Brothers and sisters, what a blessing it is to be gathered together today in this beautiful building at BYU-Idaho. I hope that we appreciate all the blessings of being here. I have spent many hours prayerfully trying to determine what I might say that will help you to strengthen your testimony of the Lord Jesus Christ. I hope you will learn something that will help you in your personal discipleship. I pray that the Spirit of the Lord will be with us today.
I have chosen to address the topic of contention. We live in a time where contention rages and, unfortunately, has become the norm. Not accomplished so much with swords and shields or other weapons of war, as in the past, it largely happens because we have the ability to communicate instantly with friends, family, strangers, and enemies. It is perpetuated by reports in the news media and because we can instantly reply to news items, articles, tweets, posts, snaps, and pins, often without any accountability. The back-and-forth nature of contention seems endless. He said this. She did this. They are haters. That is not politically correct. My predecessor was a failure. My replacement is inept. The right is crazy. The left is evil. People even contend over someone's perceived apathy because they are silent about an issue or event. Contention is found everywhere. It's found in race, religion, culture, politics, socioeconomic status, nationalism, reality TV drama, and in allegiance to sports figures or teams or even comic book characters. After all, everyone knows that Superman is stronger than Batman. Right? For many, contending with others seems like a game, and some are not happy unless they can argue some point or belief. Whatever the situation, contention is prevalent in our day and age.
I was very interested in a news article I recently read. It stated that prior to the most recent presidential election, computer hackers in Russia created 180 false Twitter and Instagram accounts recognizing this as "another opportunity to sow discord in America." They seized on divisive issues "intent on exploiting existing divisions and social movements in the United States" and centered "around highly visible tension points in American politics...that have become a flashpoint between conservatives and progressives."[1] This was done to create contention and even affect the outcome of the election. They were throwing fuel on the proverbial fire of contention.
Details from Jesus Christ Visiting the Americas
Contention must have weighed heavily on the Savior's mind when He visited the Nephites, because it was one of the first things that He addressed. The Savior descended from heaven, was introduced by Heavenly Father, declared who He was, and invited those present to come to Him so that they would know for certain that He was the Christ. He then spoke to them about baptism. There must have been some disagreement among them, because the Savior said:
"And according as I have commanded you thus shall ye baptize. And there shall be no disputations among you, as there have hitherto been; neither shall there be disputations among you concerning the points of my doctrine, as there have hitherto been.
For verily, verily I say unto you, he that hath the spirit of contention is not of me, but is of the devil, who is the father of contention, and he stirreth up the hearts of men to contend with anger, one with another.
Behold, this is not my doctrine, to stir up the hearts of men with anger, one against another; but this is my doctrine, that such things should be done away."[2]
A few important things stand out to me regarding the Savior's admonition. First, He tells us where contention comes from. He calls the devil the "father of contention." It is important to recognize, when involved in contention ourselves or witnessing contention between others, that it comes from Satan. Second, Satan stirs up the hearts of men through anger and causes them to contend one with another. When we become angry and our anger dictates what we think and say and do, we do the bidding of the adversary. Thirdly, the Savior proclaims that contention is not His doctrine and that it should be done away with. He doesn't say a little anger is fine, or it's okay to argue just a little, or we're justified in contending if we are offended, or so on. He simply says, "Such things should be done away." This is a straightforward commandment.
The scriptures are full of examples of contention. Many are found in the Book of Mormon. Laman and Lemuel were constantly contending. They were argumentative, condescending, abrasive, and generally faithless. They resorted to physical harm and even sought to take the life of their brother Nephi. Think about the many anti-Christs. Remember Sherem, Nehor, and Korihor? What were they like? They were learned, had a perfect knowledge of the language, used much flattery, and taught false doctrine. They sometimes used physical force. Finally, they were dishonest. Before their deaths, they admitted that they had deceived the people because Satan had instructed them to say those things that "were pleasing unto the carnal mind."[3] Think of the many wars chronicled in the Book of Mormon. Talk about contention. Do you remember names like Kishkumen, Gadianton, Amalakiah, Ammoron, and Giddianhi, the leaders of the Lamanites and the Gadianton robbers? They were continually stirring up their people to anger against the Nephites. In the end, none of their actions brought them happiness. I believe the fundamental thing that we must understand regarding contention is that, simply put, it does not lead to happiness.
I ask you to honestly reflect on your own lives. When you are angry at someone else--be it a family member, a friend, a roommate, a romantic interest, an instructor, a church leader, or anybody else--are you truly happy? When there is contention at home or in your apartment, how does it feel? How about those of you who are returned missionaries? What was your level of success and satisfaction when in a companionship where you worked hard to get along well with each other and were genuinely of "one heart and one mind"?[4] As a missionary, was there ever a feeling of contention in your companionship? What was that like? How effective were you in either of these situations? What did you do to change a contentious situation, and what were the results?
