REXBURG—Radio host Jolyn Thomas believes difficult conversations can strengthen relationships when people approach them with curiosity and a willingness to listen.
Thomas, host of “The Jolyn Thomas Show,” on KID Radio, will discuss “How to Have Hard Conversations” at the Rexburg Area Chamber of Commerce event Women in Business and Leadership on Nov. 10.
In an interview with BYU-Idaho Radio, Thomas said her work behind the microphone has reinforced the importance of hearing different perspectives. She encourages people to approach disagreements with the goal of understanding someone rather than changing their mind.
Thomas said avoiding uncomfortable subjects can allow frustration to build. She recommends taking a step back, finding a calm moment and entering the conversation with openness. Thomas said hard conversations take practice and a willingness to be vulnerable. She encourages people to make room for honest discussion, even when bringing up an uncomfortable subject.
“It’s about getting comfortable with the uncomfortable,” Thomas said.
Listening to another perspective does not require agreeing with it, she explained. Instead, asking questions can help people understand how someone’s experiences shaped their beliefs while also clarifying their own convictions.
When someone becomes defensive, Thomas suggests pausing, acknowledging their emotions and asking questions rather than responding with anger.
“Really good questions can bring a lot of clarity and help move a conversation forward,” Thomas said.
She sometimes asks people to repeat a comment so she can make sure she understands it. That pause, she said, can give the speaker an opportunity to reconsider their words and slow the exchange.
Thomas also encourages people to appreciate differences. Her reminder that variety is the spice of life helps her acknowledge callers with opposing views while keeping the conversation welcoming.
She shared an experience involving a police chief who questioned her interest in an older case. Thomas, whose work has included wrongful convictions, said she initially felt defensive. Instead of arguing, she acknowledged the demands of his job and explained her belief that justice doesn’t have an expiration date. She said that approach helped bring down barriers and led to a productive conversation.
Personal stories are another tool Thomas encourages people to use. She believes sharing experiences can help others see beyond a position and better understand the person holding it.
“I hope they remember that their story matters, and their story is exactly what somebody else may need to hear in any given moment,” Thomas said.
The Women in Business and Leadership event takes place tomorrow from 7 to 8:30 p.m. at Alliance Title, 2108 Trappers Loop in Rexburg. Attendees are invited to bring a holiday wrapped leadership, business or professional development book for a networking gift exchange. New or gently used books are welcome, and extras will be available. Those planning to attend can RSVP through the Rexburg Area Chamber of Commerce.