NGUYEN

OPINION COLUMN Do not stand in front of the television

by Peter Nguyen NGU04002@BYUI.EDU Scroll Staff

I don’t care if it is rotting my brain, I love my TV and I wish that you’d leave me alone when I’m watching it.

I’m completely serious.

This isn’t supposed to be a sarcastic lecture on how TV is bad for you. It’s an observation on how there is a social divide between people who like TV and people who pretend that they don’t like TV.

In talking to those around Rexburg, I’ve found that it’s a serious social mistake to mention the glories of television programming because invariably the response is, “Oh, I don’t watch TV,” which, of course, makes me feel like ripping my hair out because now it seems like that’s all I do.

Really, from whence did this anti-TV culture spawn and how do I send it back?

Admit it. You love Extreme Makeover: Home Edition as much as I do.

I’m always amazed at how prideful people get when stating that they have no time to watch quality TV.

What are they doing? Counting the pennies in their piggy bank? (By the way, I counted mine recently; I have been collecting them for over six months and I turned them in for a sweet four dollars and 83 cents.)

It’s hard for me to believe that people can fill their time with other things, and if there are people out there like that they’re probably the ones who have their cans of food alphabetized and their names stitched into their underwear. Mine is, but my mom did it for me so it doesn’t count.

How do people stay informed these days?

I mean, really, how do people keep in touch with the important things that are going on in the world today?

Without television you wouldn’t know that Brad and Angelina may or may not be a couple; you wouldn’t know that Geico Insurance discovered that there are cavemen living among us; and you certainly wouldn’t see all the money saving deals that commercials bring.

I think what irks me more than anything else is the look of pity I get when people hear me talk about the latest episode of Battlestar Galactica.

Let me tell you this right now: If anybody tells me how it’s a waste of time, I will punch them right in the nose. Actually, this is highly unlikely because I’m quite skinny and not particularly fast, but I will still definitely want to punch you in the nose.

Having read over this column, I feel dumb because I come off as an angry Asian man who really can’t find a good reason as to why he spends so much time on the sofa.

What’s my problem? I guess I’m really just upset that more people don’t invite me out. They probably don’t because all I talk about is television, but I watch television because I don’t get invited. It’s really just the vicious circle of social life.