Of the many new firsts of marriage, one of the hardest can be deciding where to go that first Christmas.

With pressure coming from both sets of parents, and neither spouse wanting to leave their family feeling stood up, Christmas can be a stressful time for a new couple.

Sometimes the decision is easy. Miranda Dudley, a sophomore from Chesapeake, Va., and her husband, Robert, have it pretty easy.

Their families live seven minutes apart, with one side celebrating in the afternoon and the other later in the day.

Another couple with an easy decision is Daniel Creviston, a sophomore from Rexburg, and his wife, Belinda. “My wife’s family is from South Africa, so they don’t celebrate Thanksgiving,” Creviston said. “We go to my house for Thanksgiving and hers for Christmas.”

For others, the decision has more to do with how easy it is to get there.

Other decisions concerning family are based on “what’s going on with our families,” said Mylia Chambers, a junior from St. Paul, Minn.

ReNee Powell, in the Communications department, agreed. She and her husband spent their first Christmas at her house because “my family had more fun at Christmas than his,” she said.

Other ways of deciding where to go include how long it has been since the last visit to one side or the other, or whose turn it is. Adrienne Berg, a BYU-Idaho graduate, and her husband, Scott, rotate every other year.

Of course, not all couples choose to go to their parents’ for Christmas. Lisa Phelps, a BYU-I graduate, and her husband, Richard are one such couple. “It’s our first Christmas,” Phelps said. “We’re staying here in Rexburg this winter.”

No matter what couples decide, it is, as Dudley points out, not up to anyone else. “The thing [our families] have to realize is that it’s our family now,” she said. “We are the ones who have to decide where to go.”

The Christmas decision can be a hard one, but the thing to remember is that Christmas is not about competition; it is about family and love.