When I was in high school, I had my entire life planned out. I was going to graduate, get married, have kids, and then live happily ever after. Don’t feel bad if your plans weren’t as detailed as mine. As you can see, I spent a lot of time planning what my future was going to be. Much to my surprise, things did not happen exactly as I had intended. Take this devotional for example. Never in a million years did I expect to be standing at this podium sharing my thoughts, personal experiences, and testimony with each of you. Regardless, I am so thankful to be here with you today.
One thing that didn’t go according to plan was getting married. It’s not always easy to be a single person in a family focused church. I have served in several Primary and Young Women callings working with the youth but having no children of my own. When situations like this occur, I find comfort in the words of Elder Dallin H. Oaks.
Because of things over which we have no control, we cannot plan and bring to pass everything we desire in our lives. Many important things will occur in our lives that we have not planned, and not all of them will be welcome. . . . Even our most righteous desires may elude us or come in different ways or at different times than we have sought to plan.
If we have faith in God and if we are committed to the fundamentals of keeping His commandments and putting Him first in our lives, we do not need to plan every single event—even every important event—and we should not feel rejected or depressed if some things—even some very important things—do not happen at the time we had planned or hoped or prayed.
Commit yourself to put the Lord first in your life, keep His commandments, and do what the Lord’s servants ask you to do. Then your feet are on the pathway to eternal life. Then it does not matter whether you are called to be a bishop or a Relief Society president, whether you are married or single, or whether you die tomorrow. You do not know what will happen. Do your best on what is fundamental and personal and then trust in the Lord and His timing.[1]
Trust is firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something. It is hard to trust that things will work out when we can’t see the whole picture or see into the future. I have a poem often quoted by Corrie Ten Boom hanging by my desk. Let’s listen to these powerful words.
And this poem tells something of my life, and maybe something of your life, too.
My life is like a weaving Between my God and me. I do not choose the colors He worketh steadily. Sometimes He weaveth sorrow; And I in foolish pride Forget He sees the upper But I the underside. Not ’til the loom is silent And the shuttles cease to fly Will God unroll the canvas And explain the reason why. The dark threads are as needful In the skillful weaver’s hands As those threads of gold and silver In the pattern He has planned.[2]
Often in life, we only want the beautiful side of the tapestry to show. We don’t want people to see the underside with its tangles and knots. We don’t want to appear vulnerable or in need of help. We must trust that God sees the whole picture and knows what is best for us.
Several years ago after my mission and while I was still full of adventure, I had the opportunity to go to Austria to work as a nanny. After one semester of German, I thought I should be good to go. I flew into Switzerland and caught a train to take me to Innsbruck. Unfortunately, I got on the wrong train because I ended up going further into Switzerland—all the way to the end of the line. I got off the train to ask for some help, but nobody spoke English and my one semester of German hadn’t made me quite as fluent as I had hoped. I stood on the train platform telling myself to keep it together, don’t cry, it will be alright. I have never felt more alone in my life. I was totally lost, alone and afraid. Completely overwhelmed, I couldn’t think of anything to help myself other than pray. After standing on the platform for what seemed like forever, a woman showed up and she spoke a little English. Actually, she spoke a lot more English than I did German. That lovely lady took the time to help me get on the right train and I was eventually able to get to my original destination.
Many of you have probably had the same feeling of being lost, alone, and afraid when you came to school. Some of you came from very far away and had to rely on the Lord and the kindness of strangers to help you get where you were supposed to be.
We aren’t expected to just live life, but to enjoy it. Sometimes this can be difficult when we feel like we are barely getting through the living part. I have been fortunate to be able to regularly read and enjoy a quote by Charles Swindoll that my parents have had hanging on their refrigerator for years. It says:
The longer I live, the more I realize the importance of choosing the right attitude in life. Attitude is more important than facts. It is more important than your past; more important than your education or your financial situation; more important than your circumstances, your successes, or your failures; more important than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than your appearance, your giftedness, or your skills. It will make or break a company. It will cause a church to soar or sink. It will make the difference between a happy home or a miserable home. You have a choice each day regarding the attitude you will embrace. Life is like a violin. You can focus on the broken strings that dangle, or you can play your life’s melody on the one that remains. You cannot change the years that have passed, nor can you change the daily tick of the clock. You cannot change the pace of your march toward your death. You cannot change the decisions or the reactions of other people. And you certainly cannot change the inevitable. Those are strings that dangle! What you can do is play on the one string that remains – your attitude. I am convinced that life is 10 percent what happens to me and 90 percent how I react to it. The same is true for you.[3]
A few years ago, I bought a house. Soon after moving in, I ripped down the big, old curtains that were covering a large and beautiful picture window in my living room. I ordered some more modern and fashionable blinds. Because the window was so big, I knew that one set of blinds would be too heavy. Easy fix, I thought. I carefully measured the window, divided that measurement in half, and confidently ordered the blinds that I had chosen. After getting them put in place, I pulled the string to let them down. Much to my surprise, they only covered the window halfway down. When I ordered them, I not only divided the width of the blinds but also the length. I’m sure you can imagine my attitude in that moment. I was a bit frustrated to say the least.
