An observer who had seen World War II up close in the Philippines said: "There are no atheists in the foxholes."[1] Even though I wasn't in one of those foxholes, I have no reason to doubt that observation. Most people believe in God, but there are a growing number of non-believers of various kinds around. It will not surprise you to find that I count myself among the believers. I'll try to answer the question of how I came to be one and some of the keys to finding and retaining faith.
I was raised in a home of faith where it was accepted as fact that God governed the universe and we were all children of a Heavenly Father that loved us. My parents and my grandparents all believed in God. At a very young age I experienced my first direct answer to a prayer on a matter important to me. Thus I had no other thought in my youth than that God lived, a God that had a personal interest in all of His children.
I carried this faith into the first years of my life as a college student at the University of California at Santa Barbara. About that time, however, a philosophy class opened challenges and raised issues about the very existence of God. About this same time, I faced the decision of whether to take a leave of absence from college to serve a mission. To add to the dilemma the Korean War commenced with its disquieting influence on my generation. I wrestled with the issue of God, not exactly doubting, but thinking more deeply about it. I loved the Church, but being somewhat analytical developed a list of doctrinal and policy issues and concerns to which I wanted to find answers. For me the list was somewhat lengthy and formidable.
What carried the day on the question of leaving college to serve a mission was probably a feeling of trust in my parents' and my grandparents' viewpoint on the existence of God and Jesus Christ together with a feeling that there was good and evil in the world and the Church was a source of light, goodness, and truth. I was drawn somehow to that feeling of goodness, not then knowing its source, but despite my decision to serve I wanted to know more and I wanted to find answers to my concerns. Reading the Book of Mormon gave me enough assurance to go on, but it also made me realize how much I didn't know and gave me a thirst to want to know more, much more. If I am right some of you may have had somewhat similar experiences to mine. My concerns were not completely resolved as I entered the mission home in Salt Lake City, today's equivalent of the MTC. That period in the mission home answered one of the most basic issues I faced: does God still speak to the Church today? Is the Church guided by revelation from God?
The teachers at the mission home were mostly General Authorities of the Church. One of them was Elder Joseph F. Merrill of the Quorum of Twelve Apostles. A noted Ph.D. scholar in physics, he had been a professor at the University of Utah before his call to the Twelve in 1931, the year I was born. He spoke on that very issue and testified to us matter-of-factly with his scientific approach that revelation has continued in and guided the Church. When he allowed questions, one elder asked Elder Merrill: "When did the Church receive the last revelation from God?" Elder Merrill answered quickly and emphatically, "Last Thursday in the Salt Lake Temple."
Elder Merrill then paused a moment in thought, and added: "We expect President Don Colton (the mission president), to come through the door at the end of the hour, is that right?" President Colton's approach was to introduce each speaker at the beginning of the hour and then return to introduce the next speaker at the end of the hour. We were in the middle of Elder Merrill's hour and thus did not expect President Colton. Elder Merrill said simply: "President Colton will shortly enter the room." The door almost immediately opened and President Colton entered with a message for one of the missionaries. Elder Merrill had calmly received a message from above and we all knew it.
I entered my first assignment in northern Montana with enthusiasm, but also full of desire to know more. I read everything about the gospel I could get my hands on, and especially the scriptures which I read over and over until my eyes were sore. Over the next couple of months, I found answers to virtually all of my questions, enough so that I felt complete assurance that there were answers to all of my fundamental questions. We never in this life get to know everything, but I knew enough and had enough experience by then that my testimony had become firm. It has never left me, even though I still have things I would like to more fully understand. I felt sorry for my first companion who had to put up with all of my probing and searching. The result of this early experience was personally helpful and powerful. Study and reasoning had confirmed the feelings of the heart that caused me to volunteer for missionary service.
As you undoubtedly know, and as I was finding out, there are more ways than one to learn spiritual truths. One of them is by study and reason. Section 109 of the Doctrine & Covenants advised us to "seek wisdom out of the best books."[2] We are further admonished to:
Teach one another the doctrine of the kingdom...that you may be instructed more perfectly in theory, in principle, in doctrine, in the law of the gospel, in all things that pertain unto the Kingdom of God, that are expedient for you to understand; of things both in heaven and in the earth, and under the earth; things which have been, things which are, things which must shortly come to pass; things which are at home, things which are abroad; the wars and perplexities of the nations, and the judgments which are on the land; and a knowledge also of countries and of kingdoms.[3]
Wow! The scope of that admonition is breathtaking. That is a call to a lifetime of study and reasoning for each of us to undertake and follow.