I would like to draw on some personal experience regarding two similar situations. Both had the potential to end contentiously. First, a little background. I have worked, and still do, as a whitewater rafting guide for 38 years.
This has created many great memories with my family, fellow guides, and clients. One of the rivers that I guide on is the Main Fork of the Salmon River. It is a wild and scenic river that travels through 81 miles of the rugged Frank Church River of No Return Wilderness, only a few hours away from Rexburg.
Our trips typically last five or six days. Because this is such an awe-inspiring place--with wild rapids; white, sandy beaches; dense forests; and towering peaks--the Forest Service has to regulate travel to protect it from overuse. A permit system is in place for both commercial and private users.
Each group that launches must have a permit and reservations for the campsites that they desire to stay at. The Forest Service supervises the campsite reservation system. A group can stay at a camp only if they have it reserved.
Certain camps are very popular and, when reserved, can truly enhance a trip.
A few years ago, I was guiding some young men and their leaders from a ward in Utah. It was near the end of a long day that was rainy and cold. As we got close to our reserved camp, I was relieved. Everyone was cold and tired. Getting off the boats, drying out, and having some hot chocolate would revitalize us. Imagine my surprise and alarm, and maybe a little bit of anger, when we came around the bend and saw another group of boaters occupying our camp. We pulled into shore just above them, and I went down to let them know we had reserved the camp. When I arrived in their camp, which was really our camp, I had the distinct impression that this was not going to go well. I was met by a middle-aged man, who was unkempt, with long hair, numerous piercings, and tattoos. I was trying not to judge. He was finishing a beer. The biggest red flag was the black Megadeth T-shirt he was wearing. I introduced myself and showed my permit and said that his group was camping at our site, to which he replied, "We are not moving!" At least, that is the clean version. My anger started to rise, and I replied in a way that, although not profane, conveyed my unhappiness. If his group would just pack up their stuff and vacate the camp, we would be good. He found that to be amusing. I was not amused. This went on, back and forth, for a couple of minutes. My parting words as I left their, or our, camp were something like "It's people like you that give private boaters a bad name with commercial outfitters." That's the end of the story. We didn't camp at our reserved site, and I was not happy, although, in retrospect, I have wondered how I might have treated the situation differently.
Contrast this with a similar situation that occurred a few years earlier, on a different trip but on the same stretch of river. Again, we arrived at our reserved camp, only to find that it was already occupied. The group explained that someone had taken their reserved site, so they moved downriver to the next available site, knowing that it might already be reserved. They were profusely apologetic and offered to pack up their gear and leave. I discussed the situation with the crew, and we agreed that it would be best to invite them to stay at our camp for the night. They were very grateful. We went about our business, and they went about theirs. By the end of the night, we were all sitting around the same campfire, swapping stories and sharing desserts. I was happy!
Let's look at one example from the scriptures of a people that lived in happiness. The Nephites who lived after the Savior appeared to them, established His Church, and then departed lived without contention.
"And it came to pass in the thirty and sixth year, the people were all converted unto the Lord, upon all the face of the land, both Nephites and Lamanites, and there were no contentions and disputations among them, and every man did deal justly one with another...
"And it came to pass that there was no contention among all the people, in all the land; but there were mighty miracles wrought among the disciples of Jesus...
"And it came to pass that there was no contention in the land, because of the love of God which did dwell in the hearts of the people...
"And how blessed were they! For the Lord did bless them in all their doings; yea, even they were blessed and prospered until an hundred and ten years had passed away; and the first generation from Christ had passed away, and there was no contention in all the land."[5]
This state of happiness continued with the Nephites for two hundred years. Imagine two hundred years of peace. No fighting, strife, rumblings, or contention. Many characteristics of this people allowed them to have such joy, peace, and happiness, but the one that stands out to me, regarding a lack of contention, is "the love of God which did dwell in the hearts of the people." These people had charity, the "pure love of Christ."[6] Can you imagine living in a state like this? Is it possible? Could you have a home, an apartment, a ward, or an office that is free of contention? What would you individually need to do to achieve this?
The Anti-Nephi-Lehies Burying Their Swords
Let me relate another Book of Mormon story that I love. It shows what a change of heart can do to a once contentious people.
"And as sure as the Lord liveth, so sure as many as believed, or as many as were brought to the knowledge of the truth, through the preaching of Ammon and his brethren, according to the spirit of revelation and of prophecy, and the power of God working miracles in them--yea, I say unto you, as the Lord liveth, as many of the Lamanites as believed in their preaching, and were converted unto the Lord, never did fall away.
