Loosen the String

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After college, I worked full-time as a camp director and an adventure therapist. For one of my responsibilities, I oversaw a camp for adjudicated youth. During one session of camp, I received an urgent call from my brother, who conveyed that my oldest step-sister had been killed from a senseless act of violence, and my step-brother was fighting for his life. I hung up the phone. In the silence of my office, a few months out of college and 2000 miles from home, I felt overwhelmed and alone.

I will tell you more about that day. Now, I’d like to introduce my topic of “wholesome recreation.” You’ve likely heard this before, but I want to explore this in further depth.

“Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities.” ^[1]

Today I would like to discuss four fundamentals of wholesome recreation.

Wholesome recreation:

• takes work,
• is intentional,
• renews the mind, body, and spirit, and
• connects us to others.

Wholesome Recreation Takes Work

On that difficult day as a recreational therapist, I knew it would matter how I used my time after my day’s work. I needed renewal. Sitting in my tiny cabin to agonize over this tragedy would lend little comfort. I decided to go to the local pool. Donning my swim cap and goggles, I began the slow cadence of laps. The silence of the water created a timeless moment in which I could focus on one thing. I prayed. With no outside stimuli of flashing screens or pinging notifications, my skill matched the task at hand, allowing me to be immersed in my toil. ^[2] The benefit of clarity of thought, emotional regulation, and physical satisfaction outweighed the exhaustion I knew would come from the swim. Elder D. Todd Christofferson spoke regarding the work of wholesome recreation:

Music, literature, art, dance, drama, athletics—all can provide entertainment to enrich one’s life and further consecrate it. At the same time, it hardly needs to be said that much of what passes for entertainment today is coarse, degrading, violent, mind-numbing, and time wasting. Ironically, it sometimes takes hard work to find wholesome leisure. ^[3]

The father of all lies ^[4] has portrayed recreation as activities that kill time or are unwise. Statements like “I deserve a break,” “It’s my time to do what I please,” or “I have nothing better to do” are commonly used to justify mind-numbing and time wasting activities.  Wholesome recreation is just that—wholesome! It is the act of recreating! It requires work to become a dancer, to mountain bike, attend the temple, play an instrument, or join an uplifting gathering. The struggle comes in forms of consistently practicing a skill, holding a conversation, and accessing innovative ideas, which result in payoffs like grit, friendship, creativity, and health.

I remember an adjudicated gang member that was in the program I oversaw; I’ll call him John. I witnessed when John realized that he could choose to be respectful and kind. After experiencing sheer terror while trying to climb a rock face, the work of wholesome recreation gave him the courage to see the needs of others, to seek to understand them, and to support his peers through the same paralyzing fear. He told me he wanted a better life and recognized, after that moment, that his life would change. In contrast, think of the results of hours spent mindlessly scrolling social media, playing video games, watching streaming services, and other activities that require little mental or physical energy. Satan portrays recreation as effortless and mind-numbing. While using the “flaxen cord[s]” ^[5] of complacency to “bind” the heart and mind, the victim is acted upon rather than able to act for himself. ^[6]

Reflect on Christ’s experience when He was led by the Spirit into the wilderness. After forty days of prayer and fasting, while in His weakest physical state, Satan came to tempt Christ. Consider Christ’s deliberate choices in his wholesome recreation. He chose the work of the wilderness. He chose to fast and to pray, and in doing so, built resilience and strength needed for His ministry. ^[7] He is the ultimate example of the idea that embracing wholesome recreation often takes work.

Wholesome Recreation is Intentional

The next time you have spare time, ask yourself whether your recreation activity has value, meaning results in the fruits of the Spirit. We know that “men are, that they might have joy” ^[8]—a conditional statement based upon our relationship with and expression of love for the Savior. ^[9] The gospel principle of wholesome recreation requires intentionality. On another occasion, I had the opportunity to work with a woman who had experienced the trauma of domestic violence. Her experience had forged distrust of herself and others. During one activity, she climbed to the top of a telephone pole and stood. The object was for her to leap and ring a bell. The invitation was given for her to identify what she wanted to leap toward in her life. Standing on the swaying pole, she declared that she wanted a better life, to be a stronger person, and to be a courageous mother. She leaped and rang the bell. Her feet firmly planted on new ground, this would impact her family and her future. We all witnessed the intentionality of re-creation. Blessings that come from practicing intentional wholesome recreation may include “weaknesses becoming strengths,” ^[10] “[denying ourselves] of all ungodliness,” ^[11] and “choosing the better part.” ^[12] The value brought to one’s life through practicing wholesome recreation is manifest in the fruits of the Spirit: “love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, Meekness, temperance.” ^[13] Our choices in wholesome recreation can bring value and lead us to greater joy!

