I am truly honored to have the opportunity to be here today. I know that you often hear Church leaders tell how wonderful you are. I can assure you that I echo those sentiments. You are the future--and what confidence I have in the future because of young people like you!
In our assignment as president and matron of the Draper Utah Temple, we witness many young men and women coming to the temple to receive their endowments. It is an exceptional experience to see so many going forward around the world to serve as missionaries. We recently realized that the change in Church policy to authorize young women to serve when they turn nineteen years of age, while a wonderful blessing, has caused some collateral damage for a few young men. Recently our grandson returned from a mission in Korea. We asked him how his schooling was going at BYU in Provo. He said it was just fine. When we asked him about his social life, he said, "It isn't very good. I find a cute girl and ask for a date, and she says, 'Yes,' but then quickly adds, 'Let's go out and have fun, but we can't get serious--I am going on a mission.'" Perhaps some of you can relate to his dilemma.
Last Fall my wife and I set out on a drive to see the beauties of some remote wilderness high in the Wasatch Mountains East of Salt Lake. We were attempting to follow a road that not very many people travel. We had been on it a number of years before. We remembered the beautiful scenery, trees, mountains, and wildlife and hoped to have such an experience again.
Because the road is seldom used, there are no signs directing you where to go and how far it is to the next turn--or even if there is a next turn. Somewhere along the way, we found ourselves on a very rough road, steep in places, with large rocks and very rough terrain. We were grateful we were in a vehicle that was built for such country.
While technically we were lost--as my wife would say--I knew we were going in the right direction and that eventually we would come out where we originally planned to go. We just didn't know when we would get there, or how long it would take. After a significant delay, we found the road that was our original destination.
Even with this delay and a rougher road than expected, we accomplished what we set out to do. We experienced the beauties of nature, the gorgeous trees, clear blue skies and wildlife. We achieved our goal, but the road we travelled was longer, rougher and had some delays and surprises that we had not anticipated.
So is the road of life. As we launch forward into our adult lives, we have dreams and hopes of a happy, joyful, and rewarding life. We hope to find success in our employment, family, and community. We hope that when we are older we will have lived so that our family, friends, and particularly ourselves are pleased about the road we travelled.
I am confident that when you establish honorable and worthwhile goals and move forward with faith and determination that you will have a very good chance of achieving them. Most of the time, however, you will find the road to success and happiness strewn with a few more rocks and bumps, twists and turns and once in a while some unanticipated delays.
On occasion, life's journey may take you to places wholly unanticipated and difficult. Sometimes we suffer the unfortunate and unfair consequences of others who are unkind, unthinking or even devious.
Don't be discouraged, because while you are on the road striving to achieve the desires of your heart, if you will allow yourself to do so, you will also enjoy the trees, beautiful flowers, the blue sky, and breathtaking scenery.
And most importantly--if you have faith in God and look for His hand in your life--you may find that the road you eventually travelled was more productive, useful, and rewarding than the one you originally planned. C.S. Lewis puts it this way:
We cannot clearly see God's plan for us, but if we could it would be marvelous to behold: Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on; you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently he starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make sense. What on earth is he up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of--throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were going to be made into a decent little cottage; but He is building a palace.[1]
The Lord said, "All things shall work together for good to them that walk uprightly."[2] I discovered that scripture years ago. I have used it numerous times, especially when I find myself in unplanned, unexpected rocky terrain.
I have come to understand the power in that prophetic statement. "All things, [not just the easy or pleasant things, but] all things work together for good to those who walk uprightly." I believe the Lord is telling us that even our challenges, trials, heartaches, and troubles will end up benefitting us as we "walk uprightly" and stay close to the Lord.
Over many years of putting these truths to the test, I have gained a firm testimony that even when we experience difficult challenges, as we continue having faith in God, we will benefit more from our challenges than we would have without them. The Lord is kind and generous. Not that we should look for challenges in life. They will find us without too much effort on our part.
