I have been a mother and educator now for longer than I haven't been. When I was invited to address you at devotional, I reflected on what I would say if I had the chance to say one more thing to my sons and the thousands of students I have taught. I knew what I would ask each one if given the chance, Do you know how great you are? Do you realize your limitless potential?
A couple of semesters ago, in a course evaluation, a student comment read, "she's not as funny as she thinks she is." This student probably also posted that evaluation of me on Rate My Professor and for all I know it was posted on his/her facebook page with an additional 100 likes. When I shared my experience with my family, my youngest son reassured me that it is unlikely the student posted it on facebook and just when I thought I could feel reassured he said, "she probably tweeted it and got 100 favorites." No I don't want you to check.
In the days, weeks and even months following, I found myself consumed by this comment. I didn't view the advice as a suggestion of improvement, but rather as a criticism that led to doubt in myself. I wondered if I should forewarn students so they wouldn't expect me to be funny. I also considered disclosing the fact on each syllabus explaining that when I laughed at my own jokes it was because I thought I was funny when I wasn't. I was especially distressed when I read an article where 3,000 students had been surveyed as to the top three characteristics needed by effective teachers: number 2 humor. I began to wonder if I should find a desk job. Seriously. Eventually I arrived at a point where I wondered why I had become so preoccupied by this perceived weakness. I didn't focus on any of the positive comments, but rather became fixated with this one negative.
Why did I allow this one comment to negatively impact me? The answer: for a moment I lost focus. Elder Cree-L Kofford in a 2002 Brigham Young University-Idaho devotional stated:
"Since the beginning, Lucifer has been there tempting and teaching through deceit and deception, in an effort to draw every one of God's children from the paths of righteousness. You are no exception."
Elder Kofford explained strategies used by Lucifer to do this:
"He determined that he would try to destroy our individual self-worth. If he can make each of us feel like we are not as good as others or that we have limited worth, and if he could sow seeds of self-doubt and worthlessness, he could gain tremendous power over us."[1]
Lucifer wants to not only keep us "from the paths of righteousness" he hopes to keep us from reaching our full divine potential and no one is exempt from the temptations of self-doubt and worthlessness.
In the Book of Moses, chapter one, God reveals himself to Moses. The first lesson God wants to teach Moses is who he is, as God and who Moses is, "Behold I am the Lord God Almighty and Endless is my name; for I am without beginning of days or end of years . . . and behold, thou art my son; wherefore look, and I will show thee the workmanship of mine hands." So great is the need that Moses understand who he is, God repeats this principle twice more in verses six and seven, calling him "Moses, my son." Shortly after God leaves, Satan visits Moses and contradicts the lessons learned by referring to him as "Moses, son of Man." The first temptation towards Moses was to confuse him as to his divine heritage[2]
As members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, we know who we are. One of the first Primary songs we learn to sing is one that reminds us of this heritage, "I am a child of God" written by Naomi Randall. This doctrine is not only taught through music, it is taught explicitly in words. The first lesson in the nursery manual for children ages 18 - 36 months is titled "I am a child of God." The first lesson taught by missionaries using Preach My Gospel is the principle that God is our Loving Heavenly Father. This most basic, foundational doctrine is what is first taught to our children and our investigators. Why? Because it is upon this foundation all other principles are built. Therefore, it is imperative that we know, understand, and believe this doctrine.
What do these words really mean? Let me summarize what the words "I am a child of God" mean to me using a Disney movie. In the Walt Disney movie, "Pooh's Grand Adventure: The Search for Christopher Robin" there is an interchange between Christopher Robin and Winnie-the-Pooh. Christopher is trying to help the bear consider how life might be if they are apart. Winnie the Pooh doesn't want to consider the idea, but Christopher Robin teaches him "If ever there's a tomorrow when we're not together, there's something you must remember . . . . You're braver than you believe and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think."[3] To me, this is what it means when I believe in the words, "I am a child of God." I am braver than I believe, stronger than I seem, smarter than I think, in addition better than I realize, loved more than I know and therefore, I am capable of overcoming and accomplishing great things. The words are easy to say and yet often times quickly forgotten and therefore difficult to implement. Let me share with you a few examples from my life.
I was concluding my third year as an elementary teacher, when my principal Max Wilson, approached me and said, "Dana, you really should consider going back to school to earn your Master's Degree in administration." I scoffed at the idea. I was a full time teacher, a wife, and mother of two young sons. Besides, I wasn't graduate school material. He responded with "please don't give up on the idea." When I told my husband of Mr. Wilson's idea I laughed and remarked how funny and ridiculous of an idea it was. Instead of laughing with me, he responded with "You should. The boys and I will support you." I listened to those around me and although doubting my abilities, I began attending graduate school in the evening. As I was working on my Masters Degree, I was teaching full time, served as ward Primary President, and had my third son.
