Roger Jackson
Financial Services Technology Coordinator
Roger graduated from Boise State University with a bachelor’s degree in accounting and, after becoming a Certified Public Accountant in 1983, worked in public firms and for a wood-products company. Twenty-seven years ago he began working at Ricks College, and is currently BYU-Idaho’s Financial Services Technology Coordinator.
Spiritual Preparation
Please respond to the questions below on the devotional discussion board:
We would all like to feel the Spirit all the time, but sometimes it just doesn’t work that way. How do you keep your testimony strong during those times when answers don’t come right away? Are there processes or routines you use to see you through those challenges?
Although I have had the privilege of working at BYU-Idaho for the past 27 years, I must admit to a little surprise when asked to share my thoughts in today’s devotional. I am not a scriptorian, professor, or any kind of professional speaker.
I am an accountant. I like to sit quietly in my corner of campus and crunch numbers. One of my favorite quotes is, “It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt,” [1] which of course makes me wonder what I am doing here.
I am also a father of three really great kids. They are grown now, and busy with their own careers and families. I often think about my children and wonder, as I suppose many fathers do, if I’ve ever taught them anything of use. I hope one of the things they do remember is something I learned from my own father.
I was raised by two parents who loved and respected each other, in a household where I always knew I was loved and wanted. That said, my father did not teach me that our church was true. My father was not a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. For over 20 years, he resisted the efforts of several sets of missionaries and the encouragement of many caring ward members.
It would, however, be a gross mischaracterization for me to imply, or for you to infer, that my father took my membership in the Church lightly.
This was back in the “good old days” when we made at least three trips to church each Sunday. Priesthood meeting started at oh dark thirty, Sunday School was in the middle of the day, and sacrament meeting was in early evening.
My father knew when all of those meetings started. He made sure our family was there, and on time. He always supported my mother by attending Sunday School and sacrament meeting with us. When I was ordained a deacon, my dad woke me up every Sunday morning and took me to priesthood meeting.
My father was very serious about my participation in what he viewed as a worthwhile activity. More than that, he taught me at a very early age that being a part of any organization or activity meant I committed my support. Dad believed strongly in the concept of duty and responsibility. He believed that, as a member of the Church, I had certain responsibilities and I had a duty to carry out those responsibilities. Furthermore, he taught me it didn’t matter what my calling or assignment was; it was important I work hard to fulfill my obligations.
Even though my dad wasn’t a member of the Church, he often told me, “Always do the best you can do at whatever you’re doing. So, if you’re going to be a ‘Mormon’, be a good one.”
As is the case with all of us, I reached a point in my life where I had to decide if I even wanted to be a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I needed to find out for myself if the Church was true. So, I followed the very simple process outlined in Moroni 10.
I read the Book of Mormon and prayed about it.
After much reading, praying, and fasting on my part, the Spirit did testify to me that the Book of Mormon is the word of God, which of course means the Church has been restored to the earth and we are led today by apostles and prophets. Because of my testimony and because of the strong sense of duty my father instilled in me, I determined I needed to “be a good one” when it came to my membership in the Church.
Since then, I have tried to be a good member of the Church—to accept callings, pay my tithing, and (in spite of a teenage rebel streak that endures to this day) always follow the counsel of my Church leaders.
Sometimes it’s easy.
My life has been filled with miracles, both small and great, reinforcing that God is in the details. He watches over us and those we care about.
A few years ago, my daughters, Abby and Kylie, were traveling together. Abby was driving when a semi-truck going in the opposite direction on the other side of the freeway, lost an axle. The entire axle bounced across the road, even catching the median on fire.
Abby clearly heard a voice telling her, “Just keep driving. Just keep driving.”
That axle—tire and all—slammed into the driver’s side of the car, tearing off the mirror, breaking out both windows, and crumpling every body panel on that side of the vehicle.
The state police officer at the scene told us if Abby would have swerved or hit her brakes, that wheel would most likely have hit the car head-on, killing them both.
But that didn’t happen. Abby listened to that still, small voice and “just kept driving.” With the exception of a few bumps and bruises and picking auto glass fragments out of their hair and clothes for several days, both of my sweet girls walked away unscathed.
That was a miracle.
