My oldest son, Jackson, left on a mission seven months and twenty-four days ago. The evening Jackson was set apart, our stake president was visiting with our family and asked us to go around the room and take turns offering advice for our missionary. When it was my turn, with a heavy heart, and through a lot of tears, I shared with my son the words of the nineteenth-century American poet Ralph Waldo Emerson. Emerson wrote, "Sorrow looks back, worry looks around, but faith looks up." The next day, we dropped Jackson off at the MTC in Provo. When I saw the look on his face as he was walking away from our car, I thought the only place Jackson or any of our family could look, at that time, was up-with faith. But I was wrong, and so was the poet Emerson. I know our Heavenly Father wants us to look up to Him and our Savior Jesus Christ in faith, but I also believe Heavenly Father wants us to look back other than in times of sorrow and to look around more than in times of worry.
The prophet Lehi taught the importance of looking back when he followed the will of the Lord and sent his sons back to Jerusalem to retrieve the genealogy of his fathers. You are all familiar with the dramatic account of Nephi slaying Laban then donning Laban's armor and sword and going into the treasury to obtain the plates of brass. We have all sung the great Primary anthem and committed to being like Nephi: "I will go! I will do!" But how many of you have really thought about where Nephi was going, what he was doing, and why? How many of you have thought about how important those records really were? How many of you have reflected on Nephi's words: "And we had obtained the records which the Lord had commanded us, and searched them and found that they were desirable; yea, even of great worth unto us, insomuch that we could preserve the commandments of the Lord unto our children"?
You are the children that Nephi was talking about. Every time you read the scriptures, you are looking back. By looking back and studying the scriptures, you are solidifying your foundation and testimony of the gospel. I realize you are very busy with school, but I encourage you to make time to study the records of your fathers, to learn the genealogy of your fathers and mothers-your family history. The experiences of your loved ones can provide the encouragement you need to weather storms of temptations, trials, and sorrow.
I hate camping. I do not like dirt or campfires. In fact, much to the chagrin of my adventurous husband and sons, I have established a rule that I will only sleep in a tent one night every five years. You can only imagine my consternation when my husband and I were called to be a ma and pa for our stake's pioneer trek last summer. I have often read my family history. I have always been proud that my pioneer ancestors were a part of the Willie and Martin handcart companies. Yet I never appreciated-and still cannot fully comprehend-what they went through for me, and you, and every other Latter-day Saint. On the second day of the trek, I participated in the women's pull. It was near record-breaking heat. Several of the youth were suffering from heat stroke, blisters, and sun burns. The sagebrush was waist high, and the ruts in the trail were 12 inches deep. I shared a position at the back of our company's handcart with one other young woman, and there were two young women pulling in the front of the handcart. The men were not allowed to touch the handcarts or help the women in any way as we labored up the 20 percent grade. It was hard! What got me up that hill was looking back. I do not mean looking back at the sisters and handcarts behind me but looking back and thinking about my pioneer ancestors.
My ancestors pushed and pulled heavy handcarts for 117 days, from Iowa City to Salt Lake City, over 1,400 miles in blazing heat, wind, rain, and snow. They did not have Solomon trail shoes, UV-resistant and moisture-wicking clothing, or ice-cold electrolyte drinks at the top of the hill. They did not have Springbar tents, sub-zero sleeping bags, or ATVs to transport the sick and afflicted. In fact, I want to share with you a few entries from the pioneer history of my great, great, great, great grandmother, Sarah Denton Moulton:
"The trials of the Willie Company were getting more difficult all the time. Provisions were running low. The rickety carts were needing repair. Fear that the entire company would perish prevented even proper ceremonies for the dead. The extra burdens put upon the handcarts because of the loss of the wagons and cattle was more than many of the immigrants could bear. Loads had to be greatly lessened by leaving behind more articles of clothing and bedding, which were sorely needed but which had to be disposed of so that progress could be made. To add to these difficulties, winter set in early that year.
Cold weather, scarcity of food, lassitude, and fatigue from over-exertion soon produced their effects. Our old and infirm people began to droop, and they no sooner lost spirit and courage than death's stamp could be traced upon their features . . . At first the deaths occurred slowly and irregularly, but in a few days at more frequent intervals, until we thought it unusual to leave a campground without burying one or more persons . . . Many a father pulled his cart, with his little children on it, until the day preceding his death. I have seen some pull their carts in the morning, give out during the day, and die before the next morning."