Here are some experiences that my family has benefitted from. Through intentional application of wholesome recreation, parents can help heal relationships, boost a child’s resilience, develop adaptability, ^[14] increase confidence, and build a child’s testimony. ^[15] This can help prepare children to bring value—meaning the fruits of the Spirit—to their own lives and the lives of others. Randall L. Ridd explained intentional living:

The compounding effect of daily disciplines, with purpose and real intent, can make a big difference in all areas of your life. It can mean the difference between struggling through an ordinary life or being immensely successful and filling the measure of your creation. ^[16]

Think of the example shared in Elder Vinson’s devotional. His intentional use of wholesome recreation led him through consistent scripture study to gain conversion.

Wholesome recreation includes a variety of activities in different areas: reading, cooking, gardening, hiking, playing wholesome games, and learning new skills.

Turn to your neighbor and identify one area you currently participate in and one area you would like to participate in that you haven’t.

Examples of wholesome recreation:

·      Aquatic

·      Arts & Crafts

·      Cognitive & Literary

·      Dance

·      Drama

·      Environmental  & Adventure Activities

·      Fitness & Wellness

·      Music

·      Play

·      Self-Improvement

·      Service or Volunteer Opportunities

·      Social Recreation

·      Sports & Games

 

In what area have you participated? In what area have you not participated and would like to?

 As a student, I attended a devotional at Ricks College. The speaker spoke of a young woman who attended home evening weekly, encouraged roommate prayer, and attended her weekly church meetings. He then identified her actions as a mother. Her family held weekly family home evening, family prayer, and attended church. In that moment, it hit me that as a student, I had to practice the very things I wanted for my family. Many of my actions changed that day. How you spend your time now will not magically change in the future; what you do today is what you are preparing to do tomorrow. Let me repeat that: what you do today is what you are preparing to do tomorrow.

As President Eyring discussed in devotional a few weeks ago, so much of our children’s testimonies will be rooted in the homes we create. Being intentional now by choosing gospel-oriented activities as a part of one’s wholesome recreation can lead one toward the same activities practiced with family. Elder Dallin H. Oaks explained this:

Consider how we use our time in the choices we make in viewing television, playing video games, surfing the Internet, or reading books or magazines. . . . It is good to view wholesome entertainment or to obtain interesting information. But not everything of that sort is worth the portion of our life we give to obtain it. Some things are better, and others are best. ^[17]

The greater skill you have of practicing the best in wholesome recreation, the greater your ability, in times of trial, to help yourself, your family as a whole, and individual family members. When responding to what she learned from the class Family Recreation, a former student wrote:

It’s important to think about, and take the time and effort to include recreation [in] family life. . . .  It helps in building unity, love, and a sense of security through trials. It is not just fun! It serves an important function in the family.

On one occasion, our family was going through a particularly intense time. As I did the dishes, I knew something intentional had to happen to lighten the mood. Grabbing the sprayer, I pointed it at my husband! Before it registered with him, I sprayed the water with full force and turned it onto my older girls. All were astonished, and before anyone could react, I booked it. An epic water fight broke out in our home. Our oldest actually ran through—and I mean through!—the screen door to attempt escape. An intentional memory made that day helped our family learn to laugh through trial. Participation in wholesome recreation increases cohesion in relationships, ^[18] resilience, ^[19] and communication. ^[20] If you prayerfully develop the skill of wholesome recreation, you will, when needed, minister to others. Ask yourself whether you have yet honed that sort of intentionality with your recreation activities.

Wholesome Recreation Renews the Mind, Body, and Spirit

One of the benefits of wholesome recreation is the renewal of your mind, body, and spirit. Certainly, after reading your comments on the discussion board, I know renewal is a benefit that a tired student needs!

The Lord intended for us to have a form of renewal in this life. Joseph Smith explained this in the example of a hunter’s bow being strung too tight. What happens when a bow is strung too tight? It loses its spring, rendering the hunter’s equipment useless. ^[21]

Scripture states, “Do not run faster or labor more than you have strength and means provided.” ^[22] As one of 13 children in a blended family, I was responsible to be diligent in paying for all of my college expenses. I intentionally scheduled classes that would “loosen the string,” such as classes in languages, outdoor skills, exercise, dance, and sports, which provided needed renewal for a busy college student.

