BYU-I lays skateboard trap
- posted: 13 Nov. 2007
- scrollopinion@byui.edu
The chain-link fences came down recently, unveiling what the burly construction workers have been hiding from me for months as I’ve passed between the Spori and Snow buildings every day on my way to class. The dust has cleared and the cement trucks have lumbered away to reveal that BYU-Idaho has built a skateboard park.
Apparently BYU-Idaho has decided that skateboards on campus are no more hazardous than bicycles, and has now built a series of ramps behind the Spori building as a peace offering to skaters.The administration must have decided that they’d rather be hit in the ankles by a skateboard than have their fingers cut off in the spokes of a bike.
My initial excitement gradually gave way to suspicion. Part of me was ready to congratulate the admin on another excellent addition to the campus, but another part of me smelled a trap.
The “No skateboarding, inline skating, or any kind of rolling fun besides bicycles and apparently razor scooters because they’re so ridiculous, and we’ll let them slide” sign by the Clarke Building was still up. Perhaps they just hadn’t thought to take it down yet in the wake of the exciting new skate park completion.
Then I thought about it a little more. That maze of wide, perfectly swooping sidewalk must have cost a grip of cash. I saw at least 170 manly workers working on it throughout the summer. How much did the school pay out between cement and salaries?
What I’m about to reveal to you, my fellow students, is confidential and potentially dangerous information. The new skate park is a trap! Skateboarding on campus will result in a ticket of at least $10, and I’m positive that the school isn’t about to expunge the no skateboarding rule from its catalog.
They’re planning on paying off the new construction with the booty from our tickets! But I have a plan to outsmart them: Let’s sell our skateboards and buy razor scooters. Then we can rejoice in our cleverness and laugh in the face of the ticketers waiting to ambush us. After all, they can’t be mad at us for being smart. We’re college students. 
