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Principles of Peace and Happiness

Elder Sabin and I are pleased to share a few thoughts with you today. I'm so happy that each of you have the tremendous opportunity to learn and grow as you pursue your education on this wonderful BYU-Idaho campus. I hope you will each strive to become the best version of you by making an effort to grow in all aspects of your life—spiritually, socially, and intellectually—during your time here. President Russell M. Nelson has affirmed, “The Lord loves effort, because effort brings rewards that can’t come without it.” [1] 

Some of those rewards may be in the growth of your character with increased patience, determination, courage, humility, selflessness, and compassion. Efforts to strengthen your testimony can yield the rewards of increased faith, hope, peace, confidence, and perspective. Focused educational efforts can bring increased understanding, knowledge, and competency.

Individual improvement and growth are part of the Lord’s plan for us, but it is not always easy. President Nelson has counseled, “Be patient with yourself. Perfection comes not in this life, but in the next life. Don’t demand things that are unreasonable, but demand of yourself improvement. As you let the Lord help you . . . He will make the difference.” [2] 

Since we each experience life with our own unique abilities and challenges, we need to focus on doing our own personal best and not someone else’s. This principle reminds me of a story written by Stephen Robinson called The Parable of the Divers. It is about an experience he had as a young boy when he and his friends participated in a diving competition as part of their community’s summer recreation program. The boys were all pretty good divers with their own backyard pools and diving boards. 

Another young boy from a less affluent part of town also entered the competition. Although he didn’t have his own pool, Stephen admitted that what this boy did have was “raw courage” as he repeatedly gave his best effort.

While Stephen and his friends all did crisp but safe swan dives, back dives, and jackknives, with arched backs and pointed toes, the lone scrappy diver attempted back flips, one-and-a-halves, doubles, and other challenging dives although his toes were never pointed, and he almost always missed his vertical entry.

The young Stephen kept a running tally of the diving scores in his head and was shocked when it was announced that the courageous but sloppy diver had won the competition. He was sure an injustice had been perpetrated, so he stormed the judges’ table and demanded an explanation. The scorer simply said, “Degree of difficulty. You had better form, but he did harder dives. When you factor in the degree of difficulty, he beat you hands down, kid.”

Stephen Robinson recalled, “Until that moment I hadn't known that some dives were awarded ‘extra credit’ because of their greater difficulty. . . . Whenever I am tempted to feel superior, . . . the parable of the divers comes to my mind, and I repent. At least at a swim meet, we can usually tell which dives are the most difficult. But here in mortality, we cannot always tell who is carrying what burdens: limited intelligence, chemical depression, compulsive behaviors, learning disabilities, dysfunctional or abusive family background, poor health, physical or psychological handicaps—no one chooses these things.”

Brother Robinson concluded, “Enduring to the end doesn't have much to do with suffering in silence, overcoming all life’s obstacles, or even achieving the [Latter-Day-Saint] ideal of ‘pointing our toes’ and ‘keeping our feet together.' It just means not giving up. It means keeping to the best of our abilities the commitments we made to Christ . . . It means not rejecting the blessings of the Atonement that He showered upon us when we entered His Church and kingdom.” [3]

I love Brother Robinson’s story and his reflections about his experience. He reminds us that the way we view one another seldom reflects the full scope of our individual circumstances and the unique opportunities for growth we each have here in mortality. While we differ in our strengths and challenges, God understands and loves each of us perfectly and completely. We can each succeed in our own quest to return home to Him as we choose to let Him prevail or come first in our lives.

The Apostle Peter taught, “Of a truth I perceive that God is no respecter of persons: But in every nation, he that feareth him, and worketh righteousness, is accepted with him.” [4]  

Nephi also affirmed, “He inviteth them all to come unto him and partake of his goodness; and he denieth none that come unto him, . . . all are alike unto God.” [5]  

I’m so grateful for my knowledge and testimony of our Heavenly Father’s plan for our happiness. The Savior has made our opportunity for growth possible through His atoning sacrifice. 

