Sisters and brothers, it is wonderful to be here with you in devotional today, both those attending in this auditorium—including many friends and family members, some of whom have traveled great distances to support me—and those of you watching remotely—including my parents, who are currently serving a mission in Africa.
Not very long ago, I was here at Ricks College (as BYU-I was known then) doing many of the same things you are doing: taking classes, working a job to hopefully have enough money to buy food and pay tuition, living outside my parent’s house for the first time, etc.
During this time in my life, I was often asked WHAT I wanted to be, and I had 2 answers:
- First, a high school chemistry teacher
- Second, a wife and mother
Over the next few years, I worked toward those goals. But as time went on, the WHAT changed.
One of these became better than I originally planned. A mentor asked me why I wasn’t going to grad school so I could come back to teach at Ricks. That had never occurred to me until Dr. Cullen suggested it. I looked into different opportunities, did a lot of praying, and decided to change my educational goals. I then worked hard for a few more years, earned a master’s degree, and was hired as a faculty member at Ricks College—which, a few months later, President Gordon B. Hinckley announced would transition to BYU-Idaho. And I’m still here.
The other goal (to become a wife and mother) hasn’t happened for me. I prayed about it, did what I could to meet worthy men, went on dates (some amazing and some not so fun). I watched roommates, friends, younger siblings, cousins, and others be married and sealed in the temple. I wondered what I was doing wrong. Was I not righteous enough, was I not trying hard enough, was I too picky, was I not pretty enough, was I not, was I not, was I not . . . .
This brought me to one of the lowest points in my life and I started doubting most of the decisions I had ever made. I prayed a desperate prayer. The response I received was unexpected. Heavenly Father told me to stop focusing on whether I was married or not, that He would take that worry away from me, and that I should focus on the other opportunities He was providing for me.
This answer to my prayer changed my life. Instead of worrying about WHAT I was or was not, I started focusing on WHO Heavenly Father wanted and needed me to be as His child and a member of His kingdom.
As I share a few thoughts today about what I learned through my life’s journey so far, I would like you to think about YOUR life, where you currently are, and WHO you want to be and if you have asked Heavenly Father about these things.
I am a chemist. I love chemistry and other science. I love the search for scientific truth and the things we learn along the way. I love the logic and how there is usually just one correct answer. One of the most important things I teach about in my chemistry classes is the periodic table. For many of you, this might just be a jumble of letters and numbers, but once you learn how and why it is organized the way it is, there is a plethora of information contained in it. Now, if you took an individual element out of the periodic table, only a few things are known, like its mass and how many protons and electrons it has. But as part of the whole periodic table, we know so much more—not just how many electrons it has, but where those electrons are around the nucleus. Does this particular element prefer to gain or lose electrons as it interacts with other elements to form bonds? Is it a metal or nonmetal, a solid, liquid, or gas? Does it conduct electricity—and on and on and on (Now, while I would like to keep you here an extra hour and teach you the beauty of the periodic table, that is not the purpose of devotional. But if you are intrigued, take a chemistry class).
Our lives are like that element by itself; we see bits and pieces “through a glass darkly.”[1] But Heavenly Father can see how we fit in His broader plan, both as individuals and how we can interact with His other children to improve lives.
Isn’t it amazing that Heavenly Father knows each of us individually? He knows our strengths, our weaknesses, our struggles, our triumphs. And He knows our full potential, both spiritually as daughters and sons who can become queens and kings in His kingdom and WHO we can become in this mortal life as we learn and grow and bless our families and other children of our Heavenly Father.
In the scriptures, there are multiple examples of people discovering WHO Heavenly Father needed them to be. Oliver Cowdrey was the main scribe for Joseph Smith while he was translating the Book of Mormon. Oliver wanted to try translating and, if you remember, it didn’t go very well. Heavenly Father told him, “Behold, the work which you are called to do is to write for my servant Joseph.”[2]
Many other people during the early days of the Restoration asked Joseph for revelation about what they should do. Commonly, the answer was “be faithful; stand in the office which I have appointed unto you.”[3] These offices were different for different people based on their talents, spiritual gifts, and what Heavenly Father needed to build His latter-day Church. But we aren’t left alone to fulfill our “offices.”