"For they became a righteous people; they did lay down the weapons of their rebellion, that they did not fight against God anymore, neither against any of their brethren...
"And it came to pass that they called their names Anti-Nephi-Lehies; and they were called by this name and were no more called Lamanites."[7]
What helped this group become converted unto the Lord? One of the first things that I think is important is that they believed what they were taught. They had faith. It says that they became a righteous people. The righteous repent of their bad behavior. They put away their weapons of war and did not fight against God or their brethren anymore. Truly this was a people who were converted! Just how converted were they? Further examination reveals to us they were so converted that they would rather suffer death than shed the blood of another. They said, "Let us stain our swords no more."[8] They recognized that the stains of sin had been removed from them through the Atonement of Jesus Christ and likened their forgiveness unto the brightness of their clean and unstained swords. "And thus we see that, when these Lamanites were brought to believe and to know the truth, they were firm, and would suffer even unto death rather than commit sin; and thus we see that they buried their weapons of peace, or they buried the weapons of war, for peace."[9]
Isn't this transformation from wickedness and murder to humility and meekness miraculous? Do you think that they were truly converted? A further study shows that many of them, even 1,005 souls, died rather than break their peace-loving commitment to never stain their swords with the blood of their brethren. This transformation was complete and led them to lives of happiness and peace as they continued to live their conversion. It was so complete that they lost their desire to contend.
Have you ever been in a situation where you have felt wronged by someone else? What is typically your first response? Do you have feelings of anger? Do you seek for revenge? Are you going to teach that person a lesson? If one of these is your first reaction, then ask yourself whom you are following? Am I following the Savior, or am I following the adversary, the father of contention? Let's take a look at the Savior's response to contention. What He says is marvelous. It really goes against human nature, which is the natural man in each of us. These instructions, by the Lord, must be very important, because they are found both in the Sermon on the Mount in the New Testament and in what He taught to the Nephites during His ministry to them. He says this:
"Ye have heard that it hath been said, An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth:
"But I say unto you, That ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also.
"And if any man will sue thee at the law, and take away thy coat, let him have thy cloak also.
"And whosoever shall compel thee to go a mile, go with him twain.
"Give to him that asketh thee, and from him that would borrow of thee turn not thou away.
"Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbour, and hate thine enemy.
"But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you.[10]
Listen closely to the action verbs that the Savior uses in verse 44: "love," "bless," "do good," and "pray." How can we do this? It's really hard. I mean, we're expected to pray for those who treat us badly. That defies common sense, right? But what an invitation! What a challenge! We can put these admonitions into action right now. We can do as the Savior says. We can turn the other cheek, we can go the extra mile, and we can pray for those that despitefully use us. We can use kindness. We can forgive. We can say "I'm sorry."
I recently had a conversation with a student who called the Student Honor Office to report a problem. This conversation was like many that come to our office during a semester. I listened to the report. The reporting student had had some problems with one of her roommates and felt disrespected. It was, in her mind, serious enough to involve the Student Honor Office. As I listened, I felt prompted to turn to Matthew and read to her the passage of scripture that I have just read. I asked if she would like to hear what the Savior had to say about her situation. She agreed, and we read together His counsel. I asked her how she felt. We both agreed that it looked great on paper but could be a little more difficult in reality. I asked her if she had, like His counsel instructed, ever prayed for her roommate. She said that she had not. I invited her to find a quiet place, to get on her knees, and to ask Heavenly Father if He would bless her roommate to be able to deal with the hardships in her life. I encouraged her to ask that her heart might be softened as she truly heeded His counsel. She accepted without reservation, and then our conversation ended. I'm not sure how the situation eventually worked out, but in the few minutes that I interacted with this sister, her demeanor changed. Initially, she was animated and agitated. When we were finished, her attitude was different. Although I'm sure our interaction turned out differently than she thought it would, she was calm and seemed eager to act on what we had explored together.
On the discussion board this past week, I read many wonderful and compelling responses to the question I posed. My sincere thanks to all who posted! One response that really touched me came from Amanda Dahl, a BYU-Idaho student from Flower Mound, Texas. Her post said this: "A few weeks ago[,] my roommate and I got in a fight. The [S]pirit left immediately as I was saying rude things to her through text and she was getting more and more upset at me over text message. That afternoon I apologized and asked for forgiveness of the things I said. For the next few days I was trying to come up with a way to make our relationship better. I made her a name map. I wrote her name in the middle and wrote positive things about her all around it. This helped me think of positive thoughts toward her and helped my roommate feel that I cared about her. As I keep serving my roommates[,] the [S]pirit is brought to the home[,] and the love of Jesus Christ dwells in our apartment." I commend Amanda for recognizing that she needed to do something about the situation, for having the humility necessary to say she was sorry and then finding a meaningful way to serve her roommate. What a great example!
