October 15, 2003

Former Church educator speaks on avoiding contention

 

 

            A former administrator for the LDS Church Educational System spoke on the importance of avoiding contention in his devotional address Tuesday at BYU-Idaho.

            Stanley A. Peterson began describing the principle of avoiding contention through the lyrics of a light-hearted song he learned as a boy: “You gotta accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative, latch on to the affirmative, and don’t mess with mister-in-between.”

            He said that too many people have become almost obsessed with fault finding, back biting, criticizing, contending with each other and making sure that “an eye for an eye” is never replaced by the golden rule.

            He compared this to an experience he had growing up on a chicken farm when he and his brothers had to cover blood spots found on the chickens with tar to keep the other chickens from picking it to death.

            “I hope we can rise above the mentality of a chicken and when we see a weakness or flaw in our neighbor, we don’t, as a group, set about to destroy them,” he said. “Instead of picking on others like a chicken, let’s follow the Savior’s admonition and pick others up.”

            He spoke next of an experience he had as a new elementary school principal with a faculty of 18 female teachers and 1 male teacher named Al. After meeting Al for the first time, Peterson noted that he gave him nothing more than a cold, icy stare, and even refused to shake his hand.

            The superintendent told him later, “Al is old enough to be your father. He has been at this school over 20 years waiting for the previous principal to retire or die so he could get his job. Need I say more. Al doesn’t have a problem, you have a problem, it’s Al. Good luck.”

            Peterson found that the superintendent’s observations were correct, and even after some time, no progress was made to better the relationship no matter how hard he tried.

            When teacher evaluations came around, Peterson was forced to give Al a “Below District Standard” mark on his ability to get along with the other teachers. After seeing the mark, Al exploded.

            Stopping to hear what he had to say after about 15 minutes, Al waited as Peterson offered a silent prayer and responded, “Al, whatever I have done to you to make you hate me so badly, I apologize to you for offending you. I am very sorry. But I want you to know something, I love you as my brother and I would like to be your friend.”

            After sitting in silence for the next few minutes, Al began to cry and said, “No one has ever told me they loved me in my entire life. Not even my mother or father.”

            The two became good friends and after Peterson was notified he would be taking another assignment, Al came up to him, put his arms around him and began to cry saying, “I don’t want you to leave, you are the best friend I have ever had.”

            He related this experience to Matthew 5:44 which says, “But I say unto you, love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you.”

            He spoke on the teachings and example of Jesus Christ, listing several examples where Christ counseled to be peacemakers and avoid any contention that may arise.

            He continued, “Satan tries so hard to spoil the spirit of love, unity, cooperation, and forgiveness with roommates, in marriages, homes, wards, stakes and in other places where we can lift one another up, support each other in our struggles and foster a spirit of unity and peace. Let us recognize the source of contention and derision in our lives and as the Savior said, ‘such things should be done away.’”

            Stanley Peterson worked as a teacher and principal in Southern California before serving in several areas within the LDS Church Educational System. In 2001 he retired as the administrator of religious education and elementary and secondary education for the Church Educational System, which is responsible for educational programs that operate in all 50 states and 160 foreign countries and involve more than a million students and employees.

            Devotionals are broadcast live on KBYI 100.5 FM Tuesdays at 2 p.m., and are rebroadcast Tuesdays and Sundays at 9 p.m. Next week’s devotional speaker will be Elder Lance B. Wickman, a member of the First Quorum of the Seventy.

 

 

  


News Home


Created and maintained by the BYU-Idaho Media Relations
Contact Don Sparhawk
Kimball 226, Rexburg, Idaho 83460-1661
(208) 496-1152

e-mail sparhawkd@byui.edu