Address, September 23, 2014
[2] Ibid
[3] Note: my personal memories are of no other members in our very earliest years in Jeddah. I do remember Lee Evans and his wife, but I am not sure when he was there. I know beyond a doubt that there were times when the only other person in the sacrament meeting was the gentlemen from Taif (which is who I referred to in this talk). I personally did not remember his wife coming with him, but my father did so I included that in the talk.
[4] Jeffrey R. Holland, "Living After the Manner of Happiness," BYU-Idaho Devotional Address, September 23, 2014
[5] Revelation 3:20
[6] David A. Bednar, "If Ye Had Known Me," General Conference, October 2016
[7] Jeffrey R. Holland, "Broken Things to Mend," General Conference, April 2006
[8] Bruce Hobbs, former BYU-Idaho employee, President of the California Rancho Cucamonga Mission, July 2016. Approval to use this was given by Bruce himself
[9] Note: approval to share this was given by Elder Bednar's assistant, Shauna Swainston
[10] David A. Bednar, "In the Path of Their Duty," BYU-Idaho Devotional Address, 1998
[11] Ibid
[12] Jeffrey R. Holland, "Broken Things to Mend," General Conference, April 2006
[13] Dale G. Renlund, "Repentance: A Joyful Choice, General Conference, October 2016; emphasis added
[14] Henry B. Eyring, "Gratitude on the Sabbath Day," General Conference, October 2016
[15] Alma 7:8
[16] Hymn 270
[17] Ether 12:27
[18] Mosiah 2:41