Brothers and sisters, I hope that you have learned something from the things that you have heard today. I hope that you have discovered something, even just one thing, that you can do that will help you to avoid contention. I hope that the Spirit has whispered something to you that will help you commit to being a peacemaker. Perhaps you will ask for Heavenly Father's help in better controlling your anger, in not being offended by another's words, or setting a better example for those around you in both word and deed. The possibilities are endless if you will listen to the Holy Spirit. Finally, in closing, I would like to relate one last story.
Recently I was in Hawaii for a conference. While in our opening meeting, Dr. Debbie Hippolite-Wright, vice president of student development and services at BYU-Hawaii, told a story that she remembers from her youth. It is a story that had a profound impact on her and one that illustrates beautifully the subject that I have addressed today.
Dr. Hippolite-Wright's story takes place in New Zealand. Debbie, as I will now refer to her, is of Maori descent. One of the tribes she is a part of is Ngati Toa, which means "warrior tribe." The other is Ngati Koata. Koata is a woman's name which reflects the esteem and value of women leaders in Maori culture. She is, in her Maori tradition, a "woman warrior."
She tells the story of when she was a child going Christmas shopping. At Christmastime, every child of the family was given 10 cents for each year of their life. This money was to be used to buy Christmas presents for siblings. Because she was 11 years old, Debbie had the grand total of $1.10 to stretch and purchase gifts for her seven siblings. Debbie's parents--her mother a fair-skinned Maori woman with red hair and blue eyes, and her father a Maori with a far darker complexion--split the children into two groups, each taking one group shopping in order to provide an element of surprise for the other group's Christmas morning. Debbie's mother guided her little ones through the local Woolworths department store to shop.
Upon completing their shopping, as Debbie's mother, towing four young children, left the Woolworths, they were confronted by two white men who were obviously drunk. When the two men saw this light-skinned woman leading the obviously darker-looking Maori children out of the store, their prejudice surfaced. After spewing vile profanities at this family, one of the men came up to Debbie's mother and spit right in her face. When 11-year-old Debbie saw this, the "woman warrior" in her took over. She ran toward the drunkard with all of her might, her arm raised, poised to hit him or do what damage she could to the man. Just as she was about to strike, she felt a strong, firm grasp on her arm that stopped her. It was her mother, who quickly led Debbie and her siblings away to safety.
Once Debbie's courageous mother had ensured that her precious little ones were safe, she stopped, wiped the spit from her face, got close to her daughter, and, in a clear, resolute voice, said, "You can always tell when someone has class. Class has nothing to do with how much money one has or about someone's social status; it is how you treat people. Besides that, we are members of the Church of Jesus Christ." In the midst of this frightening experience, she was teaching Debbie and her siblings how to react to difficult situations.
I express thanks to Dr. Hippolite-Wright for allowing me to share this story. It illustrates the wisdom and experience of a woman who has learned to, as the Savior said, "Turn the other cheek." There will be times in all of our lives when we will be spat upon. This could happen physically but will more likely happen figuratively. How will we react? How will you react? Will we be able to "stain our swords no more with the blood of our brethren," in a figurative way? Will we figuratively bury our weapons of war? Will you be able to "turn the other cheek" or "to go the extra mile?" Can you "love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you"? Will you remember that you are a member of the Church of Jesus Christ? It is my hope that we will always remember. I invite you to follow the guidance of the Savior. I invite you to put into practice His teachings that, while looking good on paper, are really much harder to live. If, despite this, you try in whatever way to do so, my promise to you is that the love of God will, in reality, dwell in your heart, and you will find joy and happiness as heaven smiles down upon you. In the sacred name of Jesus Christ, amen.
Notes
[1] Ryan C. Brooks, "Russian Troll Efforts Extended to Standing Rock," Buzzfeed News, Google Newsstand, Oct. 23, 2017, https://newsstand.google.com/articles/CAIiECNkwFB0YMy8BohK4VTG_S8qFwgEKg4IACoGCAowjJ0RMKC-AjCp1rAF
[2] 3 Nephi 11:28-30
[3] Alma 30:53
[4] Moses 7:18
[5] 4 Nephi 1:2, 13, 15, 18
[6] Moroni 7:47
[7] Alma 23:6-7, 17
[8] Alma 24:12
[9] Alma 24:19
[10] Matthew 5:38-44