“Naked people have little or no influence upon society,” said Mark Twain. Verily, it is by our attire that we will make our largest impact upon the world, be it good or ill.

With this in mind, we will discuss the stylistically deviant faction of the population known in academic circles as the “a-fashionable.”

A-fashion is not to be confused with unfashion. An unfashionable person may wear pastel sweatshirts with cats on them and braided belts; they are completely oblivious to their folly. In essence, un-fashionable people “sin in ignorance” and are to be forgiven.

A-fashionable people, on the other hand, consciously reject the norms by which the harmonious dress of society is dictated. These are they who once walked the path of style and have since turned aside.

Technically, whether or not the clothes of the a-fashionable person are in style is irrelevant. A-fashionable individuals exude a powerful “I don’t care” vibe that eliminates any question of whether or not their outfit is fashionable. This is not to be confused with the legitimate “I don’t care” style in which fashionable persons carefully choose their outfits to look as if they don’t care what they wear and thus are still fashionable.

An a-fashionable person is likely to purchase clothing based on quality and function, two factors which have little or nothing to do with the social acceptability of clothing.

This is only one example of the immature, inconstant attitude characteristic of a-fashion.

Sometimes a-fashionable people are difficult to differentiate from the rest of society because they wear socially appropriate attire to special, highly social occasions. Upon first look this may seem to be a redeeming quality — “at least they care sometimes,” one might think. This is the only exception to their poor taste.

In contrast to the fashionable soul who wears smart outfits regardless of convenience or occasion, the “behave while others are watching” attitude of a-fashion indicates a severe lack of integrity.

Remember who you are, and what fade of jeans is currently popular. To the stylish majority, remain as fashionable as possible. Avoid the cliff of a-fashion as if it were a plague. To those who may be struggling in the darkness of a-fashion: change your outfit. Come back. We need you to wear cool things. We love you when you look nice.