ELLIS

Guys and girls speak out about Valentine customs

Guys try a variety of techniques to impress their girls

Kortney Ellis CLA01010@BYUI.EDU for the love

Paper hearts are hung on the guys’ doors with care and the smell of cookies drifts through the air.

It’s here again. Valentine’s Day — the day of love, flowers, chocolates and proposals.

It’s the one day of the year when red and pink don’t clash. And for guys that means it’s the day of judgment. It’s the day that girls use as a barometer to measure how thoughtful and creative a guy is.

Based on my personal experiences, there are four basic types of guys on Valentine’s Day: paper, rock, scissors and glue.

The paper guy thinks Valentine’s Day is a scam thought up by card and candy companies to make more money — or paper. He refuses to participate in the lame traditions and spends most of the day shut in his room playing Halo 2.

The rock guy loves Valentine’s Day. For him, Valentine’s Day rocks because candy is cheap and cute girls keep ringing his doorbell bearing plates full of heart-shaped cookies. He won’t put in any effort to celebrate Valentine’s Day, but will willingly participate in any tradition that benefits him.

Every girl probably knows a rock guy. You take him cookies, cakes and other Valentine’s paraphernalia in hopes of impressing him. You knock on the door, he opens, you hand him the cookies and he sets them on the table next to the two other cakes and three plates of cookies. He doesn’t take any girl out that special night, but he thoroughly enjoys all the attention he is getting.

The scissors guy is out to impress women. He will either spend time making cuts in his budget for personal needs and putting together a romantic date to show he can be a provider, or he’ll spend time cutting little hearts out of paper to show his sweetheart he is creative.

Last winter semester, I acquired a scissors guy a few weeks before the big day. At first I was excited; I wouldn’t have to spend Valentine’s Day alone. But within those few weeks the crush became a one-way deal and he wasn’t taking hints.

I spent the 14th avoiding my apartment, because I knew it was the day deemed for declaring love. Mostly I was a coward and didn’t want to tell him the feelings weren’t mutual. I returned to my apartment 15 minutes after guys-out and found what I had been dreading — a declaration of his love. It was a huge heart fashioned out of poster board with a cute message scrawled across it. The message was missing key words like “Big Hunk,” “SweetTart,” and “Almond Joy,” which were replaced, of course, with candy.

And now we come to the glue guy. This guy is stuck. He is obligated by a wife, fiancée or girlfriend to pour all of his creative energy into one day or risk being labeled an insensitive jerk. On Valentine’s Day we discover glue guys can get in touch with their inner feelings, or at least with the inner feelings of Hallmark writers.

When I was 18 my boyfriend was the typical glue guy. He gave me a card, which read, “How about a warm fuzzy on Valentine’s Day?” When I opened the card I found a piece of lint taped to the inside and a note from him; “Probably not the warm fuzzy you were looking for,” followed by some sweet nothings, which I won’t repeat for his sake. While glue guys like him might sound lame, you have to give them the credit for trying.

I can’t tell you which type is best, I have my preferences, and you will have yours. It’s nice to know there is someone for everybody. Unfortunately, many guys will make the wrong move and completely blow any chances with their girl, or any girl. Many guys will accurately judge their girl’s style and become a scissor guy just to please them. One thing is for sure; every girl will be observing her favorite guys to judge their sensitivity and creativity. If everything works well, there will be many more glue guys on Feb. 15.