It is an amazing feeling looking at you as a congregation gathered in this wonderful new auditorium. I believe it is important that we have these opportunities to gather and to be strengthened by the Spirit and by each other. That is one of the reasons why this facility was built.
During the design and construction of this beautiful facility, I had the joy of working with and getting to know many of the individuals who helped design and construct this facility. I can testify that the hand of the Lord was in the details of this place and that miracles were experienced throughout the design and construction.
I am also very aware of the number of people it takes to maintain and operate this facility and this campus. All of these individuals are amazing and talented. I express my gratitude to them and to the service they render.
I would be lying if I said that I was excited for this opportunity to speak today. My preference would be to sit down with each of you, individually, and to have a one-on-one conversation and during that conversation take opportunity to share with you my testimony that we are children of a loving Heavenly Father, that He knows each of us personally, that Jesus Christ is truly our Savior and Redeemer, and that you and I have great potential despite all of our challenges and weaknesses. His grace truly is sufficient if we come unto Him and follow Him.
Preparing for something such as speaking at devotional has given me the opportunity to study and ponder on principles of the gospel that I need and want to understand more in my own life. So in a very selfish sense, I am grateful for this opportunity to learn and to grow in my understanding and application of the gospel. It is my prayer that what I have prepared is as beneficial to you as it has been to me.
May I share a personal experience with you?
At a previous institution where I was employed, I had been given the responsibility to meet with a group who was preparing to sue the institution and felt very strongly about what had been done and how it had impacted them. I admit that in the first meeting I handled it very poorly. The tone became accusatory, personal, and quite ugly. I found myself reacting to their anger and frustration in a very inappropriate way. The meeting did not go well, and it would be necessary to meet again.
As I prepared myself for the next meeting, I found myself preparing for war. I thought of everything that might be thrown at me, and I was preparing myself with all the things I could say or do to show them that they were wrong and the institution I worked for was right.
As I was shaving and looking in the mirror that morning and thinking of all that I could do to show them, it came to me, "Charles, choose to pre-forgive. Choose to not be offended." That is what I did. The meeting started out as the first had. I waited patiently until they were done. They had been mean, personal, and offensive. I chose to not be offended, and I listened. It was very hard. When they were done, I simply asked how we could get to a solution to their concerns and frustrations. Once they realized that I was serious about wanting to work with them and come to a resolution, the tone of the meeting changed, apologies were given, and a solution was found that resolved the dispute between the institution and this group at much less cost than going through a lawsuit. The group's leader and I became friends, and I was able to call upon him for future help at the institution. It was a great learning experience for me.
Jesus was asked on one occasion:
"Master, which is the great commandment in the law?
"Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul and with all thy mind.
"This is the first and great commandment.
"And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself. On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets."[1]
These two commandments are inseparable. It is impossible to fulfill the first without fulfilling the second. We cannot love our Father in Heaven without loving our fellow men and loving our neighbor. A most important quality in love is forgiveness. If we truly love our neighbor, we will always be willing and ready to forgive.
Jesus Christ placed great importance on forgiveness. Teaching the multitude, He gave what is known as the Lord's Prayer, in which He said: "And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors."[2] Then he added: "For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your Heavenly Father will also forgive you: But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses."[3] Again the Lord said: "Judge not, that ye be not judged. For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged."[4]
In his epistle to the Ephesians, the Apostle Paul taught: "Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you."[5]
When the adulteress was brought before Christ to be stoned according to the law, He said: "He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her."[6] They all slipped away, leaving the woman alone with Jesus. With no accusers left, Jesus said: "Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more."[7]
Thus, giving the woman the opportunity to repent and be forgiven.
Finally, in agony on the cross, showing the supreme example of forgiveness, He cried out to his Father in Heaven: "Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do."[8]
Can we be as forgiving and as kind as these verses teach us to be?
I would like to make it clear that forgiveness does not require us to accept or tolerate evil. It does not require us to ignore the wrong that we see in the world around us or in our own lives. But as we battle against sin, we must not allow fear, hatred, or anger control our thoughts or actions.
If we have been treated unfairly we should not hate the person who treated us poorly, but we should take appropriate steps to remedy the wrong. If we have been abused, we should not seek revenge, but we should also take steps to prevent further abuse. We must forgive another who injures us, then work constructively to prevent injury from being repeated.
