I’d like to begin today with this question: what do you want? When you look out on the horizon of your life, what do you hope to see out there? As you consider that question, I’d like to take you to a specific moment in the Book of Mormon. Alma the Younger, surely with some frustration and sadness in his voice, says, “O that I were an angel, and could have the wish of mine heart, that I might go forth and speak with the trump of God, with a voice to shake the earth, and cry repentance unto every people!” [1] It’s just a few lines after that where Alma says something very interesting. But before I tell you what he says, we need to go back and catch up on the story of the Alma family and how Alma the Younger got to this point in his life.
Alma’s father was also Alma, commonly referred to as Alma the Elder. We first learn about him as a 20-something-year-old priest [2] in the courts of Noah, a wicked Nephite King. While working there, Alma the Elder is converted by the words of the prophet Abinidi and, because of his beliefs, has to run into the wilderness and hide from his former colleagues, the other priests, along with a group of about 450 others. They conceal themselves at a place called the Waters of Mormon, and later in a land called Helam, but are eventually discovered by the Lamanites. To make matters worse, the leader appointed over them by the Lamanites is a man named Amulon, also a former priest of Noah, who still had an axe to grind with Alma. Amulon wanted Alma and his people to suffer.
Now, it’s unclear how much of this Alma the Younger experienced. We don’t know if he was born in the wilderness, or while in Lamanite captivity, or maybe later in the land of Zarahemla. There is a clue, though. In Mosiah 24:8 when describing the difficulties the people of Alma are experiencing under Amulon’s rule, Mormon makes a point to say that Amulon “[caused] that his children should persecute their children,” [3] maybe referring to Alma the Younger. If he was alive during this period, it couldn’t have been easy for him, facing daily harassment and bullying from Amulon’s kids. Later, after the Lord miraculously delivers the people of Alma from the Lamenites, they rejoin the Nephites in Zarahemla. Alma the Elder, now close to 50 years old, [4] is asked to organize the Church throughout the land. It’s safe to assume, because of what we know about Alma the Elder, that home life for Alma the Younger included family home evening, regular scripture study, family prayer, and youth activities. On paper, Alma the Younger should have had all the righteous influence a person needed.
Which is why, at first, it might be a little surprising to learn, when we first meet Alma the Younger in Mosiah 27, that he, along with the king’s sons, don’t believe in the gospel and are among a growing faction of young adults in Zarahemla who aren’t interested in church. At least some of this group don’t just agree to disagree with Church members; they seek to destroy the Church and lead the people astray. Alma convinced many to his way of thinking and, as it says in verse 8, became a great hindrance to the prosperity of the Church of God. [5] I’ve wondered, with a father like Alma the Elder, why Alma the Younger had so much resentment towards the Church. Was it difficult to have a father who was such a strong spiritual leader? Could it be because of the mistreatment and abuse he experienced at the hands of Amulon’s children when he was a kid, if in fact he was alive for some of this experience in the wilderness? What emotional scars did he have from those moments and how did they shape his view of the world and his relationship with God?
Well, you know the rest of the story. An angel visits Alma the Younger and commands him to stop. Alma goes through a very painful and accelerated repentance process and becomes a completely different person. He focuses his energies on trying to repair the damage he caused, and after a time he replaces his father as the high priest of the Church.
Now we’re all caught up and back to Alma 29 where he finds himself, an experienced minister, frustrated that he can’t do more to convince people of the truth. It’s right here, disheartened, he says to himself, “O that I were an angel” [6]—or maybe, in other words, “it was angel that helped me, and if I was an angel, maybe I could save more people.” But then he stops himself and says, “I ought not to harrow up in my desires the firm decree of a just God.” [7] He’s quick to point out how critical choice is to God’s plan, and here’s the line that’s very interesting: “For I know that he granteth unto men according to their desire.” [8]
That phrase, “he granteth unto men according to their desire,” leads me to the question we started with and a few more.
If God gives men what they really desire, what they really want, then what do I want? And is what I want what I should want? And if it’s not, how do I change what I want to what I should want?
Let’s start with the first question: What do I want?
Sometimes what I want can change by the hour. Today, at this moment, I want to be able to finish this devotional and not do something embarrassing.