When Nephi went to retrieve the brass plates, he said, “And I was led by the Spirit, not knowing beforehand the things which I should do. Nevertheless I went forth.”[4] When the Israelites left Egypt and were traveling in the wilderness, they were promised, “Behold, I send an Angel before thee, to keep thee in the way, and to bring thee into the place which I have prepared.”[5] Mormon wrote, “I do not know all things; but the Lord knoweth all things which are to come; wherefore, he worketh in me to do according to his will.”[6]
Sometimes it feels like what we are doing is different from what everyone else is doing. This is hard. Elder Jeffrey R. Holland talked about this recently. He said:
When we disparage our uniqueness or try to conform to fictitious stereotypes—stereotypes driven by an insatiable consumer culture and idealized beyond any possible realization by social media—we lose the richness of tone and timbre that God intended when He created a world of diversity. . . . Because you are unique; you are irreplaceable.[7]
Each of us are given different talents and spiritual gifts. That is part of Heavenly Father’s plan. When Sister Sharon Eubank was a counselor in the Relief Society General Presidency, she wrote the following:
God is truly “no respecter of persons.” Knowing this truth helps me understand my eternal purpose. I came to the earth with eons of experience and talent. I also came with certain responsibilities personal to me. My macro-mission is the same as anyone else’s: have experiences, repent and forgive, gain ordinances, serve others. My micro-mission, however, is specific and part of a divine plan for me. If I’m doing my best to keep my covenants, the life I’m living now is part of that plan. I want to respect the life the Lord has given me.[8]My life is currently very different from my brothers’ and sisters’ lives. I could spend hours telling you about each of them and their spouses and the amazing people they are, including my 28 beloved nieces and nephews. What I want to point out is that without each and every one of us, our family would not be whole. None of us is better or more important that the others. We have all followed different paths, but just because they are different doesn’t mean one of us is right and the rest are wrong.
Speaking of paths, when Sister Bonnie H. Cordon was speaking in devotional earlier this semester, she shared the well-known scripture, “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.”[9] I’ve read this scripture many times, but she pointed out something I hadn’t noticed before. “Paths” is plural. Each individual person has different paths and, at different times and seasons in our life, our paths will be different.
So how do we know what path we should be on? Or another way to say, is that WHO we should be? Let’s listen to what our prophet recently asked.
Are you willing to let God prevail in your life? Are you willing to let God be the most important influence in your life? Will you allow His words, His commandments, and His covenants to influence what you do each day? Will you allow His voice to take priority over any other? Are you willing to let whatever He needs you to do take precedence over every other ambition? Are you willing to have your will swallowed up in His?[10]
So, our prophet told us we need to learn God’s will for us and then we need to allow Him to “prevail” in our lives.
Learning God’s will and plan is an individual process that looks different for each of us. Have you learned how the Holy Ghost talks to you? If not, I encourage you to start asking questions and listening for the answers. These answers come in different ways.
In the devotional discussion board this week, I asked, “What are ways you hear or feel the Spirit?” I enjoyed reading your responses. Some of the common answers were when you are:
- Reading the scriptures or words of the living prophets
- Serving others
- Praying
- Making or renewing covenants, including the sacrament and in the temple
- Listening to or singing hymns and other music
- And finding time to unplug from the many distractions of the world
If you don’t have a specific path decided on, then try different things. Elder Richard G Scott taught:
When you are living worthily and your choice is consistent with the Savior’s teachings . . . proceed with trust. . . . God will not let you proceed too far without a warning impression if you have made the wrong decision.[11]This applies to temporal decisions, like what classes to take next semester, your job or career, or where to live. It also applies to spiritual decisions, help with your current calling, how you should minister to those around you, when is the right time to go to the temple for your endowment, who you should marry, when you should start having children. I promise that if you ask, Heavenly Father will help you know the correct answer for your life. The psalmist reminds us that “[God] wilt shew me the path of life.”[12]
Sometimes the answers we receive won’t make sense at the time. Near the time I turned 21, I was trying to decide whether to serve a full-time mission or not. I prayed about it and the answer I received was to not serve a mission. At the time, this was challenging for me. Years later, I realized that if I had left grad school to serve a mission, and because of the transition from Ricks College to BYU-Idaho, there probably would not have been a faculty position available when I finished my master’s degree and I would not be here in Rexburg where Heavenly Father wanted me to be. I sometimes half-jokingly refer to my employment at BYU-Idaho as my “forty-year mission.”
This is just one example; most of the time, I don’t know why I receive specific revelation or answers to prayers. I actually have a list of “why did that happen” questions to ask when I get to the other side of the veil. We have to trust Heavenly Father and move forward along our paths.
