Think back with me. When I was your age, like many of you have experienced, I was a new high school graduate coming to college in Rexburg for the first time. Embarrassingly, I had committed to attending Ricks College before I ever realized it was not in Utah. I didn’t even know where it was. I was purely making this journey on the advice of my neighbor in Ohio: Wayne Marler.
Just before fall semester started, I landed at the Idaho Falls airport with another student that was also coming out to Ricks College from our Rootstown, Ohio, ward. I only knew three people in all of Idaho, and we were meeting two of those three people at the airport. My traveling companion climbed into the only available spot in the cab of the pickup truck, so I climbed into the covered bed with my luggage.
As we approached the first Rexburg off-ramp, on what was later described to me as “the highway,” I saw the roadside sign indicating this was the Rexburg exit. Peering through the small windows of the truck cap, I saw a hillside community surrounded by agricultural fields. At that moment, I became uneasy with the decision I had made to come so far for school as the reality set in that I was approximately 1,800 miles from home. What was I thinking?
Luckily, when I was dropped off in the parking lot of my apartment complex, about 200 yards from where I am standing today, I was immediately greeted by friendly college girls. (My wife made me say that.) I began to think to myself, “I think I might like it here!” And I was right! I had a fantastic student experience because of the gathering opportunities in classes, student wards, family home evening groups, devotionals, student study groups, campus activities, great roommates, and so much more. I found the words of Stephen W. Owen, the former Young Men General President, to ring true: “Never underestimate the strength that comes from gathering with others who are also trying to be strong.”1
We should not confuse the eternal principles of independence and self-reliance with the strength that comes from gathering. We are all interconnected in some way, and our actions have an impact on the people around us. When we focus only on ourselves and our own needs and desires, we miss out on the opportunity to build strong relationships with others and to create an environment of community and belonging.
There are many challenges in life that can make us feel isolated and lonely. Many people are more comfortable communicating through screens than in-person communication. Awareness is increasing of how social media can create a false sense of security and connection. In my opinion, we need real, human interaction to prosper.
Imagine a campfire burning brightly as all the logs are fully engulfed in flames. The flames, varying in intensity and size, wrap some logs more than others as the fire provides warmth and light for anyone or anything nearby. Eventually, logs break down from the fire. Large red coals slowly disintegrate into ash. At some point, a partially burning log is removed from the campfire and set aside in isolation.
As this log cools, the flames that were once dancing around the log slowly disappear. The embers that were once glowing brightly fade rapidly without other logs to contribute heat and flames. Ultimately, the log is now a charred log, no longer burning brightly or providing heat.
The brightly burning logs within the fire remind me of the strength and inclusive feelings we enjoy when we are working together toward a similar goal. When we are united as a community, we are like that log that is burning brightly in the fire. We provide support, light, and strength to one another. We help each other grow, develop, and get through difficult times. But like the charred log, when we become isolated from one another, we start to lose that warmth and light. We begin to feel alone, and we lose the strength that comes from being part of a larger community working toward a common outcome.
In last week’s devotional,2 Brother William Brugger shared a story of a young man he has been writing to for several years who is in prison. This young man has spent the past few years while incarcerated reading 443 books, earning two associate degrees, reading to other inmates, listening to podcasts, and preparing himself for his eventual release to be a contributing member of society and his family. He is clearly seeking the support, light, and strength that will help him get through isolated, difficult times.
As members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, we understand the importance of gathering. Our Savior has given us the following promise, as recorded in Matthew 18:20: “Where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.” When we gather to worship our Savior, we are strengthened and uplifted in Christ.
Now let me ask a couple of questions for all of us to ponder:
- How does this campfire analogy relate to the times of isolation we might experience in life? How does it make you feel?
- Are we fully jumping back into participation in all that the gospel offers, or are we keeping a foot still outside in isolation because we got comfortable there?
Altering our behavior can be challenging, especially when it comes to improving our participation in various groups we are a part of. One way to approach this change is to adopt the mindset expressed by the Chinese proverb, “Pearls don't lie on the seashore. If you want one, you must dive for it." Put simply, we must be proactive in our level of engagement within our groups, whether it be through contributing more, volunteering for assignments, or simply being more present in conversations. If we put in the effort to dive for the metaphorical pearls, we can not only increase our own contributions within our groups but also possibly inspire others to do the same. Change may not always come easily, but with a willingness to act, we can make a meaningful impact beyond just our campus community.