Remember that your personal development is important! Only you can become who you were sent here to be. Only you occupy your unique place in life—now and in the future—as a family member, a friend, in your community, and as a contributing member of God’s restored Church. 

Think of how important the type of person you become is to all who will be part of your adult life and family. Patiently strive to become the best version of you and your future self by improving bit by bit today. Elder Sabin will be sharing some ideas to help you in your quest for growth and happiness. 

I’m grateful to be led by a living prophet. I love President Nelson and am grateful for his inspired counsel and that of the other General Authorities of the Church. I know that if we follow the prophet, we are following the Savior and will be blessed with peace and spiritual safety in our lives. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Notes

[1] Joy D. Jones, “An Especially Noble Calling,” Ensign, May 2020.

[2] Russell M. Nelson, “Men’s Hearts Shall Fail Them,” The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/video/inspirational-messages/2011-11-020-mens-hearts-shall-fail-them?lang=eng.

[3] Stephen E. Robinson, Following Christ: The Parable of the Divers and More Good News, Deseret Book, 1995, 34–38.

[4] Acts 10:34–35.

[5] 2 Nephi 26:33.

Elder Gary B. Sabin

I am grateful for the opportunity to be here with my dear companion, Valerie, to share some thoughts with you today. The last time I was on your beautiful campus was when I was a young missionary learning Dutch. At that time, it was where the Scandinavian and Dutch languages were taught, so speaking to you evokes fond memories for me. 

President Spencer W. Kimball, in an address entitled “Education for Eternity,” said your education needs to be “bilingual” as you focus on both professional and spiritual matters. [1] What a unique opportunity to attend a university founded by prophets under the direction of Heaven. And what a blessing it is to be here with President and Sister Eyring. They are wonderful examples to follow as you look to the future.

As I was thinking about what to share with you today, I asked myself what would have been helpful to me when I was your age. It really came down to wanting to know how to be happy and to feel joy. The prophet Nephi recorded, “We lived after the manner of happiness.” [2]

How did the Nephites find this happiness? The scriptures reveal that God has promised that all those who “[do] the works of righteousness” will receive “peace in this world and eternal life in the world to come” [3] which is the greatest of all of God’s gifts. [4]

Peace and true happiness in life come from a clear conscience in knowing that we are doing our best. It does not mean we are perfect, but that we are trying to be obedient and are not willfully doing things we know we shouldn’t. It means that if we slip, we are quick to repent. We often have problems that linger longer than they need to because we do not pay the price for our souls to rest. There is no softer pillow than a clear conscience. 

Walking in obedience to God’s commandments is not just the right course but also the smart course. Cecil B. DeMille, the producer of the movie The Ten Commandments, observed, “We cannot break the ten commandments; we can only break ourselves against them.” [5]

We have our agency to choose our own way rather than God’s, but we cannot choose the consequences. For example, we can choose to ignore the law of gravity—we might even say we do not believe in it—but if we do so, we will eventually hit bottom.

We have all used the GPS on our phones to guide us to a desired destination. When the voice says, “Turn right,” we don’t say, “No one is telling me what to do!” That would be foolish. Likewise, we show our intelligence when we exercise our agency to follow God’s instructions. 

In the final analysis, our journey through mortality is a search for peace and happiness. The key to achieving this is following the plan of our loving Father in Heaven.

It is important to understand that the peace we’re promised in this world does not come from a lack of challenges, but rather from an eternal perspective to see things as they really are. It is essential that we remember that we are spiritual beings having a mortal experience and, as Elder Andersen wisely said, “Discipleship is a migration from earth to eternity.” [6] The pull of the natural man, however, can be destructive if we are not careful. How can we overcome this pull in order to experience God’s promised peace and happiness?

