There is a cornucopia of reasons why the Pittsburgh Steelers will win Super Bowl XL. Quarterback Ben Roethlisberger has played nearly flawless football over the last couple of months.

The Steelers ran the table throughout the playoffs — winning all of their games on the road, in the AFC, a conference tougher than shopping on the day after Thanksgiving.

The Bus (Jerome Bettis) is playing in his hometown of Detroit, in what may be his final game — his first Super Bowl.

You can doubt them all you want (until now, I had). They have played far too well to be considered underdogs.

This is not to say that the Seahawks are not a quality team. Seattle has done extremely well throughout the entire season. However, they are not nearly as good as advertised.

Their inflated record is a result of playing in the NFC, a conference softer than Jon Lovitz’s abs. Also, running back Shaun Alexander is the MVP of the NFL, and he does deserve it, scoring 28 touchdowns this season. Nevertheless, he hasn’t proven himself against a good defense in the playoffs.

He played exceptionally well against Carolina, but that was with beat-up defensive end Julius Peppers.

When he played a quality defense like that against Washington Redskins, he got a concussion early on in the game.

The fact is that a pretty-boy like Shaun Alexander won’t last five minutes against a hard-nosed defensive team like the Steelers, who put a major hurt on big-time offenses like Cincinnati, Indianapolis and Denver.

When push comes to shove, it will be Pittsburgh winning the Super Bowl, but more importantly Seattle will lose 31-17.

Remember in Spiderman when Flash was picking on Peter Parker in the hallway of school and just before Peter goes Matrix on Flash by pounding him 30 feet down the hall?

With this illustration I ask you to imagine, if you will, the proverbial butt-whooping from the birds in Seattle against the pokes of Pittsburgh in Super Bowl XL.

That’s right, the Seattle Seahawks will win. This is scientific fact. I have formed a hypothesis and proven it. Believe it or not, I am a football scientist — not to be confused with a football Scientologist.

Let’s take a ride down memory lane. The Broncos in 1996 had a great year only to be manhandled by the Jaguars in the playoffs. Shocking, I know. The following year, the Broncos went 13-3 only to beat what “experts” chose as favorites — the Packers — in Super Bowl XXXII lead by future NFL MVP running back Terrell Davis.

Let’s take a gander at the 2005 Seattle Seahawks. Last season, favorites to get to the Super Bowl, the Seahawks floundered. No Super Bowl. No jubilation in the streets of the Emerald City. Now this year, lead by MVP running back Shaun Alexander, they have moderately gone under the radar and beaten the teams all the “experts” think should have won. Similarities? I say unto you yea.

Now let’s be honest, Steeler nation, Pittsburgh can’t win. I think you know it. The aging hipster that is Jerome “the Bus” Bettis is out of gas and so is the rest of the Steeler running game. Dan Marino couldn’t do it on his own and neither will Ben Roethlisburger.

Many “experts” (a term I use loosely) I’ve read about choose the Steelers to win and account it to something like a “gut feeling.” Well, I had a ‘gut feeling’ the Broncos would win the Super Bowl. Turns out that a gut feeling is nothing more than indigestion.

It’s scientific.