I'm grateful for the opportunity to be with you and pray that the Spirit will teach and we will listen. We are blessed to live in an interesting time in history. The fullness of the gospel is spreading across the earth. Temples dot the land. And the power of the priesthood is building the kingdom of God. But it is also a challenging time. Family breakdown is common. The sanctity of marriage is threatened. And wickedness abounds. Surely we live in the best and worst of times--and to what purpose?
Joseph Smith said, "Happiness is the object and design of our existence."[1] I'm sure each of us at times questions our level of happiness. We might believe that we'll be happier when some condition has changed. At age 11, you might have considered happiness to be age 12 when you at last could leave Primary and move on to the Young Men and Young Women programs. But it was only temporary happiness, because you discovered you had to be 14 to attend dances, and 16 to drive and date.
Later, you might have believed that happiness began when you graduated from high school or completed a mission. As students you may believe you'll be happier when the semester is over, when you're dating, when you're married, or when your schooling is done and you have a real job. For some, happiness seems always just around the corner. A few changing conditions, and then we'll be happy.
We can learn much about happiness from the Book of Mormon. In Alma 50:23, we read: "But behold there never was a happier time among the people of Nephi, since the days of Nephi, than in the days of Moroni..." May I remind you that Moroni was a military leader. The Lamanites have attacked the edges of the land and will soon march on Zarahemla. The Kingmen are seeking to overthrow the government. And Moroni's men are without needed supplies. And yet there was never a happier time.
Brothers and sisters, happiness is not dependent on the absence of hardships, stress, or troubles. Neither is it dependent on conditions of peace and prosperity. In fact, facing our challenges with faith and determination may encourage happiness. Nephi taught that there needs be opposition in all things for righteousness and ultimately happiness to be brought to pass.[2]
I'd like to share an example from my own family experience. While it doesn't rival the challenges of pioneers, it had many lessons for us. Years ago my employment took us to Little Rock, Arkansas. We decided to buy a home in the rural suburbs of Little Rock. We had visions of a peaceful country setting with a few acres that would allow us to enjoy the tranquility and beauty of country life.
We quickly found out that we are city folk. We weren't quite sure what to do with our three acres, except mow it. We didn't have any animals-except the unwanted ones that regularly ate our garden. We moved to our little piece of paradise early in the spring with only a 21-inch push lawn mower to serve as both our lawn mower and brush hog. Southern folks will know what I'm talking about. With all the expenses of a new home, we weren't in a position to purchase a large riding lawn mower. Instead, we divided our three acres into five segments and assigned each child who was old enough a segment to mow each week. When one was finished with their segment, the lawn mower would be passed to the next person. Over the course of a week, our lawn generally got mowed. Occasionally, our neighbor would feel sorry for us and make a few swipes with his large tractor-mower.
After a couple of seasons of this, our family was ready for a riding lawn mower. We investigated our options carefully and finally decided on a zero-radius, liquid-cooled 36-horsepower mower with a 60-inch cut that could mow an acre in 12 minutes. The lawn mower was called the "Bad Boy." Our family was excited. Our preschooler asked to take promotional literature to share with his preschool friends. Mowing suddenly became a recreational activity instead of a chore. One night soon after getting our lawnmower, our preschooler came into our bedroom and asked if he could talk with us. He'd obviously had been deep in thought so we gave him our full attention. He said, "Mom, Dad, when you die can I have the lawn mower?"
While this may be a silly story, it illustrates for me how our hardships can help us appreciate the blessings in our life. Had we not experienced the challenge of mowing with a small push mower, I'm quite sure, the new riding lawn mower and satisfaction of a nice yard would have been less exciting and gone largely unappreciated.
Likewise, life's challenges help us to better appreciate our blessings and recognize the joy in daily living. Perhaps the sweet moments of happiness that we experience come not despite hardships and challenges, but because we have risen above them. Clearly, we can and should be happy even during difficult times. President Hinckley reminded us "Life is to be enjoyed, not just endured."[3]
In 2 Nephi 5:27, we're told Nephi and his people "lived after the manner of happiness." As I've studied the manner of happiness among Nephi and his people, I've recognized six things I believe are important to cultivating happiness in our lives.
