Seriously, why wasn’t I born with acting ability or at least some “don’t-be-so-awkward-around-humans” skills?

Yet, trying out for that student play tonight was a thrill. A thrill I didn’t know I would experience until approximately seven hours before my audition when I first saw the flyer asking for actors. I looked at my friend, she looked at me, and at that moment we knew I was going for it. The only problem was, I ain’t no actor.

I decided to take the plunge anyway, just for fun. I do love auditioning for things. Just the sheer case of nerves I get is an adrenaline rush equivalent to jumping off a building or driving to the sand dunes the first time. Purely exhilarating.

Auditioning for the theatre would be no different. The thrill of learning lines, going to the audition and the director telling you where the cast list will be posted. I’m sure it’s a different thrill altogether when your name is actually on that list.

Sadly, it won’t be after my performance tonight. I wouldn’t cast me. I wouldn’t even let me near the stage. I could trip, hit my head and say something like, “Uh, can I start over?” Yes, my biggest fear came true tonight when the eerily similar try-out scene from Bring It On popped into my head like the Marshmallow Man stomped into Ray Stanz’s mind in Ghostbusters. In times of difficulty, I am plagued by an unnatural ability to remember every movie I’ve ever seen and relate it to my current situation.

I’ve always wondered what my old teacher meant when she said I had a lot of nervous energy. She also said I reminded her of Lorelei on Gilmore Girls. Oh my, the perfect role!

If only I could channel all these nerves into a super power and fight for a good cause. I could cure cancer or abolish the funk that emanates from the MC steps.

Just don’t call me Tranquil Girl.