More often than I’d like to admit, what I want is for people to think of me as smart or funny or athletic or in shape or successful or even good-looking.
There’s also some things I want, like a nice truck instead of the beat-up, unreliable, old junker I drive to work every day. Often the things I want feed my core want to be perceived a certain way by my friends and colleagues.
How do you know what you want? A good place to start is with how you spend your time and what occupies your thoughts, especially when you have a moment to yourself.
Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf taught, “Pause for a moment and check where your own heart and thoughts are. Are you focused on the things that matter most? How you spend your quiet time may provide a valuable clue. Where do your thoughts go when the pressure of deadlines is gone? Are your thoughts and heart focused on those short-lived fleeting things that matter only in the moment or on things that matter most?” [9]
When I was kid, about two weeks before Christmas, my dad said something really weird at dinner. I wasn’t quite sure what Santa was going to bring me for Christmas that year, but the possibilities occupied all my thoughts and time. My dad made the comment that he thought the days leading up to Christmas were more fun than the days after, when all the mystery of what you might be getting is gone. As a kid I didn’t understand that, but now I think I know what he meant. When I’ve really wanted something and then I am finally able to get it, it’s fun at first, but over time that thing isn’t as cool as it was when I was anticipating getting it. Maybe you’ve had a similar experience; you’ve wanted something really bad, but then when you finally have it, it doesn’t have the same meaning anymore.
I stumbled upon this statement from Joseph F. Smith a few years ago. He makes this point much better than I can. “It is very gratifying to parents to be able to respond to the desires of their children, but it is undoubtedly a cruelty to a child to give it everything it asks for. Children may wisely be denied things which even in themselves are harmless.” And here’s the key: "Our pleasures depend often more upon the qualities of our desires than upon the gratification.” [10]
So, we may think we want something, but when we get it, it may not end up being the thing we really wanted. There is a relationship between the quality of the thing we desire and the joy that we might receive when we finally acquire or achieve it.
Question two: Is what I want what I should want?
To answer that question, we’d probably need to know what it is that we should want. There will be personal answers from the Lord for that question, but in general, as Elder Neal A. Maxwell taught, “Whenever spiritually significant things are under way, righteous desires are present.” [11]
Question three: How do I change what I want to what I should want?
What we desire is up to us. Elder Maxwell taught, “Of course our genes, circumstances, and environments matter very much, and they shape us significantly. Yet there remains an inner zone in which we are sovereign. . . . In this zone lies the essence of our individuality and our personal accountability.” [12] Elder Anderson taught, “We are all influenced by our families [and] our culture, and yet I believe there is a place inside of us that we uniquely and individually control and create.” [13] This was true for Alma the Younger. Despite having the high priest of the entire church as a father and probably being taught what his desires should be from a very young age, Alma the Younger didn’t believe it—that is, until he decided to change his desire from destroying the Church to eventually spending all his energy trying to convert people to the truth.
Our desires, while influenced by our personal circumstances, good or bad, are our own to direct.
Sometimes I’ll do things out of obligation because I know I’m supposed to do them, but I don’t really want to do them. Can we ever change that? Can we get to a place where we want to do the things we supposed to do?
Fortunately, if our desires aren’t what they should be, the Lord can educate and tutor our desires until they are of the highest quality. Again Joseph F. Smith: “The education then of our desires is one of far-reaching importance to our happiness in life. God’s ways of educating our desires are, of course, always the most perfect, And what is God’s way? Everywhere in nature we are taught the lessons of patience and waiting. We want things a long time before we get them, and the fact that we wanted them a long time makes them all the more precious when they come. In nature we have our seedtime and harvest; and if children were taught that the desires that they sow may be reaped by and by through patience and labor, they will learn to appreciate whenever a long-looked-for goal has been reached.” [14]
It’s going to take time and we’ll need to be patient.
Elder Richard G. Scott once said, “Think of the long view of life, not just what’s going to happen today or tomorrow. Don’t give up what you most want in life for something you think you want now.” [15]
So how do we do it and where do we begin?
President Oaks has counseled:
How do we educate our desires? We begin, I suppose, with our feelings. The desires of our hearts are deep-seated and fundamental. But our feelings are closer to the surface and easier for us to identify and influence.