Keep the Commandments
First, we must keep the commandments. We learn in 2 Nephi 5:10 that Nephi and his people "did observe to keep the judgments and the statutes and the commandments of the Lord in all things." Obedience is key to living after the manner of happiness. When we align our lives with eternal laws and truth, the windows of heaven will be opened wide and we'll prosper in the land. There is no lasting happiness without obedience. Alma taught, "Wickedness never was happiness."[4]
Of course we may not prosper after the manner of the world. Obedience is not a guarantee for financial gain. And financial gain is not a predictor of happiness. One scholar found there is no relationship between happiness and income except among those in extreme poverty. So if you're not starving, more money will not make you happier. But obedience to the commandments is a guarantee that we'll prosper in the Lord's way-after the manner of happiness. My observations and personal experiences have confirmed that we are richly blessed when we keep the commandments.
Serve One Another
Second, we must serve one another. Service gives us purpose. A life of service is living after the manner of happiness. Nephi consecrated priests to serve the people. He desired that he not be their king, but willingly became their servant and teacher. True happiness requires selfless service. The world often encourages a focus on self-interest to the point of selfishness. It fosters extreme individualism and an unhealthy form of self-esteem. As children of God, we have a noble heritage and boundless potential, but our confidence should never border on conceit or pride. Like Ammon of old, our confidence must be based in the Lord.[5] With God, all things are possible.[6] Service can help us build confidence with humility.
The value of service is also evident from the talents and gifts the Lord gives us. In the 46th section of the Doctrine and Covenants, it reads: "For all have not every gift given unto them; for there are many gifts, and to every man is given a gift by the Spirit of God. To some is given one, and to some is given another, that all may be profited thereby."
Each of us has been blessed with different talents and gifts. I have wondered at times why we all aren't given all of the gifts. Why not make everyone a math wiz, an artist, or mechanically minded? I have come to believe that having different talents and gifts makes us dependent on one another. It sets up the scenario of service. It allows us to share our skills with others "that all may be profited thereby profit."
President Joseph F. Smith said:
"There can be no genuine happiness separate and apart from the home, and every effort made to sanctify and preserve its influence is uplifting to those who toil and sacrifice for its establishment. Men and women often seek to substitute some other life for that of the home; they would make themselves believe that the home means restraint; that the highest liberty is the fullest opportunity to move about at will. There is no happiness without service, and there is no service greater than that which converts the home into a divine institution, and which promotes and preserves family life."[7]
There can be no happiness without service. Service gives our lives purpose. It gives us a cause. Having a cause gives our lives meaning and enables happiness. Our founding fathers fought and died in the cause of freedom that all might have the rights of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.[8] What is your cause or purpose? What keeps you engaged in the service of your fellowmen? Participating fully and actively in our families and communities can create many opportunities. It can broaden our network of relationships, provide opportunities for service, and provide a meaningful cause or purpose to which we can contribute our skills. Happiness is being a part of something good.
Years ago as I prepared to depart for full-time missionary service, my stake president told me if I ever came across anyone I disliked, I should find a way to serve them. Then I would learn to love them. I have found this advice to be true. Love and service are virtues that are closely linked. Both are prerequisites to happiness. So if you want to be happy, do something for others. It shows we care for others and helps them care for us. Service connects people and forges relationships. Happiness is helping another.
Cultivate Relationships
Third, we live after the manner of happiness when we cultivate relationships with our family and friends. We believe families are forever. We are born into mortality as social beings. What could be more central to the plan of happiness than family? From 2 Nephi 5:6 we learn it wasn't enough for Nephi to save himself from the wrath of his brothers. He wanted to also save his family. It reads: "Wherefore, it came to pass that I, Nephi, did take my family, and also Zoram and his family, and Sam, mine elder brother and his family, and Jacob and Joseph, my younger brethren, and also my sisters, and all those who would go with me."
Brothers and sisters, we are social beings who are happiest when in the company of loved ones. In the first moments of life, infants seek out familiar voices. They are intrigued by the human face and comforted by human touch. And in a matter of weeks they solicit human interaction through a social smile. We are born to be social. For infants and children, attachments to caregivers provide safety, security, and modeling that ensures healthy development.
But even as adults, we need the support that comes from the "the fellowship of kindred spirits," and "the bearing of one another's burdens." Meaningful relationships help fulfill our need to belong to something bigger than ourselves. The network of friends and family also provides us with opportunities to help or be helped. When there's an emergency, happy people know whom to call to help them through the crisis.
While healthy relationships are a predictor of happiness, we cannot permit troubled relationships to hold our happiness hostage. Nephi's happiness was not dependent on everyone liking him. He fled because his brothers wanted to kill him. In our own lives, there will always be those who point the finger of scorn from the great and spacious building.[9] Like Nephi, at times it may be best for us to separate ourselves from those who threaten physical or spiritual safety.