When I was serving as a bishop I was privileged to meet and get to know a wonderful young woman in our ward. Despite abuse and hurt from those who should have provided for her and loved her, she had a remarkable love for others and a strength beyond her own. I asked her how she was able to do it, despite all the terrible things she had been through. She simply stated, "He is there. He is real and it is through Him that I can find the strength and the love to move on."
Forgiveness is not easy. When someone has hurt us or those we care about, that pain can be almost overwhelming. It can feel as if the pain or the injustice is the most important thing in the world and that we have no choice but to seek vengeance. Forgiveness is not instantaneous. It comes more readily when we have faith in the Lord Jesus Christ and trust His word. Such faith and trust enables us to see others as our brothers and sisters even in the worst of times and to look beyond ourselves and our own feelings of hurt or anger.
Christ, the Prince of Peace, teaches us a better way. It can be very difficult to forgive someone the harm they've done us, but when we do, we open ourselves up to a better future. No longer does someone else's wrong doing control our course. When we forgive others, it frees us to choose how we will live our own lives.
One of the most vital qualities of the principle of repentance is forgiveness. Unless each of us can learn to forgive others for real or imagined trespasses against us, we cannot properly repent. Lillian Watson has recorded an interesting episode from the ministry of Phillips Brooks, a great American clergyman, as he addressed his affluent, well-dressed congregation on a Sunday morning in Boston over 100 years ago:
"He looked into the faces of men and women he long had known, men and women who had come to him with their problems, who had asked for his help and guidance. How well he knew what seethed behind the pleasant, smiling mask of their Sunday-best respectability! How well he knew the petty spites that embittered their hearts, the animosities that set neighbor against neighbor, the silly quarrels that were kept alive, the jealousies and misunderstandings, the stubborn pride!
"Today his message was for those bitter, unbending ones who refused to forgive and forget. He must make them realize that life is too short to nurse grievances, to harbor grudges and resentments. He would plead for tolerance and understanding, for sympathy and kindness. He would plead for brotherly love.
"'Oh, my dear friends!' he said . . . and it was as though he spoke to each separately and alone: 'You who are letting miserable misunderstandings run on from year to year, meaning to clear them up some day; You who are keeping wretched quarrels alive because you cannot quite make up your mind that now is the day to sacrifice your pride; You who are passing men sullenly upon the street, not speaking to them out of some silly spite, and yet knowing that it would fill you with shame and remorse if you heard that one of those men were dead tomorrow morning;
"'You who are letting your friends heart ache for a word of appreciation or sympathy, which you mean to give him someday;
"'If you only could know and see and feel, all of a sudden, that the time is short, how it would break the spell! How you would go instantly and do the thing which you might never have another chance to do.'
"As the congregation poured out of church that Sunday morning, people who hadn't spoken in years suddenly smiled and greeted each other . . . and discovered it was what they had been wanting to do all along. Neighbors who had disliked and avoided each other walked home together . . . and were astonished to find how very much they enjoyed doing it. Many who had been grudging and unkind firmly resolved to be more generous in the future, more considerate of others . . . and all at once felt happier and more content, felt at peace with themselves and the world.
"'Forgive,' Phillips Brooks urged his congregation. 'Forget. Bear with the faults of others as you would have them bear with yours. Be patient and understanding. Life is too short to be vengeful or malicious. Life is too short to be petty or unkind.'"
So spoke Philip Brooks over one hundred years ago, that great humanitarian who, incidentally, composed the words to that favorite Christmas hymn, "O Little Town of Bethlehem." Learning to forgive is of great worth in this day as well. Forgiveness is a prime ingredient of love. It is a function of love.
If we truly love others then we have no choice but to believe, trust, accept, and hope that our love will be returned. But there can never be any assurance, never any guarantee. If we wait to love only until we are certain of receiving equal love in return, we may wait forever.
Someone once said, Just because the message may never be received, does not mean it is not worth sending. We love and forgive others because we want to, because it gives us joy. Because we know that growth and discovery of oneself depends upon it.
