Photo courtesy April Warnick

Couples find ways to include non-LDS family

Stephanie Fantasia JAM02003@BYUI.EDU Scroll Staff

After all the work a bride’s family puts into a wedding, the thought of alienating parents by being married in the temple can be depressing.

However, this is a relatively common trial among brides and grooms belonging to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

As couples strive to include families in their weddings, marriage in the temple should not be compromised in order to include everyone.

Bruce Johnson, bishop of the 8th Ward in the Salt Lake Liberty Stake, believes the temple is what we aspire to as Latter-day Saints and is truly of more importance if compromises cannot be made. He places extra emphasis on the word compromises, as opposed to sacrifices.

“We should not have to sacrifice our standards and beliefs because our family members are not quite in compliance,” Johnson said. “However, we can make compromises with them by explaining that although we are not willing to give up a marriage in the temple, we are willing to have a ring ceremony or reception as well.”

If a ring ceremony is on the agenda, it is important to consult with a bishop in order to make sure that all the requirements and rules regarding the ceremony, as outlined in a bishop’s manual, are properly handled.

It is a delicate subject because performing the ceremony incorrectly can detract from the symbolism and sacredness of covenants made in the temple. Ring ceremonies are typically performed in the temple and are not allowed to take place on temple grounds.

Valerie Eastman, a senior from Buffalo, Wyo., suggested another way to get parents involved. Allow your father to give you away at the ring ceremony.

She explained she decided to have a ring ceremony in her back yard so she could involve her dad after he and her stepmother said they felt isolated from the wedding celebration because they could not attend the temple.

“I told him I would have a ring ceremony so he could give me away. It was special for him and made him feel really included,” Eastman said.

Another great and simple way to include moms and dads in the wedding joys is to take them dress or tuxedo shopping.

Many moms dream about helping their daughter choose their wedding dress one day and preparing together can lighten the burden of not being able to attend the actual temple ceremony.

Allowing dads the to assist in the tux rental or purchase can help them feel more included as well.

One of the best ways to ease the tension surrounding the temple is to be vocal about it without disclosing any sacred information. Sometimes the temple can be a scary concept for relatives because they do not understand why it is important to members of the Church.

Explaining why a temple wedding is important and what it can mean for a family to be sealed within its walls can make all the difference, even if they do not share the same values or beliefs.