While we should always be ready to receive the returning prodigal and mend troubled relationships, we cannot comprise our values or leave the straight and narrow path to do so. But, we also should not harbor grudges or be easily offended. Harboring ill feelings will destroy our happiness. We must be quick to forgive.
Too often we ruminate over incidences in the past. Mentally wallowing again and again through the muck of our lives is not good for our happiness. We must forgive, forget, and move on. Happiness is repentance and forgiveness.
Work Hard
Fourth, living after the manner of happiness requires hard work. Unlike his brothers, who became an idle people, Nephi and his people made work a regular part of their lives. From 2 Nephi 5: 17, we read: "And it came to pass that I, Nephi, did cause my people to be industrious, and to labor with their hands."
The Nephites sowed seeds and reaped in abundance. They raised flocks, and herds, and animals of every kind.[10] Nephi taught his people to build buildings and to work all manner of woods and precious ores. The Nephites worked.
At times, we might think we'd be happier with less work and more leisure in our life. While there is satisfaction in a job well done and a place for rest and recreation, work is not something to be shunned-but rather something to be enjoyed. I find it interesting that in Ecclesiastes 5:19 it tells us that every man should "rejoice in his labor: this is a gift from God."[11] I must admit, I have not always considered work a gift from God. But to my surprise, I now find great satisfaction in tilling the earth, laboring with my hands, and toiling by sweat of my face.[12] I am happiest when I am working.
We are richly blessed when we keep God's commandment to work. In fact, working is one of the fundamental Ten Commandments. In Exodus 20:8-9, we're commanded: "Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy. Six days shalt thou labour, and do all thy work..." Often we think of these verses as focusing only on keeping the Sabbath day holy. But that is only half of the commandment. God's commandment to Moses was also "six days shalt thou labor."[13]
But what if we're wealthy or retired and don't need to work to maintain our living? Elder Neal A. Maxwell said, "Work is always a spiritual necessity even if for some, work is not an economical necessity."[14] Work has always and will always be connected to happiness. Certainly we can be overworked. When a challenge becomes a burden laden with anxiety and discouragement, the resulting stress can be overwhelming and unhealthy. The old adage of moderation in all things is certainly true for work. Still we must be anxiously engaged. We must act in faith. We must use our skills and talents to boldly confront the challenges of life.
Happiness does not always require success in our labors, or attainment of the goal--rather there is satisfaction in a consecrated purpose, a focused cause, and a deliberate effort. So if you want to live after the manner of happiness-work on something challenging. Till the earth. Work up a sweat. Enjoy the fruits of your labor. Happiness is knowing you've made a contribution.
Be Prepared
Fifth, living after the manner of happiness requires preparation. In 2 Nephi 5:14, we learn Nephi and his people "did take the sword of Laban, and after the manner of it did make many swords, lest by any means the people who were now called Lamanites should come upon us." Being caught short or found lacking when a challenge hits frustrates our peace of mind and destroys our happiness. Whether the preparation is for an exam, a triathlon, a talk, or an unexpected car repair, it is easier for us to maintain our happiness when we are prepared.
The story is told of a farmer who needed an extra hand to help on his farm. Several interviewed for the position and the farmer asked each about his qualifications for the job. The response of one young man left the farmer both confused and intrigued. He had simply said, "I can sleep when the wind blows." The young man was hired and worked diligently through the harvest.
Autumn ended and the first cold storm of winter came late one night. The farmer panicked as the winds began to blow. Calling the young man for help, the farmer grabbed his coat and boots. He was disappointed to find the young man asleep at a time like this. Grudgingly he ventured out alone to move the animals to the barn and then fix a hole in the roof. He mumbled as he thought of the farm equipment left to rust in the field.
However, when the farmer reached the barn all the animals were tucked safely inside. In fact, clean hay had already been set out for the new day. Not a single hole could be found in the roof, and the tractor was parked perfectly in the shed. "Who could have done it?" the farmer wondered. And then, he realized what the young man's answer meant. "I can sleep when the wind blows."
Our Church leaders have long encouraged us to prepare both physically, educationally, and spiritually for the challenges of life. Preparation is a key part of the BYU-Idaho Learning Model. You'll find your schooling and life a happier experience if you are prepared. Living after the manner of happiness requires preparation.