These pioneers fled persecution, left their earthly possessions behind, and lost loved ones on the trail for us. When was the last time you looked back at their hardships for inspiration to endure your trials? Whether it is one generation or five, whether it is from your own family history or someone else's, look back. Let their faith-promoting experiences provide the motivation you need to press forward.
A few years ago, my husband and I took our children on a cruise to Mexico. When we stopped in Cabo San Lucas, we decided to go zip lining. This was my first experience, and I guess I expected some lush, cool rain forest that had been cleared enough for us to "zip" from tree to tree. This is what we got. I have never been more scared, hot, or sweaty in my life! My son Wynter was ten years old at the time. Wynter was born prematurely and has been chronically underweight his whole life. Many of you may consider it a blessing to have doctors tell you to slather butter and cream cheese on everything you eat, but trust me, when it comes to zip lining, being underweight is a curse. No matter how fast Wynter started, the laws of physics and motion prevented him from ever making it from point to point. At a particularly wide and high chasm, I volunteered to go with Wynter. I thought for sure our combined weight would be enough to get us across. No such luck. Less than halfway across, we came to a complete stop. We were upside down and backwards. With my legs wrapped around Wynter's body, I began using my arms and the cable to pull us hand over hand across the ravine. It was so hot and exhausting that I quickly lost strength and could not go on. My son and I hung there, hundreds of feet off the ground, scared, and knowing that if something went wrong with the cable or the carabiner, we would plummet to certain death. Although it seemed like an eternity, in reality within a couple of minutes, our guide hooked himself to the cable and came to rescue us. He wrapped his legs around Wynter and me and quickly pulled us to safety.
In Doctrine and Covenants 84:88, our Savior promises, "...I will go before your face. I will be on your right hand and on your left, and my Spirit shall be in your hearts, and mine angels round about you, to bear you up." While it may sometimes feel like we are upside down and backwards, frightened and struggling to make it through life, this scripture reassures us that we are not alone and prompts us to look around for help.
Elder Jeffrey R. Holland profoundly declared:
"Because Jesus walked such a long, lonely path utterly alone, we do not have to do so. His solitary journey brought great company for our little version of the path--the merciful care of our Father in Heaven, the unfailing companionship of this Beloved Son, the consummate gift of the Holy Ghost, angels in heaven, family members on both sides of the veil, prophets and apostles, teachers, leaders, friends. All of these and more have been given as companions for our mortal journey because of the Atonement of Jesus Christ and the Restoration of His gospel. Trumpeted from the summit of Calvary is the truth that we will never be left alone or unaided..."
I testify of the truthfulness of Elder Holland's message-you are not alone; you are not unaided. Brothers and sisters, take a second and look to your left and see who's there. Look to your right and notice who's by your side. Probably more importantly in this day and age, check out how many people are on your contact list in your cell phone. Heavenly Father knew that throughout our entire lives, we would need trusted friends and mentors. Look "round about you"-who is bearing you up personally, academically, and professionally? Who is bearing you up spiritually, emotionally, physically, and mentally? Equally as important: who are you bearing up? Are you an angel to someone?
I know how much you all love group projects. My students tell me all the time they want more group work-they love having their grades dependent on the work ethic of others. Don't you all feel that way? In all seriousness, I firmly believe the "teach one another" aspect of the learning model was divinely inspired to help us have and become mentors and to bear each other up. Principle five of the learning model states:
"At BYU-Idaho, students teach to learn, and learn to teach. When students teach diligently, they receive deeper insight and are instructed more perfectly. When learners and teachers view one another charitably, they create safe learning environments where all can stretch and stumble without fear. All learners-students and faculty-serve others through diligent preparation, cooperative effort, and teaching one another; thus charity replaces competition."
The "teach one another" component of the learning model and the idea of having and being angels, friends, and mentors to each other is patterned after Christ's admonition:
"Master, which is the great commandment in the law? Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself. On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets."
I work full time, go to school full time, and have a lengthy work commute. Needless to say, I sit a lot. People are starting to notice because, recently, Brother Kimpel warned me that "sitting is the new smoking," and my husband has made it his personal mission to get me active and back into shape. A few weeks ago, we were in Sun Valley, and after a big dinner, my husband announced it was time for a hike. When I asked where we would be going, he simply pointed to a mountain and stated, "Just up there for a little ways." He has a habit of doing that. He knows that if he told me how far we would be hiking, I probably would not go. We made our way to the base of the trail and then headed straight up. He kept telling me that we were going to the top, but when there are mountains upon mountains, I did not know what that meant. My legs and lungs were burning and my heart was racing. My husband kept suggesting that I look back at how far we had come or look around at the beauty of nature, but the only thing I could do was look up and wonder if I could really make it.
