This week’s BYU-Idaho devotional speaker, Eric Embree, a faculty member in the Communication Department at BYU-Idaho, discussed how to best be our brother’s keeper by way of a poignant metaphor: drowning.
“Drowning is not the violent, splashing call for help that most people expect,” Embree said. “Drowning is almost always a deceptively quiet event. Television has conditioned us to look for waving, splashing, and yelling. This is rarely seen in real life. Someone who is drowning usually doesn’t have the breath to even say, ‘I’m drowning.’ Drowning doesn’t look like drowning.”
Embree built on that idea to say that oftentimes people will hide the internal struggles they’re going through. He suggested ways students can assist those in need of help.
“If we would be lifeguards, we must be willing to get wet,” Embree said, continuing the drowning metaphor. “We must know when to dive into the water, rather than simply shouting encouragement from the shore. Empathy requires us to feel with people, not just feel for people. We must we willing to listen to their stories and seek to really understand their circumstances.”
That aspect of listening is one of the most crucial aspects of being a good lifeguard, Embree suggested.
“Sometimes there’s a real tendency for us to want to take over the conversation, and we do it for good reasons,” Embree said in an interview with BYU-Idaho Radio. “We do it because we’re wanting to try and let the person know that we understand where they’re coming from, and so we say things like, ‘Oh yes, I had that happen to me!’ But what we’re really doing is taking charge of the conversation and moving it onto ourselves.”
Throughout his talk, Embree suggested six principles for being good lifeguards:
- Diligently paying attention to others.
- Watch for physical signs of stress (such as tightness around the eyes or jawline, having a defeated posture or excessive leg movement).
- Listen.
- Acknowledge it. If you see someone who appears stressed, reach out to them.
- Listen to the spirit. Pray for the eyes to see those in need.
- Never ignore a prompting from the Holy Ghost.
“Each bright, happy face may hide a person who is fighting desperately to stay afloat,” he said. “Drowning doesn't always look like drowning. As would-be lifeguards, we must make sure a lifeline is close at hand, keep our eyes on the water, and stay alert.”