When things go awry, we are more likely to learn valuable lessons. One of the main lessons that we can receive from our mistakes or mishaps is to lean on the Savior for support and for answers. In last week’s devotional, Brother Philip Crane taught us that, “Too many people are giving up on church, school, and life because they are tired of feeling like they are falling short. They have tried in the past, but they continually feel like they are not good enough. Don’t quit when you fall. Get up, keep trying. Don’t look for excuses and blame others. Look to the Savior and rely on His strength.”
Let’s listen to a few snippets of a talk by Elder Jeffrey R. Holland.
My declaration is that this is precisely what the gospel of Jesus Christ offers us, especially in times of need. There is help. There is happiness. There really is light at the end of the tunnel. It is the Light of the World, the Bright and Morning Star, the “light that is endless, that can never be darkened.” It is the very Son of God Himself.
Always remember in that biblical story that He was out there on the water also, that He faced the worst of it right along with the newest and youngest and most fearful. Only one who has fought against those ominous waves is justified in telling us—as well as the sea—to “be still.” Only one who has taken the full brunt of such adversity could ever be justified in telling us in such times to “be of good cheer.” Such counsel is not a jaunty pep talk about the power of positive thinking, though positive thinking is much needed in the world. No, Christ knows better than all others that the trials of life can be very deep and we are not shallow people if we struggle with them. But even as the Lord avoids sugary rhetoric, He rebukes faithlessness and He deplores pessimism. He expects us to believe![4]
It is a comfort to know that we are not shallow people if we struggle. Often when things go wrong in life, we become fearful, and things go wrong a lot more often than any of us ever hope—or imagine—they will. Elder Derek A. Cuthbert said:
Anciently, the Lord spoke to Isaac, saying, “Fear not, for I am with thee.” The admonition to “fear not” was clear and direct and meaningful. The promise that “I am with thee” was equally plain and direct and powerful. Down through the ages the same admonition, the same assurance, has been extended to every living soul who is willing to qualify. And yet, fear is prevalent throughout the earth. It stifles initiative, saps strength, and reduces efficiency. It weakens faith, brings doubts, and begets mistrust. Indeed, it tends to impede the very business of being. How negative, frustrating, and futile is fear.
He continues:
Just like people, fear comes in all shapes and sizes. There are those who fear people, others fear things, many fear the future, and some fear the past. Where do you fit in? One lesson we have to learn is that fear is the beginning of defeat. On the other hand, courage is the beginning of success. We gain courage by the realization that we have a lot going for us. We derive strength from the knowledge that the Lord is with us. Again, concerning the future, is it unknown? The Lord has told us much about the future through his prophets. The pattern of the scriptures is, first a commandment then a promise. Providing we live our lives in harmony with the commandments of God, there is no place for fear regarding the consequences. “Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.”[5]
The first day on my mission, all the new missionaries and their companions were taken to the town center and told to go and talk to someone. I was completely terrified. How did I ever think that I could serve a mission? I do not go out of my way to talk to people in general. I have always been shy, so to go talk to a complete stranger was very hard. It took a lot of faith to start talking and the more I exercised my faith, the less fear I had. I have a saying written in my scriptures: when fear is up, faith is down, and when faith is up, fear is down.
I appreciate the comments made on the devotional discussion board. One student, Tyler, said that “When things in life are hard, I respond first with fear. I believe that is the natural man’s response. After I have time to process what is happening, I can respond with faith—not faith in myself but faith in the strength I can receive from Christ.”
I recently heard a story about a man named Horatio Spafford. He was a prominent American lawyer and invested heavily in real estate. The great fire of Chicago in 1871 destroyed most of his investment properties. Seeking solace and comfort, two years after the fire, he and his family planned to go to Europe on a vacation. Horatio ended up sending his wife and daughters ahead because he needed to stay home and do some work.
