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Each year, many Latter-day Saint couples choose to marry outside of the temple. Friends and family members are left with the choice of how to react to their decision.
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Ceremony etiquette
• Arrive early and observe seating arrangements.
• Dress appropriately for the occasion. Remember it is their special day.
• Don’t bring children if the couple so requests.
• Usually there is a bride’s side and groom’s side at the chapel for guests.
• It’s appropriate to stand when the bride enters the room.
• Avoid taking photographs during the ceremony.
• Don’t bring a date unless the invitation says “and Guest.”
Compiled by Ashley Andrus
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| Supporting those who marry outside the temple |
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When someone says he or she is getting married, certain logical questions generally follow, including the question of where.
With someone who is a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, that question often takes the form of “which temple?”
“Now, since life is eternal — and that is absolutely certain — true marriage must also be eternal,” said President Spencer W. Kimball in the July 1998 Tambuli. “Only celestial marriage extends beyond the grave. Celestial marriage is performed in holy temples erected and dedicated for that special purpose.”
Despite this knowledge, many members of the Church still choose to marry outside the temple. When friends make such a decision, it can be difficult to know what to do.
Elder Dallin H. Oaks advised in the August 1999 Ensign: “We can set and act upon high standards for ourselves or our homes without condemning those who do otherwise.”
The following are some opinions and advice of students and teachers on campus:
• “I pray for them. I can’t imagine how difficult it would be to be in that situation, so I just try not to treat them any differently.” Robert Ameling, a junior from Grant’s Pass, Ore.
• “Judging doesn’t work. The instances that require us to the most charitable and non-judgmental are the instances when it’s the most difficult to do so. The temple is only closed to them for a year. What they have can be eternal.” Scott Ferguson, Religion professor.
• “Be a good example. If you get married in the temple, then they can see how happy you are and want that for themselves.” Erin Bangerter, a sophomore from Laie, Hawaii.
• “Love them. Go to their wedding. Celebrate with them.” Lane Williams, communication professor.
• “If it was a girlfriend of mine, I would help her get ready and just put a smile on my face. I would let them both know that I love them and that I will support them and that I didn’t think any less of them. I would still hang out with them and show that I appreciate their friendship.” Aubrie McReynolds, a freshman from Beaverton, Ore.
• “Keep being their friend. Don’t chastise them and always be there for them.” Julie Skidmore, a freshman from Phoenix, Ariz.
• “I wouldn’t talk about it at all. I would just support them in what they decide to do.” Zac Erbsteoesser, a junior from Georgetown, Texas.
• “We’re all working toward exaltation. I’m not there yet, and why should I judge where others are?” Ryan Hagge, a sophomore from Alturas, Calif.
