Domo arigato, Mr. President
Smell that? Its BYU-Idaho, and it’s the smell of innovation.
Now, in the year 2007, we’re just eight years away from hover boards and flying cars made popular in the Back to the Future movies.
With the way society is moving these days, a technological triumph is all but gift-wrapped and set under the Christmas tree.
All this expansion into the future made me consider BYU‑I and how we could better the student experience.
But how? Painstaking thought, research and experimentation brought me to one simple, yet unknown conclusion. A conclusion so extreme that it could not only blow your mind, but leave you begging for the entire video collection of Mary-Kate and Ashley.
The answer? Robots.
That’s right: alloy-covered, light-blinking, creations of science. But not those robots who turn on their makers and destroy the planet. Blah. This is BYU‑I and students leaving their computers all day long in the library will tell you that nothing remotely bad could ever happen here.
Think of the possibilities! There are already robots that vacuum carpets and parallel-park cars, so why not robots that could make you breakfast in the morning, or better yet, represent students at BYU-I!
Imagine a student body populous that knew exactly what it was getting from its latest SBO candidate like the QR-384X0, known commonly as Stan. They would know how it was programmed, and how it should react. They could vote for Stan and know that he wouldn’t veer from the programmed standards that came via UPS—for Stan is all wire and no heart.
There would be little turnover from semester to semester. So the students could elect the president and vice presidents, all robots, and then a student representative senate that would the really represent students from each college on campus. The senate would indeed be warm-blooded students. The three-semester schedule wouldn’t be as burdensome on the SBO and some continuity could exist.
Plus, think of the scholarship money that the school would save on robots! Surely a bit of maintenance here and there doesn’t equate to a full-ride tuition. It could also give the engineers on campus an extra practicum.
The officers in place now work hard and try their best, but we are nearly a decade past the year 2000, and it is about time we make some really big leaps. Voting a robot for president is the first step toward order in the BYU‑I student government.
Well, that, or a government of representation. 