When students come to me overwhelmed with life or studies, I often ask the question “When was the last time you took 20 minutes out of your day to do something that brings you joy?” And by joy I don’t mean excessive social media or streaming binges! Often, they respond with reasons why they are too busy. At that point, I invite them to go for a walk, a run, choose something that they enjoy doing for 30 minutes, and to return.

Students generally return relaxed. One student actually began making rice bags and giving them to people. He liked to sew and found that sewing combined with the service helped him relax and feel joy. Interestingly, when people participate in service or other “happiness enhancing strategies,” life satisfaction increases. ^[23] After all, the pioneers, when crossing the plains, often ended their evening in song and dance. [24]

“The path of least resistance makes crooked men and crooked rivers.” ^[25] If you opt to be unintentional in your choice of recreation, you may find yourself having wasted much time void of renewal. Many of you responded to the discussion board confirming this. Mindlessness will leave one feeling drained rather than focused and sharp. If in doubt as to whether the activity you are considering is wholesome recreation, ask yourself:

• Does this bring value to my life?
• Does this bring value to the lives of others?

Wholesome Recreation Connect

Wholesome recreation allows us to connect with God and with people. Conversely, mindlessness brings forth the illusion of connection. I have witnessed this scenario on multiple occasions. A young woman—I’ll call her Mary—went to class and only interacted with her phone. Rather than initiate a conversation, Mary engrossed herself in distraction, awaiting class to begin. After class, she walked back to her apartment, head buried in her phone; and upon entering her apartment, Mary went to her room and immersed herself in some streaming service or fiction. Mary ultimately stopped coming to class, and spent days on end alone without interaction with a live person. Now substitute additional activities in this scenario including inappropriate videos games, pornography, gambling, or substance abuse. Hollow entertainment used as a security blanket or escape results in lasting loss of opportunities in friendship, growth, and joy. 

Social isolation is associated with depression, anxiety, stress, loneliness, and a myriad of other issues. In a study of 2,000 millennials, 7 out of 10 admitted that they avoid talking face to face with people. In addition, 40% of millennials believe that they lack social skills, hindering work and friendships. ^[26] Elder David A. Bednar discussed this:

An immature or misguided spouse may devote an inordinate amount of time to playing video games, chatting online, or in other ways allowing the digital to dominate things. . . . But important opportunities are missed for developing and improving interpersonal skills, for laughing and crying together, and for creating a rich and enduring bond of emotional intimacy. ^[27]

An emoji or Snapchat does not compare to the joy of hearty laughter when two people find pure humor together. A GIF that empathizes with one’s sadness, while thoughtful, does not compare to a warm embrace and a listening ear. You see, when we open ourselves to participation in wholesome recreation, we open ourselves to true, heartfelt connection.

Technology functions on algorithms and formulas; it is highly organized and routine. Human relations are anything but; in fact, they can be messy and unpredictable. The acts of congratulating someone on a win, empathizing with someone on a loss, sharing stories of the day while doing an activity together, the humility of learning something new connect us, opening up a richness of relationships.

There is no equal substitution for face-to-face interaction.

To my friends who struggle with social anxiety: You may at this point have broken out into a cold sweat at the thought of immersing yourself in activities surrounded by a ton of people. Colleges tend to love that sort of thing. [28] Please do not misconstrue my message. Prayerfully consult with the Lord about wholesome recreation you can participate in that will bring a connection. It can be as simple as giving service, going with a friend to the park, or spending the afternoon in a tandem canoe. As a muscle will atrophy without effort, so will relationships without connection. 

Think of the life of the Savior. How many miracles came about because Christ chose to place Himself in a position to connect? He spent His wholesome recreation ministering, and in turn, He healed the spirits and the bodies of those around Him. Connect with people. You are divine! There is something you have to offer of which someone else is in need.

Conclusion

Let me return to that day I learned of my step-sister’s death. Upon returning to my cabin, a friend from church, who I would later learn was my visiting teacher, came over.  She had been contacted by a mutual friend.

In my grief, I was dismissive. I wanted to be alone. She sat down on my couch. Her facial expression communicated a resolute: “I’m not leaving.” I busied myself with cleaning, dinner, anything to avoid conversation or eye contact. My friend respected my silence. She waited. I worked. After two hours, I sat down on the couch, and my tears flowed. She listened.

She gave the gift of connection. She had worked to be intentional in her choice to involve herself in wholesome recreation, bringing value to another person—ministering to one in need. In a cabin in the solitude of the woods, she helped me re-create. I would go back to work the next day. It would be several days before the funeral. It was bearable. I had been able to renew and to connect.