I was the first to admit that this was accomplished through the help of my husband and sons. Let me give you an example of how much they supported me as I was going to school. As I was approaching the conclusion of my program, I gathered my young sons together to tell them I was almost finished with going to school at night. As soon as I said the words, my middle son, Jacob, started crying and exclaimed "Does this mean no more men's night?" When I elatedly said "yes" he cried even harder.
However, it was at about this time, when I reached my breaking point. I felt I could do no more at home, at my job, at church, and at school. One night I had a dream. In this dream I was made of glass and trying to walk on a slick surface. I was slipping and sliding when I finally fell and shattered into, what seemed to me, a thousand pieces. I cried out for my husband to come and help me by putting me back together. I saw him come and stand beside the pieces that were me and gently he responded "I can't put you back together." I cried over and over, "If not you, who?" I awoke with those words in my mind. If not you, then who? Who could make me whole?
As I layed awake pondering the question and feeling very alone, a story my grandmother frequently told came to my mind. The experience happened to my grandmother when she was 52 years old and for the next 40 years of her life, my grandmother, Loa Cammack Nelson made sure that her children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren all knew this story. Before I begin the story, l need to tell you a little about my grandmother. She was a small woman about 5' 3'' who worked alongside her husband farming and ranching while raising her seven children. These are her words as recorded in her life history:
"I was swathing hay [and] I had broken some sections in the swather knife. I went to the house to have Lyle (her husband) fix the blade. He went to fix it and then was going on out [to the other place]. They talked me into riding the little Honda motor bike because they all wanted the other [vehicles]. I decided to ride the bike instead of walking out there. The wind was blowing really hard from the west. I had to cross the bridge on the big canal. The bridge didn't have any sides on it and you had to turn to go on the bridge and also turn to go off. I slowed down to go on the bridge and was just turning on the bridge when the wind blew me into the canal.
"It was about 10 or 12 feet deep and I went down to the bottom and came up to the top in a few seconds. The current took me under the bridge before I had a chance to do anything or realize what had happened. Just a week before the water was so high it touched the bottom of the bridge. It had dropped some because they had turned a little water out. I had just enough to have my head above the water. When I got on the other side of the bridge I couldn't get out of the center of the canal because of the current and the wind. The wind was blowing white caps over my head from one direction and the current was pushing from the other. It seemed to just whirl me around in the center. I fought and fought and couldn't seem to get anywhere. I finally realized I was going to drown.
"I was getting so tired and my clothes were weighing me down. I started praying to the Lord for help, and I promised the Lord I would do all he asked me in the church and teach my family the right way the best I could if he would help me out of the canal. As soon as I started praying I heard a voice just as plain as could be say, 'I wondered when you were going to ask.' I immediately floated over to the side of the canal without any effort at all. I was so tired I couldn't pull myself out of the canal because the bank was so steep. I just laid my head on the bank and dug my hands into the grass until I got enough strength to get out onto the bank. That is where Lyle found me when he came looking. He had seen that the swather wasn't running. I really know that God lives and does hear and answer our prayers if we have faith and will call on him. . . The Lord really blessed me . I owe my life to him."
Taking the advice from my grandmother, and realizing I couldn't do anymore on my own, I called upon the Lord to help me. And I began to feel as Nephi when he stated, "Behold, God is my salvation; I will trust, and not be afraid; for the Lord Jehovah is my strength and my song; He also has become my salvation."[4]
Now, with greater strength than my own, I finished my Masters Degree in educational administration. My focus became pursing a position as a public school administrator. One day, my husband said, "you know, Ricks College is changing to a 4-year university and they are in need of professors in the department of teacher education. Minimum requirements are a masters degree and teaching experience. You have both. You should apply."
I quickly rejected the idea and provided him with a series of reasons. First, I was not professor material and second who was I to think I could be hired at Brigham Young University- Idaho? I am a farm girl from Southeast Idaho. He replied, "Dana, you're better than you think you are. Just apply." To appease him, I applied and to my amazement was asked to interview. When I was offered the position as faculty, every doubt in my ability consumed me. My fear and lack of confidence overwhelmed me to the point I had decided I couldn't accept the job. Then the thought came to me: "You are right. You can't do this on your own. Especially if you don't ask for help." When would I learn to "lift up mine eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help?" When would I realize that "my help cometh from the Lord, which made heaven and earth?"[5] With that reminder, and turning to the Lord, I accepted the position as faculty at Brigham Young University Idaho.
