The first time I knew something was wrong was when I stood in line for lunch at a youth conference and was told I should be excommunicated from the church.

Now don’t worry President Clark or Brother Baron, it was not because I had done some heinous sin, rather it was because I admitted to never having seen Johnny Lingo.

Strange, but true.

This was not the last time something like this happened. When I first moved into my apartment and told my roommates during a late night conversation that I had never watched Charly or Newsies — a movie which seems to have been adopted into the Church — they almost died.

Although I still haven’t seen these movies, ones I have seen testify I may not be missing much. After all, I remember well the first time I saw the Telephone Call.

My Mormon-movie-watching experience started about age 14 with God’s Army. I watched this at the bishop’s house with the rest of the Mia-maids, and for some reason, thought my whole family needed to be converted to the Mormon movie genre.

Soon after this epiphany, I watched Saturday’s Warrior for the first time. This reconverted me to my family’s previous ways.

The set of the movie was, well, less than inspiring. Although the acting was okay, I must admit to having never seen them in anything else. That’s probably a good thing.

The music is amazing though. The ability of songs to remain in your head for days on end is a talent few songwriters have. They are also very easy to convert into parodies which can be sung at ward talent shows.

Besides the music, one great legacy lives on in the movie. That is the unnamed African-American. Not only is he in the “bad guy” group doing crazy dances, but he is a fellow elder on the mission. Talk about a fast conversion.

After Saturday’s Warrior there seemed to be a lack of Mormon movies for a long time, but they came back better than ever.

Singles Ward prepared me for college life more than anyone will know. I was not as stunned when my first day at Scroll included the announcements of several engagements or when I heard of a girl who was engaged after three days.

Although most new movies are grasping for a good plot, or any plot for that matter, some are really good.

I really enjoyed The Work and the Glory movies, even though they had to cut a lot from the book series. The set and costuming were well done and authentic. The story both taught good morals and entertained the viewer.

Best Two Years was also a much better play-to-movie adaptaption than Saturday’s Warrior. The movie still makes my roommates and me laugh, while others are moved close to tears as they remember their own mission days.

It is obvious that movie makers within the Church have observed and learned a lot more about what goes into making a good movie. Several of my friends even thought Saints and Soldiers was so well done that it might get an Oscar nomination.

So while I may be a bad member for not watching Johnny Lingo or Charly, I say I am all the better. After all, once I learn what an eight-cow-wife really is, what will I have to spend my days pondering about?