Our premature baby grew up healthy and strong. My wife had a serious blood clot after childbirth, yet she is with me today. A position at Ricks College I wasn’t even aware of was offered to me. And a kite, the only entertainment a poor newlywed couple had, was lost due to a broken string, yet found a mile away.
Yes, I have witnessed many miracles that have strengthened my testimony and increased my gratitude for my Savior.
It’s easy to be a good person and a good member of the Church when you see and recognize miracles and feel the Spirit in your life.
But there are times in our lives when we don’t feel the Spirit close by, or we don’t recognize miracles that do happen. And as wonderful as miracles are, they are not certain.
During those times, “being a good one” can be hard. How do we get through the inevitable spiritual lows and keen disappointments that are part of this mortal journey?
Two days after Christmas in 1992, at the relatively young age of 64, my father was admitted to the hospital with a mild case of pneumonia. His doctor was a little concerned as Dad was also jaundiced, with no obvious reason why. Tests revealed nothing conclusive. However, the pneumonia symptoms were decreasing, and we all felt Dad was on the mend.
My mother requested that my father receive a priesthood blessing. A close long-time friend of my parents sealed the anointing with a wonderful blessing during which my father was told he would be healed.
The next morning, a nurse visited my father and asked what he would like for breakfast. When she returned a few minutes later, she discovered that Dad had gotten out of bed and made his way to the window, where he slumped to the floor and died.
How did that happen? My father had a priesthood blessing. He was promised he would be healed. We had faith and believed he would be healed. Where was our miracle? My dad, who always tried to be his best at whatever he was doing, had died anyway.
Many people observe miracles in their lives and the lives of loved ones, and their faith and testimony are strengthened by what they see. I believe those who fundamentally base their testimony on observed events face a potentially serious problem.
A testimony must be based on more than miracles, because the miracle you want is not always the one you get. It has been my observation that firm faith is based on what the Spirit tells us, not upon what we see or experience.
In addition, the power of an observed miracle can be somewhat limited.
One of my earliest insights in the Book of Mormon comes appropriately from the very beginning of Nephi’s narrative.
In 1 Nephi 3, Nephi recounts, “And it came to pass that Laman was angry with me, and also with my father; and also was Lemuel, for he hearkened unto the words of Laman. Wherefore Laman and Lemuel did speak many hard words unto us, their younger brothers, and they did smite us even with a rod.” [2]
At this point something miraculous occurs. Nephi somewhat nonchalantly notes, “And it came to pass as they smote us with a rod, behold, an angel of the Lord came and stood before them.” [3]
Did you hear that?
Laman and Lemuel saw an angel. An angel stood right there, in front of them.
I think most of us would agree, a visit from an angel qualifies as a miraculous event. So, what comes next has always blown my mind. In verse 29, the angel appears. In verse 30, the angel departs.
Then, in verse 31: “And after the angel had departed, Laman and Lemuel again began to murmur, saying: How is it possible that the Lord will deliver Laban into our hands?” [4]
Laman and Lemuel witnessed a miracle, and within one verse of the story, they were back to murmuring and questioning. The observation of a miracle did not result in even a fleeting conversion. Laman and Lemuel were so used to murmuring, questioning, and blaming every problem and setback on their brother Nephi, that when an actual angel stood before them, they barely noticed.
The world is full of examples of those who are the beneficiaries of miracles, and those who at first glance are not. It follows that if we base our faith solely on observed miracles, we can easily lose that faith when the hoped-for miracle does not occur.
I am leery of what I refer to as the “contractual gospel” as a foundation of testimony. I understand there are blessings attached to obedience. The Lord tells us this quite plainly in D&C 82:10: He is bound when we do what He says. And in D&C 130:21, we are told all blessings are based upon obedience to God’s law. So, clearly, the “contractual gospel” is a fact, and I do not disagree with that. What I worry about and try to guard against is a belief on my part that I wrote the contract, or that I know all the terms of the contract.
Although my father and our family didn’t receive the blessing we wanted—even expected—I believe we did receive the blessing the Lord intended.
As Sister Renee Christensen taught us in last week’s devotional, we don’t always know everything Heavenly Father has planned for us.
We can’t see the whole picture. We don’t get to write the contract.