A week ago, on the devotional discussion board, I shared the scripture Matthew 18:20 and posed the following question: How have you become closer to Christ by gathering with other faithful saints throughout your life? Sarah Gibbons, a marriage and family studies major from Herriman, Utah, shared, “The more I learn about human nature vs nurture, the more I realize how vital our social interactions are . . . It helps us to develop healthy emotional, social, and physical skills. Social interactions are vital for our development from infancy into adulthood. Since gathering with others is vital to our well-being, even without religious contexts, I cannot help but believe that the benefits of gathering with other faithful Saints are magnified in religious settings.”
Another contributor, Hillary Bagley, wrote, “As I was growing up, my family moved quite a lot. One thing that I could always look to for a sense of stability was that we would be going to church that Sunday and I would get to have a built-in group of friends. Gathering with fellow Saints was so meaningful to me for social reasons back then. Gathering with fellow Saints is still social for me, but it is also truly uplifting spiritually. There have been times when testimony has been shared, in sacrament meetings or in a class, that has come as a direct answer to my prayers. I am so grateful that we have been commanded to meet together!”
How we interact with each other when gathering matters! Unity and how we treat others in group interactions can have a big impact on desired outcomes. President Russell M. Nelson provided outstanding guidance in the April 2023 general conference which can be related to our group interactions and behavior. Now let us listen to his inspired words:
"My dear brothers and sisters, how we treat each other really matters! How we speak to and about others at home, at church, at work, and online really matters. Today, I am asking us to interact with others in a higher, holier way. Please listen carefully. “If there is anything virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy” (Articles of Faith 1:13) that we can say about another person—whether to his face or behind her back—that should be our standard of communication.
If a couple in your ward gets divorced, or a young missionary returns home early, or a teenager doubts his testimony, they do not need your judgment. They need to experience the pure love of Jesus Christ reflected in your words and actions.
If a friend on social media has strong political or social views that violate everything you believe in, an angry, cutting retort by you will not help. Building bridges of understanding will require much more of you, but that is exactly what your friend needs.
Contention drives away the Spirit—every time. Contention reinforces the false notion that confrontation is the way to resolve differences; but it never is. Contention is a choice. Peacemaking is a choice. You have your agency to choose contention or reconciliation. I urge you to choose to be a peacemaker, now and always (see Moroni 7:3–4).
Brothers and sisters, we can literally change the world—one person and one interaction at a time. How? By modeling how to manage honest differences of opinion with mutual respect and dignified dialogue."3
Gathering is not just a social need, but also a spiritual one. It is essential to our spiritual growth and development. Elder Neil L. Andersen of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles said, “We need the ordinances and covenants we remember and renew each week as we take the sacrament. Our faith grows and develops as we regularly and consistently work to build our discipleship along with others who are as committed as we are.”4
Moroni recorded similar words approximately 1,600 years ago in Moroni 6:4–5 when he said,
"And after they had been received unto baptism, and were wrought upon and cleansed by the power of the Holy Ghost, they were numbered among the people of the church of Christ; and their names were taken, that they might be remembered and nourished by the good word of God, to keep them in the right way, to keep them continually watchful unto prayer, relying alone upon the merits of Christ, who was the author and the finisher of their faith.
And the church did meet together oft, to fast and to pray, and to speak one with another concerning the welfare of their souls."
As one who has gained a fond appreciation for the backcountry of the state of Idaho, I would like to talk about an impressive tree—the aspen. It is very abundant in this area. Aspen trees are unique in that they grow in large groves, with many individual aspen trees connected by a shared root system. This means that when you see an aspen grove, what appears to be many separate trees is actually a single, interconnected network.
Aspen groves grow quickly, with new shoots emerging from the roots and sprouting up as new trees. With time, these sprouting trees grow to full maturity, creating a large grove of trees that shades the forest floor. The leaves of aspen trees are a bright green color that turn to a brilliant yellow in the fall and capture the focus of rookie and professional photographers alike.