Thus we see that it is good to know as much as we can know about these things. But the greater way to know the things of God is through the heart. I already knew what I needed to know before I began my missionary service, because I had those feelings of my heart I earlier described. The great mathematician and philosopher, Blaise Pascal, grappled not only with mathematics, but with spiritual questions. He dealt in probabilities, and came to this conclusion among many others during his thirty-nine years on earth: "It is the heart which experiences God, and not the reason. This, then, is faith: God felt by the heart, not by the reason."[4]
Both study and reason are ways to learn, but we need eventually and as early as possible in our lives to feel things in our hearts. I hadn't paid the price to know enough to answer all my questions during the period I have shared with you, but my heart persuaded me to serve the Lord and in time the answers came. Pascal, who lived from 1623 to 1662, concluded, after thinking deeply about the issue of God, that if we follow our feeling that God exists, and it proves to be true, it will provide infinite-yes, infinite-gains and benefits. We would lose but little if it turned out that God does not exist. Those losses will be finite and as nothing when compared to the gains and benefits that follow from the existence of God. His reasoning is still true today.
Now, what are the sources of knowledge available to us from above? Beyond what we learn from reason and life's experiences, which teach us much, we also know that there is a source of knowledge called the Spirit of Jesus Christ. That Spirit emanates from Christ and "lighteneth every man that cometh into the world."[5] If we are sensitive to know when that Spirit is working with us we can receive personal revelation in the form of feelings and knowledge that come from God. Moroni in the Book of Mormon expanded our understanding of the Spirit of Christ. He taught us that "...the Spirit of Christ is given to every man, that he may know good from evil; wherefore, I show unto you the way to judge; for everything which inviteth to do good, and to persuade to believe in Christ, is sent forth by the power and gift of Christ; wherefore ye may know with a perfect knowledge it is of God."[6]
He also taught that there is another spirit that persuades men to do evil, and not to believe in Christ, but rather to deny Christ giving license to not serve God.[7] This other spirit comes from another powerful source, that of the devil.
From the Apostle John's and Moroni's teachings we have learned that if a feeling or spirit persuades us to do good things, it comes from Jesus Christ. If a different spirit that works with us tries to persuade us to disbelieve in God and Christ and to do evil things, we know that this comes from the deceptive source.
Section 88 of the Doctrine & Covenants also teaches us that the light of Christ is the light of the sun, and the power by which it is made, and the light of the moon, stars, and the earth and their power. This light enlightens us and quickens our understanding. It proceeds forth from God's presence to fill the immensity of space.[8]
If we recognize and catch hold of that light and follow it we gain understanding of all things that are important and we will be led to do good continually.
It is obvious that the devil leads many astray. The growing disbelief in God and Christ are evidence of that and the result of it. This evil spirit is abroad in the earth
In addition to the benefits of those teachings about the Spirit of Christ, the Doctrine & Covenants gives us some important clues to follow when we try to discern what spirits are trying to persuade us. Some early disciples of the Church began to receive what they asserted was revelation from God, but which led them onto confusing paths. The Lord gave us help in dealing with and discerning this kind of confusion. After explaining that false spirits were deceiving the world, and even some of the children in the Church, The Lord told the assembled elders of the Church in Kirtland: "...now come, saith the Lord, by the Spirit, unto the elders of his church, and let us reason together that ye may understand."[9]
He then explained that when the elders received the word by the Spirit of Truth both "he that preacheth and he that receiveth, understand one another, and both are edified (that is, built up) and rejoice together."[10]
He continued, explaining that when the alleged revelation does not edify them, that is to say, does not enlighten, instruct, and built them up, its source "is not of God, and is darkness."[11] He went on to explain to the elders: "That which is of God is light; and he that receiveth light, and continueth in God, receiveth more light; and that light growth brighter and brighter until the perfect day."[12] The perfect day would be that day when we truly know fully that God lives and Jesus is our Savior, independent of all other knowledge and independent of what others know and believe.