Years ago, one of our daughters when she was seven years old was playing with her twin brother in an empty field. As they enjoyed their innocent childhood games, they found an unopened bottle of beer lying in the hot sun. As children will do, they threw rocks at it hoping to see it shatter.
After a number of failed attempts to hit it, our daughter found a steel bolt and innocently knelt by the bottle and struck it with a decisive blow. Indeed the bottle broke, but the hot sun had transformed it into a small explosive device and as it shattered, the glass flew outward and upward striking her in the face and, most seriously, lacerating her eye. The flying glass also opened a large wound on her lower eyelid and down her beautiful little face.
Her brother helped her back to our home and her mother rushed her to the emergency room. The doctors gave some hope that her eye could be saved and that the wound on her face would heal with minimal scarring.
However, we were disappointed to learn that rather than healing as we had hoped, her injuries developed excess scar tissue that eventually destroyed her eye and developed a significant scar under her eye and down her face. Over the next ten years, she underwent a number of surgeries to recover as much as possible. As parents we provided love, faith, prayers, and support the best we could.
One of the greatest challenges we faced as parents was to see her go into the bathroom before going to school, lock the door, and, at least in our minds, imagine her staring at herself in the mirror wondering how she could ever get through the day. She grew out her hair and had very long bangs to try to cover that one side of her face and she wore glasses not only to protect her eye, but to also try to mask the scar on her face.
The good news is that over time a talented physician performed a miracle and helped her recover in a remarkable way. If you saw her today you would probably not detect any trace of what I have described. As parents it was difficult to see any particular good that would, or could, ever come from what we considered a tragedy that befell an innocent seven-year-old girl. Today, this young woman is the mother of four beautiful children, full of faith, devotion to God, and a wonderful, caring, kind, and generous person.
It wasn't until last Christmas that we sensed in our daughter's life the fulfillment of the scripture that, "all things work together for good to those who walk uprightly." At our annual family adult Christmas party, each of our children and their spouses were asked to consider a challenge they had in life which seemed difficult at the time, but that has been a blessing as the years passed by. When it was this particular daughter's turn to share, she certainly remembered the accident as a very challenging time. She recalled the worries and concerns about going to school and facing her friends, teachers, and other students.
She recalled that often she did go into the bathroom before school and look into the mirror, but she related something even more important. She said that in the morning she also went into her bedroom and knelt down in prayer and asked Heavenly Father--even pled with Him--to help her face other students and more importantly to endure her own feelings of hurt and embarrassment. She simply said about those days, "God answered my prayers. I did make it!"
It was difficult for her. She said that it was only with God's help that she could face each day. He blessed her with loyal friends and a twin brother that always had her back and a future husband that could totally look past her perceived defects and totally love the lovely woman that she was and is. She ended her story that Christmas evening by quoting part of the poem, "Invictus," that ends with, "I am the master of my fate and the captain of my soul!"[3] It was a very moving experience to hear her tell of how this seeming tragedy had somehow also been a remarkable blessing to her.
This experience that seemed so unfair and painful at the time became a foundation of her faith that God would help her with other challenges throughout life. Her example also blesses her family and those who know her well.
Perhaps the greatest blessing coming from this experience is that her four beautiful children see their mother as a pillar of faith, strength, and determination. Her example and teachings will help them prepare for life and live more productive, rich, and rewarding lives.
The Savior is our great example. His life, suffering, and death all seem so tragic, yet His sacrifice enables us to repent, find strength, experience His grace and gain eternal life. He showed us the way and blessed us in immeasurable and unspeakable ways.
Is there an opportunity--even a responsibility--to follow the Savior's example and strive to bless others when we have challenges and adversities? As we face life's challenges with faith, hope, and optimism and refuse to fall subject to unwarranted feelings of anger, sadness, and bitterness, our lives will be happier and others will be blessed and encouraged as they see how we handle our challenges.
Being optimistic and having a positive attitude will make our burdens lighter and help us find happiness and hope. Even in the most dire circumstances, there can be found a glimmer of hope.