I share those experiences with you not to show you my accomplishments, but rather to show you that we are the same. You have the same resource I do and we are both children of God who have the assistance of a loving Heavenly Father.
I often reflect on how different my life would be if I had let my fears and doubts hold me back. I also reflect on how my fears and doubts may still be holding me back today from reaching my full potential.
Author Marianne Williamson wrote:
"Our deepest fear, is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous?' Actually who are you NOT to be. You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightening about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born, to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it's in everyone."[6]
In July 1914, as a new faculty member, Hyrum Manwaring arrived in Rexburg, Idaho. The sight of a ragged frontier town and a spartan campus, made him question his decision to join the academy. Climbing up a rugged sage brush hill, looking over the town of Rexburg, he records in his memoirs:
"I stood lonely and very depressed and silently shed tears to think I was bringing my dear wife and children to this place to try to make a home. I climbed further up the slope and looked farther over the great valley. I suddenly seemed to catch the spirit of the pioneers and to dream of the great potentials that lay before me. I thought I saw the future of a fine residential city, and a great college. I also felt I could make a real contribution to the future of both."[7]
His heart changed with a vision of what the school would become and how he could contribute. Sixteen years later, in 1930, Hyrum Manwaring became the 8th president of this school during a time of great uncertainty and financial struggles. Look around you today. He obviously held tight to his vision and "the great potentials" that lay before him.
At times we may each feel like the ragged frontier town, President Manwaring saw when he arrived to Rexburg, wondering about our potential, wanting to see the future. Wouldn't it be wonderful to be able to look in a mirror and instantly see how great we are-to have a snapshot view of our potential? What would it take to see ourselves as our Father in Heaven does? What would it take to believe and remember "the worth of souls is great in the sight of God" which includes you and me.[8]
In the opening devotional for this Spring Semester 2014, President Kim B. Clark gave us the tools to be able to see our divine potential and challenged us that if we don't see it in ourselves the first time, it required a second look. He said:
"I want you to take another look. Look into the mirror with the eye of faith and see in the mirror not only your face but also the face of the Lord Jesus Christ standing beside you with power and glory and never-ending, perfect love. He did not come to leave you out of His blessings. You are who you are because of who He is. You have eternal identity and purpose because Jesus is the Christ, the Savior and Redeemer."[9]
So when you look in the mirror and all you see is who you are today with all your weaknesses, faults, and failures, I suggest you take a second look, or find someone with a better view. When you don't know or have forgotten how great you are, just ask. As in my grandmother's example, there is one saying, "I was wondering when you were going to ask." Offer a prayer, seek a blessing, visit with a leader, parent, friend, or teacher. Trust in the view someone else has. I see it in you. In my interactions with students over the course of 22 years, I have seen the great potential that rests in each one of you. My desire has been that each might realize how great they are.
Turn to the scriptures to know firsthand of your divine heritage. If you question, "who am I and what does God think of me?" grab any book of scripture you choose and there you will find the answer. You will find his love of you in the Old Testament, read Jeremiah, or the New Testament in First John. Search the Book of Mormon by reading Mosiah, or the Doctrine and covenants where we are called his friends. Turn to the Pearl of Great Price and read from Moses, or from the Prophet Joseph Smith's history. Let the Holy Ghost teach and remind you of who you really are and what your true potential is.
Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin taught, "We see ourselves in terms of yesterday and today. Our Heavenly Father sees us in terms of forever. Although we might settle for less, Heavenly Father won't. For he sees us as the glorious beings we are capable of becoming."[10]
When feelings of doubt, fear or worthlessness begin to take over, go back to your beginnings. Go back to what you learned in Primary.
"I am a child of God and he has sent me here." We have been sent to earth to learn and to grow, and to show our love to our Heavenly Father through our obedience. We are here to be tested and to develop the attributes of godliness and to maybe prove to ourselves our divine potential as a child of God
"I am a child of God and so my needs are great." The needs we have here can be met by turning to our Heavenly Father: our need to know of our purpose on earth and who we are and why we are here; our need to be loved and to know him.
"I am a child of God rich blessings are in store." We have a Heavenly Father who loves us, cares about us, and wants to bless us and can receive witness of his love for us. He will bless us with peace and confidence.