Choose Happiness
Sixth, living after the manner of happiness requires that we are grateful and choose to be happy. Life wasn't easy for Nephi and his people, but they chose happiness. Yes, there were times of despair. Even Nephi, whose optimism is legendary had times of heartache and discouragement. Times when his "heart wept" and his "soul lingered in the valley of sorrow" and his "strength slackened."[15] Even Nephi at times needed to remind himself to choose to be happy. In 2 Nephi 4:28-30 we read:
"Awake, my soul! No longer droop in sin. Rejoice, O my heart, and give place no more for the enemy of my soul.
"Do not anger again because of mine enemies. Do not slacken my strength because of mine afflictions.
"Rejoice, O my heart, and cry unto the Lord, and say: O Lord, I will praise thee forever; yea, my soul will rejoice in thee, my God, and the rock of my salvation."
We would do well to follow Nephi's example when we are discouraged. Contemplate and remember your many blessings. No longer droop in sin, but rather rejoice in the rock of our salvation. The Lord has given us these reassuring words, "In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world."[16]
Dozens of times we are commanded in the scriptures to be of good cheer. And like Nephi, we know that "the Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of men, save he shall prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them."[17] Let's choose to be obedience. Let's choose to be of good cheer-to be happy.
Several small, but important acts can make the choice of happiness easier. Count your blessings often. Regular expressions of gratitude will remind us frequently of our many blessings. Counting our blessings will help us treasure those things that promise lasting joy.
Go for a hike. I have also found that regular exposure to nature is a concrete reminder of God's majesty and the beauties of creations. It helps me put things in perspective. It helps me to venture beyond the problems that are inches in front of me and helps me to view life with an eternal lens. Put on a happy face. It has been said that if you smile, the world smiles with you. Having a cheerful disposition can dramatically influence how people interact with us. When we are happy, we draw people to us and develop a greater support system. Even a brief exchange of smiles connects us momentarily to others. So make a point to smile. Sometimes our physical actions help determine our deeper emotions.
Conclusion
Brothers and sisters, these are but a few of the keys to a happy life. "The Family: A Proclamation to the World" reminds us "Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ."[18] There are many teachings and "commandments not a few"[19] that will bless us with happiness. Holding to the word of God-the iron rod, will lead us to the tree, "whose fruit is desirable to make one happy."[20] Nephi and his people studied the word of God as found in the brass plates. And they harkened to the words of their living prophets, whose abridged words strengthen us today.
It is also noteworthy that Nephi and his people "did build a temple after the manner of Solomon."[21] I believe the temple serves as a symbol of happiness. There we learn about the plan of salivation, which is the great plan of happiness. The covenants we make require our obedience to the commandments. It is a place of service. The ordinances unite families together for eternity. And we are reminded that work is a central part of our mortal experience.
Surely the temple is a reminder of the principles of happiness. Perhaps this is why President Howard W. Hunter said:
"[I invite the] members of the Church to establish the temple of the Lord as the great symbol of their membership and the supernal setting for their most sacred covenants.... I would hope that every adult member would be worthy of-and carry-a current temple recommend, even if proximity to a temple does not allow immediate or frequent use of it."[22]
Regular temple worship will help us view life through an eternal lens. It will serve as a reminder of the principles and plan of happiness. I pray we will live after the manner of happiness. It won't be easy. There will be hardships, pain, and times of discouragement. But as President Thomas S. Monson has taught, "Let us relish life as we live it, find joy in the journey, and share our love with friends and family."[23] I testify the Church is true, and that the way has been prepared. Now let us follow the path to happiness. This is my prayer, in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.
Notes
[1] Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith, 255
[2] 2 Nephi 2:11
[3] Gordon B. Hinckley, "Stand True and Faithful," Ensign, May 1996, 94
[4] Alma 41:10
[5] Alma 26:12
[6] Matthew 19:26
[7]Teachings of Presidents of the Church: Joseph F. Smith, 1998, 382
[8] U.S. Declaration of Independence
[9] 1 Nephi 8:33
[10] 2 Nephi 5: 11
[11] Ecclesiastes 5:18-19
[12] Genesis 3:19
[13] Exodus 20:9
[14] Neal A. Maxwell, "Put Your Shoulder to the Wheel," Ensign, May 1998
[15] 2 Nephi 4:26:26
[16] John 16:33
[17] 1 Nephi 3:7
[18] "The Family: A Proclamation to the World," Ensign, Nov. 1995, 102
[19] Doctrine and Covenants 59:4
[20] 1 Nephi 8:10
[21] 2 Nephi 5: 16
[22] Howard W. Hunter, "The Great Symbol of Our Membership," Ensign, Oct. 1994
[23]Thomas S. Monson, "Finding Joy in the Journey," Ensign, Nov. 2008