When I start to worry about unknown paths, I think of a phrase the Savior used throughout the scriptures to comfort both early disciples and the latter-day prophet, Joseph Smith. "Fear not, little flock"[1] are words that reassured disciples and prophets and can be a source of strength for us today.
Two years ago as my husband and I sat in President Uchtdorf's office and were extended this assignment at BYU-Idaho, I felt a bit of fear as I thought about such a huge responsibility and all the demands of our growing family. While the conversation continued that day, it was as if the Savior Himself was whispering in my ear, "fear not, little flock." My heart filled with peace and comfort as President Uchtdorf provided two distinct and direct forms of counsel: "just be yourselves" and "teach the importance of the family by involving your family."
As we have prayed and thought about that charge from a member of the First Presidency, it has led us to many different impressions of how we could teach the importance of the family as part of our service at BYU-Idaho. When we first arrived in Rexburg, the university created a video to introduce our family to the students. I would like to play that video one last time today (Meet the Gilberts video).
I hope you noticed how the video reveals a window into our family's life and shows President Gilbert teaching the importance of standing for the family in our day. We have tried to share the experiences of our family in other ways by inviting wards into our home each week with our children for family home evening and giving glimpses into our daily life as we shared regular messages on social media.
Also, (picture #3) we have prepared devotional addresses focusing on the family and taught each semester in the Eternal Family course.
Another area we have had strong feelings about is encouraging the students at BYU-Idaho to develop a more consistent culture around dating and courtship. This has resulted in holding regular Date Nights and encouraging students to go on dates. As we have tried to teach the importance of the family, each of these efforts has reinforced to us how important families are in Heavenly Father's plan.
In this final devotional address, I will share two lessons that have strengthened and brought courage to our little flock. These lessons are accompanied by very personal and pivotal experiences that have taught me that happiness in family life is achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ.
LESSON #1: Families are created on the Lord's timetable, not ours.
I recognize that not everyone in this life will be able to marry or have children of their own. Wouldn't it be easier if we could completely control the timing of these sacred events? Finding the right spouse is just the beginning on a long road of family life. We have shared with many of you the struggles we had in dating and courtship. President Gilbert seemed to know immediately that we should be married. For me, the answer took time and some level of sacrificing things I had been planning on; but the answer did come! In hindsight, I'm grateful for the process because it allowed us to establish our courtship on FAITH and PRAYER, and it helped prepare us for more difficult decisions and experiences ahead.
The need to understand the Lord's timetable showed up later in our marriage as we sought to have children. I vividly remember starting the conversation about whether it was the right time for us to begin our family. Fears that I didn't realize were deep down inside me started to set in. I remembered kneeling as a young girl at the side of my bed and pouring out my heart to Heavenly Father, asking for help to get my body to work right. I feared that my complications might hinder my ability to have children someday. Heaven answered those prayers by an inspired mother who recognized my symptoms and arranged early on for the right medical care. Several years later I let out a sigh of relief as I received my patriarchal blessing promising that I would know the joys of motherhood. Years later, as my new husband and I discussed this topic together, I felt his RESPECT, LOVE, and COMPASSION for me with all of my concerns and insecurities. We walked together in FAITH and PRAYER to start our family.
If I had known how difficult it would be to get our children here, I would have moved faster and more diligently! Today when you see our family of eight healthy children, it may be hard to believe that getting most of them here included countless tests, ultrasounds, fertility treatments, medical miracles, tears, and endless prayers.
At this moment in time, the story of our family weaves together beautifully, and we can see many purposes--including sharing our family with you for the past two years. This path provided an amazing opportunity for us to act in FAITH and taught us the lesson that families are created on the Lord's timetable, not ours.
LESSON #2: Challenges can bring us closer to our families and to the Lord.
We know that each of our lives will be filled with challenges. My challenges won't be the same as yours; but if we let our trials lift us, they can bring us closer to our families and to the Lord. Elder Quentin L. Cook has said:
The refiner's fire is real, and qualities of character and righteousness that are forged in the furnace of affliction perfect and purify us and prepare us to meet God.[2]
A literal refiner's fire for our family began ten years ago tomorrow. We were living in Rexburg with our then six children, under the age of 10. Our twin daughters, Mary and Grace, were not even two months old. When moving to Rexburg the year before, we bought land and started building our home. We planned to raise our children in this home and gave thought and purpose to every detail. On the morning of March 29, 2007, I awoke early to feed and settle our little babies, help the older children get ready, and send Paige (our kindergartener) and James (our 4th grader) out the door for school. I left the twins and three-year-old Emma with a sister who was visiting and attempted to drive the preschool carpool for the first time in many months. This carpool just happened to be through the same neighborhood where the home we were building was located. I loved every chance I had to drive by and see the progress. It was an unusually windy day; and as the roof of our new home came into view, I could see dust billowing over the top of the house. As I turned the corner, I realized it wasn't dust but smoke accompanied by flames coming through the upstairs windows. Our five-year-old Johnny in the backseat screamed, "Mom! THE HOUSE IS ON FIRE!!" With the combination of wind and lack of pressure from the nearby fire hydrants, it was an impossible task to salvage anything. Over the next few minutes, Clark (who raced to my side from campus) and I watched as our beautiful home burned to the ground.
While this was for us a very visible and financially difficult trial, heaven was mindful of our needs. I will never forget how in the days and months after the fire our family became the recipients of countless acts of love and service. We were able to find peace as our family relied heavily on FAITH and PRAYER like never before.
(The kids even thought it was an adventure the day we dressed in black and took this picture in the ruins of our home.) We learned powerful lessons in REPENTANCE and FORGIVENESS as we faced mistakes that had been made and moved on. Most of all, we grew closer as a couple and as a family while we WORKED together to build our home back up again. This is a picture of our family 18 months later.
At this point, we were settled in the rebuilt home and had just welcomed our little baby Lucy who miraculously came to us without any of the earlier mentioned medical help.
I am a witness that challenges can bring us closer to our families and to the Lord as we are willing to learn and grow from the trials we face.
We hope that you will remember our commitment to the family and our efforts to share our family and fulfill the charge we received in our assignment at BYU-Idaho. We hope you will also remember that we aren't perfect and that we have simply tried to do our best. So "fear not, little flock." You can find assurance even when His timetable is not what you expect and even when you face hardships in your lives. I know that as each of us strives to establish and maintain our marriages, families, and lives on the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ, we can find joy and happiness.
In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.
Notes
[1] Luke 12: 32; Doctrine and Covenants 6: 34, 35: 27
[2] Quentin L. Cook, "The Songs They Could Not Sing," Ensign, October 2011