Shoes are great. Whether they’re simple, chunky, high or low, they’re just great. Almost every girl loves shoes. However I don’t think every girl loves pointed shoes.

I am one of those non-pointed-shoe lovers.

I have never owned a pointed pair of shoes in my life, and I never plan on owning a pair either. For those who love them – that’s great. I’m not saying pointed shoes should be banned from the universe. However I think there’s a few reasons they should be avoided ­— at all costs.

First of all, I swear they’re dangerous. They are hazardous to everyone’s health. It only takes one swift kick with a shoe like that to bring even the strongest person to their knees in pain.

A guy can tell a lot by the way a girl dresses — and shoes are included in that. Many guys have told me (we’ll refrain from using their names in order to protect them from deadly pointed shoe kicks) that they think pointed-shoes are a sure sign the girl is high maintenance.

I do have to be fair and say that not all girls who wear pointed shoes are high maintenance. There are exceptions to every rule. But I don’t want to be stereotypically dubbed as high maintenance by the shoes I wear.

Furthermore, I think pointed shoes look funny. Feet aren’t supposed to look any longer or narrower than they already are. Girls hate to compare their foot size with other girls and yet they’re willing to make their feet look longer with pointed shoes? Seems pretty weird to me.

In order to avoid the longer-looking feet, some girls buy pointed shoes in a smaller size. I guess it’s a more humane version of the Chinese women taping their feet to make them smaller, but I think it’s painful and all just for a fad.

Lastly, to tell you the truth, I can’t walk in those shoes at all! I tried on a pair of my roommates’ shoes and walking in them was like learning to walk in high heels all over again. The bowed legs, the wobbling and the eventual falling ­­— you girls remember how it went. So my hat goes off to all those girls who can successfully walk in pointed shoes.

Due to their dangerous and painful nature, I am going to avoid wearing pointed shoes ­­— forever. But for those pointed shoe lovers, may you walk gracefully in pain as I slip into my safe, comfortable tennis shoes and enjoy my walk on campus.

On behalf of all forward thinking, equal opportunity-supporting women of the 21st century, hear this:

Pointy-toed shoes are not only the last few seasons’ most beautiful fashion statement, they are empowering tools that make their wearer a better person by improving her posture, lengthening the line of her leg and raising her grades (usually purely by windfall of the posture and empowerment).

Now, many a male feel intimidated by these said shoes. An otherwise intelligent young man on this campus once said to a proud stiletto wearer, “I’m afraid you’re going to kick me in the shins.”

A sensitive woman can understand a man’s hesitation for the pointy toe and spiky heel. They do make a woman taller. They make her stand straighter and hold in her stomach, thus looking more sophisticated — more sophisticated, dare I say, than a young man in a hoodie and a pair of skater shoes.

Perhaps best of all, the stiletto most certainly adds a substantial measure of sassiness.

But concern for the health of the male shin? Surely you jest.

And to the aforementioned scared young man, rest assured: If a woman were going to kick him in the shins, she would have done it a long time ago.

Women in spikes seek not to harm poor, unassuming gentlemen, but to become more complete women by realizing the God-given femininity we reserve the right to magnify.

We magnify our femininity not only for hours of sheer entertainment, but also for fulfillment. Think about it — why would you frost a cupcake with mayonnaise?

That may not make sense, but keep listening. A cupcake may be rich, velvety and moist, but without a helping of equally appealing frosting to top it off it won’t seem too appealing.

Even if the cupcake inside is wonderful, no one wants to dig through the mayonnaise to get to the rich center.

So ladies and gents, fear not the femme.

Embrace it. Make frosting the more sugary, stiletto-wearing kind. Show beauty on the inside and out.

And that, friends, is the secret of the stiletto: not for brutality, but for beauty.