My wife and I have a friend who at one time was questioning her relationship with God. She did not like the fact that we don’t know all the terms of the contract, saying, “Well, that’s awfully convenient for God.” I thought her comment was a perfect illustration of the problem with basing one’s testimony on observed events. The miracles we see in our lives and the lives of others are a wonderful way of strengthening our testimony, but they are not the best way of establishing and preserving a testimony.
So, when challenging times come—and they will—how do we protect and preserve our testimony? What is the best foundation for a strong testimony?
Elder Kevin W. Pearson admonished, “When adversity comes, don’t let something you don’t fully understand unravel everything you do know.” [5]
The following are three actions that help me rely on the things I do know, and help me continue to cultivate my testimony, especially during those difficult times when I don’t feel the Spirit as strongly as I’d like.
Remember the experience that helped me gain my testimony.
Understand distance provides perspective.
Accept the duty and responsibility that comes with receiving a testimony.
In other words, “be a good one.”
To illustrate these three actions, I’d like to share a mission experience.
I served in the Belgium Antwerp Mission, an area where, at that time, convert baptisms rarely happened. Spiritual experiences seemed few and far between. For me, my mission was difficult and grueling and hard. The only family whose baptism I had a small part in, quit coming to church after about eight months. I was discouraged and wondered what in the world I was doing there.
In the early days of the Restoration, Oliver Cowdery, who had previously received a spiritual witness of the truthfulness of the Restoration, asked the Lord for additional confirmation. As a response to Oliver’s request, the Prophet Joseph received the revelation now recorded in section 6 of the Doctrine and Covenants.
Beginning in verse 22, the Lord said:
Verily, verily, I say unto you, if you desire a further witness, cast your mind upon the night that you cried unto me in your heart, that you might know concerning the truth of these things.
Did I not speak peace to your mind concerning the matter? What greater witness can you have than from God? [6]
The Lord essentially told Oliver he didn’t need to have continuous spiritual experiences. The Lord’s direction to Oliver was to remember what he had already felt and seen.
Although a few weeks later, as one of the Three Witnesses, Oliver would receive a visit from the angel Moroni, the Lord did not say, “Hey, something big is coming.” Instead, He reminded Oliver of what he already knew.
As a struggling young missionary, wondering why I was even there when no one wanted to hear about the gospel, I read the story of Oliver Cowdery and his desire for a new witness, sign, or miracle. I tried to remember why I decided to go on a mission in the first place. I recalled the time when the Spirit testified to me of the truthfulness of the restored Church. Why did I believe? Was I wishing for or expecting a new miracle? I had to think back on that feeling and consider my own testimony. Where did it come from?
And then, even though I wasn’t feeling like I was accomplishing anything, I knew I had a duty and responsibility that came with receiving a testimony. I knew the gospel was real. I knew the Church was true.
The fact was, I was a missionary. And my dad had taught me that whatever I’m going to be, I want to be a good one.
So, I kept going. I really tried. And it was still difficult and grueling and hard. But I did it.
Six months into my mission, I was assigned to serve in Turnhout, Belgium, with Elder Matt Stephenson. Matt was a short, spunky elder from Boise, Idaho. He was smart and fun and one of the hardest-working elders I have ever known.
Elder Stephenson and I served together for three months with a success rate just about the same as always. We taught a lot of first discussions and never did have any serious investigators. However, we enjoyed working together and became great friends.
A few months after I returned from my mission, Laurene and I were married. (Yes, she and I were one of “those couples.”) We made sure to schedule our wedding the week after Elder Stephenson got home so he could be my best man.
By a happy set of events, Matt and I ended up buying houses right next door to each other in Boise, Idaho. We enjoyed living close to him and his wife, Maureen, for several years. They continue as some of our very best friends.
Five years ago, Matt and I returned to Belgium, this time with our wives. We had a lot of fun traveling together and reminiscing about our days as missionaries.
Our friendship has endured for over 40 years. I would never have met Matt if I had not accepted the duty and responsibility to complete my missionary service.
The greatest blessing that occurred for my family while I was serving as a missionary l learned about from a letter my younger brother sent to me. He told me all of the latest happenings in his 11-year-old life, then ended his letter with, “P.S. Dad got baptized last night.”