The Lord told Thomas Marsh, “Be thou humble; and the Lord thy God shall lead thee by the hand, and give thee answer to thy prayers.” [7] 

Therefore, an important principle in obtaining peace and happiness is sincere prayer.

Several years ago, our daughter Jennifer was up very early and saw her little brother Bryan sitting outside our bedroom door. We were not up yet given the early hour and he was in some distress with swollen eyes and a quivering lip. Jennifer said to him, “Bryan, they can’t help you if you don’t knock; they would want you to knock.”

We all need to knock. We do this through childlike prayer offered with deep gratitude, love, and trust in our Heavenly Father. Perfunctory prayers have little power.

We then commit to do our part so that our prayers are followed by action. One little girl took this to heart after complaining to her mother that her brother was catching little birds in his traps. She then told her mother that she knew he would not do it anymore because she had prayed to God about it. Her mother, not wanting her to be disappointed, said, “Well dear, you can’t always be certain as Johnny has his agency.”

The little girl replied, “Oh, I am certain because after I prayed, I got up and smashed all his bird traps to bits!” By acting on impressions we receive, we can often be prompted to be part of the answer to our own prayers.

The next principle is page.  

Read something in the scriptures daily. It is like a force field against the fiery darts of the adversary. We live in a world of information overload. Please take the time to fill your spiritual reservoirs. When I was a bishop several years ago, I asked a young boy during his baptismal interview what his favorite scripture story was. With his proud parents looking on he exclaimed, “Paul Bunyan.” Well, there is nothing wrong with Paul Bunyan and Babe the Blue Ox, but it is not exactly scripture. Some things are interesting and others are important.

Paul told the Roman Saints, “Faith cometh by hearing the word of God.” [8] Near the end of his record, the Apostle John wrote, But these are written, that ye might believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God; and that believing ye might have life through his name.” [9]

If we choose not to read the scriptures, we choose to disregard the precious advantages associated with having God’s word in our possession. So many answers to life’s problems are in plain view if we will only look.

Do we really stop to think about how amazing it is that the Book of Mormon was delivered by an angel? Were we to be visited by a resurrected being and given this record, we would treasure it and read it immediately and continually. In fact, we know that this is exactly how the record came through the Prophet Joseph Smith to us. We will be greatly blessed by embracing this great gift.

President Spencer W. Kimball observed, “I find that when I get casual in my relationships with divinity and when it seems that no divine ear is listening and no divine voice is speaking, that I am far, far away. If I immerse myself in the scriptures, the distance narrows and the spirituality returns.” [10]

This brings me to the next principle which is ponder.

Nephi wrote: “For my soul delighteth in the scriptures, and my heart pondereth them. [11] Pondering unlocks revelation. It does little good to pray and study if we do not then listen quietly in our hearts and minds. The Lord instructed Oliver Cowdery, “Yea, behold, I will tell you in your mind and in your heart, by the Holy Ghost. . . . Now, behold, this is the spirit of revelation.” [12]                                                                                              

Hyrum Smith was given this instructive counsel: “I will impart unto you of my Spirit, which shall enlighten your mind, which shall fill your soul with joy; . . . by this shall you know, all things whatsoever you desire of me, which are pertaining unto things of righteousness, in faith believing in me that you shall receive.” [13]

What an amazing promise. Many of the blessings of purposeful prayer and scripture study come only after quiet pondering and reflection. We should not rush revelation or we will often miss it entirely.

Several years ago, I read a story about a man who lived in New York City during the Great Depression. He was a telegraph operator and desperately needed a job to feed his family. He responded to a help-wanted ad in the newspaper and went to their office to be interviewed. When he arrived, the waiting room was full of applicants. Feeling somewhat discouraged, he found a seat and sat down. After only a brief moment, he stood up , squared his shoulders, and without knocking, entered the room where the man was conducting the interviews. A few minutes later the door opened and he exited, being congratulated for being hired for the position. Everyone else in the waiting room was furious. “How dare you? You did not wait your turn!”

