Square: n.
1) A plane figure having four equal sides;
2) The product of a number multiplied by itself;
3) BYU-Idaho audiences during upbeat, groovy concerts.

Today, let’s examine the third definition of square. This article goes out to all the wonderful performers who come to this campus and put on explosive shows and yet receive a dead audience.

For a performer, the ring of the amplifier or overtones of perfect pitch should never linger at the end of a song. Explosions of whistles and applause ought to reward the entertainer for his or her talent. And I mean explosions — not the finger-tapping, palm, golfer clap university students offer.

Last week, I attended the Soweto Gospel Choir concert. There was so much soul and energy coming from those awesome performers, I couldn’t restrain myself from clapping to the African beat with the choir. The others who sat in the I-section with me looked at me as if I were clapping to the beat of a sacrament hymn. And at the end of the songs half of them didn’t even applaud! For rude!

Looking around, I realized the small percentage of the audience that participated with the gospel choir was located on the floor near the stage. The other thousands of students round about were as square and lifeless as cinder blocks in the Hart Auditorium. I eventually moved to a vacant seat on the floor. The atmosphere between songs was so dull I felt sorry for the Soweto Gospel Choir.

I think part of the issue stems from our experiences in church. After a song in sacrament meeting or a Christmas devotional, we sit in silence. Actually, we reverence that silence; which is OK — there’s a reason for it. But when a musician is dancing around on stage and claps his hands high above his head, there is an expectation that the audience participates.

We are so square; it’s undeniable! During Natalie MacMaster’s concert it took a lot of encouragement to finally get the audience involved. When MacMaster appeared on stage for the encore everyone just sat down.

“Oh no,” she said. “Some of you are coming up to the stage to dance with me.” Only at BYU-I would the performer actually have to invite people to dance and let loose at a concert.

Our culture as students here is good and clean. We are peculiar; we’re supposed to be. But let’s not be weirdoes. Let’s live a little.

Maybe we could get some of our BYU-I cheerleaders to show us the way to interact with performers.

Or maybe we don’t have to. Maybe Scroll articles like this one actually make an impact on regular readers. Hmm. Wouldn’t that be interesting!