In order to have righteous desires, we have to control our thoughts and achieve appropriate feelings. My widowed mother understood that principle. “Pray about your feelings,” she used to say. She taught her three children that we should pray to have the right kind of feelings about our experiences—positive or negative—and about the people we knew. If our feelings were right, we would be more likely to take righteous actions and to act for the right reasons.” [16]
I’ve learned from experience that when I sacrifice some of that discretionary time and give some of my mind to the things of most importance, it’s not as difficult as I thought it would be. For example, I like to wake up early before my wife and kids are awake and go for a run. I almost always listen to something on my phone to help occupy my mind. Some days I might listen to a podcast or music, but there are times where I’ve listened to the Book of Mormon. In fact, I finished the entire Book of Mormon last year, start to finish, while running. This was a significant experience for me. At first it was hard to focus my mind on the scriptures, I had to from time to time stop and rewind the audio because I realized I was zoning out, but each day got a little easier to focus and train my thoughts, and I got to where I couldn’t wait for the next day’s run. That’s been rare for me; a lot of the time I’ve read my scriptures out of obligation, but the Lord helped me change that obligation to a desire.
On this week’s discussion board many of you mentioned how prayer and perseverance have helped to change obligations to desires. Amy Nelson made a particularly insightful comment. She said, “When my desire for an outcome becomes greater than my dislike of whatever it takes to achieve that outcome, I am motivated to accomplish whatever it is that I dislike.”
As we allow the Lord to shape our desires our choices begin to change. In last week’s devotional Brother Joseph West shared a story about his oldest daughter. She had a desire to obtain a degree and a strong desire to become a mother, so she chose to study accounting, a degree and career that would enable her to fulfill both of her desires.
Invitation and Conclusion
Now, let’s go back to where we started. It’s inspiring to me how Alma the Younger’s desires changed so dramatically, from hatred and resentment towards God and the Church, to wishing he was an angel so that he could rescue more lost souls. In fact, his desire was so strong, he gave up the most prominent political office of the day as chief judge so that he could completely focus on his ministry. If Alma’s desires were anything but what they should be, he might have been tempted to stay in political office instead of preaching and ministering the way that he did. Now, even though it seems like he was able to change his desires almost overnight, I’d like to think that even Alma the Younger had to work at keeping his desires what they should be. And that’s true for us too. Ultimately, Alma received what we all should desire and be working for: eternal life and salvation. “He was taken up by the Spirit . . . even as Moses . . . and we suppose that he has also received Alma in the spirit, unto himself.” [17]
If we all get what we want, then I’d invite you to spend some time considering what it is you really want. If you don’t know what you want, or if what you want isn’t what you should want, ask the Lord for help. Pray about your feelings and your experiences so that the Lord can help to educate and tutor your desires. Remember, the highest-quality desires can provide the most joy but almost always take time and patience to acquire. I testify that a loving Heavenly Father knows you. He knows what your desires are, and He will help you improve them. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.
Notes
[1] Alma 29:1.
[2] See Jeffrey R. Holland, “Alma, Son of Alma,” Ensign, Mar. 1977.
[3] Mosiah 24:8.
[4] See Arthur R. Bassett, “Alma the Elder,” Ensign, Feb. 1977.
[5] See Mosiah 27:8.
[6] Alma 29:1.
[7] Alma 29:4.
[8] Ibid.
[9] Dieter F. Uchtdorf, “We Are Doing a Great Work and Cannot Come Down”, Ensign, May 2009.
[10] Joseph F. Smith, Teaching of the Presidents of the Church: Joseph F. Smith, 1998, 302.
[11] Neal A. Maxwell, “According to the Desire of [Our] Hearts,” Ensign, Nov. 1996.
[12] Ibid.
[13] Neil L. Anderson, Brigham Young University Investment Professionals Conference, Sept. 2011.
[14] Joseph F. Smith, Teaching of the Presidents of the Church: Joseph F. Smith, 1998, 302.
[15] Richard G. Scott, “Jesus Christ, Our Redeemer,” Ensign, Apr. 1997.
[16] Dallin H. Oaks, “The Desires of Our Hearts,” Ensign, June 1986.
[17] Alma 45:18.