"I am a child of God his promises are sure." The greatest promise being eternal life if we can but endure times of doubt, uncertainty, times of struggles and hardships.[11] The nursery manual suggests that the children repeat multiple times the words Naomi Randall wrote: I am a child of God and he has sent me here. It is important for us remember and to repeat these words in order for us to stay on the path of righteousness and to receive all the blessings the Lord has in store for us. Elder Boyd K. Packer said:
"You are a child of God. He is the father of your spirit. Spiritually you are of noble birth, the offspring of the King of Heaven. Fix that truth in your mind and hold to it. However many generations in your mortal ancestry, no matter what race or people you represent, the pedigree of your spirit can be written on a single line. You are a child of God!"[12]
Engrain these words into your thoughts and actions.These words will help us face any challenge or struggle that stands before us. When Christ stood before the Sanhedrin on trial, Caiapus the high priest, rose to his feet demanding and answer "tell us whether thou be the Christ, the Son of God"[13] In Mark chapter 14 verse 62 we read his response, "And Jesus said, I am" in what I believe to be in a strong, clear confident voice with head held high. "I AM." Insert your name in this scripture found in Matthew 26, "Dana, tell us whether thou be the daughter of God" and Dana said "I AM." I am a daughter of God.
Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin explained:
"it is essential that you know and understand that our Heavenly Father loves you like a son [or daughter] because He is the Father of your spirit. That makes you His literal son [or daughter], spiritually begotten of Him. As such, you have inherited the potential to become like Him. . . God's love is complete and without limit for you and for all mankind. He is perfectly just and merciful. He is perfectly kind and understands your circumstances and condition. He knows you better than you know yourself."[14]
Life is difficult and it seems we are frequently confronted with situations that could quickly lead to us having feelings of inadequacies, doubt and loss of self-confidence. However, if we are to achieve our divine potential it requires us to now reach our earthly potential through faith, trust and reliance upon our Heavenly Father.
As taught by Elder Gerald N. Lund:
"To strengthen our faith and deepen our testimony to the point that we can successfully endure to the end, we must know for ourselves with a surety that:
God is our Heavenly Father, and we are His literal children.
He and His Beloved Son want us to be happy and eventually come to a fullness of joy.
They know us intimately and love us infinitely.
They want to bless us, and they actually take great joy in doing so.
. . . This is the bedrock of which Christ spoke. And if we build our house on this rock, we can withstand the rains, the storms, and the floods that may come our way. With this testimony, we will endure. Without it, we are vulnerable."[15]
I want you to know that I know our Heavenly Father knows you personally and loves you deeply. He knows of your potential and knows you can accomplish great things. And may we be as the unknown Englishman of early days who offered this prayer: '"O God, help me to hold a high opinion of myself. That," said President Harold B. Lee of the Englishman's plea, "should be the prayer of every soul; not an abnormally developed self-esteem that becomes haughtiness, conceit, or arrogance, but a righteous self-respect that might be defined as 'belief in one's own worth, worth to God, and worth to man.'[16]
Remember, you are a child of God and that means you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, smarter than you think, loved more than you know, better than you realize and therefore, capable of overcoming and accomplishing great things.
Notes
[1] Cree L. Kofford, Agents Unto Themselves, Brigham Young University-Idaho Devotional, Sept. 17, 2002
[2] Moses 1: 3-4, 6-7 and 12
[3] Walt Disney, Pooh's Grand Adventure: The Search for Christopher Robin 1997
[4] 2 Nephi 22:2
[5] Psalm 121: 1-2
[6] Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of a Course in Miracles, Harper One, 1992 p.190 - 191
[7] David L. Crowder, The spirit of Ricks. The History of Ricks College, Patriotism Practiced /World War I: Hyrum Manwaring, 2byui.edu/PR/thespiritofricks/ch3.htm
[8] Doctrine and Covenants 18:10
[9] Kim B. Clark, Identity and Purpose in God's Eternal Plan, Brigham Young University-Idaho, April 22, 2014
[10] Joseph B. Wirthlin, The Great Commandment, Ensign, November 2007
[11] Naomi Randall, I am a Child of God, The Children's Song Book, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints,p. 2
[12] Boyd K. Packer, To Young Women and Men, Ensign, May 1989
[13] Matthew 26:63
[14] Joseph B. Wirthlin, Growing in the Priesthood, Ensign November 1999
[15] Gerald N. Lund, Divine signatures: The Confirming Hand of God, Introduction, Deseret Book, 2010
[16] James E. Faust, The Value of Self-Esteem, CES Fireside May 6, 2007