Notice that this light does not come all at once, but rather step by step, light upon light, line upon line, precept upon precept. And it comes in our hearts so we know it and feel it. This is how we know that what we are receiving is from God and not another source.
We also have another and even greater source of learning gospel truths. We again turn to Moroni who explained that if we receive the Book of Mormon and read it, and indeed this is true with all other scriptures, and "ask God the Eternal Father in the name of Christ, if these things are not true," and if we do it "with a sincere heart having faith in Christ, he will manifest the truth of it unto you by the power of the Holy Ghost. And by the power of the Holy Ghost ye may know the truth of all things."[13]
Thus we have another source of revelation that teaches us the greater truths of the gospel of Christ and brings them to our remembrance when we need them.[14] The Holy Ghost also testifies to us of Christ.[15] It comforts us and fills us with peace and knowledge. That is why it is also known as the comforter.
I have spoken of the two great sources of knowledge and revelation from God. They are the Spirit of Christ that is given to all men and women to know good from evil and the Holy Ghost which teaches us the gospel and testifies of Christ as our Savior and Redeemer.
I have also identified a source to avoid. That is the spirit that teaches us to do evil in our lives and persuades us to disbelieve in God and Jesus Christ.
I have given you a quiet and meaningful way to determine the source of information that comes to us. One source is confusing and dark. It teaches us both to do evil in our lives and disbelieve in God and Christ. The good source builds us, instructs us, enlightens us, and brings us peace and comfort. Importantly it also testifies to us that Jesus is our Savior and that the scriptures are true sources of God's revelation to man.
I mention one other warning from the scriptures. It is that we should not seek after signs and wonders for our faith. The Savior taught the people not to be sign seekers while he was on the earth.[16] He taught again, in this dispensation, that "he that seeketh signs shall see signs, but not unto salvation."[17] He further taught us that "faith cometh not by signs, but signs follow those that believe."[18]
In the Book of Mormon, Korihor, an unbeliever, demanded that Alma show him as sign as a condition to his believing in God. After warning him about sign seeking, and letting him know he had signs enough just looking into the universe, Alma gave him the sign of striking him dumb.[19]
Miracles and signs are part of the true Church, but they generally come to people that have faith and when we least expect them. God loves us and helps us in many ways we cannot see, and sometimes gives us a glimpse of His great love. We know in our hearts the truth Psalm 23 teaches: "The Lord is [our] Shepherd...yea, though [we] walk through the valley of the shadow of death, [we] will fear no evil; for thou art with [us]."[20]
A little over two weeks ago our automobile was struck by another automobile under circumstances that we know we would ordinarily have been killed, but we were saved and truly felt the love and peace of our Shepherd.
You, we, and anyone else can know God's love, but I make one last point in parting. You have to want to know enough to exercise just a particle of faith like planting a seed and the Lord will cause the seed to swell and sprout and grow to a magnificent tree of faith.[21] Your knowledge in time can grow to be perfect in that way. But you have to want it. Or, as Rexburg's Seventy Don Clark says, "Ya Gotta Wanta." You have to do your part. We have our good minds to reason, our experiences, and most important, we have the Spirit of Christ and the Holy Ghost to teach us. We thank the Lord for his goodness and mercy to us and share our testimonies as believers in the name of Jesus Christ.
Notes
[1] Bartlett's Familiar Quotations, 16th Edition, p. 711
[2] D&C 109:14
[3] D&C 88:77-79
[4] Pascal, Great Books of the Western World, No. 33, Page 222
[5] John 1:19
[6] Moroni 7:16
[7] Moroni 7:17
[8] D&C 88:6-12
[9] D&C 63:7
[10] D&C 50:21
[11] Moroni 10:4-5
[12] D&C 50:24
[13] Moroni 10:4-5
[14] John 14:15-17
[15] John 15:26
[16] Mark 8:11; Matt. 16:1-4
[17] D&C 63:7
[18] D&C 63:9
[19] Alma 30:43-53
[20] Psalm 23
[21] Alma 32:26-34