As children, our main interest is ourselves and meeting our own needs. As we grow older, we learn to discipline ourselves and begin to learn that other people's lives and happiness are also important--and that we can influence them for good and bless them by our acts of unselfishness and kindness.
We often see in the news someone who is involved in a major feat or rescue effort. These are commendable events. However, there are greater opportunities for sacrifice and caring for others that present themselves in less dramatic ways every day. We do not need major events to follow the principle of blessing the lives of others. For example, have you had or do you have a roommate that may not be the easiest for you to relate to? There are a number of ways to react to such a situation. You can ignore the person and avoid the little quarrels that might occur. Doing so might be the easier road. However, you might also see this as an opportunity to be unselfish and give of yourself even if you don't feel like it. Certainly you can praise them for something, even if you do not feel they deserve it. You can be a blessing to them!
When was the last time you called or wrote to your parents or a brother or sister and told them how much you appreciate and love them. You will soon learn as you have your own family how much parents desire to feel that you understand them and appreciate what they have done for you. Some parents suffer too much from not feeling love and gratitude from the very children they have loved and sacrificed for.
What about telling someone that you enjoyed their talk in Church or the musical number they provided? Perhaps the effort to write them a brief personal note would be more appreciated than you can imagine. Some years ago, I along with religious leaders of other faiths, made a presentation in a governor's conference in Arizona about the sensitive subject of child abuse. I represented the Church in explaining our position and what we were doing to respond to this challenging issue. I thoroughly prepared for this presentation. Afterward, a woman came up to me and handed me a small business card with a note written on the back that said, "Thank you for your presentation--it was very good." She was LDS and wanted me to know that she felt the Church was represented well that evening. I never learned her name, but I kept the card for many years. It helped me feel good that someone recognized my efforts.
When we reach out to others, we not only bless them but we gain greater faith in God and develop our own character. Our adversities are often our best teachers. Most of us hope and pray for the same eternal destination. Getting there requires gaining the virtues spoken of in the scriptures--faith, patience, love, long suffering and other admirable traits. However, as each person strives to attain these similar characteristics, the experiences he or she may have to achieve them may take them down two very different roads.
As an example, I know two faithful sisters who have lived admirable lives and learned about faith and patience in two very different ways. One of the sisters said that she learned faith and patience by having a large family. She said that she went to Sacrament meeting for years and hardly remembers a time when the meeting was a truly spiritual experience. Her time, attention and energy were spent mostly in controlling the chaos of keeping some sort of control during the meeting. This large family tested her faith to the limit, but she did develop faith and patience.
Her sister gained the same faith and patience in a different way. She could not have children of her own. It was a painful, lonely journey, but through the process of adoption she found great happiness in the two children that came into her home. Both of these sisters had very different circumstances; both gained faith and virtue from their experiences.
It is important that we maintain our faith in God when we face difficult challenges. He will bless us immensely if we walk uprightly and turn to him even when we do not see the good that may come from a painful or troubling problem. The eleventh and twelfth chapters of Hebrews teach us great lessons about having faith in God. The first verses tell us how God's leaders were blessed when God granted them that which they asked for. One of the great lessons of faith is told about Sara and Abraham who had been promised to have posterity as great as the sands of the seas and the stars in the Heavens; yet Abraham and Sara became very old, and they still did not have a son through which these magnificent blessings could be fulfilled.
Even as an older woman, Sara never lost hope. The scriptures tell us that, "Through faith also Sara herself received strength to conceive seed, and was delivered of a child when she was past age, because she judged him faithful who had promised."[4] Sara never stopped believing that she would bear a son so that the promised blessings would be fulfilled. The same faith is also attributed to Abraham, who the scriptures explain in somewhat humorous terms by saying, "Therefore sprang there even of one, [Abraham] and him as good as dead, so many as the stars of the sky in multitude and as the sand which is by the sea shore innumerable."[5]
Many examples of how God blessed those with faith are related in this marvelous chapter; however, the ending verses are sobering as they teach us good but challenging doctrine. Beginning in verse 35 of chapter eleven, we learn that not everyone receives from God through faith what they desire and ask for. We are taught that, "others were tortured...[some] had trials of cruel mockings and scourgings, yea, moreover of bonds and imprisonment; They were stoned, were sawn asunder..." and many other similar painful and unfortunate difficulties. Yet, we learn that those who suffered also had firm testimonies of God and His goodness.