While crossing the Atlantic, the ship his family was traveling on was struck by an iron sailing vessel, killing 226 people—including all four of his daughters. His wife miraculously survived. While sailing to join his wife in England, he wrote the hymn “It Is Well with My Soul.” I’d like to share part of that hymn with you.
When peace, like a river, attendeth my way, When sorrows like sea billows roll; Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say, It is well, it is well with my soul. Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come, Let this blest assurance control, That Christ hath regarded my helpless estate, And hath shed His own blood for my soul.[6]
Is our attitude like Horatio Spafford’s? Can we develop our character to accept and learn from the things in our lives that are, in each of our opinions, wrong? I say yes. I say that even when the ride is bumpy, it can be enjoyable. And when the road smooths out, we can appreciate the trip that much more. We can look for—and find—the happiness in the circumstances that are presented to us if we remember that He is in charge; that we are here to act, not to be acted upon; that we are to be of good cheer. I loved President Gordon B. Hinckley. He was the epitome of good cheer. Years ago, he shared a portion of William Ernest Henley’s poem “Invictus”[7] and I would like you to hear all four short verses of this inspiring message.
Out of the night that covers me, Black as the pit from pole to pole, I thank whatever Gods may be For my unconquerable soul. In the fell clutch of circumstance I have not winced nor cried allowed. Under the bludgeonings of chance My head is bloody, but unbowed. Beyond this place of wrath and tears Looms but the horror of the shade, And yet the menace of the years Finds, and shall find me, unafraid. It matters not how strait the gait, How charged with punishments the scroll, I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul.[8]
Henley, the author of the poem, knew what he was talking about and spoke from experience. He had one of his legs amputated at the age of 16, caused by complications from tuberculosis. They later told him that he would need the other leg removed as well. A distinguished surgeon was able to save that leg after multiple surgeries and during his recovery, he was inspired to write that poem. His thoughts, in short, were that it is the individual who determines what their future will bring to them by the way they see their lives and prepare to face the realities that will arise. Incidentally, the word “invictus” is Latin for “unconquered.” Again, attitude is a key component. We will decide through the way we live during our mortality what port our ship will dock in for the eternities.
We can choose to tell ourselves that—while life can be difficult—we can also remember that the sun—S-U-N—will rise again tomorrow; that no matter how bad the day before was, it will freely share its light with each of us the next day. We can also remember that the Son—S-O-N—also rose. We can remember that He freely gave His life and His light to each of us; that no matter how bad the day before was, He stands ready to lead and to guide us. The sun shares its light with the just and the unjust alike. The Son died on the cross for all of us—the just and the unjust. We all benefit from both the sun—S-U-N— and Son—S-O-N. And let’s face it: we are all unjust to some degree. He was perfect; He is perfect. We are trying to be like Him and we can remember that it is His will—not ours—that will be done.
We can—and should—stand ready and resolute in the face of disappointment, of discouragement, and of trials and tribulations. We can—and should—seek to help others who may be struggling with their own pains and sufferings. Service to them will remind us of the fact that we can be like Him, even in some small way. Sometimes our plans don’t work out the way we thought they should, and sometimes they do. Often, however, we learn that whatever road we are on is exactly the one we needed to be traveling, if only for the fact that we are given the opportunity to meet someone on the same road that needed us to lift them up or them to lift us.
Only our Heavenly Father knows what the tapestry of our life looks like. He wants us to see the beauty in life and not focus on the knots on the underside. We need to look forward with an eternal perspective until we can see the whole picture. I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.
Notes
[1] Dallin H. Oaks, “Timing,” BYU Devotional, Jan. 29, 2002.
[2] Corrie Ten Boom, “The Hiding Place,” Bantam, 1920, https://www.dropbox.com/sh/1vegbw69gixln3j/AAA9xpq28eLM5uDq0G_-KOF2a?dl=0.
[3] Charles R. Swindoll, “Attitudes,” The Little Rebellion, 2, Charles R. Swindoll, Inc., 2012, used by permission, www.insight.org.
[4] Jeffrey R. Holland, “An High Priest of Good Things to Come,” Ensign, Nov. 1999.
[5] Derek A. Cuthbert, “The Futility of Fear,” BYU Devotional, May 1, 1984.
[6] Horatio Spafford, “It is Well with My Soul,” Hymns, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/It_Is_Well_with_My_Soul#cite_note-7.
[7] See Gordon B. Hinckley, “First Presidency Christmas Devotional 3 December 2000 ‘My Redeemer Lives,’” Ensign, Feb. 2001.
[8] William Ernest Henley, “Invictus,” Book of Verses, 1888.