H. Burke Peterson said:
"Forgiveness of others for wrongs-imaginary or real-often does more for the forgiver than for the forgiven. That person who has not forgiven a wrong or an injury has not yet tasted of one of the sublime enjoyments of life. The human soul seldom reaches such heights of strength or nobility as when it removes all resentments and forgives error or malice. No one can be classed as a true follower of the Savior who is not in the process of removing from his heart and mind every feeling of ill will, bitterness, hatred, envy, or jealousy toward another."[9]
Elder Marvin J. Ashton said:
"Perhaps the greatest charity comes when we are kind to each other, when we don't judge or categorize someone else, when we simply give each other the benefit of the doubt or remain quiet. Charity is accepting someone's differences, weaknesses, and shortcomings; having patience with someone who has let us down; or resisting the impulse to become offended when someone doesn't handle something the way we might have hoped. Charity is refusing to take advantage of another's weakness and being willing to forgive someone who has hurt us. Charity is expecting the best of each other."[10]
To forgive a person once or twice may not be too difficult, but to continue to forgive many times when one has been wronged may become a real test of character.
On one occasion when Jesus was teaching his disciples, Peter approached him and posed this question: "Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times? Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven."[11]
By this declaration we may know that the Savior meant that we should forgive without number or limit.
The Lord has always looked upon sin with disfavor and has exclaimed: "For I the Lord cannot look upon sin with the least degree of allowance." Then he continues: "Nevertheless, he that repents and does the commandments of the Lord shall be forgiven."[12]
While the Lord dislikes sin, He always displays a spirit of love and kindness for the sinner. True forgiveness cannot be partial nor halfhearted. It must be wholehearted, genuine, and without reservation. One has said, "The narrow soul knows not the godlike glory of forgiving!"
At times we forget that the benefit of forgiving extends both ways. It is as beneficial to forgive as to be forgiven. This is not a formula, but a spirit which can bring out the best in people and illuminate every moment of living. It is one of the happy paradoxes of human behavior that the more willing we are to forgive, the less we are called on to forgive.
Forgiveness does not undo what has already been done. It enables us to accept what has been done and go on from there.
As the Lord forgives us, as others forgive us, and as we forgive ourselves and others of past mistakes, we gain the freedom to learn from experience; but forgiving our shortcomings does not mean denying they exist. On the contrary, it means facing them honestly, realistically. Forgiving brings a peace of mind, a pleasant assuredness, and freedom. Unless we forgive, we cannot truly love.
"And if a man be meek and lowly in heart, and confesses by the power of the Holy Ghost that Jesus is the Christ, he must needs have charity; for if he have not charity he is nothing; wherefore he must needs have charity.
"And charity suffereth long, and is kind, and envieth not, and is not puffed up, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil, and rejoiceth not in iniquity but rejoiceth in the truth, beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.
"Wherefore, my beloved brethren, if ye have not charity, ye are nothing, for charity never faileth, Wherefore, cleave unto charity, which is the greatest of all, for all things must fail-
"But charity is the pure love of Christ, and it endureth forever; and whoso is found possessed of it at the last day, it shall be well with him."[13]
I suppose people will always have opposing views, and I suppose there will always be conflict and even misunderstandings. But the principle of mutual respect, mixed with charity and forgiveness, can lay a foundation for the resolving of differences and the solving of problems.
Elder Robert D. Hales stated:
"Some people mistakenly think responses such as silence, meekness, forgiveness, and bearing humble testimony are passive and weak. But to 'love [our] enemies, bless them that curse [us], do good to them that hate [us], and pray for them which despitefully use [us] and persecute [us]' (Matthew 5:44) takes faith, strength, and, most of all, Christian courage. When we do not retaliate-when we turn the other cheek and resist feelings of anger-we too stand with the Savior. We show forth His love, which is the only power that can subdue the adversary and answer our accusers without accusing them in return. That is not weakness. That is Christian courage."[14]
There is another important part of forgiveness. Recently, I was in a private conversation with one who, having committed a serious transgression, had also made intense effort to repent and receive forgiveness from those personally offended, including the Lord. When I asked, "Do you feel forgiven by your Heavenly Father?" he answered very hesitantly but with a qualified response. I asked him, "How do we obtain divine forgiveness?"