The chapter ends with, what is to me, the most important and insightful verse of scripture about adversity and suffering: The Joseph Smith Translation says, "God having provided some better things for them through their sufferings, for without sufferings they could not be made perfect."[6]
So brothers and sisters, we must have faith in God when we receive answers to our prayers, and we must have faith in God when we do not receive just what we asked for. In either situation, we must remember that, "All things work together for good to them who walk uprightly." The goal can never be to avoid every adversity. Things just don't happen that way. Our goal must be to find the good that can result from our challenges. God in His great wisdom and love will do what is best for us and those around us, if we will but turn to Him and have faith in Him. It will often require enduring experiences that are not pleasant or easy, but enduring them with faith will eventually result in greater blessings for us and certainly a blessing to those who watch how we handle these difficult challenges.
It is difficult to turn to God when we make mistakes. One of the most touching and valuable lessons regarding turning to God after making poor decisions came from a young woman who became pregnant out of wedlock at a very young age. I worked in adoptions in LDS Family Services for years and could relate other such experiences. I served as her priesthood leader. At such a tender age, she was required to make the difficult decision of what to do with and for her unborn child. After much thought and prayer and counseling with others, she came to the conclusion that she would do what she believed was in the best interest of her child. She placed it with a young couple that could not have children of their own. After struggling with this heart wrenching decision, she went through the challenging experience of repentance. Perhaps her greatest challenge was to forgive herself.
One of the last times I spoke with her as a Church leader, I asked her, "How do you feel about the Savior?" I will never forget what she said: "I love the Savior very much. I know He lives and loves me and that He has forgiven me of my mistakes and sins." Words cannot express what she said, how she said it and how I felt that day, but I remember thinking that such a young girl would not generally have such an abiding testimony of the Savior. This kind of a testimony was more often found in older more experienced members of the Church.
It was another reminder that God is most generous, and He will bless us without measure as we turn our lives and hearts to him. Even when we make serious mistakes and have difficult problems, He is saying to us, "I'm sorry that you made a wrong choice or that you had to suffer such difficulty, but if you will turn your heart to me, I will make the blessing that comes out of it even greater than the disappointment and challenges that you faced going through it." Truly, we can have confidence that "All things work together to them that walk uprightly."[7]
The trip I took with my wife that resulted in a bumpy and somewhat lost condition was a little annoying, but it was also enjoyable. So it is with much of our lives--a journey of ups and downs, but a journey that we can handle. It is true that once in a while we may experience some unforeseen difficult challenge that will disrupt our lives, that may take years to understand and endure. But even these challenges, if endured well, will allow us to look back and realize that we were blessed along the way and that we can "do hard things." That we made it even when we thought it might be easier to just give up. We find out for ourselves that we are not quitters. And that is the part, brothers and sisters--we find out for ourselves who we are and that is why we are here.
Joseph Smith summarized this succinctly when he told his mother just after the First Vision when he was still dazed and amazed. "I am all right mother; I am well enough off. I just learned for myself that none of the Churches are true." And this is our privilege and blessing to not only live on this earth but to learn for ourselves--to find out who we really are by the things we experience, the things we suffer and how we handle them all. I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.
Notes
[1] C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity, New York: MacMillan Publishing Co., 1960, p 174
[2] D&C 100:15
[3] Invictus: William Ernest Henley
[4] Hebrews 11: 11
[5] Hebrews 11: 12
[6] Hebrews 11: 40, JST
[7] D&C 100:15