Helicopter parents spin out of control
- posted: 04 Dec. 2007
- scrolllifestyle@byui.edu
The cell phone rings again. “Mom,” according to the front screen. This is the tenth time she has called today. “Helicopter parents,” a term begun in the book Parenting with Love and Logic: Teaching Children Responsibility, hover over their children, becoming over-involved in their kids’ personal lives.
Some feel this overprotective attitude leads to underdevelopment of children, especially when children reach college. “I think at this stage they should do their own work,” said Tammy Smith, mother of two college students, including one at BYU-Idaho. Smith admits being overprotective but strives to give her children space.
Helicopter parenting seems to have gotten out of hand at some universities, including Colgate University in New York, which recently explained at freshman orientation its focus on quality education rather than pleasing parents, according to an article in USA Today.
“We noticed what everybody else noticed. We have a generation of parents who are heavily involved in their students’ lives, and it causes all sorts of problems,” said Adam Weinberg, dean of Colgate University.
The university feels parental involvement discounts problem solving, compromising and other self-improvement lessons taught in school.
At BYU-I, some feel cell phones encourage increased parental involvement.
“Having a cell phone affects me a lot because it’s right there. I usually call my parents when I’m walking home. That way I don’t have to wait until I’m by a phone,” said Smith’s daughter, Brittney, a freshman studying health science.
Sometimes parental hovering can be confused with child dependency.
“They usually call me,” Smith said. “Sometimes several times in a day because they have questions about washing laundry or cooking.”
Brittney agrees that struggles with roommates, cooking or the need to catch up deserves a phone call home.
When it comes to other issues, Brittney takes her own initiative.
“I’d be embarrassed if my parents got involved because I am an adult and should be able to take care of it. If I can’t, that says something about me.”
Parental hovering may leave children without essential assertive skills and parents with expensive cell phone bills.
Smith’s solution is “don’t get involved.”