We will all have experiences in our lives when no amount of looking back or looking around can provide the relief we need and the peace we desire. That is why the Savior promised, "Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you." Jesus Christ knew that we would all have experiences where looking up to Him, in faith, would be our only source of comfort. He is there. He is our advocate with the Father. He is pleading for us and with us when He cries, "Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid."
In the most recent general conference, Elder Donald L. Hallstrom specifically asked us where we look in times of need. Elder Hallstrom remarked:
"In real life, we face actual, not imagined, hardships. There is pain--physical, emotional, and spiritual. There are heartbreaks when circumstances are very different from what we had anticipated. There is injustice when we do not seem to deserve our situation. There are disappointments when someone we trusted failed us. There are health and financial setbacks that can be disorienting. There may be times of question when a matter of doctrine or history is beyond our current understanding. When difficult things occur in our lives, what is our immediate response? Is it confusion or doubt or spiritual withdrawal? Is it a blow to our faith? Do we blame God or others for our circumstances? Or is our first response to remember who we are--that we are children of a loving God?"
Looking up takes strength. Having faith takes discipline, practice, and endurance. Increasing our spiritual capacity takes as much training as increasing our physical capacity. Regardless of how taxing the mental work may seem, sitting in front of a computer screen or behind a steering wheel will never prepare my body to physically get to the top of a mountain. Spiritual capabilities are no different. Faith must be exercised, and looking up takes training.
President Howard W. Hunter cautioned, "Developing spirituality and attuning ourselves to the highest influences of godliness is not an easy matter. It takes time and frequently involves a struggle. It will not happen by chance, but is accomplished only through deliberate effort and by calling upon God and keeping his commandments..."
It is easy to say you have faith when life is smooth. It is much different to actually possess the spiritual strength, which enables hope and trust in our Savior's grace, when you are facing a trial and questioning how you will ever endure it.
Some of you are struggling with school and finances. Many of you are facing major life decisions such as marriage, starting a family, graduate school, and employment. Perhaps you or a loved one is suffering from an addiction. Some of you are battling depression, anxiety, or fear. Perhaps you or a loved one has been diagnosed with a serious illness. Maybe you lost a loved one to an illness or another tragedy. On an academic level, you may believe that Christ will carry your burdens, yet you do not know how to physically and spiritually hand them over. You may feel as though you are pulling your heavy handcart full of trials alone. I encourage you to look back! Speaking about our pioneer ancestors, Brother Brad Wilcox said, "Faithful pioneers knew they were not alone. The task ahead of them was never as great as the power behind them."
Some of you may feel as though you are at a standstill on life's zip line-that you are hanging upside and backwards without the strength to pull yourself to safety. I say to you, "Look around! Help is here; angels surround you and are pulling for you." Brother Wilcox counseled, "Parents are pulling for you, leaders are pulling for you...prophets are pulling for you. And Jesus is pulling with you."
I know many of you are thinking and feeling that you are training your spirituality-you are living the gospel, obeying the commandments, and keeping your covenants, yet it is not enough to endure life's uphill hike. I plead with you to look up! "Christ doesn't just make up the difference; He is the difference." Brother Wilcox exhorted:
"Christ is not waiting at the finish line once we have done 'all we can do.' He is with us every step of the way...[Christ's] grace is not a booster engine that kicks in once our fuel supply is exhausted. Rather, it is our constant energy source. It is not the light at the end of the tunnel but the light that moves us through the tunnel...[Jesus] paid our debt in full. He didn't pay it all except for a few coins. He paid it all. It is finished."
My dear brothers and sisters, your Heavenly Father lives. He knows you better than you know yourselves. He knows how amazing and strong you are because He created you-in His image. He loves you personally, unconditionally, and perfectly. He sent His son to be the ultimate example for you. Jesus Christ lived the perfect life and, out of love, sacrificed it to become your Savior and Redeemer. He intricately felt your joys and your pains-all of them. Look up. Love Him. Learn of Him. Trust in Him. Lean on Him. I so testify in His name, Jesus Christ, amen.