Jessica Kolditz / Scroll

Manners taught differently to each generation

Tina Bosen BOS05003@BYUI.EDU Scroll Staff

A woman freshman at BYU-Idaho might observe how rare it is to hold her own door open. Within one week, she might not ever get the chance to carry her books to class.

Welcome to BYU-Idaho, where everyone says “please” and “thank you.”

This might be a slight exaggeration, but former President David A. Bednar said, “The Spirit of Ricks is not found in a building. It is not found in a place. It is found in the people, the students, the teachers.”

Dan Hawkes, a junior from Sugar City, Idaho, thinks almost everyone on campus has good manners. He also thinks having good manners “affects who we are.”

“If I don’t say please,” Hawkes said, “people may think less of me, even if it is subconsciously.” Hawkes was taught to have manners from the time he was little.

Hawkes’ parents taught him not to burp or put his elbows on the table at dinner. “My dad still reminds me of that one,” Hawkes said, “every Sunday evening.”

Common manners are taught in homes across the country. Nathan Williams, BYU-I religion professor, said his parents taught him to help clean up and work around the house. He remembers his mom encouraging him to write thank you cards to teachers and coaches.

“I really appreciated that,” Williams said. “It taught me gratitude.”

His mom taught him and now Williams teaches those lessons to his children. The concept of teaching children how to act politely goes back many generations.

In the August 15, 1898 edition of Woman’s Exponent, I.L. Greene Richards wrote an article entitled “We Mothers.” She wrote some basic lessons she felt parents should teach their children. The first is unselfishness.

“It is perfectly natural for an unselfish person to be polite. The Golden Rule, ‘To do to others as you would be done unto,’ is all there is to true politeness. And yet politeness has so much to do in each life.”

The article explains that children need to be taught how to treat others. “To be able to lay self aside and study the interest of others, finding joy in so doing, is indeed one of the highest attainments to which mortals can hope to reach,” Richards wrote. “And yet it really is among the first and most important lessons which can be placed before the child.”

So, throughout the years, children are taught to be unselfish, to speak kindly and to show proper respect. The latter is one issue Williams thinks needs more attention today.

“The degree of respect between people and authority is waning,” Williams said.

He believes if it is a parent and a child, a student and a teacher or any other connection, proper respect needs to be paid to those in authority.

The scriptures give guidance and counsel on how to treat others and present one’s self. According to Doctrine and Covenants, we should not speak evil of our neighbors for as Christ said in verse 38, “as ye do it unto the least of these, ye do it unto me.”

Section 50, verse 22 admonishes us to “understand one another, and both are edified and rejoice together.”

“We can find Christ-like ways to communicate,” Williams said.