Girl Failures at Ricks College

By Gregory Clawson '05, West Jordon, Utah 

I cherish my Ricks College experience.  The 1993-94 school years were very memorable, and provided a few embarrassing moments.  These embarrassing moments always seemed to be centered on my interaction with girls.

 

I attended Ricks College in January of 1993, just a few days after returning home from my mission.  I gave my homecoming talk and headed directly up to Rexburg to start classes.  Needless to say had very little time to adjust from mission life!  When I arrived in Rexburg a former mission companion encouraged me to attend a "Welcome Back Dance" at the Hart Gymnasium the evening of the second day of classes.  He told me how much I'd like getting to meet so many beautiful girls, especially when there was nearly a 3-to-1 girl-to-guy ratio.

 

I adamantly disagreed.  I was not going to go to a dance when I had barely left the mission field!  I told him that if I was to touch a girl it would only be to shake her hand, introduce myself and then move on...but I was not going to do any dancing (true story).  Yet with some arm-twisting he persuaded me to attend with the understanding that I was there to observe but not dance!  The thought of slow dancing with a girl was a little more than I could handle. 

 

I had only been there for about ten minutes when my plan of "observation only" fell through.  The song "Lady in Red" began to play (a perfect slow dance song) right as a pretty girl walked up to me and asked me to dance.  I quickly tried to think of an excuse, but nothing came to mind...how could I tell her no?  I don't remember talking much.   All I remember is how uncomfortable I felt when she tried to dance so closely.  I kept trying to pull away and she kept trying to hug me tighter.  I would pull away again and she kept pulling me closer.  I guess her strength was greater than mine because she ended up winning; we danced far too closely for my comfort.  She had no idea I just returned home from my mission and I was too scared to tell her. 

 

Instead of enjoying the moment, I felt like I was committing a grievous sin.  I kept looking around for my missionary companion, the assistants to the president, or the mission president to help me out, but they had all abandoned me!  Once the song was over I decided to go back to my apartment where I was safe.  Those Ricks College girls were just too aggressive for a newly returned missionary!

 

I decided that if I was going to be successful in meeting girls at Ricks I was going to ease into it and do it "my way".  I had always been good at remembering names so I decided to learn the names of all the girls in my ward.  That way I wouldn't feel pressure to date anyone too quickly (or heaven forbid dance with them) and I could socially "ease" my way back into post-mission life.

 

I got a list of the 300 or so members of our ward and began learning the names of everyone...with particular emphasis on the girls.  I didn't care so much about knowing the guys, but I was serious about learning the name of every girl in the ward!  My roommates and I visited the apartments of all the girls and got to know them.  I paid close attention to the names of everyone I could during church, ward prayer, and other activities.   

 

I was becoming successful in my quest.   I made an effort to introduce myself to everyone I could (focusing on the opposite sex of course) to learn his or her name.  If I forgot someone I would ask the person to remind me of their name so I could call them by them by name the next time we talked.

 

Several month later, an apartment of four girls caught wind that it was my birthday.  After ward prayer one of the girls invited me over to the apartment.  I didn't know the girls in this apartment very well.  They were more shy and reserved than many of the other girls on campus.  They invited me over to give me a birthday cake and card  (my efforts to learn names was a sure sign of success...don't you think?). 

 

I knew the names of the other three girls in the apartment but I could not remember the name of the fourth girl who gave me the birthday card.  I asked her to remind me of her name and she said, "Jessica."  I said, " Yes, Jessica.  I should have known that; you've told me your name before." 

 

The funny thing about it is I KNEW the names of the nearly 200 other girls in our ward-I truly did-I simply drew a blank on Jessica's name as I talked to her.

 

When I got back to my apartment I showed my roommates the birthday cake (chocolate cake with chocolate frosting...score!) and then sat down to read the card.  It said, "Greg, I hope you have a wonderful birthday.  You're a great guy.  One thing I really admire about you is you always remember everyone's name."

 

Signed "Jessica" (a sign of success?)