The man replied, “Didn’t you hear it?”

 “Hear what?”

The man explained, “The interviewer tapped a message in morse code on his desk with his pencil which said, ‘Whoever wants this job, come in here right now.’”

Anyone could have heard the message, but he was the only one who did. We are often so preoccupied with earthly concerns that we miss those messages from heaven that will help us the most, so take time to pause and ponder and you will be amazed at what you learn.

The next principle is purity.

To receive peace in this life it is essential that we are pure. Self-mastery and purity are essential for self-esteem and happiness. The purpose of mortality is not just to gain a body but to gain self-mastery over the body. It has been said, “You cannot say you are His servant until you can say you are your own master.”

A rocket expends most of its fuel breaking free from the earth’s gravitational force and then is able to float effortlessly above the earth’s atmosphere at approximately 18,000 mph. Likewise, by conquering the natural man, we find that living the gospel is far easier and liberating than not living it. We are filled with a strength, confidence, and power that the wicked lack.

I saw a poster for a gasoline additive at a gas station that read, “A clean engine is a powerful engine.” So it is with us. Power comes from purity. In section 121 of the Doctrine and Covenants we read: “Let virtue garnish thy thoughts unceasingly; then shall thy confidence wax strong in the presence of God.” [14]

Years ago, when we lived in a mountainous area of Southern California, my wife called me as I was driving home from work and said, “Gary, be careful when you park in the garage because there is an overturned green plastic tub that I threw over a rattlesnake in there. Would you please take care of it when you get here?”

The garage doors had been newly varnished that day and because one of them had not completely dried, the workers had not yet put the rubber seal on the bottom. This small crack between the closed door and the ground allowed the rattlesnake to slither in. 

Dear friends, please seal up any cracks in your life so that the adversary cannot destroy you. None of us would feel comfortable with a rattlesnake in our garage. How about in our house, our bedroom, our backpack, pocket, or our purse? We need to be very careful about what types of media we engage in and let into our minds. Much of it is far more dangerous than a rattlesnake which can only kill the body. Eternity is at stake and purity is the lynchpin. Be pure.

To be pure in a wicked world is challenging. The only way I know how to do it is to fill your life with so much light that there is no place or desire for darkness. Do not be too casual. You need to approach this challenge with the steely determination of a warrior engaged in a fierce and life-threatening battle in which you never let up. Alma exhorted that we need an “everlasting hatred against sin and iniquity.” [15]

If you are struggling with something, remember that the grass is greenest where it is watered . Water the good and starve the bad. We have powerful weapons of light with which to overwhelm darkness. Listen to edifying music, uplifting messages, and scriptures, and don’t open up any cracks for dark things. As Paul said to the Saints in Rome, “Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good.” [16]

Filling your life with light is so much more fulfilling than darkness. Social media and technology can be wonderful servants but terrible masters. Use them for good; don’t let them use you. It is worth your very best effort. You are in charge! In the end, your desires will change, which, like the rocket breaking free from the earth’s gravitational pull, is freeing and exhilarating with “no more disposition to do evil, but to do good continually.” [17]

The next principle is praise.

One of the deepest needs anyone has is to be loved and appreciated. Be unselfish and complimentary. Be kind, thoughtful, and considerate. You will change your own life and that of many others by giving a sincere compliment to someone every day. Catch them doing well. Mark Twain once said, “I can live for two months on a good compliment.” [18]

The Savior, in His final days, underscored an essential truth when He said, “By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.” [19]

Part of loving one another is being forgiving and non-judgmental. As Elder Maxwell said, “It is our job to lift others up, not to size them up.” [20] As disciples of Christ, we are asked to trust God and not attempt to replace Him. He knows everyone perfectly and will judge them perfectly. It is our job to pull the beam out of our own eye rather than trying to pull the mote out of another’s.