Brother and sisters, there are so many opportunities that await you, so many talents to develop and discover. This campus holds the means for you to explore and build a testimony of the principle of wholesome recreation. If you don’t know where to start, here are a few suggestions: Attend your ward, including the ward socials and home evening; don’t be a stranger! There is an array of student activities for you to participate in; surely there will be something of interest to you! Give yourself the challenge to accept the work of building wholesome recreation into your life. Become intentional in how you use your time and talents. As Christ did, go about doing good! ^[29] By so doing, you will be able to do hard things, renew your spirit, and connect to people. They will bless your life as much as you will bless their lives. The Lord loves you. He is aware of you this very day. His blessed Atonement bridges the gap for us to embrace Him, return to Father in Heaven, and have our own eternal families. Know that if you pray and ask for His help, He is enthusiastically awaiting the invitation. This is my testimony and prayer, in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

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^[1] “The Family: A Proclamation to the World,” Ensign, Nov. 2010; emphasis added.

^[2] See Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi & Judith LeFevre, “Optimal Experience in Work and Leisure,” The Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, Vol. 56 : No. 5, 1989, pages 815-822.

^[3] D. Todd Christofferson, “Reflections on a Consecrated Life,” Ensign, Nov. 2010.

^[4] See 2 Nephi 2:18.

^[5] 2 Nephi 26:22.

^[6] See Acts 8:23; 2 Nephi 2; Alma 41:11.

^[7] See Howard W. Hunter, “The Temptations of Christ,” Ensign, Nov. 1976.

^[8] 2 Nephi 2:25.

^[9] See John 15:11.

^[10] See Ether 12:27.

^[11] Moroni 10:32.

^[12] See Luke 10:42.

^[13] Galatians 5:22-23.

^[14] See Angela Duckworth, Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance, 2016, pages 233-236.

^[15] See Marianne Holman Prescott, “Get a Sneak Peek at the New Church Curriculum for 2019,” Church News, Sept. 5, 2018; lds.org/church/news/get-a-sneak-peek-at-the-new-church-curriculum-for-2019?lang=eng.

^[16] Randall L. Ridd, “Living with Purpose: The Importance of ‘Real Intent’,” An Evening with Brother Randall L. Ridd Worldwide Devotional for Young Adults, Jan. 11, 2015.

^[17] Dallin H. Oaks, “Good, Better, Best,” Ensign, Nov. 2007.

^[18] See Ramon B. Zabriskie & Bryan P. McCormick, “Parent & Child Perspectives of Family Leisure Involvement & Satisfaction with Family,” Journal of Leisure Research, 2003, Vol. 35 : No. 2, pages 163-189.

^[19] See Mattias Buckhecker & Barbara Degenhardt, “The effects of urban inhabitants’ nearby outdoor recreation on their well-being & their psychological resilience,” Journal of Outdoor Recreation and Tourism, 2015.

^[20] See Christy Huff, Mark Widmer, Kelly McCoy, & Brian Hill, “The influence of challenging outdoor recreation on parent-adolescent communication,”  Therapeutic Recreation Journal, 2003, Vol. 37: No. 1, pages 18-37.

^[21] See William M. Allred, “Recollections of the Prophet Joseph Smith,” The Juvenile Instructor, Aug. 1, 1892, page 472.

^[22] Doctrine and Covenants 10:4-5.

^[23] Nancy. L. Sin & Sonja Lyubomirsky, “Enhancing well‐being and alleviating depressive symptoms with positive psychology interventions: A practice‐friendly meta‐analysis,”  Journal of Clinical Psychology, 2009, 65(5), 467-487.

[24] See Carol Cornwall Madsen, “Journey to Zion: Voices from the Mormon Trail,” 1997, page 463.

^[25] This quote is often attributed to Henry David Thoreaux.

^[26] “Americans Lack Key Social Skills, Avoid the Phone, and Fear Small Talk,” Mar. 29, 2017; swnsdigital.com/2017/03/young-americans-lack-key-social-skills-avoid-the-phone-and-fear-small-talk/.

^[27] David A. Bednar, “Things as They Really Are,” CES fireside address, May 3, 2009.

[28] See Susan Cain, “Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World that Can’t Stop Talking,” 2012.

^[29] See Acts 10:38.

Loosen the String

Audio of Janell Greenwood's BYU-Idaho devotional speech, Fall 2018

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BYU-Idaho Radio Interview

Audio of Janell Greenwood's BYU-Idaho Radio interview about her devotional speech, Fall 2018.