Now, what I find most intriguing about aspen trees is their interconnectedness. Beneath the ground, aspen roots spread out to create a vast network that enables trees in the grove to share resources. This allows the grove to thrive despite individual aspens facing challenges like disease and drought.
In the same way, we as active participants in the university community can gain strength and support from participating in all the various groups that make up our ecosystem. Whether it be online course groups, ward congregations, or in-class settings, we are all connected to a common root system through our pursuit of higher education and our faith in Jesus Christ.
The scriptures teach us about the importance of gathering in groups. In Doctrine and Covenants 20:55, we are instructed to "meet together often" to strengthen and encourage one another. Just like the aspen grove, we can share resources and support each other in times of need. Through our participation in groups, we can strengthen our faith, gain new perspectives, and receive comfort and guidance from those around us.
When we treat each other with kindness, compassion, and respect, we create a network that is like an aspen grove: sturdy, vibrant, and immovable. But when we act inward with selfishness or cruelty, we weaken our connections to one another and possibly risk the well-being of others.
Do you remember the neighbor in Ohio I mentioned who influenced me to attend Ricks College, Wayne Marler? He spent nearly four decades of his career in the Church Educational System. In January, I attended his funeral in Franklin, Idaho, where he and his wife retired. Franklin has a population of about 1,000 people. His daughter shared a story about him at the funeral. With the approval of his family, I would like to share this story with you today.
Wayne was battling cancer, and his daughter shared that she never recalled her parents missing church until his health began to rapidly decline this past Thanksgiving. With Christmas coming up (as it was on a Sunday), Wayne started to brainstorm how he could get to church since he was now in a wheelchair. He called up his son-in-law who lived nearby and asked him, “Do you have any kind of vehicle or something we could use to get me to church? Hey, don’t you have an enclosed snowmobile trailer?” His son-in-law responded that he had purchased one a few weeks earlier. And Wayne responded with a creative, problem-solving attitude, “Can’t you guys push me up that ramp into the back of that trailer so I can get to church?” And his son-in-law said that they could make that happen for him.
Several members of his family were required in the trailer to help stabilize his wheelchair as they made their way. It was only a short distance from his home to the church. And he was able to attend his final sacrament meeting with members of his ward and family before departing this mortal existence a little over two weeks after Christmas.
Wayne loved being with the Saints. He devoted his life to the Church and to his family. He missed the warmth and strength of worshiping Christ together with his family, neighbors, and friends. He missed the personal interactions of the members of his ward, even though it had only been a few weeks he wasn’t able to attend.
President Dallin H. Oaks shared, “In church we associate with wonderful people striving to serve God. This reminds us that we are not alone in our religious activities. We all need associations with others, and church associations are some of the best we can experience, for us and our companions and children. . . . Church attendance gives us the strength and enhancement of faith that come from associating with other believers and worshiping together with those who are also striving to stay on the covenant path and be better disciples of Christ.”5
Attending Ricks College as a student had a significant impact on my life. It is my hope that your student experience will nurture and strengthen your foundation through the many opportunities to gather during your time at BYU-Idaho. Just like the interconnected root system of the hardy aspen grove, we can strengthen one another. Let us commit to staying connected and to supporting each other through both good times and bad. As we do so, we will be like that log that burns brightly in the fire, providing warmth, light, and strength to all who are around us. Finally, let me close with the question I shared earlier, substituting the word “will” in the place of the word “have”: How will you become closer to Christ by gathering with other faithful Saints throughout your life? In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.
Notes
- Stephen W. Owen, “Be Faithful, Not Faithless,” Ensign, Nov. 2019, https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/ensign/2019/11/13owen.
- William Brugger, “Seek Ye Out the Best Books,” BYU-Idaho Devotional, June 13, 2023, https://www.byui.edu/devotionals/william-brugger.
- Russell M. Nelson, “Peacemakers Needed,” Liahona, May 2023, https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/liahona/2023/05/47nelson.
- Neil L. Andersen, “Allowing Your Faith in Jesus Christ to Guide Your Life,” BYU Speeches, Jan. 17, 2023, https://speeches.byu.edu/talks/neil-l-andersen/allowing-your-faith-in-jesus-christ-to-guide-your-life/.
- Dallin H. Oaks, “The Need for a Church,” Liahona, Nov. 2021, https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/liahona/2021/11/18oaks.