This brings me to the next principle: pride.

Beware of pride as it can undo everything. When we are humble, we are teachable and can make progress. When we are prideful, we forget our identity and purpose and lean on our own understanding and abilities. This is a slippery slope.

There was a famous athlete on an airplane not known for his humility who was asked by the flight attendant to please put on his seatbelt. He replied, “Superman don’t need no seatbelt.” The wise flight attendant replied, “’Superman don’t need no airplane either.” We should be mindful of what we can and cannot do. One thing we should always do is to remember where our strength comes from. Paul said, “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.” [21]

I had a wakeup call regarding pride as a missionary in Belgium. We were teaching an elderly sister who said on one occasion, “Elder Sabin, I can tell that you have been here longer than Elder Ferguson.” 

I thought to myself, “It must be because I speak the language better.” So, I asked her, “Oh? Why is that?” 

I was quickly humbled as she replied, “Because your shirts are so much grayer than Elder Ferguson’s.” We didn’t have a washing machine so we washed our shirts in the bathtub and hung them up along the wall trim to dry. They became grayer and grayer over time with the repeated washings. 

The irony of pride is that it makes us appear foolish which is the very opposite of the results we’re seeking. There is nothing less impressive than trying to impress. Be honest and genuine. Being ourselves is always the best and most likable course. 

President Benson wisely taught :

The proud stand more in fear of men’s judgment than of God’s judgment. What will others think of me weights heavier than what will God think of me. When pride has a hold on our hearts, we lose our independence of the world and deliver our freedoms to the bondage of men’s judgement. The world shouts louder than the whisperings of the Holy Ghost. The reasoning of men overrides the revelations of God and the proud let go of the iron rod. Pride is ugly. It says, “If you succeed, I am a failure.” [22]  

Jealousy and envy are unbecoming a disciple of Christ. Do not compare, but rather celebrate the success of others. Being genuinely happy for those around us is one of the true litmus tests of discipleship. The race is not against anyone else; it is against sin. The beauty of the plan of salvation is that we each decide for ourselves whether we will be exalted by the choices we make and our willingness to be humble and repentant.

The great and spacious building of today is filled with those who are puffed up with the pride of the world, whereas the temples are filled with humble followers of Christ. We know that the fall of the great and spacious building will be exceedingly great! We should not care about the opinions of those speedily heading to destruction. We have been forewarned and should stay far away.

This brings me to the next principle which is perspective.

Having an eternal perspective in this life is essential to our peace and happiness. When we have an eternal perspective it is easier to be optimistic about life since we see the big picture and know that the experiences we have here are to prepare us to return to our heavenly home. Mortality is much like a university education with a variety of classes. We don’t just take P.E. and lunch but also calculus and English. We learn the most from the classes that stretch us the most, but we need not fear if we are faithful. The Savior said, “Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.” [23] He also said, “In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.” [24] What a great reason to be excited and optimistic. Eternal perspective also includes the patience to wait upon the Lord and His timing.

Years ago, there was a Sesame Street episode where Cookie Monster was the winner of a game show and was given the opportunity to choose from three prizes. The first was a beautiful house under construction that required him to wait for its completion. The second was a new car being manufactured that required a short wait for its delivery. Or third, he could take cookies right now. You know what he did. Cookies! How often are we like this as we trade away the forever for the immediate? We should never trade what we want most for what we think we want at the moment. It is the mess of pottage instead of the mansion in heaven. [25]

There is a popular song with these lyrics about a man who learned he was dying:                                    

I loved deeper, and I spoke sweeter, and I gave forgiveness I’d been denying. 

Someday I hope you get the chance to live like you were dying. [26]

In reality, we are all gradually dying. In fact, the purpose of the gospel is to prepare for our life hereafter. President Nelson said, “We were born to die, and we die to live.” [27]

Dear friends, life after death is not the question. That issue was decided over two thousand years ago with the Savior’s resurrection. It is how we live our life before death that is the real question. Maintain an eternal perspective so you can live without regret.