Sometimes when I struggle, the line from the hymn “Lead Kindly Light” comes to my mind:
Keep thou my feet; I do not ask to seeThe distant scene—one step enough for me.[13]Our paths are not always a straight line. Have you ever noticed a tree that has a long curve at its base or a “kink” in its trunk? These have fascinated me since I noticed many near our family cabin. Today, I still keep an eye out for them. I even turned my car around and drove back a few miles to get this picture. These are trees who, when they were young, were covered by heavy snow. This caused them to bend—but not break—and changed the way they grew. I’ve even seen some with multiple bends or kinks. Our lives are like that. We make a plan, work towards it, and either something happens to divert that path or we decide it isn’t the path we want to stay on. Talk to anyone over 40 and ask if their life has gone exactly as they planned in their teens or 20s. I haven’t found anyone whose has.
Sometimes in our lives, we will realize we are on a path we don’t want to be on. Once we realize this, we can consult Heavenly Father to know ways to change our current path to a different and hopefully better one.
In Come Follow Me this week, we are studying some of the parables taught by Jesus. The parable of the sower is one of the few times Jesus gave the interpretation of a parable to His disciples. In this parable, seeds are spread on different types of soil or ground. Some seeds fall by the wayside and are eaten by birds. For the seeds that at least start to sprout, some wither; some are choked by thorns; and some bear fruit. President Dallin H. Oaks compared the types of soil to conditions in our day during the April 2015 General Conference.[14] Summarizing both the scriptures and this talk by President Oaks, I’ve learned the seeds that are spread are the “word of God.”[15] The type of soil where they land and start to grow on are:
- “Rocky ground,” which represents shallow receiving or understanding of the word of God
- “Ground full of thorns,” which represents being more concerned about what the world thinks than what God wants us to do or be
- “Good ground,” which represents those who “[hear] the word, keep it and bring forth fruit”[16]
While I would like to say I am always the “good ground,” sometimes I am more rocky or full of thorns. It takes a constant commitment to put off the natural man, to not worry about what the world and others around us think or say, and to trust Heavenly Father.
Unlike the story I told at the beginning of this talk, most of the answers to my prayers are about relatively small things. What should I remember to say when I talk to someone? How to explain a specific chemistry topic to a student who is struggling to understand. How to bless the lives of people around me. How to know what the sisters I minister to need from me.
In last week’s devotional, Elder Peter M. Johnson taught us that faith in Jesus Christ gives us access to divine power. Sometimes I don’t get a direct answer, even to a direct question. In those cases, I move forward as best I can and then trust Heavenly Father to guide me.
When I do get an answer, it usually comes as a feeling or as a small thought in my mind. Sometimes I don’t recognize those thoughts as inspiration until I am reflecting on them later. Most of the time, the answers I get come as feelings about whether I’m taking the next right step or not. My therapist’s favorite response when I ask a question of what I should do next is, “What is your gut telling you?” If I translate that from temporal to spiritual speak, she is saying, “What is the spirit guiding you to do?”
In conclusion, I would like to remind you that Heavenly Father knows and loves you and has a plan for you. If you are willing to ask and listen for answers, I promise that He will help you to know what to do in your life and WHO He can help you become. As Elder Holland said:
[K]eep loving. Keep trying. Keep trusting. Keep believing. Keep growing. Heaven is cheering you on today, tomorrow, and forever.”[17]As I end today, I want to bear my testimony. I know that I am a daughter of Heavenly Parents who love me and all of us. I know that the Church of Jesus Christ is the restored gospel and is guided by a living prophet. I know that Jesus Christ is our Savior, that He lived, died, and was resurrected, and that His Atonement gives us both the power to overcome our trials and to have eternal life with our families. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.
Notes
[1] 1 Corinthians 13:12.
[2] Doctrine and Covenants 9:4, emphasis added.
[3] Doctrine and Covenants 81:5, 57:6–7.
[4] 1 Nephi 4:6–7, emphasis added.
[5] Exodus 23:20.
[6] Words of Mormon 1:7.
[7] Jeffery R. Holland, “Songs Sung and Unsung,” Ensign, May 2017.
[8] Sharon Eubank, “A Letter to a Single Sister,” Ensign, Oct. 2019.
[9] Psalms 3:7–8, emphasis added.
[10] Russel M. Nelson, “Let God Prevail,” Ensign, Nov. 2020.
[11] Richard G. Scott, “Using the Supernal Gift of Prayer,” Ensign, May 2007.
[12] Psalms 16:11.
[13] “Lead Kindly Light,” Hymns, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
[14] See Dallin H. Oaks, “The Parable of the Sower,” Ensign, May 2015.
[15] Luke 8:11.
[16] Luke 8:15.
[17] Jeffrey R. Holland, “Tomorrow the Lord Will Do Wonders among You,” Ensign, May 2016.