While I worked as a development therapist for two summers I taught life skills to people with various disabilities. I taught them how to read, how to address an envelope, how to tell time, how to count money — all of the skills that many of us take for granted.

In order to work as a development therapist, I had to take training classes. The first training class I ever went to about disabilities changed the way I thought about “disabled people.”

The trainer discussed the idea that has been coined as “people-first language.” The person comes first and then the disability. So instead of saying, “a disabled person,” you would say “a person with a disability.” The connotation of “disabled person” means they are disabled in every aspect. They cannot do anything. The emphasis is on “disabled.”

However, “a person with a disability” puts the focus on the person and not the disability. They are a person, just like you and me, but they have a disability that limits them to some degree.

When I worked as a development therapist, I discovered that people with disabilities are just that — people. They have thoughts and feelings just like us. They have goals, hopes and dreams. The person must come first. This way of thinking encourages people to have more love, understanding and patience when they interact with a person who has a disability.

Not only does that way of thinking foster understanding, but it also fosters a mutual teaching relationship. The clients I worked with were not disabled in every aspect of their life.

Many of my clients could not tell you what time it was, but they could tell you that they loved you. Many of my clients could not tell you what six times five was, but they could tell you that you were their friend. They were an example to me in how to love and forgive — something that all of us can learn and improve upon.

So which came first: the person or the disability? Especially from a spiritual point of view we can answer that easily. The person’s personality and spirit came first. They were just given a disability that hinders their temporal development in life, but not their spiritual one. Their spirit is not disabled, only something in their body.

So the next time that you see a person with a disability, look past that disability and look toward the person — you just might find that they have more in common with you than you think.