People have some interesting ideas about left-handed people. Some say we’re brain damaged or accident prone. Some say we’re geniuses.

Others have decided we are especially good at surviving in violent societies.
(However, that particular study was done by a team of French scientists, so I’m not sure how much I’d trust it.)

My personal favorite is the Vanishing Twin Theory, which states that all lefties were part of a twin pairing in the womb, but the right-handed twin “vanished.” Don’t ask me how that explains left-handedness, but don’t knock it, because I’m a believer. I’ll let you know when I find my twin.

Despite all the misconceptions about left-handedness, there are some real benefits. Here’s my list of the top 10 reasons why I love being a southpaw.

• The mouse is always on the right side of the computer. Or should I say the wrong side. This is a handy excuse when my papers are late. I haven’t had a teacher go for it yet, but some give credit for creativity.

• By definition, I am a sinister (Latin) and gauche (French) person. Naturally, this makes me a pro at dealing out left-handed compliments.

• The United Nations count persecution due to left-handedness as a reason worthy of international refugee status.

• Evolutionists can’t figure me out. According to evolutionary theory, lefty traits should have been eliminated from humanity a long time ago. Guys dig a woman with a touch of mystery.

• I can hold hands with a guy and eat at the same time. What more could a girl want.

• If I don’t like getting ink or graphite all over my hand, I can always switch to Hebrew or Arabic.

• In the lecture halls here, I have a valid excuse to use the desk of the seat to my left. This prevents me from being completely surrounded by freshmen who forgot to take showers.

• Following an aerobics instructor isn’t nearly so complicated. If only the rest of the class could catch on.

• I have something in common with Albert Einstein, Bruce Willis, Bill Clinton, Dave Barry and Osama bin Laden.

• Ruthless profiteers create overpriced merchandise just for me: a market full of scissors, rulers, watches and cameras. I haven’t seen a lefty microwave or blue jeans yet, but I’m still keeping my fingers crossed. (Blue jeans, you say? Try doing a discreet zipper check with your left hand.)

As you can see, we lefties lead charmed lives. All of you jealous right-handed people can stop drooling any time now. Unless you’re my twin, and then you should look me up.