What?
Although no one I taught in Belgium has stayed active in the Church, knowing my own father embraced the gospel while I was serving as a missionary has been the best baptism I could have ever wished for. I dealt with the challenges of my mission by following the principles I previously mentioned:
Remember the experience that helped me gain my testimony.
I recalled how I felt when the Spirit testified to me. I received an assurance of the truthfulness of the gospel then; I still know it now.
Understand distance provides perspective.
As I look back, I recognize blessings directly related to my missionary service that might not have been obvious at the time.
Accept the duty and responsibility that comes with receiving a testimony.
I had an obligation and accountability that comes from having a sure testimony. Even though it wasn’t easy, I kept trying. I did my best at what I was doing—trying to “be a good one.”
So, what does all this mean to us as students and employees here at BYU-Idaho?
There will be times, many times, when we won’t experience miracles. It will feel like our prayers aren’t being answered.
Elder David A. Bednar has told us that righteousness and faith are certainly instrumental in healing the sick, deaf, and lame, and even in moving mountains—if such miracles are in accordance with God’s will.
Yet, “if all opposition were curtailed, if all maladies were removed, then the primary purposes of the Father’s plan would be frustrated.
Many of the lessons we are to learn in mortality can only be received through the things we experience and sometimes suffer. And God expects and trusts us to face temporary mortal adversity with His help so we can learn what we need to learn and ultimately become what we are to become in eternity.” [7]
When those times come—and we have certainly established that they will come:
Remember the times and experiences that helped you establish your testimony.
On this week’s devotional discussion board, Joseph Kempner reminds us that God has not changed his mind about the truth of the gospel. “What greater witness can you have than from God?” [8]
Understand distance provides perspective.
Things will look different, and often better, next week, next month, or next year. Trust in the Lord’s timing. President Dallin H. Oaks reminds us, “Even our most righteous desires may elude us, or come in different ways or at different times than we have sought to plan.” [9]
Accept the duty and responsibility that comes with receiving a testimony.
President Thomas S. Monson often recited this verse penned by Longfellow. “Do [your] duty; that is best; Leave unto [the] Lord the rest!” [10]
Sister Sue Clark articulated duty and responsibility well when she spoke to students here at BYU-Idaho.
Be there for all of your ward’s meetings and activities. When you’re supposed to be in class, be there. When you’re supposed to be at family home evening, be there. Be there for your work and service commitments. Be there for your roommates. Go through your day saying to yourself, “Where am I supposed to be?” And then be there. Developing and keeping that habit will bless your lives and help to keep you on the straight and narrow path. [11]
In other words, “be a good one.”
When my father passed away, my family was shocked and devastated. We each handled it in our own way.
Because I had received an answer long before, I knew the truth of the gospel and the depth of God’s love for me. And because I had developed patterns of behavior based on that answer, I had the kind of “spiritual muscle memory” I needed to continue my relationship with God, to not turn my back on my testimony when this miracle, which I desperately wanted, did not come.
As you can see, because I am standing here today, I am a committed member of the Lord’s Church. And for the most part, I have tried to follow my father’s long-ago admonition that if I am going to be a member of the Lord’s Church, I should be a good one.
I testify that God lives and He loves us, that Jesus Christ is our Savior and He loves us, that the Church of Jesus Christ has been restored to the earth and is led by living prophets today.
I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.
[1] Maurice Switzer.
[2] 1 Nephi 3:28.
[3] 1 Nephi 3:29.
[4] 1 Nephi 3:31.
[5] Kevin W. Pearson, “Stay by the Tree,” Ensign, May 2015.
[6] Doctrine and Covenants 6:22–23.
[7] David A. Bednar, “That We Might ‘Not … Shrink’,” CES Devotional for Young Adults, Mar. 3, 2013.
[8] Doctrine and Covenants 6:23.
[9] Dallin H. Oaks, “Timing,” BYU devotional, Jan. 29, 2002.
[10] Thomas S. Monson, “Do Your Duty—That Is Best,” Ensign, Nov. 2005.
[11] Sue Clark, “Be Where You Are Supposed to Be,” BYU-Idaho devotional, Aug. 30, 2005.