I’m a fan of salad dressings and sauces. Usually I’m willing to try anything new that I can pour over my veggies or dip my fries in. That’s why I was curious to try the fry sauce that my Missionary Training Center companion was raving about.
I was horribly disappointed. “It tastes like ketchup and mayo,” I told him after I dipped my cafeteria french fry into his sauce. He told me about its amazing history and that the original has pickle sauce and paprika added.
I scoured the Internet for information upon returning home and found a few articles touting the unique properties of Utah’s prized sauce.
It’s ridiculous that so many idolize the creamy substance, as if Utah created the perfect sauce.
Fry sauce is “as beloved to [Utah] natives as lobster is to Mainers, as Cajun spices are to Naw’leaners, as Mickey Mouse-shaped flapjacks are to Disney Worldians,” according to an article on www.adherents.com.
Maybe I have to be native to Utah to truly appreciate the stuff, but you really can’t compare it to celebrated Cajun spices or even Mickey Mouse pancakes for that matter. Fry sauce belongs in the category of misfit food products, along with rocky mountain oysters, pork rinds and tofu.
People. Come on. Fry sauce is a polluted version of Thousand Island dressing. Search any Web site with recipes for the salad dressing and you’ll realize fry sauce is a fraud. Most recipes had a ketchup and mayonnaise base with added spices and pickles. Do some research and you’ll learn that Thousand Island dressing was invented at the beginning of the 20th century, 60 years before it was reduced to fry sauce in Utah.
I’m not trying to attack fry sauce lovers themselves; I’m just trying to expose to the world that fry sauce is of the devil. It’s a counterfeit that robs Thousand Island dressing of its purity and virtue. If you enjoy fry sauce, that’s fine, you’re probably the kind of person who likes spam too.
I suppose I’d really been eating the stuff for years before I encountered it in the MTC. I put mayo on the top of my hamburger and ketchup on the bottom. It becomes fry sauce somewhere between my trachea and small intestine I’m sure. As long as it’s past my tongue. And don’t even get me started about Miracle Whip.
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