Finally, don’t forget to play.

It is essential to play. Non-persuasive positive interaction can be more powerful than preaching. It validates one’s self-esteem when we take time for one another. The proclamation on the family declares, “Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities.” [28]

Playing together strengthens marriages and families. It makes praying together much more powerful and effective. Playing is also important individually for physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being.

The columnist Abigail Van Buren wisely said, “If you want your children to turn out well, spend twice as much time with them and half as much money.” [29]

Preaching without playing is of little use. Play with your future families so that you have the moral authority of a loving and concerned parent as you teach and guide them. Your life will be far more joyful and rewarding.

In conclusion, life is an adventure; enjoy the journey! I hope you are excited about this adventure we call life. Elder Paul Johnson told me that when one of his grandsons was six years old he excitedly declared that he had discovered what the best video game in the world was. He then announced that it was life because you get to play it until you die! That is an amazing perspective from a six-year-old who was excited about the challenging twists and turns of life.

We can learn something from each day and each experience, even the difficult ones. A Lithuanian proverb states, “One day teaches the other.” So, trust God and go on.

It is my testimony that by following these principles, we can enjoy peace and happiness in this world even amidst the fiery darts of the adversary and the inequities of mortality.

I bear you my witness that God our Father knows and loves His children. Because He loves us, He has provided a plan which, if followed, will bring us the peace and happiness we each seek. This plan is made possible because of our Savior and Redeemer Jesus Christ. Of all the success formulas ever written or uttered, the most important one is when the Savior said, “Follow me.” [30] Elder Neal A. Maxwell counseled, “Truly of all the errors mortals could make, God’s plan of salvation is the wrong thing to be wrong about!” [31] And President John Taylor boldly declared, “The kingdom of God or nothing.” [32]

I pray that we will each have similar vision, determination, and courage, and thereby receive the blessings of peace and happiness during our mortal journey and eternal life in the world to come. May God bless you in your efforts to do so. In the sacred name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Notes

[1] Spencer W. Kimball, “Education for Eternity,” BYU devotional, Sept. 12, 1967.

[2] 2 Nephi 5:27. 

[3] Doctrine and Covenants 59:23.

[4] Doctrine and Covenants 14:7.

[5] Cecil B. DeMille, “The Ten Commandments and You,” BYU devotional, May 31, 1957.

[6] Personal meeting.

[7] Doctrine and Covenants 112:10.

[8] Romans 10:17.

[9] John 20:31.

[10]Teachings of Spencer W. Kimball, 135.

[11] 2 Nephi 4:15.

[12] Doctrine and Covenants 8:2–3.

[13] Doctrine and Covenants 11:13–14.

[14] Doctrine and Covenants 121:45.

[15] Alma 37:32.

[16] Romans 12:21.

[17] Mosiah 5:2.

[18] Mark Twain, Delphi Complete Works of Mark Twain, 2013, 9066.

[19] John 13:35.

[20] Neal A. Maxwell, Neal A. Maxwell Quote Book, Deseret Book, 2009, 12.

[21] Philippians 4:13.

[22] Ezra Taft Benson, “Beware of Pride,” Ensign, May 1989.

[23] John 14:27.

[24] John 16:33.

[25] See Genesis 25:29–34.

[26] Tim McGraw, “Live Like You Were Dying,” Curb Records, 2004.

[27] Russell M. Nelson, “Doors of Death ,”Ensign, May 1992.

[28] “The Family: A Proclamation to the World,” 1995

[29] Pauline Phillips, “Dear Abby,” Chicago Tribune.

[30] See Matthew 4:19.

[31] Neal A. Maxwell, “The Great Plan of the Eternal God,” Ensign, May 1984.

[32] John Taylor, Journal of Discourses, vol. 6, discourse 19, Nov. 1, 1857.