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There are many changes in life when a woman gets pregnant. The wife goes through changes with her looks and hormones and her husband makes preparations for the newcomer.
Men have an important role in helping raise the child, and this may concern a student who is the father-to-be. Fathers on campus give some advice to those who are just starting out.
“Take an active part,” Nathaniel McKinney, a junior from Centralia, Ill., said to future fathers. “They need to know just as much as [their wife] does.”
McKinney and his wife Jessica, a sophomore from Rexburg, talked about having a family when they were dating and they were excited to start their own because they knew of its importance. They have been married for three years, have a two-year-old boy and another child on the way.
Nathaniel was gone for 18 months, 14 of them in Iraq and missed the birth of his son. This is the first pregnancy he has been able to help with and he said that future dads should go to doctor visits and classes to learn about birth so they can be prepared in case something happens.
Aaron Ellsworth, a senior from Rexburg, and his wife Lacey, a senior from Idaho Falls, have been married for over a year and they now have a two-month-old baby girl. Aaron said to “make the Lord as much a part of the relationship as your spouse.” He also encouraged women to be patient with their husbands because they do not always know what they are doing.
Johnathan Duncan, a junior from Rexburg currently off-track, said that it does not matter what others tell the future fathers. Until they actually experience it themselves, they will not know what it is like, he said.
He and his wife Anna-Liisa have been married for five years and they have a four-year-old girl and an 18-month-old boy. Johnathan said people may tell horror stories about those nine months and then labor, but “every pregnancy is different; plan for that. What others do doesn’t have any bearing.”
Johnathan suggests that once a family finds out they are going to have a baby they can prepare by reading What to Expect When You’re Expecting by Arlene Eisenberg. It was an excellent source to find out what is normal.
He also advised couples to have good insurance so that if something goes wrong it’s available. And do not wear your favorite cologne during a pregnancy because smells may get to your wife and she will not like it, even after pregnancy.
He also suggests that future parents watch for sales on diapers now. Buy fewer infant sizes and more medium sizes because children grow so fast. Cheap brands are just as good as name brands.
Fathers also had advice on family planning.
“Timing isn’t always in our hands,” Aaron said. He and Lacey went to a talk given by Elder David A. Bednar, then president of BYU-I, to the married students. One question was asked about starting a family and Aaron said Elder Bednar told the group that couples needed to think it out and include the Lord in their decision.
Duncan said that the time of year for the pregnancy is a good consideration. During the last several months, the wife may be hot, uncomfortable and irritable so he said to consider planning to have those uncomfortable months during the winter.
Couples need to pray about when to start a family, but not wait too long, Nathaniel said.