He spoke of the steps he had taken in his life to get to this point. He had forsaken his sins of the past, he had confessed, and had attempted to make restitution to those offended and hurt. He described his efforts to live according to the gospel principles and Church standards.
The Savior and His atoning sacrifice were not mentioned.
Despite all of his best efforts in following the steps of repentance, there still appeared to be a burden of remorse and regret for his past sins and a feeling that he must continue to pay for his sins. This is not an isolated case. I believe others are burdened by past mistakes, large and small, because they lack a more perfect understanding of our Father's plan of redemption and mercy.
If we assume that we must pay the price for our sins and thereby earn divine forgiveness, we will not feel free to progress towards our divine potential. The fact is we cannot save ourselves.
We can learn from Enos, the Book of Mormon prophet, and his experience while alone in the forest remembering the words taught by his father concerning eternal life:
"And my soul hungered; and I kneeled down before my Maker, and I cried unto him in mighty prayer and supplication for mine own soul; . . . And there came a voice unto me, saying, Enos, thy sins are forgiven thee. . .Wherefore, my guilt was swept away. And I said, Lord: how is it done? And he said unto me; Because of thy faith in Christ."[15]
Father Lehi taught his son Jacob:
"Wherefore, redemption cometh in and through the Holy Messiah; for he is full of grace and truth.
"Behold, he offereth himself a sacrifice for sin, to answer the ends of the law, unto all those who have a broken heart and a contrite spirit."[16]
The resurrected Christ has said, "For behold, I, God, have suffered these things for all, that they might not suffer if they would repent."[17] To the Nephites he declared, "Return unto me, and repent of your sins, and be converted, that I may heal you."[18]
The Lord's gift of forgiveness is not complete until it is accepted by us. True and complete repentance is a process by which we may become reconciled with God and accept the divine gift of forgiveness. Essential to receiving divine forgiveness is personal, individual recognition and acceptance of our Father's mercy, made available to us by the atoning sacrifice of Jesus Christ and a renewed covenant to obey the principles of the gospel.
If we have completed the steps of repentance and have relied upon the grace and mercy of God, it will be completely natural for us to testify of the Savior and His atoning sacrifice and to strive to be more like Him.
The great Atonement was the supreme act of forgiveness. The magnitude of that Atonement is beyond my ability to completely understand. I know only that it did happen and it was for me and it was for you.
It is through Christ that we gain forgiveness and the ability to forgive. It is through Christ that there comes a promise that all will be granted the blessings of salvation, with resurrection from the dead. It is through Christ and His great atoning sacrifice that we are offered the opportunity, through obedience, of exaltation and eternal life.
It is my prayer that we may be a little more kind and forgiving and that we may seek for forgiveness through Christ. For as we forgive, we achieve the right to be forgiven. As we forgive, we increase our capacity for light and understanding. As we forgive, we live beyond the power of the adversary. As we forgive, our capacity for love expands toward heaven and to all of Heavenly Father's children.
Moroni stated it best when he said:
"Wherefore my beloved brethren, pray unto the Father with all the energy of heart, that ye may be filled with this love, which he hath bestowed upon all who are true followers of his Son, Jesus Christ; that ye may become the sons of God; that when he shall appear we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is; that we may have this hope; that we may be purified even as he is pure."[19]
That we may be a little more like Him is my prayer, in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.
Notes
[1] Matthew 22:36-40
[2] Matthew 6:12
[3] Matthew 6:14-15
[4] Matthew 7:1-2
[5] Ephesians 4:31-32
[6] John 8:7
[7] John 8:11
[8] Luke 23:34
[9] H. Burke Peterson, "Removing the Poison of an Unforgiving Spirit," Ensign, Nov. 1983, 59
[10] Marvin J. Ashton, "The Tongue Can Be a Sharp Sword," Ensign, May 1992, 18
[11] Matthew 18:21-22
[12] Doctrine and Covenants 1:31-32
[13] Moroni 7:44-47
[14] Robert D. Hales, "Christian Courage: The Price of Discipleship," Ensign, Nov. 2008, 72
[15] Enos 1:4-8
[16] 2 Nephi 2:6-7
[17] Doctrine and Covenants 19:16
[18] 3 Nephi 9:13
[19] Moroni 7:48