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Perfectionism vs Wholeness


The following chart contrasts the characteristics of perfectionism with the characteristics of wholeness.



Unreasonable goals

Obtainable, realistic goals

Self-worth is based on achievements

Self-worth is inherent

Can't feel satisfied

Can reward self

Based on comparisons with others

Recognizes individual uniqueness

Feels unloved and invalidated unless performing well; cannot share mistakes without excessive shame

Accepts self as valuable while acknowledging human weakness

Chronically experiences excessive fear of failure

Can accept failure as part of learning process; able to keep trying

External standards for success

Goals derived from inner awareness

Goals exceed performance by a great degree

Goals reflect growth to the next stage of progressive development

Cannot find pleasure in progress toward the goal; focus is only on the outcome

Enjoys the "journey"

Emphasis is on keeping life in control

Emphasis is on keeping life in balance